


Actor

by cherrychainz



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad Boy Choi Yeonjun, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Soobin, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Yeonjun, Best Friends Choi Soobin & Choi Yeonjun, Best Friends Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun-Centric, Coming Out, Cuddling, Denial of Feelings, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kang Taehyun is Bad at Feelings, Kang Taehyun-Centric, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Original Character(s), Pining, Slow Burn, Stupidity, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, except for Beomgyu maybe, mentioned vminkook, nobody owns a single braincell, or maybe they're more than Best Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 108,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychainz/pseuds/cherrychainz
Summary: "Thank you very much, beloved boyfriend.""So we're official?""I guess." Taehyun sighed, clearly worried about the consequences of this decision, but by now he had accepted his fate.ORTaehyun, a shy and soft boy and amazing actor, agrees to play bad boy Yeonjuns boyfriend for a month to piss off Yeonjuns ex. But unfortunately, someone catches feelings and their fake breakup hurts more than it should.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 252
Kudos: 540





	1. prologue - chapter 1

"So I will pretend to be your boyfriend for a week or two, just so you can make your ex angry?" By now Taehyun wasn't even looking surprised anymore, but rather like he questioned Yeonjuns sanity. He had just pulled Taehyun into the boys bathroom after crossing him on the schools hallway to talk to him, and thankfully Taehyun had recovered from the shock quite quickly after Yeonjun explained the situation to him.

"Come on! I can't let her win this!"

"Win? How are you supposed to 'win' a breakup?"

Yeonjun sighed, not at all in the mood to explain this whole mess to the boy right now.

"Have you ever dated someone?"

"No, but-"

"Then listen. Breakups aren't always 'You and me don't work out so well', they can be petty ass competitions as to who will get back into their picture perfect life again first. And that's gonna be me, with a pretty tiny new boyfriend to show off." Yeonjun could tell that Taehyun wasn't at all into that 'showing off' part, considering he was always pretty shy and didn't like to be the center of attention if it wasn't on stage for his drama club bullshit. But exactly that Bullshit made him so endearing, he was, after all, an incredible actor and Yeonjun knew that he could pull off playing his boyfriend even in front of his disgustingly suspicious ex.

"So you win you stupid little 'Who's over their ex first' game, and I get nothing but laughs from all your friends once it's over and you 'break up' with me? So far there's nothing good coming from this for me." Taehyun crossed his arms, he was obviously judging the boy in front of him, furrowing his brows. Yeonjun had already thought of some more arguments though, he just had to convince Taehyun to do this.

"First of all, you can be the one to dump me. You can even make some shit up that pushes me into a negative light, I don't give a shit, I don't have a good reputation to lose. Also..." Yeonjun grinned, knowing fully well that whatever he was about to say would both provoke and persuade Taehyun. "Aren't you a theatre kid? Even though y'all are pretty talented, you don't have the best reputation in school, right?" Taehyun turned his head away, sighing. "Come on, I saw you with these bitchass bullies today. I know they're bothering you. But if you stuck to me and my friends, they wouldn't dare to come close to you." Taehyun didn't look up to Yeonjun, kept silent. "Come on... She's gonna stalk me for maybe 3 or 4 weeks and then she'll be over me and we can peacefully break up. I really-"

"When are we starting?"

"What-?"

"When do we start dating?" Taehyun was now looking straight into Yeonjuns eyes, clearly not amused but serious about this.

"Y-You're doing it?" Surprisingly, Yeonjun did not expect Taehyun to agree this quickly.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm not gonna do this any longer than necessary though. And once I feel like you've got this whole Ex Situation under control I'll break up." Yeonjun started grinning widely at the thought of his ex seeing him with a boy all happily in love just a week after their breakup. Everything worked out for him just perfectly.

"Then let's meet for a drink or something today so we can get into the details. Give me your number." Taehyun hesitantly pulled out his phone but smiled back at the other boy.

"A first date already? I'm expecting you to pay then."

Yeonjun huffed, once again surprised by Taehyuns sudden certainty and enthusiasm. He quickly copied Taehyuns number into his phone.

“Let’s not call it a date already, we’re not official yet~” Yeonjun winked at Taehyun, who only furrowed his brows and then ever so slightly shook his head. “Anyways, thank you so much. I’ll hit you up when school’s over, and then we’ll get into the details. Thank you, really!”

“Yeah, no problem, I guess. But-” Taehyun looked directly into Yeonjuns eyes once again, for the last time. “If this is getting too much, I’ll break up. You know, you don’t have the best reputation at this school. If I get involved into any of your problems, it’s over.”

“Theatre Kid wants to stay innocent and clean, huh? Ok, fine. Deal.” Yeonjun tilted his head. “And thanks again. I’ll text you.” Now he turned around and finally left the boys washroom.

Man. That was easier than expected. This plan would go perfectly.

\--------

Just about five hours ago, Taehyun was expecting to once again live through a normal day, average, without anything special happening to him. He expected a day which, as always, consisted of going to school, chatting with his best and only friend, practicing his lines, getting insulted and made fun of by some jocks and, most importantly, staying away from the rebels, the bad boys. But exactly that did not work out for him today. Because on lunch break, he got pulled into the boys bathroom by none other than Choi Yeonjun, the boy that quite literally ruled this school.

Yeonjun was the Demon King. People feared him, avoided him as best as possible, and when he told someone to fuck off, they definitely fucked off immediately. Yeonjun rode his motorcycle to school, skipped classes whenever he pleased, climbed onto the gym at night to vandalize it with his friends. Most teachers had given up on teaching him a lesson, yet the headmaster still regularly called him into his office. Taehyun was really wondering why he hadn't been suspended yet.

And that boy, the Demon King, had chosen the shy little drama club member Kang Taehyun, to be his fake boyfriend. And said Kang Taehyun was now on his way to some unknown little cafe to meet Yeonjun and decide on how to fool his ex girlfriend in the best way.

Of course, Taehyun could have declined that offer. Yeonjun didn't look as intimidating close up when they were alone in that bathroom, yet one thing Yeonjun had said was too good to decline.

High School was like a jungle and students were the animals running wild and giving their best to survive. Nerds, theatre kids like Taehyun and his friends, were on the bottom of the food chain. They were the hunted, the most unpopular, the one basically everyone made fun of. But Yeonjun and his friends, they were the absolute top of that High School food chain, the apex predator. Having him on his side, even just for a month, would make Taehyun and his friend seem more respectable. He’d surely rise up in this cruel hierarchy, protecting him from those that would usually tear him apart.

Right. He was doing this to protect himself and his friends. He had suddenly agreed to play the fake boyfriend of the most infamous student in his high school, without even knowing him personally, just so he could maybe get some rest from the relentless insults being thrown at him and his friend every day. Surely, this whole situation would be beneficial for him. Right?

Taehyuns steps slowed down a bit as he looked on his phone to check the map. If he kept up his tempo, he’d be at their meeting point, a little, quite niche looking cafe, in around ten minutes. But Taehyun began feeling nervous. The possible consequences of agreeing just now hit him. If he’d be running around openly with his new boyfriend, for everyone to see- Taehyun stopped, contemplating if he should just turn around again and tell Yeonjun that he wasn’t the right person to do this.

Because he wasn’t out yet. And having a boyfriend, suddenly being out there, openly gay- Wouldn’t it make him more vulnerable? Then again, his boyfriend wouldn’t just be ANYONE, but Choi Yeonjun, who already promised him to keep him away from any trouble regarding the annoying jocks.

Taehyun sighed. He should have thought about this more. He usually had a better judgement, but today, he just- agreed to this without thinking much. Because all he wanted was to not be bothered at school for simply enjoying something and not needing many friends to be happy. Was it worth it though? To literally date a stranger with a horrible reputation? Taehyun easily endured the people picking on him. It rarely actually hurt him, it was simply annoying, because it always were the same phrases over and over again. Yeah, maybe it didn’t matter, maybe he should just… not do it, decline the offer, just go home again and continue to do his homework or practise his lines for the upcoming play or watch his pet snake or do anything that wouldn’t involve Yeonjun and any of the other ‘bad boys’.

And yet in the end, he started walking again at a fast pace, his eyes on the map on his phone, on the way to that stupid cafe to meet Yeonjun, as he had remembered one thing: Even though Taehyun wasn’t really hurt by people making fun of him, his friend was. His best and only friend, Kai, he was hurt. And if there was any opportunity for Taehyun to prevent Kai from being hurt, he would take it.

Fake dating Yeonjun was exactly that opportunity.

The cafe Yeonjun had set up as their meeting point wasn’t as sketchy as Taehyun had thought. In fact, it was quite cute and cozy looking, and as soon as Taehyun entered, he was greeted by the smell of hot chocolate and a lofi hip hop playlist Taehyun has definitely listened to at least twice while studying. Was this really the right place for the meet up? A cute little unknown Cafe, and not some grungy bar full of untrustworthy drug dealers? Taehyun furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked around, hoping to spot Yeonjun.

And there he was. Sitting at a table near the window. Silver hair, a white shirt and leather jacket, chunky chains around his neck, eyes glued onto his phone. Quite intimidating, because now there was this stone cold expression on his face that hadn't been there when he dragged Taehyun into the bathroom earlier that day.

Taehyun slowly approached Yeonjun, then raised his voice just slightly, in hopes that maybe, he wouldn't even notice him.

"Yeonjun Hyung?" The boy slowly lifted his head, looking quite surprised.

"Oh, there you are. Have a seat, future boyfriend." Yeonjun grinned at him, his eyes gleaming, and nodded to the chair opposite to him. Taehyun sat down, trying to not look at him. For some reason, this whole situation was incredibly uncomfortable to him right now.

"Thanks again for doing this. I know this came kinda out of nowhere and like, we don't know each other, but- I hate to admit it but you’re kinda saving my ass. And my dignity." Yeonjun leaned back, the cold stare from just a second ago had turned into a somewhat mischievous expression.

"Why me though?" Even though Yeonjuns facial features had softened a lot, he still was pretty intimidating and Taehyun was lowkey scared. "Why didn't you ask one of your friends to do it? Like someone you already know?"

"You see-" Yeonjun sighed. "If I started dating someone I knew was into me, it would seem desperate. As if I'd just date anyone who thinks I'm hot. And you see, a lot of people I'm kinda close with think I'm hot." Taehyun snorted. "But you are like, the polar opposite of me. I wouldn't go out and just date some random theatre kid if it wasn't actually because I'm in love. Also, you're hella good at acting, which is kinda the key in all of this."

"And-" Taehyun looked down onto the wooden table, not sure of it was appropriate to ask. "Why do you want a boyfriend for all of this? And not a girl?"

"Oh, just to spite my ex a little more. She knows I'm bi but also knows that I don't really… fall in love with boys usually, I've told her many many times that I wouldn't actually start something serious with a boy. And now watch me come to school a week after our breakup, with a pretty little boy by my side having the biggest heart eyes for him, and him, despite being so tiny and soft and pure, having fallen for the big bad evil boy. This is gonna be some fanfiction level of shit."

Taehyun looked at Yeonjun, his mouth slightly open, nodding. He was smart. Much smarter than he expected him to be. Yeonjun had really planned all of this quite well, he knew exactly what he was doing and what would anger his ex girlfriend the most. So far, this was incredibly well thought out.

"Anyways, want something to drink?" Yeonjun slid a menu over the table to Taehyun. He took a look at the different drinks listed.

"There's no coffee?"

"Oh, nah, the owner of this whole thing fucking despises coffee."

"Oh?" Taehyun raised his eyebrows. "Then why is this still classified as a 'Cafe'?"

"I dunno, but I guess 'Shop for any kind of popular beverages other than coffee' doesn't roll of the tongue that well.”

"Right." Taehyun snorted once again. "Should have thought of that maybe." He kept looking at the wide selections of teas, chocolates and sodas, when an excited voice disrupted his selecting process.

"IF IT ISN'T MY FAVOURITE CUSTOMER!" A boy just barely older than Yeonjun approached the two. He was full of tattoos, had a bunch of piercing in his face, long fluffy dark hair, and a wide smile.

"If it isn't my favourite Hyung!" Yeonjun smiled back at him.

"Who did you bring with you today? Haven't ever seen this sweet boy with you!"

"Oh, he's my-" Yeonjun hesitated, and Taehyun knew exactly that he was about to say 'my boyfriend', but he held back. "My very, very good friend."

"Oooh, very, very good friend. I see!" The boy smiled and winked at Yeonjun in the most obvious way Taehyun had ever seen. "Then I assume I'm gonna see you more often? The name's Jungkook." Jungkook reached out his hand and Taehyun politely shook it immediately, smiling softly.

"I'm Kang Taehyun. Nice to meet you!"

"Mmh, Kang Taehyun. Was a sweet name for a sweet boy!" Jungkook started grinning even wider, and turned to Yeonjun. "Taste." And with that Jungkook pulled out a little notebook. "You guys wanna order?" Yeonjun looked at Taehyun.

"You go first."

"Oh, so-" Surprised by Yeonjuns politeness, Taehyun quickly scanned the menu again. "Can I have a classic hot chocolate with marshmallows?"

"Sure thing! Yeonjunnie?"

"You know it. Strawberry tea."

"Of course, the strawberry tea. Why do I even bother to still ask? I'll get your stuff ready!" Jungkook aggressively winked at Yeonjun once again, then turned around and left the two.

"Strawberry tea? Makes you look a lot less tough to be honest." Taehyun eyed Yeonjun, who just smiled surprisingly softly.

"I may like to pick fights with authorities and vandalize public institutions, but I can still enjoy some sweet tea." That somehow made Yeonjun seem a lot less scary. Suddenly he wasn't the Demon King of High School anymore, but just some boy in edgy clothes that was now patiently waiting for a cup of fruity tea. Taehyun had almost forgotten, what kind of power Yeonjun actually held.

"Isn't Jungkook nice?" Yeonjun switched the topic, looking back to the counter, where Jungkook was talking to someone in the kitchen of the cafe. "He looks scary but is actually just a big bunny. He's the owners boyfriend."

"He seems sweet."

"He is sweet, one of my best friends outside of school. He could never hurt anyone."

"I like his tattoos."

"Oh?" Yeonjun looked surprised. "You softie like tattoos?"

"Yeah! They're a form of art too, right? Just on your body, permanently. They can remind you of who you really are."

"Damn." Yeonjun scratched his left shoulder while looking at Taehyun with genuine astonishment. "Thought about getting one?"

"Thought about it a bunch of times but I think my pain tolerance is a little too low. Also my parents wouldn't like that at all."

"Well my parents don't like a bunch of things I do but I do them regardless!" Yeonjun grinned. Well of course he did anything he wanted regardless of what the people around him thought. That really made him into the 'bad boy's he was, right?

Then, someone new approached the two. Another boy, once again seemly older than the two, but significantly shorter. He looked sweet and soft, everything really just looked soft about him, his peachy lips, silky pink hair, his round glasses and tiny, delightful hands.

"If it isn't my least favourite customer!" He smiled as he sat down the tray with drinks on the table.

"And my least favourite Hyung!" Yeonjun quickly nodded at the older one as a thank you and proceeded to take his cup of strawberry pink tea from the tray.

"Jungkook already told me about your new… very good friend? Hi, I'm Jimin!" The pink boy slightly bowed to Taehyun, and he immediately did the same.

"Taehyun. Nice to meet you."

"Taehyun… Oh you look so sweet! You look like a marshmallow. Well, and you even ordered a marshmallow hot chocolate… Take good care of Yeonjun, will you?"

Taehyun just looked at Jimin in slight confusion, yet he was kind of flustered. If anyone else would have compared him with a marshmallow, we would have probably called the police or something, but hearing it from Jimin, who basically looked like the king of marshmallows, it was actually quite nice. Jimin smiled softly and took the empty tray.

"I'll go back to work again. Have a nice day!" And so, the marshmallow prince turned around and wandered away.

"Ah, Jimin… He's the owners boyfriend."

"I think I'm having a deja vu." Taehyun raised his eyebrows. "Wasn't Jungkook the owners boyfriend?"

“I guess sometimes you just gotta have more than one boyfriend.” Yeonjun just shrugged.

“Hm. That’s valid. Jimin’s sweet.”

“Oh, that’s what you think of him first, but this boy is nasty! I was out partying with him once, my poor innocent eyes have never recovered.” Taehyun huffed at the thought of Yeonjun actually calling himself ‘innocent’ as if he wasn’t know to be the most chaotic and wild. “Anyways, I think we should…” He took a sip from his tea, then looked Taehyun straight into the eyes. “...you know, start with this dating stuff.”

Taehyun gulped. Right. The dating stuff. The reason he was even here.

“If we just started tomorrow, we could meet during the break and just, I don’t know, hold hands and shit? And announce this whole relationship to my friends and you and you friend can just sit with us for a while. We gotta try be around my ex or her friends and act all cute and cuddly.”

“Who exactly are we fooling though? Aren’t you going to tell your friends the truth?”

“Well, technically the whole school needs to know. We used to rule the school together, me and my ex. We were the couple, strong, influential, very good looking… It’s not just her I have to convince, it’s everyone who knew I was dating her. And most of my friends, except for maybe two of them, are also close to her, so I can’t risk telling anyone that this is fake.”

“Geez…” Taehyun pulled his hot chocolate a little closer to him, holding the warm cup with both hands while looking at the tiny marshmallows swimming in the drink. “That’s- quite a lot.”

“You’re used to acting in front of the entire school though, aren’t you? You even had the lead role in last years play as far as I know.”

“Yeah, but I’m playing for like, two or three hours, not for a whole month. Everyone knows that on stage, I’m not Taehyun, but whatever role has been assigned to me. Also- I have my role under control, I’ve practised my lines hundreds of times and know who will react in what way to me.”

“If you need practise…” Yeonjun grinned and looked over to the counter. “Why not practise right now?” He started waving at yet another man who seemed to work at this cafe. “Taehyung? Won’t you come over for a second, I want you to meet someone!” A man with curly dark hair came over, smiling at Yeonjun, then laying his eyes which were framed by long, dark lashes, on Taehyun.

Was Yeonjun testing him now? Well, this was no different than some simple improv. Taehyuns speciality. He took a deep breath.

“Who are you introducing me to, Yeonjun?”

“I’m Taehyun, Yeonjuns boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He smiled at the man in front of him with the sweetest, most innocent yet shyest expression. 

“Nice to meet you too. I’m Taehyung, owner of this cafe.” He looked at Taehyun in surprise, then glanced at Yeonjun. “I didn’t know you had a new partner already. Didn’t you break up with Hyunji like a week ago?”

“Shh, we don’t talk about her. You know it was kinda icky with her lately. But I met Taehyunnie-” Did he really have to call him that already? “-and fell in love so quickly.” Yeonjun was looking at Taehyun in a way no one had ever looked at him, completely whipped, full of love, and even though it was kind of cute, you could just slightly see that fakeness, the acting, the lie in Yeonjuns eyes. Even he seemed to be quite a good actor.

“Man, that’s adorable. Especially because you two look like polar opposites.” Taehyung huffed and eyed both of them. “Yeonjun tries to look like some edgy bad boy while Taehyun looks like he just came back from visiting the Care Bears.” Taehyun looked down on himself and his big pastel mint coloured sweater. He’d been compared to a kindergartener but not yet to the Care Bears, which was honestly pretty adorable.

“That’s what I like so much about him!” Yeonjun had the biggest smile on his face. “He’s just so cute and soft! He’s also a member of our schools drama club, and when he’s on stage, he really shines bright!”

“And my Yeonjunnie Hyung…” When Taehyun said that it was really hard to not physically cringe. “He’s so much sweeter than you might think. He’s so caring and would protect me from anything. I think I’ve never fallen for someone so much in such a short time.” Taehyun sighed dramatically while looking deep into Yeonjuns pretty eyes. “He’s everything I could have ever hoped for.” His voice got a little more quiet towards the end, as if he was losing himself in the other boys eyes, and if he was honest, Yeonjuns eyes were quite mesmerising.

“That’s adorable and also absolutely disgusting.” Taehyung fondly smiled at the fake couple, taking a step back. "I'm glad everything went so smoothly for you, Yeonjun. Many people won't get over their ex that easily, especially not after a relationship of over, what was it, 9 months? Good you're doing fine. I'll get to work now, alright?" He bowed to Taehyun. "It was nice meeting you! You are always welcome here."

"Thank you so much!" Taehyun smiled back at him, then he left. And as soon as the two were sure that no one would hear them, the sighed simultaneous.

"Can't believe I really said that just now." Taehyun cringed. "'My Yeonjunnie Hyung', ugh."

"Hey, but that was really good! Like you really had some hearts in your eyes, I swear!" Yeonjun chuckled as he took a sip from his tea. "And the way you just busted out that 'Yeonjuns Boyfriend' thing without hesitation? You're the right one for this job, seriously. That was too good."

Now Taehyun also finally tried his hot chocolate too and was immediately overwhelmed by the sweetness and warmth of it, making him feel like he was going to heaven or something.

"You've got something-" Yeonjun pointed at his own upper lip. "Some chocolate or something…" Taehyun tried to wipe it away but seemingly failed to do so, because Yeonjun just started grinning wide. "No, on the other- Never mind, let me do it."

He grabbed a napkin, leaned forward to be able to come closer to Taehyuns face and softly wiped away the chocolate on his upper lip, slowly pulling his hand away and looking at Taehyuns lips for just another second before falling back into his chair and smiling fondly.

"There. All clean." Taehyun hesitated to even say anything. Damn. Yeonjun was already getting ready for his role as boyfriend, huh? Then, Taehyun decided to smile at him too.

"Thank you very much, beloved boyfriend."

"So we're official?"

"I guess." Taehyun sighed, clearly worried about the consequences of this decision, but by now he had accepted his fate. "So who confessed?"

"Huh?"

"We need a real backstory, in case anyone asks. If I want to play a role believably, I need to know as much about it as possible. Who confessed? Since when do we know each other? How did we even meet?"

"Well I'm not the best at thinking of backstories. How would someone like you and someone like me ever fall in love?"

"You confessed first."

"Huh?"

"If I did it, you would come off as desperate, dating the first person that asked you out, right? So it was you who asked me."

"Right. Yeah, you're right." Yeonjun scratched his head, thinking hard. "I first saw you at last years play. I was actually there with a friend because his sister was part of the play too, so that's believable. That's when I saw you and thought you were kinda cute but nothing more. And recently, I've been noticing you more again because you…" Yeonjun grinned. "You look very cute lately? Like maybe you randomly caught my eye again and…"

"We bumped into each other accidentally. Like in some bad movie, I kinda ran into you and you immediately fell in love. Because I was so cute and handsome. And I lost myself on your eyes so we just kind of looked at each other for a few seconds. Love at first sight. And every time you saw me after that incident, you fell deeper and deeper and then one day on a sunny Monday- so yesterday basically, you saw me after school and just asked, because I couldn't get out of your mind anymore."

"Because your pretty sparkly doe eyes and soft curly brown hair were just stuck in my head and your delicacy amazed me. Damn. We should work together on some cheesy romance story after this." Yeonjun started laughing, and Taehyun couldn't help but laugh with him.

Yeonjun was an interesting person. Not at all how he had expected. Who would have thought that the bad boy with heavy chains around his neck and a cold expression constantly resting on his face actually loved drinking sweet strawberry tea in an unknown little cafe run by three boyfriends and made up love stories on the spot?

"You said, you've never been in a relationship before, right?" Yeonjun swayed his tea cup around as he looked at Taehyun.

"Have I?"

"Yeah, earlier today, back in the bathroom. Are you ok with like… physical affection and all?"

Taehyun just shrugged.

"Hand holding and all? Or hugging? It's ok I guess, my best friend gets really touchy too, so I’m used to it."

"Yeah, I- I just don't wanna like, overstep any boundaries. So, like, if I ever do something that's off limits for you, just tell me."

"I guess don't make out with me?"

"Yeah, no." Yeonjun snorted. "I was not planning on doing that. Anything else?”

“Do what you want, I’ll tell you if it gets uncomfortable.” Taehyun shrugged again and smiled. “You’re very considerate.”

“Hey, all of this is already weird enough for you, right? I don’t wanna make you feel any worse. I know all of this is an act, but there still are boundaries you gotta respect as an actor.” Yeonjun chugged down the last of his tea.

“That means, everything’s settled? We’re fake boyfriends now?”

“Yep!” Yeonjun held out his hand and Taehyun took it for a handshake. “Thank you. And don’t worry. In a month or so, all of this is over again.” He let go of Taehyuns hand again and leaned back, pulling out his phone. “Let me take a pic of you.”

“Oh? Wh- why?”

“What boyfriend does not have a single picture of his loved one on his phone? Come on, pose for me!” Taehyun sighed, shifted around in his seat a bit, then smiled shyly at the camera. Yeonjun took the picture and chuckled.

“Adorable. Do you have Instagram?”

“Yeah, I can text you my username later.” Taehyun quickly finished his hot chocolate. “What are the prices here-” He wanted to reach for the menu, but Yeonjun stopped him.

“It’s fine, I’ll pay.”

“For real? Thank you-”

“It’s like the least I can do for you as a thanks. Also I’m pretty sure Jungkook would get mad at me if I don’t pay for my boyfriend.” Yeonjun slowly stood up. “I don’t want to rush you, but I gotta get home. We’ll see each other tomorrow?”

Taehyun now got up too, nodding. Jungkook, who was standing at the counter, seemed to notice them and approached them smiling.

“Are you guys done?”

“Yeah. I’m paying.”

“Ooh, no no! You know what, keep your money. Let’s celebrate this beautiful new young love, no need to pay anything!”

“Ah, Hyungie… You’re an angel!”

“I know~” Jungkook grinned at the two of them, patting both on the shoulder. “Have a nice day, you two! Hope, I’ll see you a few more times here, Taehyun! It was nice meeting you!”

“It was also nice meeting you, Jungkook Hyung! Thanks for the drinks!” Taehyun smiled as sweetly as he could, slightly bowing to Jungkook. The two of them waved goodbye to Jimin and Taehyung, then left the cafe together.

Outside, Taehyun sighed. He did it. He made it here, managed to sit together with Yeonjun and ended up becoming his new boyfriend. All that just so some stupid bullies would leave him, and most importantly, Kai, alone. And even though Yeonjun seemed to be a lot nicer than he had expected, there was still one thing that made Taehyun feel sick. Being openly gay. Then again, maybe it was a good chance to finally come out, he was never sure how to properly do it, so just… not really coming out at all and instead just being openly in love with his boyfriend was enough. Maybe that was even a way to come out to his family.

“Are you getting home safely?” Yeonjun asked, and Taehyun flinched, still being lost in thoughts.

“Oh. Yes, I’ll make it home. It’s like maybe half an hour away.”

“Nice. Then… Thanks again, I’ll see you tomorrow in school. Would you mind if I just picked you up during lunch break so I can introduce you to my friends first? You can check up with your friends after. We’ll see if we meet up after that again, you know, just to- let the school know.”

Taehyun slowly nodded.

“Alright. It’ll work out.” He noticed that Yeonjun smiled at him, as if he wanted to say sorry for dragging him into this whole mess. And Taehyun smiled back. “Well then. See you tomorrow, Hyung.” Another nod, then Taehyun turned around and calmly started walking away, while pulling out his phone to check the map.

It’ll work out. Just for a month. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here's my first full fic I post on here, huh?  
> It's already published up to chapter 9 on my Twitter (@/EternallyHyun) at the moment of writing this, and I thought, why no post it here too?
> 
> I hope you will enjoy! I'll be posting all the chapters I have already written on here in the next few days until I caught up!
> 
> I also now merged the prologue and chapter 1 due to issues with the numbering of chapters! The prologue would be shown as chapter 1, and so the ACTUAL chapter 1 would be marked as 2, and that would, uh- not really work out, so I deleted chapter 1 and merged it with the prologue now!


	2. Chapter 2

When the biology lesson ended, Kai had already fallen asleep on Taehyuns shoulder. He sighed and softly tapped on his best friends arm, trying to wake him up.

“Kai, it’s over. Come on, get up, I’m hungry.” Upon not waking up, Taehyun simply decided to throw his friend off his shoulder by aggressively shaking it, which resulted in Kai falling off and almost hitting his head on the table if he hadn’t woken up in time to stop himself.

“What’s over?” He rubbed his eyes and yawned, looking around like a confused puppy after his first night in a new home.

“Biology class.”

“Oh. Did I miss alot?”

“Well…” Taehyun began packing his stuff. “Only things very relevant to the exam we will write in three weeks.”

“But I can copy your notes, right?” Kai grinned, wanting to also pack his things, but he hadn’t even bothered to unpack them at the beginning of the class.

“You always copy my biology notes-”

“Because biology sucks!”

“I know…” Taehyun got up and grabbed his bag. “I’ll send the notes to you today. Let’s grab something to eat.” Just when the two wanted to step out of the classroom, Kai held him back.

“Let’s wait a little in here, please…”

“Why-” Kai pointed to the open door. Leaning on the wall next to the room was no other than Choi Yeonjun.

“Maybe we should wait until he’s gone, I don’t necessarily wanna walk past him today.”

Right. Taehyun had forgotten that he sent his schedule to Yeonjun yesterday so he could pick him up when the lunch break started.

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just go.” Taehyun dragged Kai further to the door, and Yeonjun noticed them. His face immediately lit up as he saw Taehyun.

“Oh god, no-” Kai already lowered his head as he always did when someone stronger than him approached.

“Kai, it’s fine, really, he-”

“Taehyun!” Yeonjun stopped a meter away from the door, waiting for Taehyun and his friend to exit the room. Taehyun smiled at his fake boyfriend, letting go of Kai, who looked back up again, almost in shock.

“Hey! Sorry, I completely forgot you wanted to pick me up after class-” Taehyun chuckled as he saw Kais confused expression. “Yeonjun and me have gotten, uhm- a little closer. Would you mind if I go with him really quick?” Kai furrowed his brows, scanning Yeonjun.

“I mean... Yeah, then I’ll go to the library and get some books I still need. Just, uhm… stay safe?” Despite his confusion, Kai started to smile wide again.

“Great. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria then.”

“Yup!” And with these words, Kai proceeded to make his way to the library, while Yeonjun and Taehyun headed into the opposite direction.

“So that was your friend? Sweet.”

“Yes, Kai. He’s adorable but he’s pretty scared of you.”

“Oh, that’s nice to know!” Yeonjun laughed, but then grew silent, and asked: “Are you going to tell him the truth?”

“Actually-” Taehyun hesitated. “Well… I think so. I’m gonna tell him. We can trust him, believe me.” Then he smiled, looking at his fake boyfriend encouragingly. Yeonjun looked at him too, then quickly glanced to the left and right once.

“Can I?” He lightly touched Taehyuns arm, indicating that he wanted to hold him. “There are some people around I know.” Taehyun quickly nodded.

“Sure, no need to ask. Go ahead.” And so, Yeonjuns hand slowly wandered to Taehyuns, softly holding it and interwinding their fingers. Taehyuns heart was racing, not because of Yeonjun though, but because all eyes were on them. Well, everyone always stared at Yeonjun, either in fear or admiration, and now everyone saw that he held the hand of this nerd so softly, smiling and talking to him- But it's fine, at least that was Taehyun tried to assure himself, it was fine. This was just like the stage. He was playing a role. He was used to something like this.

He was playing a role. And yet only Yeonjun and Taehyun himself knew about this role, everyone else was expecting the real Taehyun. Everyone knew, that he- Oh god. He nervously squeezed Yeonjuns hand.

"Are you ok? Is it too much?" Yeonjun almost let go of Taehyun but he instead tightened his grip.

"No no, Yeonjun, it's just hand holding, it's fine." Taehyun wanted to sound confident, yet his voice was slightly shaky. "It's just that-" He lowered his voice a little more, just to make sure that Yeonjun was the only one who could hear him in this already loud corridor. "It's the first time I'm really- openly… you know?"

"No? I don't know what are you-"

"People are now finding out I'm gay for the first time."

"Hold up." Yeonjun suddenly looked confused. "You're actually gay?"

"Are you serious right now?" Taehyun sighed. "Come on, did you expect a straight guy to just agree to fake dating you that quickly?" Yeonjun started laughing out loud, holding Taehyuns hand a little tighter.

"Aw fuck, you're right! Sorry, I didn't even consider. Ugh, shit-" Yeonjun seemed genuinely sorry, almost embarrassed. "So I kinda just forced you to come out, I should have-"

"Yeonjun, no." Taehyun pulled him just a little closer, smiling at him. "It's ok. It's scary but I think it's good to finally come out."

"I'm still feeling bad though. Like I took that decision when and how to do it away from you…"

"Hyung, calm down, it's fine!" Taehyun almost started giggling, surprised by Yeonjuns worried rambles. He hadn't even noticed how close they now were, shoulder on shoulder, fingers firmly intertwined. It already felt weirdly natural.

"Jun, jesus fucking christ, there you are!" A voice made Taehyun flinch. "And… a theatre nerd?" A boy with curly pink hair approached the two of them, scanning Taehyun and squinting. "Yeonjun, who's that?" That had to be one of Yeonjuns friends. Now the acting really began.

"Ah, can I explain later? With the others?" Yeonjun scratched his neck, grinning.

"Is he...? Are you...? Like you two...?" The pink haired boy smirked at them. "You guys are...?"

"Fuck off, Soobin, I told you, you'll find out later. I don't wanna explain this a thousand times to each of you fuckers individually."

"Fine, calm down! Can I at least know that tiny boys name?" Yeonjun sighed at Soobins request, then he looked at Taehyun and his annoyed expression immediately softened.

"Wanna tell him your name?" Taehyun smiled and quickly nodded.

"I'm Taehyun! Nice to meet you." Soobin snorted.

"Adorable. Then please hurry up a little, we're waiting for you in the cafeteria."

"Geez, I'm picking up my boyfriend from class once and y'all send someone to look for me? Seriously, how fucking impatient are you?" Yeonjun groaned, rolling his eyes.

"So you guys really are-"

"Keep your ass moving, Soobin!"

Without another word from Soobin or Yeonjun, they reached the cafeteria. When they entered the big room full of people, Taehyun felt like they were a soon to be married couple entering the church, all eyes glued on them, watching them walk through all these people until they finally reached the table all kinds of different, dangerous looking characters were sitting at. Some of them were immediately eyeing Taehyun, which resulted in him slightly pushing himself behind Yeonjun when they made halt in front of them.

"Where have you been, man, we-"

"Fuck off, I'm literally like 5 minutes late, okay?"

"But usually you're here first, don't you skip class before lunch-"

"I had something to do, ok? Literally what's wrong with y'all, I just had to pick him up." Yeonjun nodded in Taehyuns direction. Now every single pair of eyes were on him. He quickly looked up to Yeonjun for help, but he had put on his stone cold expression once again. Taehyun squeezed his fake boyfriends hand a little, and Yeonjun started to slowly caress the back of his hand with his thumb, as if he wanted to calm him down.

"And who exactly... is he?", a boy with black hair and a headband asked, furrowing his brows and leaned forward a bit, as if he couldn't see Taehyun properly.

"Right, Yeonjun! Tell us who he is!" Soobin grinned at his friend, then to the other people sitting at the table. Yeonjun sighed, then smirked proudly, ready to tell everyone about his new found love.

"Say hi to Kang Taehyun. My boyfriend." Silence. Then one girl spoke up.

"Already? But you and Hyunji-"

"Me and Hyunji are over and have been over long before the official breakup." Yeonjuns eyes turned into ice cold slits, glancing at the girl. "And you can tell her that."

"Taehyun, huh? For how long have you two been together?" The headband boy crossed his arms.

"Since Monday. Afternoon. Asked him out after school."

"You asked him out? Reject all these rich people who want you so desperately but ask out the shy one? Come on Yeonjun, you can't be for real." Headband boy shook his head.

"Maybe you just shut the fuck up for a second, Beomgyu." Headband boy laughed.

"Christ, you're a little too salty for my taste today, especially towards your favourite friend, hm?"

"Beomgyu… I'm serious about this. About him." Yeonjun looked at all these people sitting in front of him, looking at him in more or less disbelief. "I love him." For whatever reason, these words made Taehyuns heart skip a beat. No one had ever said that about him, and even though it was obviously just fake, it felt special.

"And I love you too." Taehyun said it loud enough for the others to hear, yet quiet enough to make him look shy and almost a little embarrassed about it. He looked up to his fake boyfriend, who immediately started smiling, seemingly as touched by the words as Taehyun was. One of his friends spoke up, actually smiling.

“Well we should be happy for you then, right? Sorry for being noisy, man. Didn’t expect this at all.”

“It’s ok, guys, just don’t be so fucking annoying next time. Like, I know it’s just been a few days but we are really…” Yeonjun now smiled at Taehyun, softly, lovingly and at the same time triumphant. For the others, this smile was a ‘I love my boyfriend’-smile, but Taehyun knew exactly that it meant something like ‘We are doing really damn great at making them think we’re actually in love’. Soobin, the pink haired boy, started cooing at them.

“Arg, just look at them… Jun looks so weirdly soft right now.” He smiled widely, his deep dimples showing. Yeonjun just sighed.

“Now get back to eating please. I just wanted to… You know. Tell you about him.” Yeonjun nodded to Taehyun and then glanced at his friends sitting at the table (and some also on the table). Most of them just shrugged, some actually smiled at him, and the girl from earlier looked at them in a way so disapproving, Taehyun was worried she’s actually jump at them, before also turning back to her food she had sitting in front of her.

Everyone was already minding their own business when Yeonjun sat down. Just two people still had their eyes on Taehyun. Soobin and the headband boy, Beomgyu.

“So you’re dating since monday and-” Beomgyu eyed Taehyun as he sat down closely next to Yeonjun after his fake boyfriend had offered him a seat. “You haven’t told me yet?” Beomgyu seemed seriously hurt, and Soobin shook his head, patting Beomgyus shoulder gently.

“I didn’t know either, Gyu. Maybe he just needed time.”

“But when you and Hyunji got together, you texted me a minute after or something. And we also were the first ones to know when you broke up, so why-”

“Actually, it was because of me!” Taehyun raised his voice slightly so that he had both boys’ attention. “I asked him to not say anything yet. He wanted to tell you, I promise.” Now even Beomgyus expression softened.

“Oh. Right, I- I get it.” Then he lowered his voice, probably not wanting Taehyun to hear him, he did nonetheless. “How did you get yourself a boy like this, he’s way too nice for you.”

“He’s perfect for me,” Yeonjun just mumbled.

Taehyun quickly scanned all the people sitting on the table, some of them were grinning at Taehyun when they noticed him looking, some probably didn’t even realise he was still there. And even though they all looked like the punks parents would warn their kids about, they didn’t seem to be any more dangerous than Yeonjun himself.

Then Taehyun noticed that the girl who had looked at them in a way you could almost call disgust now once again stared at them. He remembered how Yeonjun had told her to tell Hyunji about this, so she was probably friends with her. And she would surely tell her what she witnessed today, right? So it was time to act a bit more.

Yeonjun was talking to one of his friends, so Taehyun got a bit closer to him so that their arms touched. He then softly leaned his head on his fake boyfriends shoulder, who stopped talking to look at Taehyun, eyes filled with a bit of surprise. Taehyun just grinned and Yeonjun chuckled, putting his arm around him, pulling him just a little closer and continued to talk to his friend. Taehyun quickly checked if the girl was still staring, and yes, she was staring, had narrowed her eyes and glanced at them.

‘Go and tell that Hyunji about this, come on,’ Taehyun thought. For some reason Taehyun was now really into this story, he wanted to desperately know how Yeonjuns ex would react, what she would do, how her friends would act. He was weirdly intrigued, because of course, he wanted to see how Yeonjuns plan worked out.

He had leaned on Yeonjun for a few minutes now and Yeonjun still had his arm around him, occasionally caressing his shoulder, while still talking to his friends. Taehyun didn’t bother listen to his conversations, he was just leaning there, just doing nothing really, other than showing his fake love for his fake boyfriend. Yet when he saw someone walking through the doors of the cafeteria, he lifted his head.

“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun looked at him as he slowly pulled away his arm. Too bad, it was really comfortable to be honest.

“Kai is here. I don’t want to leave him alone, so-”

“Oh, sure!” Yeonjun now also spotted the boy who just had entered the cafeteria. “Go ahead. If you need something, you know where I am.” Taehyun giggled and then stood up.

“See you later, Hyung.” He turned and walked towards Kai, who had spotted his friend already.

“Tyun, I think we need to have a talk.” Kai seemed to sound serious, but his pout basically just made him look like a very big baby. Taehyun furrowed his brows.

“Oh? About what?”

“Let’s sit down first, ok? And then, serious talk.” And so they did, sitting down on the same table as every day, and Kai stared at Taehyun, looked him in the eyes, leaned closer to look him even deeper in the eyes and then inhaled deeply.

“You and Choi Yeonjun.”

“Oh.”

“You are- you’re boyfriends, right?” Kai looked at him with big, questioning eyes. Taehyun didn’t know how to answer, instead looked over to the table Yeonjun was sitting at, now almost looking lonely with the empty seat besides him.

“We-”

“I’m really happy, Tyun.”

“What?”  
“I’m happy. You deserve it. I don’t know how and when it happened, and why it’s Yeonjun out of all people, but I’m happy. You really deserve someone who loves you like that. I know that you only had me for years and years, I’m still wondering how you’re not sick of me yet, and I think it’s gonna be really good for you to be with different people. Just stay safe, ok? You know that these people aren’t the nicest. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.” Taehyun just stared at Kai. He wanted to tell him the truth, he really wanted to say that all of this was fake, but-

These warm, loving sparkles in his eyes, the excited smile on his lips, it all just made Taehyun want to lie, and pretend like it was real. He did it for Kais safety to begin with, so why not also do it for his happiness and excitement. So Taehyun just smiled at his best friend, at his best and only friend, at his soulmate.

“Thank you. Really, thank you so much. I- I don’t even really know what to say if I’m honest, you’re just so- I’m really thankful I have you. Also I don’t get sick of you, you’re literally my soulmate!” Taehyun laughed, the thought that he’d ever get sick of Kai was ridiculous to him. He and Kai had been friends for years, and even though he was loud and sometimes annoying, so was Taehyun. And he could never, ever get sick of him.

Taehyun enjoyed Kais big smile, but it suddenly disappeared and he lowered his head out of nowhere. Like he always did when- Taehyun turned around. Not again.

A bunch of boys were approaching them, all significantly taller and stronger than Taehyun. They were already grinning, eyes on Taehyun. Not again.

“My favourite nerds! Love meeting you here!” The tallest one laughed as he made halt in front of their table. He looked down at Taehyun, grinning at him so disgustingly, raising his chin. Taehyun did not show a single expression, his face was frozen once again, yet his heart was racing.

“Come on, why such a look on your face? Did we interrupt you? Practicing for your little role play or something? Wanna act for us maybe?” Taehyun was breathing slowly and steadily. It was fine. Just as always, I’d be over soon. He wanted to slowly turn around again and simply proceed to ignore the boys. But this time he wouldn’t be able to just ignore. Not this time.

“Fucking answer me, shithead!” The guy grabbed him by the shoulder and Taehyun immediately flinched. He violently turned him around and almost picked him up from his seat which caused Taehyun to stand up now, slightly tumbling as the guy pulled on his shirt.

“You know what, you annoy me today. Not sure why, you just annoy me. You never answer me. That really fucking annoys me.” The guy came uncomfortably close to his face and Taeyhun smelled smoke and sweat coming from him. He wanted to say something or push him or do anything, but instead he chose to turn his head around as much as possible and just close his eyes, to not respond.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing right now, Kiwoon.” Taehyuns eyes fluttered open as he heard the familiar voice. His heart started pounding. Yeonjun. Thank god, Yeonjun.

“Just having a little talk with my good friend, that’s all.” The jock, Han Kiwoon, chuckled in the ugliest way possible.

“Get your dirty fucking fingers off of him right now.” Yeonjuns voice was clearly angry, and yet calm and clear, determined, and threatening, god, he sounded threatening. “Right fucking now,” he demanded, and Kiwoon finally let go of Taehyun. Taehyun stumbled away from him in Yeonjuns direction.

“What the fuck is your problem today, Choi?” Kiwoon hissed, staring at Yeonjun who came a few steps closer to Taehyun, checking if he was ok.

“You are my problem, Han. You better stay the fuck away from Taehyun. I promise you, I’ll break every single one of your fingers if you lay one of them on my boyfriend ever again.” A smile appeared on Yeonjuns face so proud, strong and intimidating. He put his hand on Taehyuns waist, and pulled him close to him as softly as possible, as if he didn’t want him to move or get pushed too hard after being literally picked up Kiwoon earlier.

“Boyfriend? Oh I see, now that fucking nerd is a f-”

“If you say one more word, I’ll crash your ugly shitface into a table until you can count the remaining teeth in your mouth on one hand.” People around them started gasping and whispering. Taehyun only now realised that the whole cafeteria fell quiet and watched the fight between the Demon King and the Number One Smelling Bully Jock.

“You’re really talking to me like that?” Kiwoon tried his best to come off as tough, and yet he stepped back, clearly intimidated.

“I am. And I’m fucking serious. Come close to him or his friends one more time and I’ll-” Taehyun noticed how the grip around his waist tightened. Yeonjun was angry. He was really, really damn angry. And it was scary as hell, especially considering that just yesterday, the two sat in a cozy little cafe drinking fruity tea and sweet chocolate, and now, all of the sudden, Taehyun met the Yeonjun everyone else knew. The one most people were afraid of. And god, he was scary.

"And you'll...? You'll do what?" Kiwoon grinned at Yeonjun, or at least he tried, because it was clear that he too was terrified.

"You don't want to know. You really don't fucking want to know." Yeonjuns voice was completely calm, and his smile was darker and more grim than ever. Then he looked at Taehyun. "Let's go." Taehyun quickly glanced to the spot Kai had been sitting before, he was now accompanied by Beomgyu and Soobin. Taehyun then nodded, mouthed a quick 'later' to Kai, and started walking out with Yeonjun.

As soon as they had left the cafeteria and had crossed a few hallways, Yeonjun let go of Taehyuns waist and sighed.

"Are you ok?" He quickly checked on Taehyun, his voice was slightly trembling, probably out of anger.

"I'm fine. I-" Taehyun exhaled, slightly rubbing the shoulder Kiwoon had previously grabbed. "Thank you."

"You're not hurt? Is your shoulder ok?"

"It's all good."

"It's not.

"For real, it's ok, Hyung."

"What a fucking bastard." Yeonjun groaned, leaning against a wall as if he needed stability because he'd just break away otherwise. "What the actual fuck, you didn't fucking do anything and he just-? What was his business?"

"I've been asking that myself for years." Taehyun leaned on the wall just next to Yeonjun, crossing his arms and looking up to the ceiling.

"Years? Has he been doing this for years?"

"Not just him. A bunch of people have. And never like… never like this. They usually throw the same five insults at you and leave again. And maybe they throw stuff at you or make you trip in the hallways, one time they hid my textbooks, but that's it. Ignoring them usually helps."

"Were you scared just now?"

"Huh?" Taehyun looked at Yeonjun who now just started looking… guilty? "Maybe. Kind of."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For-" Yeonjun hesitated. "I don't really know. But I'm sorry."

"You apologize a lot to me." Yeonjun didn't answer. Instead he looked down the hallways and his face slightly lit up.

"Jun, you good?" Soobin came hurrying down the hallway, followed by Beomgyu and, surprisingly, Kai.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I." Yeonjun crossed his arms and straightens his back.

"Dude, Kiwoon wants to fucking kill you, are you aware of that?" Beomgyu stopped in front of his friend, looking back down the hallway as if he was to check if someone followed them, but the only other person that was there right now was Kai, who almost jumped at Taehyun and hugged him for a second.

"I'd love to see him try." Yeonjun huffed. "I'll rip out his guts if I have to." Weird how he had once again changed from looking like felt sorry or guilty to being so damn scary and intimidating in the matter of seconds.

"If you're starting a war with him now, you're done. You can't have Hyunjis and Kiwoons friends against you, Jun." Soobin looked concerned.

"And the homophobes! You can't forget the homophobes, they hate you too now, knowing that you have a boyfriend," Beomgyu added, waving with his arms as if he had to lead the attention to him.

"They're too scared to fuck with me. They can try but y'all know they wouldn't dare to touch me. Let's get moving." Yeonjun turned to Taehyun again, seemingly not sure what exactly to do to say goodbye to his fake boyfriend in a believable way. "I'll talk to you later?" He smiled, and even though it was obvious he was still mad, his smile towards Taehyun was genuine.

"Yes. Thank you again." Taehyun smiled back, then, before Yeonjun was able to turn around and leave, pulled him into a hug. He knew Yeonjun wasn't sure of how much Taehyun was comfortable with, so he has to be the one to initiate most things until Yeonjun knew that it was ok to, well, act.

When Taehyun let go, he grinned. Yeonjun looked at him, with an expression that was hard to tell, maybe something like surprise. When Taehyun nodded, he turned away and finally left. Taehyun then turned to Kai, who had been standing next to him all this time.

"Are you ok?"

"Me? Are you ok, Tyun? What even happened there, are you hurt, did that Han-Fucker hurt you?" Hearing a curse coming out of Kais mouth was really rare, it sounded unfamiliar and weird, and Taehyun almost flinched as he heard it.

"I'm fine, I was just a little… in shock."

"Me too…" Kai lowered his head. "I got really scared when he approached so I couldn't even talk or move properly when he grabbed you- I'm sorry." God, why was everyone apologizing to Taehyun today, when nobody even did anything wrong? "I should have helped you."

"No, Kai, it's fine, it's alright! Yeonjun was there to help, right?"

"But what would have happened if he wasn't there? I should be able to protect you too, right? I want to protect you."

"Even though I'm older than you?"

"Only by a few months, but I'm still twice as tall as you." The old, well known grin was back on Kais face. "But seriously. I should have acted differently. Both he and his weird jock followers were only focused on you and honestly, I should have used that to act and help you."

“But were you safe?” Taehyun furrowed his brows. “Did anyone say something to you?”

“No, no… first these two guys Yeonjun was with approached me but they’re nice, they just sat there and smiled at me stupidly once or twice. I think Yeonjun told them to stay with me.”

“Yeah... “ Taehyun thought back to the promise Yeonjun had made to him. “I asked him to take care of both of us.”

“You did?” Despite Kai actually having to look down to look Taehyun in the eyes, he suddenly appeared much smaller now, just in the way… his face looked, eyes bright and sparkly and full of love. “You just got together with your very first boyfriend ever and still decided to… think about me?”

Well. Yes. Because in the end, all of this was just for Kai. Taehyun had agreed to all of this just for Kai. And even though he realised that this fake relationship might give him a few more benefits, his main goal was to gain respect in this school so he and Kai would finally be left alone.

“I always think about you.” Taehyun smiled. “Shall we go practice for theatre class?” Kai nodded, also smiling, and putting his arm around his friend, his best friend, his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! A disclaimer: Kiwoon is one of the Original Characters in this story. Whenever you hear a name that does not belong to a TXT or BTS member, it's someone made up. Just so you're aware ^^
> 
> Thank you for reading and I apologize for any inconvenience due to me deleting the original chapter 1 (which is now merged with the prologue).


	3. Chapter 3

Beomgyu groaned as the ball fell to the ground, once again getting nowhere near the basketball hoop.

“Jesus, Beomgyu, just give up already, this is miserable to watch!" Yeonjun rolled his eyes as he watched his best friend pick up the ball once again.

"I'm just really out of shape, ok? I haven't done this in a while."

"I don't think we have the time or patience to watch you get back in shape now, Gyu…" Soobin sat on the roof of the little shelter that was full of graffiti, watching Beomgyu in annoyance just like Yeonjun did. "Pass me something to drink instead." He pointed at the bag full of drinks, mainly coke and beer.

"You'll have to get down to grab it tho, I'm not throwing you a bottle up there." Beomgyu took out a bottle of beer and opened it, holding it up for Soobin to see. Soobin grunted.

"Right, I forgot that you're a literal garden gnome. I'm not coming down here, it was annoying enough to get up. Keep it."

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Drink it."

"Very funny." Beomgyu looked at the bottle in slight disgust. He was technically old enough to drink, but despised alcohol for some reasons unknown, even beverages with barely any alcohol in it, like beer for example.

"But for real, pass me all the bags and get your asses up here." Soobin patted the places next to him. Beomgyu sighed as he passed Yeonjun the bottle, who then gave it to Soobin since he was actually able to reach him sitting on top of this shelter, then more or less gently threw the bags the three had with them on the roof too until he started climbing up there, followed by Beomgyu. The two sat down next to Soobin, and Yeonjun laid his eyes on the beautiful yet somewhat lonely looking scenery in front of him.

Like so often after school, the three friends had come to their favourite place. An abandoned pool, drained of all water, being slowly taken back by mother nature herself, moss and plants growing all over it, sprayed with some more or less artistic graffiti. Some people had already used this place as trash dump, though the stuff they had bought here were more like a treasure for the three boys; there were a few car tires, which serves as great seats, though there also were two actual chairs, and one person had even dumped a whole fucking shopping cart here.

Not only was there an empty pool with a bunch of treasures, but also a little shelter, pretty tiny but nice to sit on, or, in case it started raining, to sit under (even though Soobin was actually the only one giving a shit about the rain in constant fear his hair dye would just start streaming down his face). They had a basketball hoop, which especially Yeonjun loved using.

But Yeonjuns favourite part about this place was the emptiness and secrecy of it. It was hidden somewhere in a forest, and the three of them had found it maybe two years ago. They hadn't told anyone about this place, kept it a secret. It was their own little magical world. It was eery, quite scary actually, but beautiful. Everything here was quiet. Everything belonged to them. And they'd come here whenever they could, bringing snacks and drinks and then stayed there until long past midnight. And today was hopefully one of those days where they'd sit here and only leave when one of them was about to fall asleep.

"So…" Beomgyu was opening a bottle of beer for Yeonjun and a coke for himself. "Since you didn't properly tell us before… Care to explain now?" 

"Explain what?" Yeonjun took a sip from his beer and honestly, it was lowkey disgusting, but that made it so endearing, right?

"Uhm? How the fuck you got your hands on a boyfriend?"

"Right, uhm-" Yeonjun remembered how Taehyun had said that he didn't want Yeonjun to tell his friends yet when Beomgyu asked this exact question earlier that day. "What… do you wanna know?"

"Not much, just… How on earth did you meet, how did you _fall in love_ , for how long already, how did you confess, how could you be sure he wasn't straight, just… How the fuck did this all happen?"

“Right… Ok, how do I start…” Yeonjun narrowed his eyes, thinking. He hadn’t planned out that much of a backstory, but it would be fine, he could just come up with the details on the spot. “Actually the very first time I noticed him was like, last year. When I went to the play with Soobin.”

“Oh, yeah, I dragged you there because my sister was playing!” Soobin remembered.

“He had a major role and to be honest, I thought he was kinda cute but let’s say I thought nothing more of it? When it went downhill with Hyunji, I started noticing him more. Then, last week, we pretty much ran into each other and uh…” Yeonjun grinned. “What can I say. I’ve never seen lips this beautiful.” It felt weird saying that but it _was_ somewhat true, Taehyun had really pretty lips, full and peachy.

“Now watch him say something like ‘And I wanted to taste these lips so badly’-” Soobin stared at his bottle of beer in disgust, probably wasn’t very fond of the taste either.

“I don’t say shit like this, come on.” Yeonjun huffed.

“But you’re thinking it.”

“Wh- No?”

“Why are you blushing then?”

“Am I?” Yeonjun touched his own cheek, as if to check if he was actually getting red.

“Nah, but it’s fun to clown you.” Soobin grinned at him. “But your ears _are_ a little redder than usual!”

“Shut the fuck up, am I not allowed to blush over my boyfriend anymore?” Yeonjun groaned, taking a sip from that icky beer.

"I encourage you to blush about your boyfriend, but please at least tell me how all of this happened while doing so," Beomgyu bugged him, waiting for all the secrets to be revealed.

"Fine calm down… So… I guess it was love on first sight. I bumped into him and he said sorry and… That was just- so cute?" It definitely felt quite awkward saying all of this without Taehyun being there and approving of his faked gushing. "I couldn't stop thinking about him. So I just thought 'fuck it' and asked him out on Monday. I saw him after school, the sun was already setting, it was an awfully romantic atmosphere and so I just came up to him when I was sure nobody was around and asked him. He said yes."

"How could you be sure he’s into guys though? I'm pretty sure I've never seen him participate in any… gay activities, you get me?" Beomgyu chuckled as the words 'gay activities' left Soobins mouth.

"I just felt it." Yeonjun grinned. "My gaydar never fails me." Now this was a blatant lie, it failed him hard, because he hadn't even thought about Taehyun actually being gay. Now that he thought about it, he should have known. What straight guy would _ever_ say yes to a plan like this?

"And he just said yes? Just like that?" Beomgyu furrowed his brows. God, he got kinda annoying by now.

"Yeah, just like that. Guess it was a miracle."

"And you're sure he didn't just say that because he was intimidated by you?"

"Come on, Gyu, just fuck off already. You've seen how close they get, do you really think he'd act like this if he was scared by Yeonjun?" Soobin hissed, looking like he was about to pour beer on his friend.

" _Act_ , Soobin. He's been part of the drama club for years. I'm pretty sure he can adapt to any role by now." Silence. Yeonjun was shocked. Because Gyu was right in a sense. None of this was real, Taehyun was faking all of this. But so was Yeonjun. Yet, he had to disagree with his friend. He had to pretend like every second of holding hands and fondly looking into each others eyes was real.

"Don't say shit like this. Come on. He loves me." Yeonjun stared at the bottle in his hands, slowly swaying it. "And I love him." It was kinda hard to say these words.

"Sorry, I just- I'm worried. This seems fishy. You just got out of a 9 month long relationship, I don't want you to end up heartbroken again." Beomgyu sighed, as if he felt guilty for not trusting Taehyun.

"I'm not heartbroken." Yeonjun was quick to argue. "Hyunji didn't break my heart. Technically you couldn't even call her the one who broke up, it was pretty mutual, she was just the first one to officially say it. You know it was already kinda hopeless between us for like two months. We only stayed together for our reputation. There's no heartbreak involved in this." He sighed. "Or at least there was no heartbreak _after_ our breakup." No, not during the breakup, but when he realized how he had fallen out of love with his girlfriend, and how she started caring less and less about Yeonjun and more about their reputations as the couple that owned the school. That hurt him. That was a time where he struggled to keep up that strong and intimidating wall with Hyunji when he actually just wanted to be free from her and the pain she brought him. The breakup was more healing than painful, it was freeing. And yet pressured him.

Because that stupid relationship ended with an argument, with a 'You're gonna be a nobody without me' and a 'It's your fault I lost interest in you' and a bunch of stupid phrases until she finally said 'It's over' and Yeonjun felt so relieved, and yet hurt in his pride by what Hyunji had said. And so all of this happened.

Thank god there wouldn't be the same problem once Taehyun and him broke up, in approximately a month or so. They'd nicely say "Oh, our time's up! Let's break up!" and then they'd stay away in public, announcing it later to whoever was curious. And they could go back to their single life and try to find actual love if they wanted to. Yeonjun was once again incredibly proud of this genius plan.

"Yeonjun…" Beomgyu leaned his head on his best friends shoulder. "You know I just want the best for you. And for some reason I feel like Taehyun isn't going to be the best."

"He is, trust me. This is going to be working out just well."

"Yeonjun knows what he's talking about. We should trust him, right?" Now Soobin was leaning on Yeonjuns other shoulder.

"Right," Beomgyu sighed. “I’ll have an eye on you though.” Yeonjun smiled.

“Thank god I have you two.”

“Thank god we have _you_.” Beomgyus voice sounded tired. Yeonjun quickly glanced to his friend who had indeed now closed his eyes.

God, if anyone from school would ever see them here… Yeonjun maybe gave his best to look intimidating and dangerous in school, but with his two best friends he was incredibly touchy and soft. It wasn’t like it was embarrassing for him to show his love towards his friends, it just didn’t quite… fit his image. It wouldn’t feel natural to play with Soobins cheeks or hold Beomgyus face or cling to them all day in public. Especially because these two were the only ones he ever got this close to physically, knowing both of them for years. Of course, he also gotten close to his ex, but Hyunji and him were only really touchy in the first two months of their relationship or so, it died down after that.

Yeonjun wondered how it would go with Taehyun, at least in public, they’d probably barely meet in private. Of course they had to be as close to each other as possible, but Yeonjun was kinda worried about being too much or making Taehyun uncomfortable, even though he had stated that almost everything would be fine, because it’s just an act. Taehyun was mostly even the first one to hug or lean on him. Maybe they could talk about all of this again, one more time, so Yeonjun could be absolutely sure what was ok and what wasn’t. For now, hand holding and kinda cuddling and holding each other was realistic enough. But in the future, maybe they had to be even more obvious, maybe-

Would Taehyun be comfortable with a kiss? Would _Yeonjun_ be comfortable with a kiss? Taehyun said no making out, which he obviously wasn’t going to do, but what about a kiss, a single simple kiss when everyone was watching, quick and innocent and sweet, just to shut some people up that were still doubting the validity of this relationship? A tiny peck on Taehyuns peachy lips? Yeonjun exhaled as the thought of Taehyun carefully coming closer to his face to kiss him crossed his mind, not knowing if he would consider this a pleasant thought or an awkward one, but probably the latter.

“Geez, Yeonjun, why the fuck is your face the colour of a tomato right now-” Soobin snorted as he lifted his head to look at his friend.

“Oh, you’re fucking with me-” Yeonjun groaned, being sure that Soobin was once again just joking but he then realized that his cheeks were actually burning.

“No, for real, what’s making you blush like this out of nowhere?” Soobin started laughing as he watched Yeonjun touch his ears only to notice how warm they were.

“Fuck you, it’s nothing…” Yeonjun sighed and took a sip from his beer once again. “That shit tastes like ass.” He held up the bottle up to the sun that was now setting, spending orange light, turning everything around them into honey and gold.

"You're whipped." Soobin giggled.

"For the beer? I said it tastes like ass-"

"No you clown, for Taehyun."

"What?" Yeonjun put down the bottle again, eyeing his friend in confusion.

"You were thinking about him, weren't you? And that's why you're blushing." Yeonjun wanted to disagree but first of all, he should probably say yes because it was quite normal for someone in a fresh relationship to think about their partner and secondly, it was true. Jesus fuck, Yeonjun really started blushing like crazy because he thought about kissing Taehyun. That was… embarrassing.

"I'm happy for you, really." Soobin smiled at Yeonjun fondly, a smile that had always given power and comfort to Yeonjun for the past ten years. "I think he fits you well. You two are going to stay together for a long time I think." Yeonjun smiled back at his best friend, and suddenly a wave of guilt overcame him. In only a month all if it would be over. And Soobin would be the only one to end up heartbroken.

"Also you're right, this bullshit tastes like absolute shit…" Soobin took one more sip from the beer before he flipped the bottle around and poured it all from the roof of the small shelter onto ground. Yeonjun started laughing which caused Beomgyu to now also lift his head and rub his eyes.

"Good morning, wanna take a shower?" Soobin dangerously waved his bottle that was now almost empty in front of Beomgyus face.

"Fuck off, get away from me," Beomgyu grunted.

"Did you fall asleep?" Yeonjun started wheezing.

"Urg, yeah, I guess, I didn't sleep much last night-" Beomgyu rubbed his eyes once again. "Love me some fucking insomnia."

"Should we head home then?" Soobin put the now empty bottle into one of the bags and grinned at his friend.

"Yeah… let's go."

"Already? The sun is just setting!" Yeonjun whined, but he saw how tired Beomgyu looked and knew that that boy had a lot of trouble sleeping lately so it would be best to leave now. "Alright, let's get down here then."

The three climbed down the roof and packed up their stuff, picking up any garbage they might have left, then climbed over the broken fence that surrounded this whole area, making their way home through the woods.

  
  


Yeonjun laid on his bed, hadn't bothered to get dressed in some comfier clothes yet, was instead just scrolling through social media while completely ignoring his responsibilities and school work. There was nothing new though, even after refreshing Twitter for the tenth time in one minute and still only seeing Soobin cry over some chinese drama on his timeline, Yeonjun put his phone away to think about how to avoid doing his homework now. He rolled over in his bed, thinking about any Netflix Series he had yet to watch or maybe rewatch, maybe he should finally give in and watch Death Note after Beomgyu had annoyed him with it for months, no, actual years now.

But before he could even think about anything else to do, his phone buzzed. Yeonjun checked the screen and saw a new message, surprisingly from… Taehyun?

**_Taehyun_ **

_yo_

Yeonjun smiled. 'Yo' sounded so oddly cute, considering it came from Taehyun.

_what's up_

_can I ask you for a favor?_

_welp_

_depends_

_what favor_

_funny story_

_my family doesn't know I'm gay right_

_so I thought now that I have a bf_

_it would be a good time to come out_

_so I'll tell them soon aaaaand_

_i'm invited for family dinner?_

_well my mom always promised to invite my future girlfriend for dinner_

_soooo_

_i'm in_

_wait, really?_

_yeah???_

_hello???? free food???_

_that's hella sexy come on_

_my sister is kind of noisy though_

_she’ll ask all kinds of questions_

_so we need to come up with answers before_

_welp we can do that_

_it'll be fun :D_

_fun, right_

_anyways thanks_

_I'll tell you more when_

_you know_

_take your time tho_

_do it when you're ready_

_n good luck with coming out n all_

_yes_

_thank you_

_no prob Bob <3 _

**_…_ **

_right._

_ </3 _

'Read', Yeonjun huffed. His fake boyfriend really left him heartbroken and on read, huh? Yet he was happy Taehyun trusted him enough to let him meet his family. If Yeonjum was in his shoes, he would have probably come up with any excuse to not let his family meet him. After all, Yeonjun wasn't exactly the perfect son-in-law. And he never tried to be, meeting Hyunjis parents was an absolute disaster, especially because her dad was the cop Beomgyu had insulted just a few days before while Yeonjun was with him. And he recognized him. That was an awkward fucking experience.

But for Taehyun it would be different. Yeonjuns goal for meeting his family was to not fuck it up. Which might be hard, since Yeonjun was a professional in the field of 'fucking things up', but for once, he'd try not to.

Yeonjun stared at his phone. Taehyun hadn't responded, left him on read, and Yeonjun was still bored as hell. So why not try to chat with him a bit more? Just getting to know him would surely help their acting.

  
  


**_Taehyun_ **

_dont leave me on read like that……._

_lol_

_don't you have homework to do or something?_

_noooo_

_yeah_

_but noooooo_

_i don't wanna do homework_

_understandable_

_but if you don't do them now you'll have to do them last minute and then you'll be stressed :/_

_i could also just???_

_not do my homework at all??_

_lmao_

**_…_ **

_dont "..." me_

_you're gonna leave me on read again huh_

_stoooop i'm bored_

_why are you so clingy??_

_you're like kai_

_I can't handle 2 clingy babies at once_

_BABIES??_

_i'm no baby >:(( _

Yeonjun actually started laughing at the thought of Taehyun, of all people, calling him a baby, when he was so much smaller and softer and sweeter and more like the real baby.

  
  


_but you're acting like one_

_i'm noooot_

_you're peak babie right now_

_have you ever even LOOKED at me?_

_do i look like???_

_i'm babie????_

_you certainly act like babie_

_when you're not around your friends at least_

_you really have the audacity to call me babie_

_when YOU, sir_

_are out here LOOKING like babie_

_with your sparkly eyes and delicate body and pastel coloured sweater and curly hair and soft hands_

Yeonjun hit send, and wanted to take it back right after, being scared that it might have been too much, yet Taehyun responded as chill as ever.

_oh_

_well thank you?_

_I would consider myself._

_…_

_you know._

_say it._

_no_

_s a y i t._

_I_

_I'm babie_

_LMAOOOOOO_

_yes you are_

_pfff_

_okay I know you don't do homework_

_but I still have stuff to do_

_and do some tutoring because_

_SOMEONE decided to sleep through biology class._

_you're leaving me :(_

_yes._

_i'm still bored tho??_

_don't you have…_

_idk, friends or something?_

  
  


_yeah but maybe i wanna spend time with my_

_b o y f r i e n d ? ?_

_uuuuh_

_well your_

_b o y f r i e n d_

_has to help his friend with biology now so_

_sorry but Kai is number one babie_

_kai first, kai second, living third._

_that's actually so fucking cute omg_

_i wish someone would love me like that_

_but all my friends hate me :(_

_this is so sad 🎻_

_you're really clowning me._

_I am_

_you look so soft and cute but are actually just_

_mean_

_can you got two minutes without calling me soft._

_KSJSJSJSJJS_

_no_

_because you are_

_also your hands are super soft_

_i'm shocked by their softness_

_well then I'll make sure to keep them soft for you_

_aaAh_

_alright enough of that lol_

_I'll go help Kai for real now_

_i think he's about to cry I can't let that happen!_

_:((((_

_alright_

_say hi to Kai from me <3 _

_lol sure_

_see you tomorrow_

_yeah!_

'Read', once again. Yeonjun smiled at his phone. Who would have thought that this shy little nerd was so easy to talk to? And so funny? And not weirded out by his jokes? And so- flirty? Was he flirty at times? He was definitely really into this role, or who knows, maybe it was the real Taehyun who simply liked to tell people that he'll keep his hands soft for them and call them 'his babies', maybe that was a part of his quite mysterious but so far incredibly endearing personality.

Yeonjun scrolled through the chat again, grinning. Taehyun had opened up so easily, he wouldn't have expected that to happen. But he was happy about it. Maybe this month wouldn't just be 'two strangers fake dating' but 'two friends fooling the whole town’.

Yeonjun put his phone away again. Now what to do? Taehyun had no time for him anymore, Beomgyu was probably sleeping by now. Yeonjun rolled over once again and gazed at his bag. Maybe doing homework for the only class he didn’t regularly skip, Philosophy, would be a good idea now. Yeah, doing homework for once… Yeonjun huffed as he got out of bed to grab his school stuff. Taehyun really made him do homework for the first time in like nine months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm really supposed to write into these notes ahaaha anyways here's the 3rd chapter!
> 
> thank you for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4

Yeonjun checked the time and then looked up to his friends, who were sitting on a wall kind of hidden behind a bunch of bushes, either smoking or on their phone. This wall was usually the place they hung out when they were skipping class and didn’t want to leave the school grounds entirely. It was well hidden behind some bushes, the perfect place to store cigarettes, alcohol and sometimes joints, and even though Yeonjun didn't smoke and also didn't like to drink during school, some people in his gang did.

"You guys, imma pick up Taehyun again in a few minutes. I'm also not gonna eat with you. I'll spend some time with him." Most of the people listening just nodded, Soobin actually cooed at him.

"Don't be too touchy with him tho." One of Yeonjuns friends, Min, put their cigarette down and grinned. "Hyunji knows everything that happened yesterday."

"Wait, for real? Like everything?" Min nodded.

"Yeah, one of her besties was sitting with us, right? She told her  _ everything _ , and Hyunji is fucking pissed. I saw her. It was hilarious!" They grinned at Yeonjun. "I think she said you're just using him and are not in love because apparently you never really were into guys that much?"

"Well, I've always told her that I don't fall in love with boys but the turns have tabled and I'm now in love with my boyfriend." Yeonjun crossed his arms, smirking.

"Guess you'll have to convince her first, she looked really pissed yesterday." Min seemed to be really amused by the reactions they got to see yesterday.

"I don't have to convince anyone, I know for myself that Taehyun is a perfect boyfriend." Yeonjun shrugged, acting as if he didn't give a shit about what other people thought of their relationship when  _ that _ was the most important thing about this whole fake dating. The goal was to convince everyone around them to think that this was 100% real.

"You better hurry up then!" Beomgyu lowered his book or whatever he was reading to look at Yeonjun. "His classes end in like 5 minutes."

"Right, I'll get going then."

"Are we meeting after the break again?" Now Soobin put his phone down.

"Ah, no, I'll go to class."

"Philosophy class, right?" Soobin chuckled. "That's the only class you never miss."

"It's the only class I'm ever interested in. Also, I did my homework this time, so-" Yeonjun grinned, then picked up his bag. "We'll see each other later then?" His friends, at least those that were still paying attention to him, nodded.

"If you see Hyunji on the way, tell me if she said anything! I love seeing her pissed!" Min winked at Yeonjun, putting out their cigarette.

"I will, promise!" Yeonjun then snuck away from their good old meeting point and made his way to the school building.

Yeonjun arrived just in time for the lessons to end. Taehyun and Kai just left their classroom when they spotted Yeonjun. Taehyun immediately turned his annoyed and tired look into a bright smile when he saw his fake boyfriend.

"Hey there!" He pulled Yeonjun into a hug, and once again, Yeonjun was a little surprised, but of course he immediately put his arms around Taehyun.

"Hey~" He wanted to give Taehyun some weird nickname but thought that it might be too awkward if they didn't talk about it first. "How was english class?"

"Really boring. Both me and Kai are pretty much fluent so it's annoying that some people still don't know the basics and we're going over them constantly again." Taehyun sighed and Kai looked just as bored as him.

"Fluent in English, of course, my genius fluently speaks english… what else are you good at?" Yeonjun emphasized the  _ my _ to make sure it was clear for everyone around (that meant just Kai, he really was the only one around listening) that the two of them belonged together.

"You two have fun with whatever you're doing now!" Kai excitedly smiled at them. "I'll do my homework for math now!"

"That means you're going to copy my homework I gave you." Taehyun chuckled as his best friend nodded, waving at them, and then left.

"So!" Taehyun looked at his fake boyfriend and linked their arms. "What are we doing?"

"A friend of mine just told me something spicy, they said to me that my ex knows about all of this and is  _ furious _ . She thinks I'm just using you though and that I'm not actually in love with you."

"The  _ audacity  _ to think that we're not in love when my acting is this convincing!" Taehyun huffed and pulled Yeonjun closer to him.

"I mean she hasn't  _ seen _ us yet, only one of her friends told us about all of this. So let's go and make her see us." Yeonjun grinned, exactly knowing where to go to show their love to everyone, and especially to Hyunji. "I know where she usually hangs out during the break. And just in sight for her is a little bench we can sit down on and do some romantic hand holding cuddle shit."

"Damn. I love having some more audience to show my talent to."

"You're more confident, Taehyun! All of the sudden!"

"Yeah!" Taehyun smiled brightly, small wrinkles forming around his eyes. "It's weird to play this role when you're really the only one who knows that literally all of this-" He softly tucked on Yeonjuns arm which he was holding. "-is just completely fake. It's interesting to see how many people we can fool in just a day or two. I mean, that means that we're pretty good at this, right?"

"We are, Taehyunnie, we really are!" Yeonjun watched Taehyuns smile grow even bigger and he was fascinating by all these little happy wrinkles around his eyes.

Yeonjun was right when he said he knew exactly where Hyunji and her friends were hanging out. They were all leaning on a wall outside, a group of maybe five or six girls chatting and laughing. When Taehyun and Yeonjun approached the bench in the sunlight, a few meters away from that wall, one of the girls immediately tapped on another one's shoulder. When she turned around, her eyes turned into two angry slits. Yeonjun didn't look at them, just side eyed them as secretly as possible, not wanting to miss a single one of their reactions.

"The one with the white skirt, that's Hyunji. Don’t try to look at them too obviously. Act natural."

"You don't need to tell  _ me  _ to act natural." Taehyun giggled. The two sat down next to each other, and Taehyun didn't hesitate to lean his head on Yeonjuns shoulder.

"We just got one problem, we can't see their reactions." Yeonjun tried to turn his head enough to unsuspiciously look at the group of girls yet that was pretty much impossible as they had their backs turned to them.

"Well if I sat in a different way-"

"No matter how you sit, it's probably gonna look either weird or you're still breaking your neck to actually see them- oh." Yeonjun stopped. Now he got it. If Taehyun sat directly in his lap, he'd probably face them perfectly and be able to look at them while still having all his attention on Yeonjun. Taehyun thought the exact thing, looking at his fake boyfriend with big, shiny eyes.

"If it's ok for you." He smiled softly. "Otherwise I can just-"

"No, it's ok! Sit down, I mean-" Yeonjun grinned, patting his thigh. "Take a seat I guess." Taehyun giggled in the sweetest way and then carefully placed himself on Yeonjuns lap so that he faced him, putting his arms around his neck. Yeonjun looked into the boy's eyes that were first focused on thim, then flickered to the girls far behind them.

"She looks mad."

"As she should." Yeonjun chuckled. “What are they doing?"

"Ah, she's talking to her friends. She looks  _ very _ pissed, she's shaking her head… they're all kinda staring now." Taehyun kept looking at Yeonjun and then quickly at the girls that were watching, just for a second, while keeping his head low to not look too suspicious. "And now she- oh!"

Taehyun cupped Yeonjuns face with his hands without a warning and came closer to him, resting his forehead on his fake boyfriends. A wave of emotions rushed through Yeonjun when their noses almost touched. Emotions he hadn't really felt in eight or so months. Yeonjun stared into the surprised but determined doe eyes that were now completely focused on him. He prayed that Taehyun wasn't able to hear his heart beating, because it certainly felt like it would burst. Why? He wasn't quite sure but assumed it was because of the shock, the surprise and suddenness of their closeness. Yet when Taehyun opened his mouth, Yeonjuns heart definitely stopped.

"Kiss me." Taehyun said it with such certainty, it was almost intimidating. Like an order he had to obey.

"What?"

"She's literally on the way to us. Kiss me, quickly."

"If that's ok for y-"

"I wouldn't tell you to do it if it wasn't ok." Taehyuns face moved just a tiny bit closer.

"Alright," Yeonjun whispered, then he put his hand on Taehyuns cheek, closed the gap between their faces and pressed his lips against Taehyuns. They were soft, just as he had imagined, and yet it felt a little clumsy, two pairs of lips just resting against each other with barely any movement. Taehyuns hands slid down from Yeonjuns face to his shoulders and rested there while Yeonjun couldn't help but gently caress Taehyuns cheeks.

Yeonjun wasn't quite sure how long it had taken for them to separate again, probably no longer than a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. When Taehyun pulled away, he couldn't really look his fake boyfriend in the eyes. His face might have had an expression that told nothing about his current emotional state but one thing Taehyun couldn't hide, even with the best of acting, were his burning red cheeks and ears. His eyes fidgeted up and then back to Yeonjuns face, any part of his face, but not his eyes.

"She turned around. Not looking at us." Taehyuns voice was a bit quieter, a bit… shyer than usual, but otherwise pretty normal. Yeonjun didn't really care about Hyunji too much. Instead he smiled at Taehyun.

"Was that… you first…?" Taehyun nodded shyly. "Oh shit. Well sorry it was me who took you first-kiss-virginity from you then." Yeonjun chuckled.

"No, it's fine. It wasn't real anyways. It doesn't count, right?"

"Well." Yeonjun shrugged. "If you don't want it to count?"

"I mean…" Taehyun smiled and his features looked even softer and shyer. "It would be a funny story to tell I guess. But maybe I want my  _ official  _ first kiss to be with someone I actually love-" Yeonjun sighed for a reason unknown to him. 

“What about the girls, is anyone still watching?” He changed the topic, not really in the mood to discuss kisses further, because for whatever reason it made him feel… weird? Taehyun lifted his head just slightly to check.

“They’re talking. Angrily.” He then looked back at Yeonjun, for the first time looking into his eyes, yet Yeonjun was the one to avoid eye contact now. “What should we do?”

“Let them talk. They’ve seen enough.”

“Have they though?”

“Huh?” Yeonjun furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?” Taehyun once again came dangerously close to Yeonjuns face and he couldn’t help himself than to finally look into Taehyuns eyes.

“They’re staring again.” Yeonjun took that as a sign to pull Taehyun closer, a little slower than before though. Once again their lips were almost touching, and Yeonjun felt warmth overcome his whole body, when-

“Choi Yeonjun.” Before their lips could connect, Taehyun pulled away and looked behind Yeonjun with big eyes, then to his fake boyfriend. “Care to explain who this is?” Yeonjun knew that voice. He had heard it almost every day for the past nine months.

“I thought you already knew, Hyunji,” Yeonjun grunted without turning around.

“I would like to hear it from you personally.”

“This is Taehyun.” Now Yeonjun turned his head so that he could uncomfortably look at the girl behind him. She was a lot shorter than him, even shorter than Taehyun, had long black hair, and a gaze that could kill. “He’s my boyfriend.” It always filled Yeonjun with pride to say these words and then see the shocked faces of the people around him. Hyunji huffed.

“Already, huh? Wow. Really.” She crossed her arms as she eyed Taehyun. “He doesn’t look like the type of person you’d usually date or find attractive.”

“Welp. He’s exactly the person I’d date, as you can probably tell.”

“He’s a boy.”

“I told you I’m bi.”

“And you told me you don’t fall in love with boys like that.”

“Geez.” Yeonjun sighed and turned his head back to Taehyun again, putting his hands on his waist. “But I did. As you can see.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“Then open your fucking eyes. I love him.” These words made Taehyun smile proudly.

“I give you two weeks, you’ll have ditched him by then. You don’t give a shit about him.”

“Just fuck off and leave us alone, Hyunji.”

“You’re dating him because you crave physical affection since we broke up.”

“As if we…” Yeonjun turned to her again, grimly grinning. “...ever shared any physical affection these past months. Now fuck off. You’re making yourself look like a stalker.”

“A stalker…” Hyunji hissed. “Wow. Really. Fine, fuck you and your stupid ass boyfriend.” She then turned around, flipping her hair, and walked back to her girl gang, not once looking back.

“I can’t fucking  _ stand _ her…” Yeonjun let go of Taehyuns tiny waist and groaned.

“Then why did you date her?” Taehyun looked genuinely curious about how the two even ended up together.

“Well nine months ago she wasn’t.. like this. She was sweet, a little loud, but an actual nice person. It was nice having her around but after a few months it just got-” Yeonjun sighed. “I guess I just fell out of love. And so did she. If she ever even loved me in the first place. But we just kinda forced each other to stay in this relationship for reputation and images sake. We didn’t even pretend anymore. It just felt pressuring to constantly be around her.”

“And now you’re basically forcing yourself into another relationship as a ‘revenge’.”

“You’re seeing how pissed she is. That’s extremely satisfying to watch.”

“But she’s not convinced.”

“Not yet. But this is just our second day of pretending.” Yeonjun smirked as he put his arms around Taehyuns torso and pulled him closer. “And we’re quite good at acting. You heard her. She gives us two weeks. Let’s be in love like no other person has ever been in love before. Let’s make Romeo and Juliet jealous.” Taehyun chuckled, seemingly excited to act out the best show he had ever given anyone.

“How poetic. How sad that we’ll have to break up. If we don’t stay together in all eternity, would Romeo and Juliet really be jealous?”

“I mean,” Yeonjun chuckled. “We don’t die in the end, so I’d consider that a win for us.” Taehyun smiled and quickly looked around, then once again placed his forehead on Yeonjuns, probably because a bunch of people were staring.

Taehyun just looked at his fake boyfriend, and Yeonjun himself had no other choice but to admire Taehyuns face, now that it was so close. His skin was so clear and had a truly beautiful colour, Yeonjun had never really noticed it before. He could feel Taehyuns breath on his skin, and even though his heart was racing, it felt  _ awfully  _ natural to just sit there and look at him with his face barely two inches away from him.

“Your eyes are really pretty, Hyung,” Taehyun then said quietly.

“What? Are you for real?”

“Tss, no need to look so flustered.” He softly giggled. “I need to practise my role somehow, right?”

“Oh, right.” Yeonjun couldn’t help himself and frowned.

“But it’s true. You have super pretty eyes. I like how sometimes they look so intimidating and sometimes… They are really soft, you know? They have a happy look to them when you look at certain things. Or people.” Taehyun grinned and once again slowly pulled his head away.

“Like what?”

“When we were at the cafe. You looked very excited when you got your tea. And when your friends, what were their names- Jimin and Jungkook and… Taehyung? When they came to greet us, you looked soft. And even yesterday, when Soobin approached us, you tried to look annoyed but you had that softness in your eyes.” He tilted his head as he carefully scanned Yeonjuns face. “And even now… You’re already deep into this role, Yeonjun.” He giggled once again. Yeonjun blinked a few times as if he didn’t quite get what Taehyun just said to him, then he started grinning.

“I should look at my boyfriend in the same way I look at my strawberry tea, right?" Of course Yeonjun didn't actively decide to look at Taehyun with sparkly soft eyes, but at least he could pretend to do so to score a few more 'good-actor-points'.

"Absolutely right. The people won't be able to doubt that you are absolutely in love with me. But in all honesty, I like you eyes a lot."

"Well and I-" Yeonjun once again scanned Taehyuns beautiful features. "I think you're really pretty. Like your lips. They're pretty." Taehyun first looked surprised then he softly smiled.

"I'm the homosexual one of us but still manage to sound more 'no homo' than you when giving compliments…"

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean? Can I at least get a thank you?" Yeonjun pouted.

"You just sounded kind of whipped, not gonna lie." Taehyun leaned forward just a few centimeters. "And thank you. I've never heard someone say  _ that _ ." It was obvious that Taehyun either didn't take the compliment as serious as he should have or suddenly got a huge confidence boost, judging by his wide smile.

"It's true tho, I'm serious! I can't believe you've never had your first kiss when you have lips like that-" Yeonjun shut up when he saw Taehyun slowly starting to blush. "I'm sorry, uh- Was that too much?"

"Why do you always ask that? If it sounds too cheesy, it's just right! It'll look convincing!"

"No, Taehyun, actually-" Yeonjun wasn't sure if Taehyun  _ really _ thought he was just acting right now or if he was too shy to just take the compliment, but he decided to just give up. "Right. Yeah." He sighed. That boy, even though he was pretty smart, was painfully oblivious to what was acting and what was an actual genuine compliment. It  _ was _ kind of cute but was probably going to be an annoyance in the long run. Yeonjun huffed.

"When's the break over? Can you check the time?" Taehyun pulled out his phone from his pocket as Yeonjun requested.

"Fifteen more minutes. I'll meet Kai at my classroom in ten."

"So… should we get up? I'm actually gonna go to class too so maybe I should get ready."

"You're not skipping?"

"I don't skip my philosophy class. I even did my homework!"

"You?" Taehyun laughed. "I thought you don't do that!"

"I was really bored last night since  _ someone  _ just left me!"

"You really had nothing else to do other than doing homework? What about your friends?"

"Beomgyu was probably sleeping and Soobin had a breakdown over some weird boys love drama thing on Twitter and I didn't wanna disturb him." Yeonjun just shrugged. "Kook, Jimin and Tae were working, and I don't really talk much to much other friends, other than maybe Min but I think they changed their phone number and I haven't bothered to check their new number. So homework was the only option." He then sighed. "We should really get moving tho. I don't want you to be too late."

"Hm. I don't really wanna get up. I have chemistry now..." Taehyun pouted, he honestly looked quite comfortable in Yeonjuns lap, but after a little more whining, he finally stood up. He stretched and Yeonjun immediately took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"I'll walk you to class. A little more attention on us is always good."

"As if the people haven't seen enough of us already." Taehyun grinned.

"Come on, we've been a couple for three days or something, we need to be glued to each other," Yeonjun tried to defend himself as the two entered the school building hand in hand.

"You're right, you're right.  _ I  _ don't complain!"

Kai already waited in front of the classroom Taehyun would have his chemistry lesson in next, along with a bunch of other students their age. When Taehyun arrived holding hands with his fake boyfriend, all eyes were immediately glued on them.  _ Perfect _ . All attention was on the two of them.

"Have fun with your chemistry shit, Taehyunnie." Taehyun softly chuckled.

"I won't. But thank you, babe."  _ Oh god.  _ Yeonjun tried to hide the surprise and excitement when these words left Taehyuns lips. Instead, he gently smiled at his fake boyfriend, and quickly checking if anyone was watching. Well, of course, literally  _ everyone _ was staring at them more or less obviously. Perfect. All of this was going more than just perfect.

"Then I guess I'll leave for my class now-"

"Wait!" Taehyun kept holding Yeonjuns hand, even though he was about to leave. When he turned back to him, Taehyun shyly waved him closer. And when he was directly in front of him, Taehyun got on his tiptoes and softly pulled Yeonjuns face down to his to quickly put a single kiss on Yeonjuns lips once again, just very lightly and briefly, but it was enough to make some of the people around them whisper excitedly.

"We'll see each other soon?" Taehyun smiled at him brightly while taking a step back.

"Yeah. Have fun. Love you!"

"Love you too!" While Yeonjun was turning around, this time to leave for real, he saw Kais surprised, no, shocked expression, and then a big grin.

"Wait, wait, wait, you had your first kiss with him? Already? You didn't tell me? Hyunnie, why didn't you tell meee!" Kai whined loud enough for the whole school to hear. His loud and bubbly personality and voice would definitely benefit them.

As Yeonjun slowly walked to his classroom, hands buried in his pockets and showing his good old resting bad boy face to everyone he came across, he was definitely hiding a bunch if emotions. Pride, for one, because he really pissed off his ex and his plan already worked out beautifully, amusement because all the confused stares were quite funny to him, and something else he couldn't yet quite pin down. Some kind of excitement maybe, and a mix of confusion, happiness and… fear? Nervousness? He wasn't really sure if it was a positive emotion or maybe something bad, but knew that he'd feel it a lot more in the coming month. And it kind of scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LIKED THIS CHAPTER OH!  
> I'm so bad at putting notes in here because there's nothing much to say, since I've written these chapters weeks ago-
> 
> But I will say thank you for reading! Hope you'll have a nice day <3


	5. Chapter 5

Days had passed quicker than Taeyhun thought they would at the beginning of the week. A lot of things had changed since Tuesday, one of the most important things being that Taehyun wasn't single anymore. Well, he considered himself still single in the sense that the person he was with, Yeonjun, wasn't someone he actually had feelings for. So, in his own mind, Taehyun was single. He just  _ pretended  _ to not be, he  _ acted out  _ a role that was in a happy loving relationship with the schools bad boy, and the entire school, and soon, his parents, were the audience.

The two hadn't  _ actually  _ known each other on monday, but their roles were already head over heels on that day, marking the day they started dating for the public, but all of this actually began on Tuesday, and now it was Saturday, and soon they would have finished off their first week of four. He was ready to end this as quick as possible, and yet he had to admit… Taehyun enjoyed this whole thing a bit more than he should.

Taehyun usually wasn't the kind of person that wanted all eyes on him, unless it was on an actual stage of course. But he started to enjoy this kind of attention from people that would usually ignore him. His favourite were the angry or shocked faces when he and Yeonjun just seemed to be a little bit  _ too _ close for their taste. He knew that some people didn't approve of this relationship simply because it was between two boys, and honestly, annoying homophobes might just be Taehyuns favourite thing in the world.

Another thing he enjoyed more than he should was being with Yeonjun. Because he finally felt like people respected him. He felt stronger, more protected and respected ever since Yeonjun had threatened his longtime bully to beat him toothless.

And of course Taehyun couldn't deny that Yeonjun had already proven himself to be a good friend. The two had grown close and Yeonjun was incredibly fun to talk to and be around. It was a shame he had to act so hopelessly in love with him all the time, it felt like it stopped a genuine friendship from growing. The only way he felt like the two could really talk completely normally and like actual friends was when they were texting, which they did quite often by now, and even then Yeonjun always seemed a little bit too much into his role. Yet he enjoyed talking to him and spending time with him a lot, even though he wished they could spend their time… well, differently. Not necessarily always holding hands and cuddling-

Well. Taehyun once again had to admit. It was nice. Having someone hold and touch him that softly and lovingly was… quite nice. Of course Kai had also always been touchy with him but not so much in public and not… like this. Yeonjun was different. Of course it was different, because it simply wasn't genuine, but it had a whole different feel to it nonetheless.

Taehyun and Yeonjun had been spending their lunch breaks together this whole week, constantly glued to each other for at least half of their break, it was on Friday when Taehyun actually left his fake boyfriend with his other friends to join Kai in the library. Kai wasn't mad at all that Taehyun spent a lot of time with his new fake lover, which always made Taehyun really happy, considering that all of this happened so suddenly and he didn't have as much time for his soulmate as he did before.

The couple may have shared a bunch of cuddles and very in love looks, but no more kisses. And it was weird. Of course, their kiss had been nothing but fake, an act, something with no feelings whatsoever involved, but it had felt… weird. Taehyun simply couldn't find another word to describe it, other than  _ weird _ . The way Taehyun suddenly got so confident, the way he was about to kiss him again and maybe again if he needed to, the way Yeonjun just accepted and went with it, the way it felt simply felt like the right thing to do, it was all…  _ weird _ . Bizarre maybe, surreal, but not unnatural or wrong. Yet he didn’t do it again after he quickly kissed him before his chemistry class was about to start. He didn’t do it the following day, and also didn’t talk about it.

Yes, the kisses meant nothing. They were  _ not _ real. And even though Taehyun had said that he didn't want to consider it his first kiss, because again, it was  _ fake _ , it still somehow was special, right? Taehyun wasn't sure  _ why _ it was special but he guess that maybe, it was an important milestone in his career as an actor. Sure, the first time acting out a kiss, and even making it  _ this _ convincing should be something Taehyun could one day think back on when he was a famous actor, and then he could say that he had always been good at acting all whipped and in love. Because everyone, except for maybe the salty Hyunji and from what Yeonjun had told him, Beomgyu, were convinced that the two were dating. Especially Kai.

"Hyunnie, why didn't you tell meee?" Kai whined last Thursday after Taehyun had pulled Yeonjun closer one last time for a kiss before he left.

"Kai, could you be a little more quiet? Everyone's staring…" Of course Taehyun  _ wanted _ everyone to stare but his shy persona didn't.

"When did you have your first kiss, oh my god, Hyun… Hyunnie… Usually you always tell me-" Kai was bouncing up and down as he waited for his best friend to tell him everything that had happened.

"Yo, calm down! It was literally just a few minutes ago." Taehyun scratched his neck, acting embarrassed.

"Well then? How was it? How- When- What happened?"

"Kai, try to think straight first before you speak."

"Ugh, what makes you think that I'd want to think  _ straight _ ! Now come on spill!"

"Well  _ what _ am I supposed to spill?"

"Are you serious, Tyun? How it happened of course? And how it felt?" Kais grin was bigger than ever and his eyes were sparking of excitement. "I want details!"

" _ Details _ ? Of a kiss? What is there much to say-"

"You're so annoying, oh my god, just tell me what happened already!"

"God, ok…" Taehyun sighed. Well, into how much detail could he go? He obviously couldn't tell him about the reason of this whole kiss, and how he basically only did it to keep Yeonjuns ex away. So how else could he tell the story without lying too much? "How… Well. Good question, I guess it just came over me. I just got confident." That was the truth.

" _ You _ ? You're trying to tell me that  _ you  _ just went in for the kiss?"

"Yes. Again, I guess I just got confident. So I, just, you know…" Now Taehyun actually got embarrassed thinking back about his impulse act. "Kind of grabbed his face and… got close to him." Kai was looking at him with heart eyes as if he was watching a romance movie. "And then I guess. We- you know. We kissed." Kai let out a squeak and Taehyun sighed.

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?"

"Was that it?"

"Well- Yes? What- Kai what else am I supposed to tell you…?"

"How it  _ felt _ ! What you thought! What you said afterwards or what he said afterwards or if you, you know, did it again… Come on, Hyunnie, I haven't had my first kiss, I wanna know everything about it!"

"It felt-" Well, how  _ did _ it feel? Soft. Yeonjuns lips were soft. And so were his hands which were holding his face. And his eyes. They looked soft after they separated again. "Nice," Taehyun finally decided to say. Kai clearly wasn't satisfied with his answer, yet left it at that as their teacher approached to open the room and start the lesson.

And now, on this sunny Saturday, Taehyun was laying on his bed, quite bored as he had already finished all his homework. Kai was supposed to be studying so he didn't want to disturb him by texting or going somewhere with him. And who else was there to spend time with except for his lovely pet snake? Well, there was Yeonjun. But Taehyun didn't want to bother  _ him _ either, considering that he had a bunch of friends and hobbies he could spend his time with.

And yet Taehyuns phone buzzed as a new message came in. From, of course, no other than Yeonjun. Taehyun furrowed his brows as he opened the message.

**_Yeonjun Hyung_ **

_ Taehyun :D _

_ are you free today? _

_ pretty much _

_ why? _

Taehyun couldn't imagine why the boy would want to meet him  _ now _ , but ok, he'd take it.

_ wanna come to basketball practice w me? _

_ basketball? _

_ you play basketball? _

_ yess? _

_ you didnt know? _

_ pff _

_ I barely know anything about you Hyung _

_ rrright _

_ anygays wanna come with me? _

_ just like that? _

_ do you have like any friends there you wanna fool? _

_ OBVIOUSLY  _

_ a bunch of people from school are there _

_ aaaaand hyunjis big brother _

_ if he finds out about us hes definitely gonna want to tell his lil sis about it _

_ smart _

_ yeonjun galaxy brain <3 _

_ it starts in like an hour, we can meet at school tho _

_ i can drive with you then _

_ drive? _

_ like motorcycle? _

_ duh _

_ i dont have a car  _

_ so yeah obviously _

_ no thanks. I'm not driving on a motorcycle _

_ but you're gonna look sooooo cool </3 _

_ no _

_ I'm not doing that _

_ coward _

_ but fine _

_ we can go by foot i guess _

_ thanks _

_ I'll be on my way _

_ just gotta feed Dan _

_ w _

_ gotta do what now _

_ feed dan? _

_ give daniel food. _

_ what??? the fuck?? _

_ how- _

_ jkajsksk???? _

_ Yeonjun I have to feed my snake? _

_ your WHAT _

_ did you not know i have a pet snake… _

_ how am i supposed to KNOW??? _

_ and its called-- _

_ daniel _

_ yes. Dan for short _

_ 🤡 _

_ i cant believe _

_ your fucking snake is called daniel _

_ don't laugh about his name _

_ it felt right ok _

_ Dan the Snake _

_ some people have a CAT or a DOG _

_ or maybe even both _

_ and you _

_ have a SNAKE called DANIEL _

_ I just really like snakes? _

_ they're cute _

_ HOWISJEKK _

_ SNAKES??? CUTE????? WE- _

_ THEY'RE CUTE ok _

_ you'll meet Dan one day and see how cute he is _

_ I cannot _

_ comprehend _

_ you have a PET SNAKE _

_ named after your fake boyfriend _

_ wait what _

_ nothing _

_ don't tell me _

_ no _

_ shh _

_ shut up you didnt read that _

_ is that like _

_ no fuck off please _

_ your english name or something… _

_ taehyun please _

_ daniel choi. _

_ I will break up with you _

_ that's ok _

_ OUCH _

_ </3 _

_ I'll get ready now… _

_ okie boyfie <3 _

_ stop _

_ </3 _

_ no one breaks my heart as often as Kang Taehyun _

_ ok Daniel _

_ no _

_ I'll be at the main entrance of school in like 30 min _

_ should I bring anything or _

_ just your pretty face <3 _

_ I bring that no matter where _

_ I'll see you there then _

_ :DD _

_ see u <3 _

Taehyun couldn't help but lightly smile when he put his phone away, ready to give his beloved pet snake Dan some more food, when his phone once again buzzed.

_ stop always leaving me on read _

_ at least say see u back _

Taehyun sighed, amused by Yeonjuns clinginess, not being entirely sure if it was just acted of if he was actually like this with his friends. He thought about leaving him on read once again just to tease him, but ended up texting back just once.

_ I'll let you know when I'm there _

Once the snake was fed, Taehyun quickly hopped down the stairs just to almost run into his father.

"Taehyun! Where are you going?" The man, a few centimeters shorter than his son, grinned as he eyed Taehyun.

"Meeting a friend."

"Kai?"

"Oh, uh-" Taehyun scratched his head as he smiled. "Someone else actually."

"Do I know them?"

"No, not- Not yet. Can I tell you about him when I'm back?"

"Ah, sure. Have fun, don't be home too late, ok?" Taehyuns father was already on his way to the kitchen as he smiled at his son.

"Yes, of course. See you later." Taehyun grabbed his jacket and left the house just as his father was about to say goodbye one more time.

Right. He had to tell his family about all of this sooner or later. Maybe that day was today. Taehyun sighed, trying to not think about the talk he might have later today with his family, and instead got on his way to school.

The way was pretty short for Taehyun so he was at the school earlier than expected. He leaned on a wall next to the school's main entrance and scanned the area, then pulled out his phone to notify Yeonjun that he had arrived. As soon as he had sent that text, it was marked as read. Taehyun raised his brows as he looked up, and surprisingly spotted Yeonjun with his phone in his hand, approaching him.

"You're here already!" Taehyun didn't greet him but instead looked at him with crossed arms.

"So are you."

"I underestimated the time it took to feed the snake and come here. But you? You're supposed to be here in like, ten minutes or so."

"I hurried up. Because…" Yeonjun looked like he was thinking about what to say next, then grinned. "Because I wanted to see you as fast as possible of course." Followed by a wink, at least it was supposed to be a wink but instead Yeonjun just clumsily squinted with both eyes and Taehyun snorted. Why was this tall intimidating boy so incredibly dorky when his friends weren't around? It was almost adorable.

"I see. Then let's get going, we don't seem to need to hurry?"

"Nope! It's pretty close to school and since we're early we can chill."

It was weird walking next to Yeonjun without holding hands or any physical contact, as Taehyun was pretty used to it by now, but obviously it wasn’t necessary as long as the two of them were alone. Actually, he was quite happy about not having to stick by Yeonjuns side like chewing gum for a few minutes. Instead he maybe could use this time to find out what the  _ real _ Yeonjun was like.

"So, Hyung?" Yeonjun quickly glanced at him, hands in his pockets, yet softly sparkling eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You play basketball?"

"As you can tell…" Yeonjun grinned. "For a bunch of years now. I usually have practice on Saturdays and Mondays. I used to take all of this really seriously but by now it's just for fun." He leaned his head back as he walked, staring into the blue and cloud free sky, then sighed. "I'm thinking about dropping it some day. Training and competition and all feels like a chore most of the times. I could still play for fun but not competitive anymore. I've got other hobbies I wanna focus more on."

"Such as?"

"Hey, Taehyun…" Yeonjun raised his brows as he looked as his fake boyfriend. "You ask a lot."

"I'll have to get to know you a bit better." Taehyun simply shrugged and smiled, and so Yeonjun continued.

"Well I want to focus on music more. And dance."

"Y-You dance?"

"I do. Occasionally." He once again stared into the sky and squinted slightly as the sun blinded him. "If I got the time. I'd love to pick it up more again, I used to post like dance covers and shit on Instagram, but I kinda… stopped for whatever reason. It's sad honestly. Are you ok?" He looked back down to Taehyun, who was just scanning Yeonjun, an impressed look on his face. Of course he was ok but he wasn't really able to  _ express  _ it right now because for some reason his brain decided make him wonder how Yeonjun looked when he danced and if he still had these said dance covers uploaded on his Instagram account.

"Uhm. Yeah. I like dancing a lot too, I don't really… I don't do it a lot myself but I really admire people who are good at dancing." His eyes rushed back to the ground in front of him. God, Taehyun had a weakness for guys who were good at dancing. He used to watch various dancing shows and competitions on the TV when he was younger, and somehow, it was always the men who he liked watching the most. He found out the reason for that when he was around 15. Dancing men were pretty much his gay awakening.

"We follow each other on Instagram, right?"

"Yeah, but I haven't looked through your profile a lot yet."

"I'm pretty sure I have a cover or two still up. I'll send it to you if you want."

“Oh… yeah, sure, why not. If you want.” Taehyuns voice was calm and relaxed, but he actually got quite excited. Yet before his thoughts could go anywhere to Yeonjun dancing, his fake boyfriend spoke up again.

“What about you? Anything you like to do?”

“Well… Acting. Obviously. I also sing.” He got more quiet towards the end, and regretted saying anything about singing in the first place, because god, if there was one thing he wasn’t confident about at all, it was singing. He loved doing it, for years already, but had never done it in front of anyone. Other than Kai of course, and, sadly, the teacher that lead the drama club. He had to sing this year to audition for the main role, because for the first time the drama club was planning to do a musical. He had requested for everyone to leave during the auditions when he had to sing because he was that scared. And now he  _ got _ the lead role, and was still terrified of having to actually sing on stage, but thankfully the director still wasn’t sure how many musical parts he wanted to keep in due to the lack of talent some actors had (he didn’t mention any names but Taehyun was pretty sure it was  _ him _ that lacked any kind of musical talent).

“Singing? That’s awesome.” Yeonjun still picked it up, despite Taehyuns voice getting less noticeable. And then he got the question he feared the most, because everyone who ever got wind of Taehyun liking singing asked it at least once: “Can you sing for me?”

“No.” Taehyun groaned, he hated that question with a passion. “No, I can’t.”

“Aw, why not?” Yeonjun smiled at him as if he was to encourage the boy, but he just shook his head.

“I don’t- sing in front of other people. I can’t do that. Especially not just like that when someone asks, I don’t, uh, do that. Ugh, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m not good at it.”

“I don’t really believe you but ok. Won’t bother you with that.” Yeonjun pouted a little but Taehyun just sighed. Why did he think it was a good idea to mention singing? Thankfully Yeonjun didn’t seem to want to elaborate on this whole thing again.

“Anything else you like to do? Like, do you go out or something?” Yeonjun then asked instead.

“Oh, no, I- usually use my weekends to study. Also practise for our upcoming play.”

“So you just stay home? All day?” Yeonjun laughed as he shook his head in disbelief. “Couldn’t be me, I need to get out of that shithole of an apartment. If I stay there for longer than two days, I’d go crazy.

“You don’t like staying home?”

“If my home was a different place, then maybe I’d enjoy it more. But I’m moving out in two weeks anyways. So it’s fine.” Then he went quiet. The thought of already moving out was kind of scary for Taehyun, he probably couldn’t really survive too long without his family around. But Yeonjun was of course much more brave and independent.

“If it isn’t my favourite couple!” Taehyun flinched as an unknown voice cut through the silence and a person approached, with a wide grin on their face. They were taller than both Taehyun and Yeonjun, had a buzz cut, deep pretty and dark eyes. Taehyun remembered seeing them sitting at the table earlier this week when Yeonjun introduced his new fake boyfriend to his friend group. “You’re bringing him to training?”

“Yep, I thought it was nice to have him around this week!” Yeonjun immediately snapped back into his role and put an arm around Taehyuns shoulders, a smile forming on his lips.

“Aw, that’s cool! Ah, I’m sorry, I think I haven't even properly introduced myself to you. I’m Min.”

“Min…” Taehyun repeated and took their hand, softly shaking it. “Hey. I’m Taehyun. Well, you know me already, right…" He smiled shyly, a little overwhelmed by Mins, well… strong aura? They looked so tall and intimidating yet open, welcoming and happy.

"You two are walking? Shouldn't you be driving here on a motorcycle while softly holding onto each other or something?"

"I would have picked him up with my motorcycle but  _ someone _ was a little scared." Yeonjun pulled Taehyun a little closer and softly smiled at him, yet Taehyun only pouted.

"I wasn't scared! I just don't really feel safe riding a motorbike."

"So you were scared…" Yeonjun moved his hand up to Taehyuns head and softly played with his hair. "But there's no need to, you'd be safe with me… always!" God, Yeonjun could be so disgustingly cheesy but in the end it  _ was _ kind of cute, at least for the people watching, because Min immediately started smiling at the two as if they were two little puppies cuddling.

"Aw man, you two… really are something… But you better focus on the game today, Jun. No blowing kisses and having heart eyes for him, alright?"

"Seriously Min, when do I ever get distracted?" Yeonjun pulled his hand away again and raised his eyebrow at his friend.

"When looking at your pretty boyfriend. Now come on, let's get moving. We don't wanna be late, right?" Min grinned and turned around to get to walking. Yeonjun quickly looked over to Taehyun, glancing at his hand a few times to make sure it was ok to hold them. How did Yeonjun not bother grabbing his waist or pulling him close or even straight up kissing him but got unsure when it got to simple hand holding? So instead of nodding or agreeing or giving Yeonjun any sign that he could in fact hold his hand after a week of fake dating, he simply kept looking straight forward while taking Yeonjuns hand and immediately intertwining their fingers.

Min, who was walking in front of them, started chatting with the two again despite having their back turned to them.

"Don't do anything crazy, you know Hyunjis brother is there and he's definitely gonna tell his lil sister everything that goes on between the two of you. By the way?" Min quickly glanced over their shoulder to raise their eyebrows at Yeonjun. "What on earth did you do like two days ago, when I saw her, she was furious!"

"Nothing scandalous!" Yeonjun huffed. "I just told her to fuck off already, and stay out of my relationship. She said she gives us two week until we break up. I hope she'll just fuck off for good after that." Taehyun felt Yeonjun squeezing his hand, who probably did it unknowingly. They had to hope that she'd be quiet and forget about Yeonjun after two weeks, because if she just paid too much attention after the month they initially planned to be together, all of this would pretty much have been pointless to begin with.

"Well from what I can see is that you two are most definitely gonna be together for longer than two weeks." Min buried their hands in the pockets of their hoodie. "Hyunji really is one annoying ass bitch. I still can't believe you dated her for a good eight or nine months, it's crazy."

"Well she was sweet before and I guess I was just… a little naive. And fell in love for some reason still unknown to me."

"We all make mistakes." Min shrugged and Taehyun actually couldn't hold back a giggle.

The rest of the walk to the gym Yeonjun had his basketball practice AT was pretty relaxing, because while Yeonjun and Min had some casual small talk, Taehyun was enjoying the fresh air, warm sun, and Yeonjuns soft hand that tightly held onto Taehyuns. They arrived at a gym that seemed to belong to an elementary school nearby but was used by various sports teams in the afternoons and on the weekends. A bunch of guys were already there and greeted Min and Yeonjun (who had now let go of Taehyuns hand) with some yelling and high fives.

"Yo, uh, Kim?" Yeonjun had greeted them all and was now nodding at a guy a little taller than him. "I brought someone today, can he like, watch?" Yeonjun then pointed to Taehyun with his chin, and the tall guy greeted him with a grin.

"Yeah, sure, as long as he ain't disturbing anyone?"

"He won't."

"Oh, don't be so sure, Jun, I've got the feeling like you're gonna give him a little too much attention!" Min interrupted them with a big smile.

"Wow, you really don't trust me at all, huh asshead?" Yeonjun snorted and jokingly punched his friend in the arm.

"Can I ask who he is?" The tall guy now asked and eyed Taehyun. Even though he wasn't as tall as Min, he was still pretty scary looking.

"That's, uh… Taehyun. My boyfriend." Usually Yeonjuns tone was proud when he introduced Taehyun to others, but he sounded different now. Taehyun could tell that even though he seemed comfortable with most people here, it was an entirely different environment than his friends at school.

" _ Boyfriend _ ? Like… boyfriend who like-" Tall guy definitely sounded like a confused heterosexual jock.

"Boyfriend like the boy I love," Yeonjun explained.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So you're like. Gay or-"

"I'm bisexual. I like more than one gender."

"So guys and girls…"

"Exactly."

"Would you also, like, date someone like Min or-"

"I would also be attracted to non binary people, yes."

"Ah. Fresh. Ok. That's cool man. That's ok. We're all chill with that. Like you're still our homie-"

" _ Jesus fucking christ _ , Kim, I got it, now don't make it so terribly awkward. Can we like, maybe start?” Yeonjun furrowed his brows in annoyance about the tall guys rambles.

“Sorry, man, yeah, we’ll wait like a few minutes, some people are late but you can warm up and shit.” Tall guy awkwardly stepped back, still eyeing Taehyun, then turned around to talk to someone else.

“Wow. He was-”

“That’s Kim Sangjun, he’s our team leader kinda, but he has literally zero brain cells. He’s a pretty nice dude but… he’s just really fucking straight, if you get me.” Yeonjun sighed and clumsily grinned. As his eyes wandered around the sports hall, he furrowed his brows, then nodded into the direction of another guy. “And over there we have Hyunseok. Our main target.” Hyunseok, apparently Hyunjis brother, was tall, had fluffy blonde hair tied in a little bun and narrow eyes and arms that looked like he could crush a watermelon with bare hands. He was incredibly handsome overall.

“Woah.”

“What do you mean, ‘Woah’?” Yeonjun raised his eyebrows at Taehyun, slightly pouting.

“I just think his arms are pretty impressive.”

“Welp.” Yeonjun crossed his arms, glancing at Hyunseok. “So are mine.”

“What?” Taehyun started chuckling as he saw Yeonjuns annoyed look.

“I’m just saying that my arms are impressive too. They’re really strong.” He still stared over to Hyunseok, eyes cold as ice.

“Ey, Jun, wanna start warming up a little with me?” Min appeared next to the two, now just wearing a tank top instead of a hoodie like before.

“Yeah, sure. Taehyunnie, you wanna sit down and watch?” Yeonjun smirked at his fake boyfriend and pointed to the stands. Taehyun excitedly nodded. "And would you mind taking my bag with you?"

"You wanna play in that thick ass sweater?" Min stopped their friend and eyed him while tugging on his black hoodie. Yeonjun hesitated, then smiled.

"Almost forgot that, right." He threw a quick look at Taehyun, then proceeded to take of the hoodie, pulling it over his head to reveal the white shirt he had underneath. Huh. He was right. Yeonjuns arms were indeed impressive too. He pushed back his hair and then looked to Taehyun, smiling. He was obviously trying to look like he was flirting with him.

"Will you take my hoodie too?" Taehyun took the sweater Yeonjun just took off and eyed Yeonjuns body in that white shirt. Yeah. He was quite attractive. Taehyun had to admit it and he wasn't even ashamed, his fake boyfriend  _ was _ incredibly good looking and  _ he  _ was the lucky one to pretend to be dating him.

"Do your best, I'll be cheering on you." Taehyun winked at Yeonjun before he turned around go sit on the stands and had to stop himself from physically cringing at that terribly cheesy attempt to flirt.

Taehyun watched the guys warm up and greet new people coming in, a few looking at him strangely and Yeonjun always quickly explained who the guest in the big baby blue sweater was that was just casually watching.

To be honest, it was quite boring. Taehyun had never been the biggest sports fan and basketball wasn't his favourite thing ever, and as long as they were just kind of chatting and warming up and stretching, there was nothing really to… follow. To be thrilled about. Well, other than the almost poisonous looks Hyunseok constantly threw at Yeonjun. It looked like his little sister had already told him everything, and he was clearly not having it. At all. Hyunseok didn't say a word, but his gazes were enough. Surprisingly he only looked at Taehyun once, but that time he looked him directly in the eyes, and only then Taehyun noticed something strange. While one eye was dark brown, the other one was almost ice blue. This dudes face was so interesting, so unique, his eyes were so sharp and his right eye almost gleaming made him look even scarier.

Taehyun was eyeing Hyunseok, watching him lean against a wall and drinking, when Yeonjun appeared.

"Hey, Taehyun, can I get my bag real quick? I wanna get some- What are you looking at?" Only now Taehyun snapped out of his thankfully by Hyunseok unnoticed staring.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, what do you need?" He grabbed Yeonjuns bag that was sitting next to him.

"Just some water. What were you looking at?" Yeonjun repeated his question and took the bottle Taehyun gave to him.

"I just noticed… Hyunseok has heterochromia."

"He has what?"

"His right eye is blue while the other one is dark brown. It's really cool, not many people have this."

"Right." Yeonjun took a sip from his water bottle and furrowed his brows. "And why are you staring at him?"

"I just think he's quite good looking. He-" Taehyun got interrupted by Yeonjun giving the water bottle to him, indicating that it should be put back into his bag.

"Alright then. Shouldn't you stare at your boyfriend instead?" Yeonjun didn't look at Taehyun, instead gazed Hyunseok with narrow eyes, biting down on his lip. Taehyun hesitated, and for a second he had no idea if Yeonjun was really just that deep into the role of if he was genuinely… mad?

"I mean, I guess so but-"

"Then look at me now." Right, sometimes Taehyun needed to be reminded that Yeonjun was, despite sometimes acting all soft, known to be a bad boy. And he sometimes just had to let his 'bad' and intimidating side show, because it simply  _ was  _ a part of his personality.

"Alright guys, can we like start now? I'm getting bored. Let's have a game," Yeonjun called, walking towards the middle of the gym, looking at the other people around him. And yet he now sounded oddly annoyed, somewhat… possessive.

"Alright, let's start then, let’s have a nice long game. What teams are we going with?" The tall guy, Kim Sangjun, stretched his arms.

"I wanna have a little match with Hyunseok Hyung today." Yeonjun smiled at his team captain, then at Hyunseok. Min widened their eyes and grinned at Taehyun, clearly knowing that Yeonjun wanted to provoke Hyunseok.

"Well, why not! Pick your team mates then." Kim Sangjun only shrugged and took a step back.

"Wow, you want me to crush you in front of your  _ boyfriend _ ? That's brave." Hyunseok opened his bun to redo it, quickly brushing through his bleached hair with his fingers. "Go and choose your first team mate. I'll give you that advantage." He flashed his surprisingly sharp teeth as he smiled. Yeonjun nodded and so they chose their teammates for the game in turns.

By the time the teams were completed, the air was brimming with tension, Taehyun almost had trouble breathing. And just before the game started, Yeonjuns eyes flashed to Taehyun, icy cold, and he smirked. In a way that so clearly said 'keep your eyes on me'.

And he did. Taehyuns eyes were glued to Yeonjun. They watched every movement of his, and even when the ball wasn't in his possession, he kept his gaze on him. Only a few times he averted his eyes instead take a quick glance at Hyunseok, but honestly, despite being physically attractive, it wasn't the same. His movements weren't the same, and neither was his passion. He clearly was focused on the game but didn't seem to have a goal in mind, not like Yeonjun, who definitely wanted to achieve something with this game. And even though Taehyun wasn't absolutely sure what it was, it assumed it to be provoking Hyunseok.

And having a goal like this to work for clearly seemed to work. Yeonjun kept scoring more and more points, it was almost humiliating to watch Hyunseoks team lose their faith.

The game got paused. Yeonjuns team was leading.

"We're taking a break, y'all. Wanna keep playing later?" Sangjun announced.

"Let this game go on, we're gonna turn this around." Hyunseok grunted and redid his bun once again, this time a lot more messily. "There's no time for a break now." He was definitely exhausted but man, by now he was  _ pissed _ . Sangjun lifted his brows and looked at the other players.

"Shall we?" None of them said a word. "I'll take this as a yes then. Go on!" And within seconds the game started again and every player was deep into their role. Especially Yeonjun.

God, Yeonjun was good at this. At playing basketball, of course. But more than that he was good at… well. Making you not want to look away. Pearls of sweat were sparkling on his honey skin, his shirt was already partly sticking to his body, emphasizing his muscles. He pushed his silver hair out of his face and quickly licked his upper lip, then looked to the side and-

Their eyes met. Yeonjun looked directly into Taehyuns eyes. And just like Taehyun caught himself staring at his fake boyfriend,  _ he _ was now staring back at Taehyun. It may have been a few seconds of staring, but they were quite intense. They were talking Taehyuns breath away. And even though Taehyun would have loved to keep contact to these deep, fierce eyes, an annoyed yell made Yeonjun snap out and abruptly turn is head.

"Jun you fucking idiot, stop being gay and focus!" It was Min who seemingly wanted to pass the ball to Yeonjun, but couldn't as he got distracted. Instead, the ball got into the opposite teams hands.

"Got it, sorry!" And that was it. Maybe three or four seconds of eye contact. No more, for the rest of the game. But from this moment Yeonjun had a grin on his face so proud and triumphant and just  _ confident _ . And even when Hyunseoks team started scoring a bunch of points towards the end, his smile didn't fade.

And despite the other team catching up a little, Yeonjun and his team ended up winning. The time was up and Yeonjun was in the lead.

Taehyun quickly picked up Yeonjuns bag to give him his water bottle when he approached. He was heavily breathing and dropped down next to Taehyun, taking his bottle and hastily drinking from it.

“You did good.” Taehyung pushed Yeonjuns bag over to him and watched him pull out a towel to gently wipe off some sweat off his face.

"Thanks. We won."

"Yes, Yeonjun, I saw it. I was there." Taehyun chuckled, then hesitated a bit until he said: "You look good."

"What?" Yeonjun raised his eyebrows at his fake boyfriend.

"I said you look good."

"Oooh, Taehyunnie! What makes you say that?" He smirked and leaned back, eyeing Taehyun.

"Come on, Hyung. You're really attractive and you know that yourself." Taehyun only shrugged. It wasn't even a thing to be embarrassed by, he might not have any actual feelings for his fake lover, but he's not blind. Yeonjun was handsome. Taehyun admitted to finding him attractive. Yet he also found a bunch of different guys, including Kai for example, quite attractive so it really meant nothing.

"Alright, we're having a little bit of a break!" Sangjun announced. "Let's have one quick game in ten minutes and then let's end it for today!"

"I'm not putting this much power into another game." Yeonjun stretched his arms, the groaned. "I achieved what I wanted with this one."

"And what was that?"

"Duh, winning, of course. And getting y-" Yeonjun stopped, his eyes widened as if he got scared by whatever he was about to say. "Pissing off Hyunseok."

"It was kind of embarrassing to watch him. Like he didn't have a chance against you."

"Well, you weren't supposed to watch him."

"I didn't, like I said, it was embarrassing to watch. I was watching you." A satisfied smile appeared on Yeonjuns face as he heard those words. But before he could say anything else, someone excitedly approached the two.

"Now look at that, your boyfriend won a whole game against one of our best players just for you!" Min sat down next to Yeonjun with the widest grin.

"Best player? Hyunseok is nowhere near being our best player, it's actually Sangjun and he was on our team-"

"Yeah, but I wanted it to sound more dramatic." Min crossed their arms behind their head and leaned back. "You really just completely fucked that guy." They patted Yeonjun on the back a few times. "I don't know what's going on in this family but I dislike him just as much as I dislike his sister. He might be handsome as fuck, but-"

"My fucking god, why do you all think he's hot?" Yeonjun groaned and looked back and forth between Min and Taehyun.

"Hello, have you seen his eyes? His funky blue one? I swear it's like magical or some shit. That's hella endearing." Min crossed their arms.

"And I think you're more attractive," Taehyun just mumbled, not expecting Yeonjun to almost choke on air. Apparently he did not expect Taehyun to flirt, well, act out some flirting. But was it really flirting? Not just Taehyun stating the truth?

"Did you like watching the game?" Min leaned forward to take a better look at Taehyun. They really were a master of quickly changing topics and keeping a conversation alive.

"Well I'm usually not the biggest fan of basketball, I have to admit. But I guess it's just different with Yeonjun. Couldn't take my eyes off him. It was really cool to watch."

"Have you ever played yourself?"

"No, uh… not outside of school. I think I have never managed to get that ball in the hoop in my entire life."

"Then…" Min was once again aggressively patting Yeonjuns shoulder. "...you should try now, before we start the last game. I mean, you got a whole ass basketball pro with you now right? Come on Jun, help your lovely boyfriend and make him score a point for the first time!" Yeonjun looked at Taehyun who just hesitantly smiled and then got up, shrugging. Why not? Throwing a ball at a hoop wouldn't hurt him. Yeonjun now also stood up, followed by Min, who lead them to the basketball hoop and quickly grabbed a ball.

"Right, I mean, I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to show you, it should be easy. But what you're basically doing is… Holding your ball like so, kind of on your fingertips…" Yeonjun slowly lifted the ball up, holding it with one hand and guiding it with the other. "And your other hand is a guide hand, just to bring the ball up… You bend your arm like this…" Taehyun was attentively watching his fake boyfriends moves. He wasn't really good at verbally explaining, but his movements seemed easy to replicate. "And then you just… Shoot I guess." Yeonjun threw the ball and- indeed landed the shot. The ball bounced back to him and he gave it to Taehyun. "Try!"

Taehyun was trying to get into the exact same position as he had Yeonjun watched doing before. But when he tried throwing the ball, it didn't even land close to the hoop. Yeonjun snorted and quickly retrieved the ball.

"Yeah, no, not like that. Let me guide you." He gave the ball to Taehyun again, yet didn't take a step back this time but came a little closer, then lowered his voice. "Can I?" It took a second for Taehyun to understand what he meant, but then he nodded. Man, Yeonjun really sometimes was straight up scared to touch Taehyun without asking a thousand times, and then again, on other occasions, it came completely natural to him.

"First, you look a little too tense, your legs are too close to each other, so widen you stand a little more and you'll have more stability." Yeonjun stepped behind Taehyun and put his hands on his hips. Taehyun did as he said.

"And your guide hand is only helping you to bring the ball up. You throw the ball with only one hand so…" Taehyun lifted his arms to get ready to throw and Yeonjun put his hand on Taehyuns left one. "This one stays here once you shoot." He softly grabbed it and leaned down a bit to position his face right next to Taehyuns. "Now aim and focus."

"Focus. Sure." Taehyun turned his head just a little bit, now being only an inch away from Yeonjus face. "How am I supposed to focus on something that isn't you when you're so close to me?" At this point Taehyun didn't even know if anyone around him other than Min, who had been excitedly watching the two, could hear them. But right now he didn't care too much, because Yeonjuns reaction was quite priceless. Eyes widened, ears getting slightly red, a flustered look on his face.

This was fun, honestly. Yes, Taehyun was supposed to play the shy boyfriend, but he didn't mind switching into a flirtier role from time to time just to catch his fake boyfriend off guard. His brain seemed to process for a while, then he smirked.

"Then I'll take a step back and let you try again. If you score this one, I'll give you a prize."

"And that prize is?"

"A kiss." Taehyuns first thought after he heard these words were simple. 'I doubt that.' Yeonjun was too shy to initiate anything at all, even a hug, so Taehyun couldn't imagine him actually going for a kiss. Then again, he probably wanted to make sure that Hyunseok saw them being as close as possible.

And so Taehyun tried again after Yeonjun took a few steps back.  _ Widen your stand, use your hand as a guide, focus. _ And he threw the ball at the hoop. Min and some of the other people that were apparently watching let out a disappointed sigh. He didn’t score a point, yet came closer than before.

"Too bad." Yeonjun put his arms around Taehyuns body to hug him from behind. Wow. That felt nice. "You're not winning your kiss." He was into it now. Yeonjun was really into his role now, and to be honest, he was really  _ good  _ at it because it made Taehyun think that it must feel exactly like that to have an actual  _ real _ boyfriend, just with more… real love though.

"Yeonjun, wait, give him the prize, don't leave everyone hanging like this!" Min started whining. Damn, they really were their biggest supporter.

"Nope, I don't give out any consolation prizes."

"You're a tease, huh, Hyung?" Taehyun chuckled, but stopped when Yeonjun unexpectedly put his lips on Taehyuns cheek to leave a quick, tiny kiss.

"Everyone knows I am." Then he pulled his arms away.

Damn. Yep, Yeonjun had found his perfect role. This was it. And he was playing almost a little bit  _ too  _ convincing, because Taehyun found his heart to be beating actually a little bit faster than usual until Yeonjun had let go of him.

“Maybe stop playing around with your new toy and get ready for our next game. I wanna see you give it your everything, Choi.” So Hyunseok had been watching all this time too, huh? Perfect.

“Did you really just call my  _ boyfriend _ a toy?” Yeonjun abruptly spun around to face Hyunseok.

“Come on, as if you are already deep in love with someone a week after your breakup. Hyunji told me-”

“Oh, of course  _ Hyunji _ told you. Do me a favour and don’t get involved in my relationships like your sister does.” And with these words, Yeonjun took Taehyuns hand and lead him away, back to the stands.

“I swear, all of them are obsessed with me, the whole family. Watch Beomgyu spit on some cops again and suddenly I get arrested because their dad found out and has some freaky connections.” Yeonjun exhaled and pushed his hair back. “I think we’re starting the last game. Cheer on me, yeah?”

“Sure… Wait, hold on a second, Beomgyu did what?” Yeonjun didn’t answer anymore, instead joined the other players that were getting ready for the days last game.

It wasn’t as exciting to watch as the previous one, probably because Yeonjun was half as passionate as he was before. Obviously he still did good but didn’t score as many points, instead his whole team was pretty much carried by Sangjun. Taehyun didn’t grow bored but was definitely awaiting the end of this game as he and Yeonjun already showed off their beautiful fake relationship as much as possible and he kind of wanted to go home.

Well- Did he really want to go home? Because once he was home, he would... tell his family about this. About Yeonjun. Maybe it was better if the game was dragged out a little bit more, just so he could avoid talking to his family about all of this a little longer. But as if some gods had heard Taehyun and then collectively decided to  _ not _ give him that luxury, Sangjun started waving with his arms.

“Alright, boys and Min, it’s time to stop I guess. Y’all were amazing today. Yeonjun, bring your boyfriend to our big games if you always got that energy around him.” Yeonjun grinned at his team leader, then at Taehyun, who only sighed, yet couldn’t help himself but softly smile back.

“I’ll change out of this disgusting shirt really quick and then we can go.” When Yeonjun came back to the stands, Taehyun had already gotten up and grabbed the hoodie and bag. Yeonjun took it from him and headed to the changing room along with some other people, leaving Taehyun alone so he decided to sit down again.

He was pretty much lost in thoughts about, well… how to come out when someone was suddenly standing right in front of him. When Taehyun looked up he saw a tall guy, blonde hair and icy eyes. Hyunseok.

"Chois boyfriend, huh?" Taehyun stopped breathing. "Damn. Don't trust that fucker. He's playing with you. He only wants my sister to think he moved on. He's gonna fuck around with you for like two weeks and throw you away."

"He-" Taehyun knew that, of course, whatever Hyunseok just said wasn't true, but he was scared nonetheless. He was scared of his cold stare and deep voice and threatening arms. He was scared if the big guy that was obviously stronger than him, because strong big guys usually loved it to threaten him. And yet Taehyun had the urge to say something, to play his role of a loving boyfriend and defend Yeonjuns love for him, but he couldn't.

"I'm gonna leave you alone tho. This is just a warning, man. An advice. He's not gonna do shit for you. Drop him while you still can." And with these words Hyunseok turned around and left Taehyun. It took awhile for him to be able to move again. God. His heart was racing. Why? What did he fear? That Hyunseok was about to beat him up?

"Taehyun? Should we leave?" Yeonjuns familiar soft voice pushed him back into reality and Taehyun immediately forced a smile on his face.

"Yeah, sorry! Let's go."

Taehyun didn't even realize how disgusting and stuffy the air inside the gym was, but when he stepped outside it felt like he could take a breath for the first time in ages. Most people had seemingly left so Taehyun and Yeonjun didn't bother to hold hands or look particularly close.

"Do you know how to get home yourself from here?" Yeonjun asked, throwing a quick glance over to Min, who was leaning on a car, seemingly their own. They were far enough to not be able to hear the twos conversation.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

"Great, because Min and I are gonna grab a drink and I- doubt you want to come with us."

"Not really, no. I still have-" Taehyun huffed and stared at the ground, digging his hands deeper into the pockets of his pants. "I have something important to do."

"You gonna feed your snake again or-"

"I'm coming out. I'm doing it." Now Taehyun looked up, directly into Yeonjuns surprised eyes.

"Oh." He looked like he didn't particularly know what to say now. "Okay. I- That's good. I'm glad you're doing it."

"Right." Taehyun put on a smile, but Yeonjun pretty much immediately knew how fake it was. He furrowed his brows.

"Are you scared?"

"Yeah. A little bit." Taehyuns voice got more quiet with every word that left his lips. "A lot, actually. I don't think my mother is gonna take it too well. She's… pretty strict. With her plans. For me and her family."

"You… Hey, I'm sorry. But I believe in you ok? You can do it. And if you, like, need someone to talk to, there's Kai, right?" Yeonjun softly put his hands on Taehyuns shoulders and smiled at him as reassuring as possible. "And there's me. You can talk to me too. I'm here for you. Well, I have to, as your boyfriend-" Yeonjuns eyes softened up even more. "And as your  _ friend _ ." Taehyun slowly nodded. "I'll have to move now though, I can feel Min staring at me. Good luck, yeah?" When Taehyun didn't answer, Yeonjun did something he wouldn't have expected to be done.

He pulled him close into a hug. A genuine, supporting hug. One that wasn't part of any role or act but one that was meant to encourage and comfort Taehyun. And it worked. It felt warm and tight and cozy and simply comforting, to the point that Taehyun whined when Yeonjun pulled away again.

"Hey, didn't you call  _ me _ clingy just a few days ago?" He grinned at his fake boyfriend, who now put his hands into his pockets again.

"Go back to Min. I'll head home." Taehyun pouted, didn't look at Yeonjun though.

"Fine then." Yeonjun chuckled. "We'll see each other on Monday. And good luck. You can do it."

"And Yeonjun?" Taehyun quickly grabbed Yeonjuns wrist before he left. "Thank you." And so Taehyun let him go, smiled one last time at his fake boyfriend, this time it was genuine, and turned around to leave.

  
  


Taehyun had placed his hand on the handle of the front door about a minute ago and still hadn't dared to actually  _ open _ the door. He hadn't dared to step into his own house yet, in fear that in just a few minutes, he might not be able to comfortably live in this house anymore.

God, he was dumb. And idiot. Did he really think his parents were going to kick him out? Because he was gay? Did he really think this all would end in the worst way possible? Taehyun sighed, his heart beating, threatening to burst, but he pushed the door open. Finally. It would be fine. It would be alright.

When he stepped in, it was quiet. No noise from the kitchen, nothing from upstairs. Taehyun quietly walked down the hallway and peeked into the living room. There was only his father, with a book in his hands, attentively reading.

"Hey dad." Taehyuns voice was calm, but in reality he was about to explode. "I'm home."

"Ah, Taehyun. Did you have fun?" His father didn't look up from the book.

"Yes. Where's mom?"

"She's out with your sister. They wanted to watch a movie together, remember?" Taehyun sighed. Right. Ladies Night. He completely forgot. God, Taehyun felt stupid. He felt like an  _ idiot _ , how could he- "Do you need something?"

"I- wanted to talk to you. Like all of you."

"I see. Is it important?" His father's eyes were still glued on the book, but the tone of his voice didn't sound indifferent.

"Kind of."

"Can't you just tell me already? And tell the others tomorrow, or I'll tell them?"

"Well-" Taehyun hesitated. He knew his father well, but right now he had not the slightest idea of how he might react. The thought of potentially destroying the good relationship to his father crushed Taehyun completely. But if he didn't say it now- "I'll tell you."

He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to his father. His posture was tense, because of course, how was he supposed to loosen up his body when he was almost bursting from anxiety.

"What is it, son?" His father still had his eyes on the book. How could he even focus on whatever was written there when his son was about to tell his biggest secret he had for over three years now?

"I- I have-" His voice slightly cracked. God, no. What did he fear? What was he worrying about? Why was he so pressured  _ now _ , when he  _ always _ had his feelings under control? There was nothing to worry about and yet- Tears started to burn in his eyes.  _ Fuck. _ He tried to blink away the tears, inhaled, and- thought about Yeonjun. Or rather, what he said.  _ I believe in you _ . Right. He believed in him. And so did Kai. Okay.

"I have a boyfriend." Taehyuns voice was stable again, and clear when he said it, but he stopped breathing, waiting for his father's reaction.

"That's nice."  _ What? _ That was it? No further questions asked? No, his father always asked more, always teased him about finding a girlfriend, why did he now just say 'that's nice', why did he-

"Wait." There. He finally seemed to have realized what his son had just said. And for the first time, he looked up from his stupid book to look into his son's eyes, his son's teary, burning, scared eyes. "You mean… Boyfriend…  _ real _ boyfriend?" Taehyun nodded.

"I'm… I'm gay, dad." He said it. He did it. God, he really had done it.

"And… Taehyun, why are you crying?" Was he crying? Well, he couldn't quite stop the tears from rolling down his cheek. But right,  _ why _ was he crying? Was it relief or was it still fear?

"I don't know… I don't know, I just…"

"You don't need to be afraid, Taehyun… You really don't. You're my son and I love you no matter what, you know that, right? You don't have to cry!" His father smiled at him so softly, so protecting in a way. He had always smiled like this when Taehyun was crying. When he was a little kid and fell, when he got a bad score in an exam, when he had an argument with his sister or mother, whenever Taehyun cried, his father had that same smile, that same comforting smile for his son and every time he saw it, Taehyun could be sure that things were going to be alright.

"For how long did you know?" He laid his book on the table in front of them and put an arm around Taehyun.

"Since… I'm 15 I think."

"15… That's so long… Did you tell anyone?"

"Not directly tell… I'm not sure anymore how and when Kai found out but he knows."

"And anyone else?" The way his father was asking, so patient and genuinely interested, it calmed Taehyun down a lot already.

"By now, well- The whole school knows." Taehyun hoarsely chuckled. "But nobody knew before."

"And your boyfriend… Tell me about him. Is he the one you met today?" Taehyun hesitated a bit. He didn't know how to feel about lying to his father, pretending like he loved Yeonjun, but then again, he had to do it, maybe he didn't have to go all out in front of his father (yet), but he should at least somewhat maintain the role he had played this whole week.

"His name is Yeonjun. He goes to my school and we met there. He asked me out on monday."

"Monday, huh… So it's still all new…"

"Yes. It all went really fast, but trust me with this. We are really close."

"I believe you, I believe you… Are we going to meet him?"

"I'm sure. Mom always said she'd invite my partner for dinner, right?"

"Right. You want to tell your mother?"

"I have to, huh?" Taehyun sighed, and the anxiety slowly came creeping back. His father's response to all of this was overwhelmingly positive, but his mother was definitely going to be, well, less supportive. He knew it already.

"Should I talk to her first?"

"No. I'll do it alone. I'll talk to her and my sister. It's going to be fine." Of course it wasn't going to be fine. His mother wasn't going to be fine with any of this at all.

"Please give her a chance to… understand when you tell her. She'll have to process."

"Do you think she'll hate me?"

"Taehyun, please. She won't hate you, you are her son. She will never hate you. But she will be shocked. Maybe confused."

"And angry. Dad, I'm- I'm basically destroying all plans she had for our family."

"She'll have to learn that not everything that happens here is in her hands. She can't dictate your life. She'll need some time to understand it. And I promise, I'll give my best to help her understand. Alright?" Here the were again. The tears. Rolling down Taehyuns face.

"Alright." Taehyun smiled through the tears, then threw himself into his father's arms. Like he used to to when he was a kid. He was still like a kid in his father's eyes, he knew that. But right now, that was ok, because that meant the long warm hugs and head pats from his father he had always gotten when he was younger.

Finally. He did it. He did his first step. Thanks to Yeonjun.

When Taehyun was back in his room, he checked his phone. A message from Yeonjun was waiting for him. He smiled as he opened it.

  
  


**_Yeonjun Hyung_ **

_ if you did it, tell me how it went _

_ I did it _

_ well _

_ my mom and sister are out _

_ so I only got to tell my dad _

_ but he took it well _

_ god I'm just so glad he accepts it _

_ wow _

_ you did really great _

_ im really really proud if you Taehyunnie _

_ like for real im super proud  _

Taehyunnie… By now he liked that nickname coming from Yeonjun. Usually it was just Kai and his sister that used that name, but when Yeonjun said it, it was also quite… cute?

_ thanks _

_ but it's all thanks to you _

_ you made me do it _

_ see, youre getting something from this whole thing too! _

_ im glad you did it _

_ when are you telling your mom? _

_ some time next week _

_ kinda scared because you know _

_ she has planned this family out _

_ and I'm gonna be so different from what she imagined _

_ but it's gonna be fine. I'll be fine _

_ you will be alright, Taehyun _

_ you will. I promise. _

'I hope you'll keep your promise," Taehyun thought to himself. He didn't know what lead Yeonjun to promise such a thing he couldn't control in any way, but for some reason he believed it.

Whatever was going to happen in these coming weeks, he'll be alright. Taehyun trusted Yeonjun to make it alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is one of the longest chapters... When I started writing this i wanted it to be short, posting chapters no longer than 2k words, and now this one is 10k,,,
> 
> by the way, this chapter was originally released a day before Taehyun announced that he actually had a pet snake, so... I'm a galaxy brain I think <3
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your support already, I hope you'll keep liking the coming chapters!


	6. Chapter 6

Taehyun didn’t move. He was completely silent, didn’t even dare to breathe too heavily. He was trying to listen to the noises downstairs, trying to listen to his mother and father talking to each other, waiting for them to stop so that one of them could go and call him for dinner.

He had been waiting like this for half an hour. And he wasn’t really sure why exactly, but something kept him from moving, working, doing anything. Maybe it was fear. Fear he had been feeling this whole day.

When he left for school this morning he told his mother that there was something important he had to tell her. And his mother never forgets something like this. Four days ago, Taehyun came out as gay to his father, and he had gotten an overwhelmingly positive response. Yet he knew that he would not have the same experience with his mother. She was a strict woman, with strong beliefs and clear goals. Everything she did was always exactly going as planned. She had raised her children into the people she saw a rich promising future for.

Her oldest child, Taehyun, was passionate about art, music, and most importantly, acting and literature. And her youngest child, Sohee, was active and loved all kinds of sports, making her physically stronger than her father at the age of just 16. And both of them were incredibly smart. A blessing for their parents. They were a picture perfect family, just like Taehyuns mother had always wanted. And Taehyun was the one to destroy that vision for his mother tonight. Because there was going to be one thing she would never be able to control: Who Taehyun loved. Who he started a family with together.  _ If _ he even would ever start a ‘real’ family.

It was going to be weird, embarrassing, and nerve wrecking. It was maybe going to destroy the relationship between him and his family. But it had to be done, Taehyun felt like only then he could live… properly?

Someone knocked on his door and Taehyun almost fell out of his bed. The door opened and his father peeked in.

“Dinner is ready.” Taehyun nodded and stood up, not looking his father in the face. “You’re doing it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Should I say anything?”

“No. Let me do it alone. I know what I want to say.” He did, there was nothing else he had thought about that day. Yeonjun had encouraged him in school, and once again had given him that warm, comforting hug, one the real Yeonjun was giving his  _ friend _ , and not something that was acted. And so Taehyun now tried to think about the soft smiles and encouraging words of Yeonjun as he slowly went down the stairs.

Taehyun sat down next to his sister, who already had an insane amount of rice on her plate. Taehyun was taking some food himself, but wasn’t really in the mood to eat anything right now. God, he was scared now. He was so damn scared. He heard his mother talking, he heard her voice, but not really  _ what _ she said, by now she only sounded like buzzing. Only when his sister tapped him on the shoulder, he snapped out of his paralysis caused by the anxiety that was slowly taking over.

“Taehyunnie, mom asked you something.” Taehyun blinked at his sister, as if she was speaking a different language. He had to process the words spoken to him, then he slowly turned his head to his mother.

“You told me that you wanted to talk about something this morning?” His mother smiled at him, little wrinkles were forming around her eyes. Taehyun lowered his head again.

“Right.” He could perfectly control his voice right now, sounding as calm as always, but he couldn’t do anything about the dizziness, the fear swirling around in his head. “Mom, please remember that I love you. And that I always want the best for you, I’d never want to disappoint you, but-” The smile on his mother's face was fading with each word. “There are things that happen, that are out of anyone's control. Things that you can’t change just as much as I can’t. Things that are decided by nature and can- Will never be changed by anyone else.”

“Taehyun, what-” His mother laughed, in a worried way, a laugh you’d let out when you’re nothing but confused, and maybe in disbelief. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’ve met someone. Someone I fell in love with.” This was obviously a lie, but it served its purpose, making it easier to even come out.

“You have a girlfriend?” Her voice, though still confused, already sounded serious and scolding. Taehyun hesitated to even answer, well, even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. He could not make a single sound right now. She looked at him a little longer, waiting for a response. “Taehyun, do you-”   
“No,” he then finally blurted out, not lifting his head once in fear of his mothers look. “No, not a girlfriend." By now the air was thick, filled with tension and fear, and it seemed even more quiet than usual. "A boyfriend." Silence. A sting in his heart, he could feel his mothers stare piercing him without even looking at her face. He didn’t dare to say something else, but instead let his mother process.

“Taehyunnie?” It was his sister that spoke up now. “You like boys?” Taehyun slowly nodded, head still lowered. “That’s… nothing bad, right?”

“Sohee, please. You are too young to understand that.” The voice of his mother was ice cold, judging, yet unagitated, like the calm before a storm. “You’ll just need a wakeup call.”

“What is there not to understand though? What am I supposed to wake up from?” Taehyun now closed his eyes to stop them from burning.

“Taehyun, if you think you’ll live a good life with a man, you’re living nothing but a wishful dream. This is stupid.”

“Stupid,” Taehyun repeated, falling back in his chair. “What’s stupid about this? What am I supposed to do, live alone forever?”

“You are supposed to get your thoughts straight. Understand that whatever you seem to invision with your boyfriend is not the real life. You’ll have to find a girl sooner or later. Otherwise, how are you supposed to have a family? How is anything supposed to work out?” When Taehyun finally opened his eyes and looked at his mother, she was already focused on her food, even though her eyes were dark and cold. “There’s nothing more to say. We will find some girl f-”

“There’s nothing more to say? Are you serious?” Suddenly there was no fear anymore. No anxiety. But disappointment, and anger, god, there was so much heat in Taehyuns body.

“You will get over it eventually, Taehyun.”

“I’ve had over three years to ‘get over it’, and as you can see, I did not. I didn’t worry about coming out to you just to end up being invalidated by you, telling me to get over it.” His voice was now sharp, almost like a hiss, and his eyes were fixed on his mother who slowly put her cutlery away to then fold her hands.

“I am not in the mood to discuss your confusion with you-”

“It’s not  _ confusion _ , it’s reality. It’s me. You just don’t want to believe because it doesn’t fit the vision you have for me.”

“I’ve known you for 18 years, Taehyun, I know how you think and I know that you are sometimes going through phases that may last for a few years but-”

“So you know me better than I do myself?”

“ _ You _ are still young and probably can’t explain most things that are going on in your life. I have experience in life, I’ve seen more things than you.”

“Well apparently you have never seen a gay person before! Because we’re pretty much real and not going through a phase.”

“‘We’, you’re saying that as if you are one of those-”

“I  _ am _ , my god, that’s what I’m trying to tell you! I have a boyfriend and I fall in love with boys and I think boys are attractive and I want to kiss boys, and it’s been like that for  _ years _ , and you’re trying to tell me now that it’s just bullshit?”

“Taehyun, watch your vocabulary.”

“I do not give a fuck about my vocabulary. Do you realise that you’re hurting me?”

“I am hurting you?” That seemed to be the breaking point for his mother. She leaned forwards, staring Taehyun directly into his eyes, and her voice now finally lost it’s calm. “ _ I _ am hurting  _ you _ ? You’re hurting  _ me _ , you’re hurting your family with these delusional thoughts. I’m trying to help you, Taehyun, but you are acting like a little kid.”

“Help? How is any of this supposed to help me? Have you even listened to me?”

“Have  _ you _ listened to  _ me _ ? I told you living with a man will not give you the life you want to live-”

“It will give me the perfect life but but it destroys your heteronormative vision of what my life has to look like. You’re a control freak, and up until now everything worked out perfectly but guess what, there’s a part of me you won’t be able to control. There’s gonna be nothing you can do about me dating boys.”

“It’s something we can change.”   
“ _ How _ ?”

“We can talk.”

“Are you going to discuss the gayness out of me?”

“Taehyun, I know many nice girls and you can meet them.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“Just accept my god damn help.”

“You’re not  _ helping _ .”

“I could if you just listened to me.”

“I’ve tried listening but all that comes out of your mouth is complete bullshit.”

“Respect your mother.”

“Maybe just respect you fucking  _ son _ !” Each word had been louder than the one said previously, to the point that Taehyun was, for the first time in his life, yelling at his mother. And now both of them were silent. Then his mother huffed bitterly.

“What happened to my perfect son?”   
“What happened to my loving mother?”

“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “I’ve done so much for you, why are you doing this to me now? Why are you-” She narrowed her eyes, started shaking her head. “Go. Go to your room. I don’t want to see you today.” Taehyun just stared at her for a few seconds, not moving, saying nothing. “ _ Go already! _ ” Then he stood up. He looked to his father. He didn’t move, only had a sorry expression on his face. Then he looked to his sister. Tears were sparkling in her eyes, yet she was just as silent as their father. Taehyun nodded, turned away, and left the room.

The door closed behind Taehyun. He was alone. All alone in his room. And only now it all came crashing down. Only now his brain started repeating whatever was just said to him by his mother. Only now the anxiety, that had seemed to have disappeared when he got more heated, was creeping up again, almost paralyzing him. And even though it seemed to be dead silent, Taehyun was hearing buzzing, loud and somehow suffocating.

He sat down on his bed, or rather fell onto it, pushed his hair out of his face and almost wanted to pull it out. God. He was so dumb. He was so stupid. He shouldn’t have done it, he never should have done this stupid thing, he should have kept it a secret. He should have-

_ Fuck _ . Fuck all of this. His eyes burned, he couldn’t even see clearly anymore, it was a blurred mess in front of him, nothing but blurriness and- darkness. Why was it getting darker? Why was he losing his sense of direction, why didn’t his room feel like his room anymore but instead like a dark, crammy chamber, getting smaller with every passing second? Taehyun breathed, well he tried, he tried catching his breath, he  _ tried _ inhaling calmly, but it was easier said than done.

‘Breathe, Taehyun, don’t panic. Focus on your breath.’ He tried, he really tried. But it just didn’t seem possible to  _ not _ panic right now, about whatever. Until-

There was a buzz. A familiar buzz from somewhere next to him. His phone. He moved his hand around, still not properly being able to see, and finally found the phone. Another buzz. Someone was texting, thank god, he tried to clear his sight by wiping over his eyes, only now noticing that his face was wet from the tears that had been streaming down his face ever since he had entered his room. His hands were shaking and yet he was able to unlock his phone, open the messages and-

‘It’s you, oh god, it’s you. Of course it’s you.’ He wasn’t alone. He was here. The one person he loved more than anyone else. Kai.

  
  


**_Hyuka🧡💕_ **

_ Taehyunnie! How's my Taehyunnie doing?? _

_ dont ask why I'm asking hehe I jst felt my soulmate senses tingling >3< _

Soulmate senses. How silly. How beautifully silly. How stupidly, funnily silly Kai was.

_ hey _

_ r u ok? _

_ cuz like u looked kinda nervous at school??? _

_ i mean i should have asked u earlier right,,,,, _

Kai was just texting him out of nowhere, asking him if he was alright, just now, at the moment Taehyun was the least alright. Just without any reason, other than ‘soulmate senses’.

_ I _

_ I’m not _

_ noo, Hyunnie… _

_ can i help u? _

_ what happened :( _

_ wanna talk about it? _

_ i’m here for u ok? _

Just when he felt the most lonely. Kai was there.

_ I fucked up so bad _

_ what happened… _

_ do u wanna talk about it?? _

_ its late but i can come over _

_ my baby dont be saaad :( _

Silly boy, who was younger than him, softer than him, more childish than him, and yet called him ‘his baby’ whenever he was sad. Because he knew that that made him feel loved, and safe, and happy. And for the first time, Taehyun didn’t just silently cry, he let out a sob, and another one, he fell into his pillows and started sobbing. God, he was there, of course Kai was always there, even when his own god damn mother wasn’t.

His phone kept on buzzing but at this point Taehyun knew that he probably couldn't even make out the words on his screen. And even thought he wanted to tell Kai what happened, he wanted him to comfort him, just hearing the messages coming in were enough for him to feel less lonely. Until they stopped. For maybe a minute. And then his phone rang.

Taehyun squinted his eyes, and even though he barely saw his screen through his watery eyes, he knew it was Kai who was calling. He accepted the call, and barely could hold back breaking out into sobbing again when he heard the voice of his best and only friend, of his soulmate, quiet but worried, almost hectic.

“Hyunnie, please tell me you’re ok.” Taehyun wanted to answer, yet he wasn't really able to say anything, to make any noise other than crying, and that would worry Kai even more, right? "Say something, Taehyunnie, let me know that you're ok, please…" God, he  _ wanted  _ to say something but he was holding back the sobs so desperately, almost holding his breath.

"Please be ok… I don't want you to be sad, ok? I want you to be happy, please. I'm worried about you, ok?" He paused again, waiting for a response. Then he shakily exhaled. "Maybe you can't say anything right now, but- You can hear me, right? Whatever is going on right now, I'm here. I'm always here for you, Tyun. I want you to be happy. I’m here if you need me. I’ll always be here.”

It broke Taehyuns heart. It broke his heart and his silence. He could no longer hold back, and his crying was audible again.

“Taehyunnie? My baby, oh god- Don’t- don’t cry please, I can’t stand to hear you cry-” Taehyun almost choked on his damn sobs, and even more when he heard Kais voice breaking. “Please take a breath, ok? Breathe for me, Taehyunnie, I’m here.” Why was he even crying? Why was it so hard for him to fight for air? He buried his face in one of his pillows in hopes of choking his cries. “Do you hear me? Taehyunnie… Please breathe, I’m here, it’s gonna be alright, ok? You’re not alone.”

He wasn’t. He was not alone, even though it had felt like it, even though his mother made him feel like he was, it wasn’t true, Kai was there. Kai was always there. He had always been there for years, and cried with him so many times, and he was there right now, talking to Taehyun, while he was only helpless and vulnerable.

“Kai-” Taehyun was finally able to somehow form words through his sobs. “I love you so much, I-”

“I love you too. Try to focus on your breathing.” Kai clearly tried to talk more steadily to calm his soulmate down, even though he seemed to be shaken himself. “Can you try take a deep breath for me?” Taehyun did as he said, tried to take a breath a couple of times, and he finally got his sobbing under control as his breathing got more steady.

“Is it getting better? Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I-” Taehyun tried to dry up his face a little with the sleeves of his sweater, then tried to sit up more or less straight. “I really did something stupid.”

“I’m glad to hear your voice, Tyun… Do you wanna tell me what happened?”

“I-” Taehyun took a few deep breaths, trying not to break out in crying again. “I told my mom.” Silence for a few seconds, then Kais voice appeared back from the speakers of his phone.

“About Yeonjun?”

“Everything. About my sexuality.”

“And she… didn’t react well?”

“...She didn’t.”

“Taehyunnie… I’m sorry…”

“She said things that just hurt me, I- I’ve never felt so left alone. By my own mother. And yet I feel guilty? For ruining-” Taehyun stopped, leaned his head back to stop the tears from travelling down his cheeks. “Everything I guess.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

“But I’ve just been told I did.”

“But you didn’t. Taehyunnie, listen to me, ok? You didn’t ruin anything by being you. I’m really proud that you’re so brave. I understand that you’re not having it as easy as me for example, and coming out is an  _ insane _ task for you. But you did it. And revealed your beautiful self. And no matter what your mom said, it’s not true, you didn’t ruin anything. You did something great, and brave, and you are strong for doing so.”

“I’m not strong though, look at me, I’m- Im crying, my head hurts, I’m a mess, I-”

“Taehyun, no. Crying doesn’t make you weak. Expressing your emotions does not make you weak.” Kais voice was soothing, even through the phone, and yet it was determined. “You’re human. Someone hurt you and you’re upset and now you need to let it out, and that’s perfectly fine. You don’t need to hide your emotions all the time, it’ll only break you. I think that’s something you’ll have to realise. It’s valid to- Well, feel. You might be an actor but that doesn’t mean that you have to play a role off stage too. It’s ok to be you. To be  _ imperfect _ , even though showing emotion obviously doesn’t mean imperfection.”

Taehyun was just listening. He sat there with his face still soaked in salty tears, his phone in his hands and the eyes closed to avoid his headache getting stronger. And he listened to Kai, his healing words, his voice he had grown to love more than anything else. Once again he couldn’t stop himself from crying, but this time out of pure gratitude for his soulmate.

“Kai?” Taehyun smiled to himself, through his tears, because god, even though he was so alone just a few minutes ago, he now knew, he wasn’t. He had someone, listening and talking to him, comforting him.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Taehyunnie. You’re my favourite person in the whole world.”

“Arg, stop... You’re also my favourite person.”

“Ooh, who’s gonna tell Yeonjun!” Taehyun heard his best friend giggle through the phone, and more and more happiness filled up his heart.

“You know what I mean.  _ You’re _ different, you’re my best friend, my-”

“One true love? Husband?” Kai slightly gasped “Am I your constant?”

“My soulmate, Kai. You are my soulmate.”

“Oh man, Taehyun… I don’t even know what to say…”

“You’ve said enough already. You’ve said so much and I’m so thankful.”

“I wish I could hug you right now, Hyunnie.”

“Hug me tomorrow, ok?”

“Yes, I will. I will hug my little Taehyunnie as tight as possible. I will hug the sadness out of you. If anything ever happens, you can come to us, my moms love you and they will accept you as their new son anytime, yes? And-” Kai paused, as if he was to make sure that Taehyun was really listening. “I’m so so  _ fucking _ proud of you.” Taehyun couldn’t help himself but laugh. Well, chuckle maybe, because it wasn’t  _ laughing _ , he was still crying, he was crying more again, but he was chuckling too. He felt stronger. Not alone anymore.

“Thank you so much, Kai, thank you-” Then someone knocked on the door and Taehyun froze. “I- Let’s talk more tomorrow.” He lowered his voice.

“Oh, sure. I love you, Hyunnie. I’m proud, yeah? See you tomorrow!” Taehyun ended the call and it hurt his heart. Someone knocked once again.

“Taehyun.” His mother just called out his name, her voice was monotone. He quickly dried his face as best as he could with his sweater. “Let me come in.”

Taehyun sighed. He didn’t want to let her in, but he felt more powerful now. If there was anything she wanted to talk about now, anything she wanted to make him feel guilty with, he’d be strong enough to endure it, and to speak up for himself.

“Come in.”

The door opened slowly and Taehyuns mother entered, yet not daring to step in further. Her face was almost emotionless, but her eyes were tired and red, indicating that she too had cried.

“Can we talk?”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore today.” Thankfully Taehyun had control over his voice again, and it sounded cold, though slightly hoarse.

“Please, let’s talk this out.”

“What much do you still want to talk about?”

“I want you to understand me, and I want to understand you.” His mother still didn’t move, but closed the door behind her now.

“Dad told you to come here, right?” She stayed silent, which Taehyun took as a ‘yes’. He was still mad, he was  _ hurt _ , but knowing that his mother also cried because of him- It was painful. And so he gave in. “So. What do I have to… understand?” His mother sighed, then pointed at a chair at his desk.

“Can I sit down?” Taehyun nodded. “You see… You're still young. You’ve got a long life to live, and a lot of things to experience. And you’ll meet a lot of people, who knows, maybe you’ll find a girl. It just- feels not right. That you suddenly… like boys.”

“It’s not  _ suddenly _ though. I found out three years ago, and realised that it has always been that way.”

“You didn’t-  _ look _ or  _ act _ like you were… homosexual, you know?”

“That’s because the way you look or act does not determine your sexuality.” Taehyun huffed. “I was also scared. I tried to hide it. Staring or getting flustered by boys, I had to hide that in fear of anyone finding out and- Reacting the way you did.” He tried his best to stay calm because he could tell that his mother was here for an actual conversation. This was his opportunity to  _ properly _ explain all of this, to come out once again without getting hurt. “You invalidated my thoughts and fears and feelings I’ve had for years by saying that all of this will be over some day and I’ll need to find a girl. I know that I- I don’t fit into the vision you had for me all this time, but I was hoping that you could maybe understand not everything will go as you’ve planned it. I was hoping that you could let go of these plans to watch me become someone I truly feel comfortable with.”

“I really just want to help you, Taehyun.” His mother nervously shifted in her seat, avoiding eye contact. Was she… sorry?

“Then help me. I want you to help me, not by trying to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ my sexuality but my making it easier for me to be myself. I know that you only want the best for me but- I don’t need to have the ‘optimal’ life. There’s no need for me to have a rich and successful life and a traditional family. I’m happy by being myself. And I know you’ve worked hard all these years to create a perfect future for me but at the end of the day, it’s still me who has my life in my hands. It’s me who has to- Live with it.”

“I’ve- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I understand you. I get you, but- It doesn’t feel right to me.”

“It does to me, mom.”

“And that’s the most important thing. You’re right, I’ll have to deal with it. I should have reacted differently, but I’ve had a stressed day, I-”

“Mom…” Taehyun finally climbed out of his bed, all his fears and anxieties had long disappeared. He felt ok again. She, well, both of them, really just had to listen. “It’s ok, maybe I should have tried to- To be nicer?”

“No, no, you were right, you were hurt by me, and I- it was my fault. It was me.” She shook her head, it became apparent that she was ashamed of her actions and words. “I still don’t know how to properly accept all of this. I don’t know if I can watch all of this, your relationship and all, happen like it’s a normal thing. It’s not right, in my head, it doesn’t make sense and it scares me, but you’ll be happy, right? And I love you. You’re my son.” Now he stood up to. The two looked at each other, both visibly emotional, eyes still red, head still hurting. And Taehyuns mother pulled him into a hug, a tight and loving one. “You’re still my perfect son.”

“You’re still my loving mom. I’m sorry it had to happen this way.”

“It’s fine. I should be sorry.” When they let go, Taehyun sat down on his bed again.

“Do you want to meet him?”

“Your boyfriend?”

“Yes. You’ve always said that if I get a partner, you’ll invite them to dinner.” His mother visibly hesitated, but then sighed and finally smiled again.

“Well, it was a promise right? Yes. Let’s invite him. What’s his name?”

“Yeonjun. He’s amazing. You’ll like him.” Well, actually he wasn’t really sure if she’d like him, considering that he was pretty much a trouble maker.

“Yeonjun, I see. Then… Let him come over on friday. We will meet him.” She smiled, yet brows slightly furrowed. “Tell him, alright?”

“Yes.”

“Should I warm up some food for you?”

“Please do.” Now her smile was warm and genuine again. A smile he had missed for this past hour.

“Then I’ll leave again. I’m sorry. But thank you for listening to me.

“Thank you for listening too.” Taehyun watched his mother nod to him again and leave. It was weird, they’ve talked, it seemed so easy to talk about, and yet he knew that there was still disappointment lingering in his mother's heart. Taehyun sighed, leaned back and ended up laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He still felt hurt, yes, but by now he felt less guilty. He knew that it was going to take a while, but his mother would one day be ok with all of it. Maybe once she knew Yeonjun- or whatever boy Taehyun would actually one day be in a real relationship with, she’d be ok. He didn’t really want to think about it more. Maybe he was tired from crying. He sighed once again, then looked for his phone.

**_Yeonjun Hyung_ **

_ Yeonjun? _

_ hi there! _

_ Want to come over on friday? _

_ For family dinner _

_ oh _

_ OH _

_ did you do it? _

_ yes _

_ how did it go? _

_ well _

_ it was _

_ hard _

_ you ok? _

_ you can always talk to me if you have to _

_ it’s ok _

_ I’m fine now _

_ im glad _

_ you did good _

_ im proud of you, you know _

_ not everyone actually has the guts to come out _

_ and no matter what the outcome was for you today _

_ youre still very brave _

  
  


_ stop, I’m getting soft… _

_ I’ve gotten so much support _

_ from you and Kai, it’s crazy _

_ I’m really thankful I can call you guys my friends _

_ *friend and boyfriend _

_ shdjksjfh _

_ right _

_ so is my boyfriend joining our family dinner on friday? _

_ your boyfriend would NEVER miss a family dinner _

_ and hell behave well and not be an asshole in front of you family <3 _

_ wow _

_ my boyfriend is really great, huh? _

_ he is! _

_ and your boyfriends boyfriend is even greater <3 _

_ aaah _

_ you’re sweet _

_ i sure am ;))) _

_ anyways uuuh _

_ you did good, k? _

_ you dont even gotta tell me what happened or anything _

_ n what your family said _

_ but im hella proud _

_ thanks. _

_ I’m- _

_ proud of myself too _

_ as you should taehyunnie _

_ as you should _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was one of the hardest chapters to write, because I don't really know if the emotions were conveyed well enough and also because I personally haven't ever had any bad experiences with coming out (thankfully), so I didn't quite know how it eeven... feels?  
> But I'll have to admit, after getting a lot of feedback on twt for this, I am much more confident in this chapter and like it a lot more than I did after initially finishing it...
> 
> Yeah, that's about it. Thank you all so much for reading n supporting <3


	7. Chapter 7

On this Thursday noon, Yeonjun and Beomgyu were sitting on the wall somewhere behind their school, hidden by bushes, waiting for the lunch break to finally start. Today they were alone, which didn’t happen a lot, because their friend group was quite big, but most of them had important exams today, so they either had them right now or simply ditched school completely for the day. And so, it was just the two of them chilling at their favourite place to skip school.

Beomgyu didn’t really pay too much attention to Yeonjun as he was reading, some comic or manga, so Yeonjun quickly grew bored. Him and Taehyun would meet up again at lunch break, hanging out a crowded place Yeonjun knew a lot of Hyunjis friends would be, but there was a bit of time to kill until the break actually started.

And so he just sat there, doing pretty much nothing but scrolling through his phone. He stared at the sky, then tried to spot any mystery figures in the clouds, and pure boredom was overcoming him, he was almost a little pissed that Beomgyu would rather read the manga he had read like a million times before already than entertain his friend. But as if he had read his friends mind, Beomgyu put the book away and looked at Yeonjun.

“You’re spending time with Taehyun again today, right?”

“Yeah. We’re meeting up at lunch.” Yeonjun stretched his arms and then eyed Beomgyu. “You don’t have a problem with that, right? That I’m spending so much time with him?”

“Of course not, I don’t mind you spending time with your partner.” Beomgyu put his book back into his bag, looked like he wanted to say something else, but hesitated, and Yeonjun noticed that something was clearly off.

“Are you sure that you don’t mind?”

“I don’t really, I don’t give a shit if you spend time with people you like.”

“But?”

“But? Well.” Beomgyu sighed. “Something’s off. Between you two.”

“Oh.” Yeonjun was pretty much ready for another ‘He only likes you because you’re popular’ talk, and he had his heart eyes and ‘I know he really loves me!’ whining all set up, because Beomgyu wasn’t the only one who mistrusted Taehyun slightly. “Well let me tell you, everything between us is pretty much great.”

“That’s not really what I mean though.” Beomgyu seemed nervous, playing with the sleeves of his striped sweater. “You know you can trust me, right? Like you could tell me  _ any _ secret and I’d keep it till I’m dead.”

“Yes? I do, Gyu, what are you trying to say?” Honestly, Yeonjun already had a suspicion. He didn’t know how or why Beomgyu would possibly get behind all this, the whole fake relationship thing, but if he somehow did, it would- well, it wouldn’t even be that bad, and yet Yeonjuns heart started beating a little too fast at the thought of his suspicion being right.

“It doesn’t really add up to me. Like, I’m sorry that I’m saying this but it’s weird. You two are like day and night, I’ve never even seen you  _ look _ at him before, and then all of the sudden you’re in love.” Oh god. Beomgyu had a sorry, somewhat confused expression on his face. A look he had when he was about to say something mean but probably true. “Just when you introduced him to us, it was weird. You never did that so ‘formally’ with Hyunji, she was just with you one day, and you just mentioned that she was your girlfriend on the side, if anyone asked, you only got so- open with her after a week or so.”

“And what are you trying to tell me now?” Yeonjun tried to sound slightly annoyed to not look suspicious, but honestly he was just impressed and maybe slightly anxious.

“Just that there’s something weird. I feel like I don’t know everything there is to this story. It’s also weird that you always have the need to pick him up and be with him all the time, you mostly spend your time at populated areas in school, as if you wanted to show him off.” He once again hesitated, but Yeonjun just kept silent, looking at Beomgyu, indicating for him to continue. “I’m not saying that your whole relationship means nothing to you. There’s a way you look at him when he’s close to you that simply does not look fake in the slightest, but-” Hold up, did he really? He must have been a really good actor, or- Well, maybe he did sometimes look at Taehyun just a little bit too fondly, but who could blame him, he  _ was _ an incredibly pretty boy after all, looking so delicate and tiny, yet effortlessly ethereal-

“You did not listen to me, right?”

“What?” Yeonjun shook his head as if to gain consciousness again after zoning out.

“I said that I feel like something about this relationship is not right. I’m not claiming that you’re lying, but something’s not really genuine about it. And I’d just… really like to know what’s going on.”

“I-” He knew it. Beomgyu knew it and at this point Yeonjun wasn’t even sure if lying to him, well,  _ acting _ in front of him would still be necessary. Beomgyu knew. “So what you’re basically saying is that me and Taehyun- That the two of us-”

“That you set all of this up. I don’t know, maybe to keep your image, maybe to make Hyunji jealous, I’m not sure why, but I feel like you’re pretending.” If anyone else would have made these claims, Yeonjun would have probably just punched them in the face, but he knew that Beomgyu meant it in the most concerned way possible. He wasn’t trying to ‘expose’ Yeonjun for his plan or make fun of him. He was an attentive friend who just tried to find out what was going on. And so Yeonjun sighed.

“You’re not telling anyone about this, right? Like everything I’m going to tell you will stay between us.”

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Beomgyu grinned. “You two aren’t as in love as you pretend to be.”

“We’re like- not in love at all to be honest. This entire thing is staged, all of it. We’re just barely friends.”

“Hold the fuck up… Like y’all just met? No love? No crush? Not at all?”

“No, nothing. We are just starting to be friends and he’s really nice but there’s like, no feelings. We are business partners.”

“Sure.” Now Beomgyu crossed his arms, eyeing his best friend and smirking. “No feelings, that’s why you look at him all lovey dovey when he’s with you. Or you got all flustered when Min was telling us what happened between at your basketball practise or whatever.”

“Geez, I’m just better at acting than you might think! I’m really into this, because not gonna lie, it’s more fun than I expected. Like, being all cuddly and annoying people with it.”

“Ah, yes! Fun! That’s what the people nowadays call it! Back in my days, it was called ‘love’, but you youths, you’re not familiar with that anymore.”

“Youths!” Yeonjun groaned. “First of all, I’m literally older than you, and second, it’s literally just a silly plan for a month? He’s cute but like, look at him. He’s not really my type, isn’t he? Like I don’t think we would work out in real life.” When Beomgyu still stared at him with a disbelieving grin, Yeonjun just decided to give up trying to convince his friend how all of this was literally just an act and moved on. “So we’re ‘dating’ basically to piss off Hyunji but making the whole school think that I’m not single and him having a reason to come out to his parents is like a nice bonus. We’re doing it for a month, until then Hyunji won’t give a fuck about me anymore, then we break up. That’s our plan.”

“I see. I mean, ok, I feel like it could get you in some trouble, but alright, man. That’s an interesting plan.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“Well, if someone finds out and exposes you, people might get  _ kinda _ mad and you’ll look like clown. Also, if someone catches feelings-”

“Beomgyu!” Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Stop with that ‘feeling’ stuff. Also no one's gonna find out, come on, we’re good actors and you probably only found out because you’re close to me and that comic you’re practically absorbing every fucking day is making your brain grow.”

“I don’t think my burning hatred for Light Yagami is making my brain grow-”

“Yeah, I don’t really care about which anime boy is making you lose brain cells. You get what I mean. You’re really the only person who knows and  _ will _ know.”

“Wait.” Beomgyu gazed at Yeonjun scoldingly. “What about Soobin?”

“Uhm-” Right, Soobin didn’t know anything about this. And honestly, he was way too deep into this whole story, too excited and convinced of their relationship. “I think I’m not gonna tell him. He’s already our biggest fanboy, so like- He’d only be sad if I told him.”

“Ok then, whatever, but you’re like, lying to you best friend. You can't  _ always _ keep that a secret. And the day he finds out you will be fucked."

"It'll be ok.  _ If _ he ever finds out it won't be a big deal, right?"

"I don't know, Yeonjun. I feel like this could go wrong easily. Faking a whole relationship is honestly kinda a big deal.” Yeonjun just shook his head.

“I don’t see a problem. I guess you’re just overthinking.” He grinned at his friend, then checked the time. “I’ll leave in ten.”

“Ten minutes is enough to tell me how all of that even started.” Beomgyu obviously wasn’t done with all of this, and rightfully so, he wanted to know if all of his suspicions were right.

Yeonjun started telling him everything, how he came up with his plan, how he convinced Taehyun to actually do it and also how they were starting to become pretty good friends. And Beomgyu explained how he had suspected that Yeonjun was probably into Taehyun and both had made a deal to pretend to date so that Yeonjun wouldn’t look like a loser after the breakup. Which was all true, except for the part where Yeonjun liked Taehyun, obviously, yet Beomgyu wasn’t really convinced of that.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun had talked enough about this quite weird situation, and Boomgyu had once again reminded him that not telling Soobin could become problematic at some point in time, but Yeonjun was pretty sure that everything was going to work out just fine.

Now was not the time to worry about that anyways, as he was on his way to Taehyuns classroom, ready to pick him up. He was a little late and already spotted Taehyun waiting outside of the room, without Kai on his side. No one else was around either, and yet Yeonjun greeted his fake boyfriend with an excited smile. A smile Taehyun gave back, though a little tired.

“Hyung, hi!” He nodded at Yeonjun and as soon as he was close enough, opened his arms, inviting him for a hug. Hugging Taehyun was nice. And it was real, which was probably the best part about it. Even though it had always been just a short hug as a greeting, it felt really… good. And close somehow. Maybe it was because of Taehyuns height or his rather small and delicate frame, but when Yeonjun had him in his arms for just two seconds or so, he felt strong, like he wanted to protect the boy he was holding from any evil. And weirdly enough, that feeling was even stronger today, as Taehyun held onto him just a little bit longer than usual.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Taehyun now let go of Yeonjun, smiling at him, and yet something seemed off. “I’m just tired. I didn’t get so much sleep last night.” The two of them started walking down the hallway, and when more students started filling up the hallways, Taehyun quickly took Yeonjuns hand.

“Oh? How so?”

“Was thinking.” Taehyun shrugged, wanting to seem as if nothing important was really going on, but Yeonjun could already assume what he was thinking about, and it was definitely something important.

“About… Your family and all? Your mom?” Taehyun sighed, yet kept a smile on his face.

“Right. She really tried to make it all better and apologize I guess but- I don’t know, it still kind of hurts.” Yeonjun nodded as he softly brushed his thumb over the back of Taehyuns hand. “Let’s not talk about it though.”

“Okay, sure. We don’t have to talk about it, you told me everything yesterday.” Yeonjun smiled at Taehyun reassuringly but the boys eyes only looked tired and almost a bit dull. Yeonjun tightened his grip a little more. “Where should we go today?” He quickly tried to change the topic, hoping to cheer up Taehyun as soon as possible.

“You tell me, you know where all the people hang out.”

“Yeah- Not sure where Hyunji is right now but I do know where a bunch of her friends like to hang out. Let’s go outside?” Taehyun nodded in response. It wasn’t like he seemed sad, but rather still exhausted. He had texted him everything that happened yesterday and honestly Yeonjun was impressed. He was impressed by Taehyuns bravery to come out despite knowing that maybe it wouldn’t end well. That was something not everyone could do, Yeonjun included. And at the same time he felt sorry, wishing that the reaction would have only been better, and less upsetting.

When the two of them left the building and stepped outside, Taehyuns eyes still seemed as tired, though he was really  _ trying _ to not look so- done. Yeonjun sighed and let go of his hand to instead put his arm around Taehyun, which made walking a little harder, but it wasn’t a long way to go anyways, so it would be fine.

“And where exactly are we going? What’s our stage today?”

“‘Stage’, I like that.” Yeonjun smiled. “We’re going to the vending machines near the basketball court. I spent a lot of time with Hyunji there back then and I know that her friends like to hang around the basketball court. Not sure if she and her girl gang also occasionally go there though.”

“That’s smart of you.”

“I’m smart. I’ve got everything always planned out.” He grinned proudly and pulled Taehyun closer, just the tiniest bit.

Their final destination was indeed just a minute or two away and when they arrived at the vending machine that sold all kinds of more or less healthy snacks, Yeonjun let go of Taehyun to lean on the wall one or two meters away from the machine. His eyes quickly scanned the area around them. There were really a few familiar faces, people he recognized as Hyunjis friends, on the basketball court, and some of them had already spotted the couple. And- there was Hyunjis very best friend, a girl she was usually always around, watching some people play. The main target herself didn’t seem to be there yet though, and Yeonjun wondered if she maybe also was writing an exam like a bunch of Yeonjuns friends did. If that was the case, she should be here in maybe five to ten minutes, assuming that she was to join her best friend for the break.

Taehyun had leaned next to him on the wall, and when Yeonjun looked at him, he was just blankly staring in front of him, head lowered so that the sun wouldn’t blind him too much. He closed his eyes for a second, and the way the sunlight hit his golden skin almost left Yeonjun breathless for just a single heartbeat. Taehyun was pretty, yes, but right now he simply looked gorgeous. And yet exhausted.

“Can I do something for you?” It seemed to have taken a moment for Taehyun to realise that he was spoken to, but then he opened his eyes and looked up to Yeonjun.

“No, it’s ok. Don’t worry too much. I’m just so tired. I’m just going to go to bed early tonight.” Yeonjun really wanted to do something for his friend, but what  _ was _ he supposed to do? Let him sleep in school? The only thing he felt like was right to do was to make him comfortable. 

And so, Yeonjun simply put an arm around Taehyuns shoulder, pulling him closer to him. For a moment he wasn’t certain if it really made Taehyun comfortable as the boy hesitated to move for a few seconds, but he then ended up putting both arms around Yeonjuns torso, hugging him closely, and Yeonjun felt his heart beat a hundred times faster for some reason.

Yeonjun moved his hand up to Taehyuns head, playing with his soft hair, twirling some light brown strands between his fingers. And even though he wanted to just watch Taehyun resting there, his arms wrapped around Yeonjuns body, he lifted his head slowly, just to check if someone was watching. A bunch of people did.  _ Oh _ .

For some reason, this hug didn’t feel as… nice anymore now. Like it lost his meaning. Because he was pretty sure Taehyun only, well, came so close to him because he caught people staring. Which should have been ok, considering that that was the whole goal. And yet, Yeonjun had thought that this might be an actual genuine gesture of- friendship. Of the closeness that had formed between them by now. But it probably wasn’t.

Yeonjun kept his head up, still scanning his surroundings, trying to spot anyone else that was looking at the two of them, other than Hyunjis friend group. His gaze moved over to the main building, out of which a bunch of people were coming now, apparently the tests a lot of students had been writing were really over now. Which probably meant-

Yeah. There she was, in the crowd, already moving in their direction, eyes on her best friends on the basketball court. Hyunji. She hadn’t spotted Yeonjun and Taehyun yet, but probably would as soon as he reached her friends, who were still staring in the most obvious manner, most definitely talking shit about the two. Yeonjuns fingers froze and he lifted his hand from his fake boyfriends head to get his attention.

“I think Hyunji is on her way.”

“Has she seen us yet?”

“I don’t think so.” Yeonjun slightly lowered his head so it wouldn’t be as obvious when he looked over to the group of girls that now more or less excitedly greeted their queen bee. “They’re just now starting to talk.” This situation strongly reminded him of last week, when Taehyun was sitting on his lap, watching the girls talk about them. Yeonjun got more excited, because both he and Taehyun were ready to put on the greatest show for Hyunji and her clique. “And I think they’re talking about us.”

Now Taehyun did something to Yeonjun quite surprising. He chuckled, then loosened his hug and looked up to Yeonjun. His eyes were still quite tired, but there was a fierce gleam, a sparkling that was determined and almost excited. If Yeonjun had to name this sparkle, he would have called it something like the ‘I’m ready to act like the most in love boyfriend ever and fool this bitch’-look. Nice.

“Tell me when she’s watching.” Taehyun now positioned himself in front of Yeonjun, letting his arms rest on Yeonjuns shoulders. Yeonjun didn’t really know how to act by now, kind of panicking, trying to avert his attention to the girls furiously talking about them, but how  _ could _ he when Taehyun was this close, confidently looking into his eyes, and despite his tiredness,  _ smiling _ ? Yeonjun couldn’t really move for a second, losing himself by simply eyeing Taehyuns face, his pretty features- he eventually snapped out of it, and decided to play his role, moving his hands up to Taehyuns waist and gently placing them there. He then, finally, lifted his gaze from Taehyun to quickly look over to the girls, and in that exact second, Hyunji turned around to them, a look on her face so annoyed and disgusted, Yeonjun couldn't help himself but to grin triumphantly.

“She’s looking.” Yeonjun lowered his head again to face Taehyun, who was scanning his face, particularly his- lips? Oh god.

“Good.” Taehyuns hands slid up to Yeonjuns face, cupping his cheeks. “Can I?”

‘Of course, any time, just do it, go ahead, no need to ask.’ Yeonjun was  _ thinking _ a lot right now, but the only thing he really got to  _ say _ was-

“Yeah, uh- Sure!”

And Taehyun did it. He pulled Yeonjun closer, and just before their lips were touching, he hesitated, softly exhaled, and Yeonjun could feel his breath on his skin, waiting for Taehyun to finally close the distance of bare millimeters between their faces. It was maybe a second, barely two, and yet Yeonjun got impatient. So when Taehyun eventually moved forward the last bit and their lips touched, it felt even more anticipated in a way.

Like last time, Taehyuns lips were soft. Yet the thing that was different from last time was that it didn’t feel clumsy at all. Instead it was confident, and almost natural, the way Taehyun slightly tilted this head while his thumbs were brushing over Yeonjuns cheeks, the way Yeonjun pulled Taehyuns body closer to his own. It was right. Absolutely everything about this was right.

Except for the feelings, the joy and excitement Yeonjun was feeling now. Because he really shouldn’t enjoy kissing Taehyun, his  _ fake _ boyfriend, as much as he did now. Maybe he was just starved for a kiss, physical affection, after barely even kissing his ex in the past months. Or maybe it wasn’t actually the  _ kiss _ that felt so good but the knowledge that Hyunji was probably going crazy right now.

It surely wasn’t Taehyun that made him feel- like this. Or maybe it was just the fact that Taehyun was a surprisingly good kisser, which was quite impressive, considering that he only had like, three kisses so far.

Yeonjun was convinced that one of these had to be the reason why his heart was about to burst, and yet at the same time he wanted to go on, continue to have his lips practically melt into Taehyuns like this.

Their kiss now was longer than the last two they shared before, but when Taehyun slowly pulled away, it felt like all of this was still a little too short. Taehyuns hands stayed on Yeonjus face, and so did his gaze, eyeing the lips he had just kissed, then looking directly into Yeonjuns eyes. There was only a slight blush on Taehyuns face and the absolutely calmest expression, yet Yeonjun was pretty sure that he himself was glowing, judging by the heat he felt in his cheeks and ears. For real? Was he blushing over a stupid kiss with just some pretty theatre boy, a kiss that had no meaning to it for either of them?

“Was that ok?” Taehyun now removed his hands from Yeonjuns cheeks and instead placed them on his shoulders again.

“It was great.”

“What?”

“A great idea, I mean. Hyunji looks-” Yeonjuns eyes rushed over to Hyunji and her friends. The sight was quite funny, because even though Hyunji had her back turned to them, she looked furious, one of her friends was patting her back, another one was glancing at Yeonjun in the most deadly way he had ever seen a girl stare. “She’s mad.” Yeonjun forced a smile on his face, despite feeling rather- confused right now. “Is it your plan to just always kiss me whenever she’s around?”

“Well!” A playful grin appeared on Taehyuns lips. “It works great, right?”

“It does.” Yeonjun wanted to say something else, opened his mouth but ended up not daring to say it. Yet Taehyun had noticed it already and was looking at him, patiently waiting for him to speak up. “You’re kind of- not a bad kisser.”

“Oh-” Now Taehyun seemed to be flustered too, a light shade of pink appearing on his cheeks. “Thank you?” Then he chuckled. “I can do it again any time.”

“Huh?” Yeonjun widened his eyes, heat rushing through his entire body.

“Oh god, Yeonjun, I’m joking! Did I break you?”

“Leave me, my stupid gay brain isn’t gonna work properly when you suddenly threaten to kiss me!”

“Threaten?” Taehyun laughed. He genuinely laughed, so sweetly, with these little wrinkles appearing around his eyes. There was no tiredness left in his expression. “That sounds like you’re scared of it.”

He was. It was true, he was scared. Scared of not understanding the reason for his excitement over these kisses. He was scared that it might become a  _ need _ for him to kiss Taehyun. And he was- honestly scared that it wasn't just the kisses he liked but the  _ boy _ that was kissing him. He was sure it wouldn't happen, he was convinced he would not catch feelings like Beomgyu was worried might happen, but he was scared nonetheless. Yet he forced himself to smile.

“Well it does leave me a bit flustered, so-”   
“Does it? It shouldn’t.”

“You’re blushing too though…”

“Because-” Taehyun immediately lowered his head, maybe to hide his face from Yeonjun. “-you literally just said that I’m a good kisser, how else am I supposed to react? Especially because we just kissed like two times!”

“Three times! You gave me a kiss last week before I dropped you off at your chemistry class or something!”

“Still, I don’t know if that’s enough for you to judge.”

“So you want more kisses or-”

“I don’t really _ want _ it, but I know that we probably  _ have _ to.” Taehyun finally lifted his head again to look Yeonjun straight in the eyes. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t  _ want _ it at all, I’m ok with it happening, because it’s part of our act, I wouldn’t care if we didn’t do it though-” Taehyun looked at Yeonjun as if he was awaiting a response or any sign that he understood his rambling. But honestly Yeonjun was just- not disappointed, that wasn’t right. He was not disappointed but it was still kind of… sad? It made sense, of course. It was a part of their role. And so it was just kind of a chore. And it was probably awkward for Taehyun, especially considering that he had never kissed anyone before.

"Anyways, let's stop talking about this. Talking about it is weirder than actually doing it." Taehyun sighed, letting his arms slide off of Yeonjuns shoulders. Yeonjun hesitated a before he also let go of Taehyuns waist, and the two created a little more distance between them. Taehyun proceeded to step back next to Yeonjun, leaning against the wall and letting his head rest on his fake boyfriends shoulder.

Their hands were just kind of hanging next to each other and whenever they brushed against each other, Yeonjun felt the need to just take Taehyuns, yet hesitated in doing so. Yet before Yeonjun could make the move, Taehyun beat him to it, quickly grabbing Yeonjuns hand and holding it tightly.

"Is everything ok?"

"Let's leave."

"What? Why, are you ok?"

"Yeonjun, please-"

"Kang and Choi! The schools favourite couple!" Taehyuns grip tightened when a third voice began speaking to them. Yeonjuns gaze flickered up, meeting the eyes of another person, one he absolutely despised.

"Han Kiwoon. Still lonely, I see." Yeonjun straightened his back and lifted his chin.

"Fuck off, Choi. You piss me off, you know that?" Han Kiwoon approached the two, his narrow eyes fixed on Taehyun despite talking to Yeonjun.

"Why? We're literally just breathing, what’s your problem.” Yeonjun wanted to take a step closer to Kiwoon, but that would have meant that he had to let go of Taehyuns hand, and he didn’t want to take that little bit of comfort away from him.

Kiwoon had already touched Taehyun once and so it was only logical that maybe he  _ was _ slightly scared of him, hence why he wanted to leave earlier. But it was too late now. Yeonjun wasn’t going to leave.

“Maybe I want you to stop breathing.”

“Woah.” Yeonjun huffed. “You’re so bold. You’ve never had a problem with me, why so obsessed now?”

“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that you’re dating a fucking gay nerd? Or maybe that you think you can threaten me to beat me up in front of everyone and then leave? Or maybe all of it?” Kiwoon crossed his arms as he took a step closer, an ugly grin on his face. “I could knock you out, you  _ and _ Kang, you know that.”

“Before you ever even get to touch him again, I will have broken both of your arms already,” Yeonjun hissed, squeezing Taehyuns hand. That son of a bitch could go ahead and talk shit about Yeonjun but if he was ever about to get close to Taehyun again, he was ready to break every fucking bone in his body if he had to.

“Don’t act like a knight in shining armour, Choi. You’re bluffing, you can’t do shit. Stop making a fool out of yourself by trying to defend some useless nerd.”

“Shut the fuck up, what has he ever done to you, huh?” Yeonjun lost his cool by now, letting go of Taehyuns hand, about to rush forward, but Taehyun quickly grabbed his arm. “What makes you so pissed? What are you so loud for, for fucks sake?”

“Yeonjun, don’t-” Yeonjun barely heard Taehyun talking to him.

“How fucking small does your dick have to be to be constantly picking on people that have literally never hurt you in their lives?”

“You’re talking too much, but I don’t see you acting anything out. Kinda disappointing, I’d love to put you into hospital after you’re acting like the big hero and talking big. Not gonna lie, you seemed cool before, I respected you. But dating a god fucking theatre kid was pretty much social suicide. And now all of the sudden you’re acting up. That’s why you annoy me, Choi. Because suddenly you want to look like the fucking saviour of the oppressed nerds.” Kiwoon made a step back and triumphantly smiled. Yeonjun would have loved to pull out these crooked teeth one by one but the way Taehyun was holding his arm tightly wasn’t really allowing him to move forward, and nor did he want Taehyun to have to let go of him once again. So instead he just stayed silent, gazing at Kiwoon, wishing to set him on fire with his bare eyes.

“I’m busy for today, but I promise you, next time I run into you or your cunt of a boyfriend, someone will get hurt.”

“Try and beat me up, go ahead. But I swear to god, if you look at Taehyun for a single second, I will fuck you up so bad you won’t want to open your eyes ever again. I’m fucking serious, stay away from Taehyun.”

“Yeonjun, please…”

“You know what, now I’m curious! Would love to see you try lay a hand on me!” Kiwoon laughed, if you could even call that a laugh because it rather sounded like a fucking horse. “I’d love to smash your pretentious face in. It would be a great pleasure, Choi Yeonjun.” He winked, or at least tried to but rather looked like he had a stroke. “If you have nothing more to say, I’ll go now.” When Yeonjun said nothing, he let out another horse laugh. “See you soon, Choi. Hopefully next time we meet, you’ll have a broken nose.”

With these words, he turned around and left. That god fucking asshole just left, while Yeonjun was just standing there, not moving as if he was tied up. For a second it felt like there was no feeling left in his body, until Taehyun let his hands slide down Yeonjuns arm, taking his hand in the softest and most careful way. It now felt like he was slowly gaining back consciousness.

“Hyung, don’t do anything stupid. Let him be, we’ll avoid him.” Taehyun now looked up to Yeonjuns face.

“I’m not gonna do anything stupid. Only completely fuck him up until he bleeds,” Yeonjun hissed, looking into the direction Kiwoon left, then making eye contact with Taehyun.

_ Oh _ .

Taehyuns eyes were soft, but worried, genuinely worried. And tired. Beautiful big doe eyes, looking at him with concern. Yeonjun felt a sting in his heart. If Kiwoon, no,  _ anyone _ ever dared to hurt this boy, Yeonjun was going to snap.

“Don’t get in trouble or get hurt because some jock doesn’t like me.”

“Taehyun, I’ll protect you from that bastard. I’ll have to, right? I’m your boyfriend.” Oh. No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t really Taehyuns boyfriend. His natural protectiveness over him almost made him forget that he wasn’t. “And I’m your  _ friend _ .”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Taehyun repeated, leaning his head on Yeonjuns shoulder.

“It’s ok. I know how to protect my face if I get into a fight. Your safety is my priority.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

“I can’t help it.” Yeonjun smiled as he let go of Taehyuns hand to lift his own up to his fake boyfriends head, beginning to play with his hair again. “That was the deal from the beginning, right?”

“Right.” Taehyun sighed. “You’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer to catching up with the most recent chapter... This one was fun to write because I absolutely love kiss scenes, despite ever only having written two of them... aahrgdghd i love kisses 


	8. Chapter 8

To say that Yeonjun was nervous was an understatement. He was straight up scared, and Yeonjun was  _ never _ scared. No, he was scared quite often lately, but only since he knew Taehyun. That boy really could give him a headache.

Yeonjun straightened his back and pushed back a loose hair strand, then rang the bell on the front door of the quite big, welcoming looking house which belonged to Taehyun and his family.

It was Friday, around 6 AM, and Yeonjun was all dolled up, his hair done, wearing his fanciest clothes, he even went as far as bringing chocolate with him as a gift. All that to leave a good impression on Taehyuns family, who he was meeting for the first time today. He wasn’t going to know them for long, considering that Yeonjun and Taehyun only had to spend two more weeks together until their breakup, but it was something important for Taehyun nonetheless. If Yeonjun assured his family that being in a same sex relationship is just as beautiful and  _ normal _ as any heterosexual relationship, maybe his mother would go easier on him. Maybe she would understand her sons point of view and identity better.

The door opened Yeonjun was greeted by a man much shorter than him, round glasses, a white button up and a welcoming smile on his face which looked very familiar to him.

“Choi Yeonjun, am I right?”

“Right. You’re Mister Kang?” Yeonjun bowed to greet Taehyuns father. From what he had heard, his dad was a nice dude, always accepting and loving towards his family and Taehyuns friends. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too! Come in, Taehyun should be somewhere in his room still but I think he’ll be there soon.” Mr Kang stepped aside to let Yeonjun in and closed the door behind them. The house was even cozier from the inside, it somehow smelled like… nature? Wood? And yet Yeonjun noticed the smell of food coming from what he assumed to be the kitchen. This was exactly how Yeonjun had envisioned a wholesome happy family home to look like, full of warm colours and familiar smells. That was something he never really got to experience.

“Yeonjun!” An excited voice called out his name, followed by someone almost running down the stairs. And before Yeonjun could really say anything, Taehyun was already crashing into him and hugging him tightly. Geez, that was- adorable.

“Hey there, Taehyunnie.” Taehyun quickly let go of his fake boyfriend and took a step back, smiling at him. God, he was pretty today. Well, he always was objectively beautiful but- Today his light brown hair was neatly curled, making it look even softer, and there was the slightest peachy shimmer on his lips, so they appeared more pillowy, and sweet. He looked so fucking pretty, Yeonjun felt lucky to be his- friend.

“Let’s go to the kitchen, your mother and sister are waiting.” Taehyuns dad fondly smiled at the two as he lead them to the room where that amazing smell had originated from.

The kitchen was light and modern, seemed to have been renovated not too long ago. A woman had turned her back to the door when Yeonjun entered, being busy with the food, while a girl, younger than him, was sitting at the rather big dining table that was decorated with a candle and a bunch of small fake flowers.

The girls eyes widened when she saw Yeonjun, then she grinned at Taehyun and stood up from the dinner table.

“Hi! I’m Sohee! Taehyunnies sister!” It seemed like Taehyun wasn’t the only one who had put effort into his looks today. Sohee, who was now excitedly grinning at Yeonjun after a small bow, definitely had done her makeup in a quite cute, soft way, and she wore a pretty summer dress. She didn’t look older than 15, maybe 16, but she was already a pretty girl, with lips as thick as Taehyuns and long, straight hair, darker than her brothers but just as silky looking. Man, the Kang family really had amazing visuals, and yet Taehyun had somehow managed to outshine them all.

“I’m Yeonjun, nice to meet you, Sohee!”

“I can’t believe your boyfriend is this handsome, Taehyunnie…” She kept eyeing Yeonjun.

“Yeah…” Taehyun softly put his arm around his fake boyfriends waist, also looking at him with heart eyes. “Me neither. I really am one lucky boy.”

“Aren’t I the lucky one? With you by my side?” Yeonjun loved saying sappy bullshit like this. Because it convinced the people around them, but most importantly, because Taehyun always gave back this shy smile. Just like he did now.

“Darling, don’t you wanna greet our guest?” Mr Kang had walked past the couple and Sohee to approach his wife. She slowly put down a spoon, let out an almost inaudible sigh, and turned around.

There was a big smile on her face, and she seemed to really be trying her best, but she couldn’t get herself to make it look 100% genuine. Especially not after seeing the placement of her sons hand on Yeonjun waist.

“I’m sorry, I had been caught up in cooking. Hello, Choi Yeonjun.” He voice was calm and friendly, and yet there was that tired undertone. She was clearly struggling to, well, understand what was going on. She eyed Yeonjun, his hair, his face, his clothes, and for a second Yeonjun felt like… a disappointment? Like he wasn’t the one Taehyun deserved, considering how different he was from the shy, well behaved boy.

Her son probably always had been a picture perfect child, and now, all of the sudden, there was this guy, dyed hair, ears full of jewelry, mischief in his eyes, and  _ that _ was the one Taehyun supposedly was in love with.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Kang.” Yeonjun bowed to her and put on a soft smile. “Thank you for inviting me. I hope we can get to know each other today.”

“You’re very welcome. Please have a seat, the meal will be ready soon.” Yeonjun nodded and took a look at the dinner table.

“I’m gonna move my stuff over there then, so Hyunnies boyfriend can sit next to him.” Sohee took her already half filled glass and placed it at the end of the table, then patted the seat she had sat in before. “You can sit here, Yeonjun!” Her eyes were sparkling whenever she looked at Yeonjun. It was obvious that she was incredibly excited, and  _ happy _ for her brother.

Yeonjun took the offer and sat down after pulling his bag off his shoulders and placing it next to the chair. Taehyun sat down next to him while Mr Kang was sitting directly opposite of him. Sohee kept looking at the two, seemingly waiting for something to happen, but there wasn’t really much the two could do physically without one of them falling off the chair. Taehyung had put his hand to the table though, which was a perfect opportunity for Yeonjun to take it. Sohee sighed quietly as she watched her brother smile at Yeonjuns soft touch.

“We offered you to stay here for the night too.” Mr Kang adjusted his glasses and looked at Yeonjun, smiling. “Are you taking the offer?”

“Yes. Thank you very much by the way, I’m very happy to be welcomed so warmly by everyone here.” Right, another thing that made Yeonjun incredibly nervous was not only the fact that he would have dinner with Taehyuns parents, but also that he was spending the night here. Taehyun had told him just today, apparently his father had suggested it, and even though his mother wasn’t too keen on it for obvious reasons, she eventually agreed.

And now Yeonjun would sleep over at Taehyuns house, probably his room, but hopefully not his bed. He’d be around Taehyun the entire night, and that scared the shit out of him for some reason. Taehyun seemed to be really chill about it, but you could never really know what Taeyun was  _ really _ thinking.

“You’re sleeping here? That’s so cool!” Sohee excitedly bounced around in her chair, but her father was only sighing as he shook his head, a smile on his lips.

“Don’t annoy them, Sohee. Let the boys alone tonight, alright?”

“But I wanna get to know Yeonjun too!”

“You have enough time to get to know him now…” Taehyun supported his head with one hand while still letting his other one rest under Yeonjuns touch, eyeing his sister. She only sighed and pouted.

“Fine, fine. I won’t interrupt you guys in whatever you’re going to do.” She crossed her arms but kept gazing at the two.

“We’ll have to get a mattress for Yeonjun to sleep on tonight, we should still have one in our storeroom, right?” Now Taehyuns mother was leaning on the kitchen counter, seemingly waiting for the food to be done cooking or something. Mr Kang turned around in his chair, brows furrowed.

“Taehyuns bed is big enough, don’t you think? We don’t need another mattress.”

“The two are not sleeping in one bed.” Mrs Kang lowered her voice but she was still perfectly audible.

“Now that’s just silly. They’re no children anymore, come on.” Yeonjun had to hold back a snort as he watched Taehyun slowly covered his face with one hand, while his father was still assuring his mom that there was nothing to be afraid of.

“Dad, it’s ok.” His voice was more embarrassed than annoyed. “We can get a mattress.”

“Thank you for being reasonable, Taehyun. We will check if he have one after the dinner.” Mrs Kang was now starting to fill something, it seemed to be a kind of rice, in a bowl. She placed it on the table, then went back to get some meat out of the oven.

“That looks interesting! Not what we usually eat.”

“What do you mean, we eat rice like everyday, Sohee-” Taehyun leaned forwards to take a closer look at the food.

“It’s risotto. It’s french food,” Mrs Kang explained, placing down the meat next to it.

“Pretty sure risotto is italian though.” Taehyun furrowed his brows, then put a big spoon full of the rice on his plate, giving the spoon to his father.

“Well- It’s definitely european, and now it’s here on our dinner table. Enjoy your meal, everyone!” Now Mrs Kang was smiling again, Yeonjun was able to tell that it was a much more real smile. Maybe she was warming up to all of this already.

Taehyuns father passed the spoon over to Yeonjun and he excitedly put some of the rice dish on his plate. It looked great honestly, and so did the meat. When he tasted the food for the first time, he noticed Mrs Kang eyeing him, probably waiting for a reaction. And so, he began smiling while chewing, then, once he had swallowed it, grinned at Taehyuns mother.

“It tastes really good, Mrs Kang! Do you always cook for the family?” She seemed surprised at Yeonjuns, well, friendliness? As if she wouldn’t have expected him to react so happily.

“Oh well!” She smiled back at him. “Thank you very much, I usually cook, yes. But everyone occasionally helps out.” Making her trust Yeonjun was the biggest goal right now. And she seemed to not  _ hate  _ him right now, judging by the tone of her voice that was rather cheerful. Now he just couldn’t allow himself to fuck up.

“So, Yeonjun.”

“Yes?” Yeonjun smiled at Mrs Kang once again.

“What exactly do you want to do after school?”

“Oh, well-” Now that was an absolutely terrible question, because Yeonjun had absolutely no idea. Yet he knew that Taehyuns mother was very future oriented, and she always wanted to have everything planned out, at least from what Taehyun had told him. “I’m not completely sure yet. I would love to-” Yeonjun hesitated, going through all the ideas he had in his head of what he may or may not could consider doing after graduating next summer. What was there to say? He had considered becoming a dancer, a tattoo artist, a hair stylist, but that all maybe wasn’t the best answer to give, so he just quickly spoke out the only thing that made him seem somewhat smart and mature. “I would love to study philosophy. But I’m still very unsure of what exactly I’m going to do. I’m going to graduate this summer so I still have a little bit of time, right?” Yeonjun saw Mrs Kang furrow her brows, seemingly not as satisfied with his answer as he had hoped, but Taehyun quickly came in to defend him.

“Philosophy is cool. It’s really interesting and kind of overlooked by most people, but philosophy is a bigger part of our lives than we might think. Also…” He threw a glance at his mother that looked kind of judging. “Not everyone has to know what they want to do with their life yet.”

“You’re right, Taehyun, but maybe Yeonjun already had something in mind, that’s why I asked.” Taehyuns mother then looked at him again. “What do your parents do? Where do they work?”

“Oh-” Yeonjun quickly broke their eye contact to stare at his plate instead. He didn’t like talking about his parents, especially not with people like Taehyuns family, who obviously had a decent amount of money and success. “My mom- She’s a car mechanic and my dad, he, uhm… He doesn’t work currently.”

“Oh. I see.” An almost pitiful expression had laid itself on her face as Mrs Kang slowly took a bite from her meat, still looking at Yeonjun. He could see that Taehyun got slightly nervous next to him.

“My father used to work at a big company though,” Yeonjun quickly added, completely leaving out the fact that he got fired for simply not appearing to work and literally trying to steal from the office.

“And your parents, what do they think about this?” It looked like Mrs Kang had almost forgotten that there was still food on her plate by the way she scanned Yeonjun exactly, making him already uncomfortable. And questions about his parents really weren’t welcome for him right now. But he’d try to answer them as best as possible.

“About what exactly?”

“That you’re, you know. Gay.”

“Well-” Yeonjun tried to smile, so nobody would notice the actual sadness coming up in him. “I’m not gay, really, I’m bisexual. But, uhm.” He quickly looked over to Taehyun, who had been watching him attentively, looking at him through sparkly eyes. “They don’t know.”

“Oh. How come they don’t?” Now Mr Kang was also involving himself in the conversation after quietly eating his food and definitely enjoying it.

“I haven’t come out to them. I don’t feel the need to, really.”

“But that’s something very important you should tell your family, right?” Yeonjun huffed quietly at Mrs Kangs response.

“Well, yeah, but I know that they wouldn’t react well. I don’t owe them a coming out, and if I know that they would mistreat me if I told them, I simply don’t tell them at all. It’s okay to just  _ not _ come out to certain people, it’s for my own safety.” Mrs Kang didn’t say a word after this, but instead began looking almost guilty, her eyes flickering between Yeonjun and Taehyun. Maybe this could have been some sort of wakeup call for her. Maybe she could understand how much her son was trusting her to come out to her despite knowing that it might be dangerous for their mother-son-relationship. After a few moments, she sighed and began to nodd.

“I see. Okay.” Her voice was lower now, and she cleared her throat. “That sounds logical.” Her eyes lingered on Taehyun for a few more seconds, who didn’t notice it though, as he was focused on his food. She then continued eating herself, a bit slower.

They ate slowly and silently, and nobody really asked Yeonjun more questions. The only noise that filled the room was cutlery clicking and occasional praise from Mr Kang about how good the food was. It didn’t seem to be awkward for the family to be so silent, but honestly, it stressed Yeonjun out a little. Only when he was about to put another spoonful of rice on his plate, Taehyuns father cleared his throat quietly and started grinning at Yeonjun.

“Say, Yeonjun, how old are you?”

“I turned 19 just recently.”

“I see. Are you stressed a lot, since you already got grey hair?” Yeonjun hesitated until he realized Mr Kang was referring to his silver dyed hair. Yeonjun snorted, yet both Taehyun and Sohee just grunted at that dad joke, but Mr Kang kept grinning. “My wife is worried about getting grey hair, and you young guys dye it like that on purpose!”

“Dad, come on, that isn’t even funny-”

“But Yeonjun is smiling!”

“Out of pity, probably.” Sohee sighed. “I think your hair is really cool, Yeonjun! I wanna dye my hair too but mom won’t allow it…”

“I just think you’re a bit too young, Sohee.”   
“I’m 16 though!”

“Yes, and I think that’s too young. It’s only going to damage your hair. And then you’ll regret it once you’re older, because your hair is so pretty right now.”

“Mom, would you be ok if I dyed my hair?” Taehyun now asked.

“Well-” Mrs Kang sighed, almost annoyed. “I wouldn’t like to see it to be honest.”

“If you’d ask me, I’d probably say no.” Now Mr Kang spoke up, eyeing his son with a light smile. “But if you didn’t ask me and just did it, there’d be nothing I could say against it, right?”

“Honey, don’t give him any ideas, please…”

“He’s 18, we don’t really have that control over him anymore, so-” The parents lowered their voices as if it made them inaudible for their children, which obviously wasn’t the case as they all sat on one table in a quiet kitchen.

“So you’d let him dye his hair but I can’t do it?” Sohees voice started sounding annoyed and almost a bit squeaky.

“Sohee, darling, when you’re 18, you can do it, fine?” The young girl just pouted, the gave all her attention to her food again.

“Fine,” she muttered and stuffed some rice into her mouth.

Yeonjun quickly glanced over to Taehyun, who was calmly eating, his lips curled upwards just slightly. Yeonjun had to imagine him with all kinds of different hair colors. Maybe black would look nice on him. Or something completely different, like a bright orange? Maybe he would let Yeonjun dye his hair sometime. He had been gotten quite good at it by now, after always dyeing Soobins and also his own hair.

“Say, Yeonjun?” Mrs Kang began to ask something yet again after a few minutes of silence. This time her look was a bit more strict though, and Yeonjun didn’t want to imagine what kinds of questions she was about to ask. “Have you ever smoked? Like… Marihuana?”

“Wh-” Yeonjun was so surprised by that question that he couldn’t help himself but chuckle. He expected her to ask a bunch of embarrassing things but asking if he smoked weed certainly wasn’t one of these questions. He saw how Taehyun shook his head with an almost shameful expression. “No, oh god, I don’t do drugs, I never have!” Yeonjun just clumsily grinned, and when he saw Mrs Kangs suspicious expression, he quickly added: “And I’m never going to try.”

“What about alcohol?” Mr Kang now asked. “Do you drink?”

“Well, sometimes-”

“Maybe you want to have a glass of wine with me later?” He looked quite excited right now. “With Taehyun together?”

“Taehyun isn’t even allowed to drink yet,” his wife hissed at him.

“Right, uh- But then maybe we can have a little talk alone, man to man. I was hoping to do that with Sohees boyfriend one day, but now  _ you’re _ already here so-” Yeonjun just blinked a few times as if it would help him take in that ramble the man was giving right now. “We could have a little talk and get to know each other, you know. Need to make sure you know how to treat my boy correctly.”

“Oh my god, dad, please.” Taehyun began hiding his face in his hands and his ears were already turning slightly red. “I don’t think you’ll need to tell him how to treat me or anything, really-”

“Dad’s just trying to lure him in and then tell him all the terrible childhood stories about you!”

“Sohee, don’t bring that up-”

“ _ Oh _ , the childhood stories, of course! Should I tell some?” Mr Kangs grin was huge now, and almost mischievous.

“No, no, please dad, you-”

“Do it, do it, do it!”

“No really, come on-”

“Mr Kang, you really don’t have to tell anything-” Yeonjun tried his best to stop Taehyuns parents from exposing him for embarrassing things he did as a kid, but at this point, Mr Kang looked way to amused, and like he was ready to tell some weird stories.

“Well Taehyunnie was always well behaved, I don’t have as many stories to tell about him as I wish I had, but- You see, Taehyun was a real crybaby.”

“Please, dad-”

“He cried so much that one day I was concerned he may dehydrate! I remember when Sohee was born, he was like 3 or 4 years old and even though we had tried to tell him that he would get a little sister, I think it really only hit him when she was brought home and suddenly  _ stayed _ there, the poor boy was sobbing and I don’t even know why!” That was really kinda cute. “And when she started crying and screaming, so did he! It’s kind of funny, as a child he had so many emotions, his heart was too big for his body, but when he got into acting when he was nine or so, he learned how to control them very quickly.”

“Dad, don’t you want to tell Yeonjun about his first performance though?” Sohee grinned, and god, it could almost have been considered an evil smile.

“Can you not bring  _ that _ up, I’m still scarred for life.”

“Oh, we’ll just have to bring that up. He had his first little play in elementary school and I swear, he knew every line so perfectly, he even knew most of the other kids lines and got annoyed with them when they didn’t get them right, but when he was on stage for the first time, he just stood there and didn’t know what to say and ended up just  _ crying _ in front of all these parents and teachers that were watching!” Mr Kang laughed as if humiliating his son in front of his boyfriend was the absolute best thing to do. But Taehyun was not having any of this, face turning redder with every second he had to listen to his father repeat that probably terrible experience.

He looked so cute. Face all red, eyes lowered. He looked so fucking adorable.

“He had a second performance the next day and it went much better, you could tell how nervous he was but he still managed to say his lines somewhat clearly. And from that day on, he really got better and better. And now the stage is his home.” By now, Mr Kangs expression got a little softer.

“But dad, what about the flour thing?”

“Sohee, you couldn’t even  _ think _ when the flour thing happened!” Taehyun hissed.

“The flour thing was so funny! He had a little phase where he just ate flour as if it was sugar or something.”

“I was like, six years old or something, I though flour was sugar and it turned out to not be sugar but i still ate it for some reason, but I stopped after a week, ok? I was a stupid six year old. Really wasn’t my proudest moment.” He just groaned, definitely annoyed by his family. “I was a dumb kid, we get it.” He crossed his arms and kind of puffed his cheeks. Yeonjun had to giggle at that sight. He looked even softer and smaller now, it almost hurt Yeonjuns heart.

“You weren’t stupid.” For the first time during this whole conversation, Mrs Kang started speaking again. She had watched the whole chaos, smiling fondly. “But you were more talented that the others. You saw the world around you with very different eyes I think. You understood it on a different level.”

“I think that’s kind of exaggerated, mom…”   
“No, I don’t think so, you’ve always been an artist. You always looked at things in a way most people at your age couldn’t. And still can’t!”

“Don’t say that like this, you’re making me more special than I am-”

“But I’m right, Taehyun. That’s why I think you deserve someone just as amazing in your life. I want you to be treated like the great person you are.” Mrs Kangs eyes now slowly shifted to Yeonjun, who almost got kind of intimidated by her look. A look that was threatening, but also concerned. She was concerned that Yeonjun wasn’t going to be the one, and so was Yeonjun himself.

“I promise, I will treat him right. He deserves someone good and I hope I can be that someone. I won’t disappoint him, nor will I disappoint you.” Taehyun answered that promise with a quiet chuckle.

“You sound so old school like that, babe.”

_ Babe. _ Oh god. Why did that make Yeonjuns heart jump? The way he just said it like it’s nothing, so casually and softly said it, oh sweet god.

“You know, Yeonjun. I will be honest with you here, I didn’t think a lot of you when you first came in here.” Yeah, he could tell. “But you seem nice. You really seem nice. Please understand that this whole situation is so new to me. I just want the best for Taehyun.”

“So do I, Mrs Kang.”

“And that’s why I trust you.” She didn’t exactly look like she was trusting him 100%, but Yeonjun couldn’t blame her.

“Thank you for doing so. I hope, I won’t disappoint.” It was sad to think about it. Because he knew he would. Just two more weeks and all of this would be over. And Taehyun had to tell his parents somehow that they broke up and Yeonjun wasn’t the right one after all. And for the first time he almost felt a little guilty about this entire act. He promised that he would take care of Taehyun, and even though he  _ actually _ wanted to keep his promise, he knew that he  _ had _ to break it. That was probably going to be the worst thing about this whole fake dating deal. Everyone else around them would probably be pretty heartbroken.

With this false promise, all five of them continued and ended their dinner. The meal was, though simple, delicious and it had been a while since Yeonjun had last enjoyed a dinner like that. There were no more awkward questions asked, thankfully.

When everyone had finished the last bit of food, Taehyun wanted to get up to collect the plates, but his father stopped him.

“Let me do it, Taehyun.”

“You want to do the dishes?” Taehyun slowly sat back down again, eyeing his father with surprise.

“Yes, you have to help your guest feel at home first. Show him your room!”

“And don’t forget to get the spare mattress from the storage room,” Mrs Kang added, who also stood up now to help clean. “Sohee, would you help the two with that?” The girl began nodding. “I’ll come back to you guys after we’re done doing the dishes.”

“Alright, then let me show you my room first and then we can get the-”

“Oh, wait, Mrs Kang! I got something for you!” Yeonjun quickly grabbed his bag and opened it, pulling out some expensive chocolate he had bought before arriving here. “As a gift!” He gave it to her with a big smile, and she was definitely pleasantly surprised.

“Thanks a lot, Yeonjun, that’s very sweet of you!” She eyed the chocolate, then Yeonjun, and bowed just the tiniest bit. Very good. He was making a great impression. Now he turned back to Taehyun.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to do it before I forget. What did you say?”

“Oh, I’ll show you my room! And then we’re gonna help Sohee get the mattress.”

“You don’t need to help me though, I can carry it myself!” Sohee pouted but her brother only shook his head.

“I’d rather do it with you. You’re strong enough to carry that thing through the whole city but also clumsy enough to fall after the first two meters.” He then let Yeonjun take his bag before he grabbed him by the arm softly and lead him out of the kitchen, Sohee behind them.

They walked up the stairs and Taehyun stopped at the first door on the left side.

“My room’s here. Wait, let me just get your bag and I’ll be right back.” Yeonjun handed his bag to his fake boyfriend, who then got into his room. As soon as he stepped in, Sohee looked at Yeonjun and cleared her throat.

“I have one question.”

“Ask away.”

“Who is the woman?”

“What-” Yeonjun raised his eyebrows at the young girl who seemed to be dead serious about her question.

“Like who is the  _ girl _ in this relationship?”

“Sohee.” Taehyun just came out of his room again and closed the door before Yeonjun could even look in. “We’re men.”

“Yeah but who is more like the girl?”

“Wh- No, we- None of us is ‘like the girl’, I don’t think you understand how a relationship works…”

“No, you know what, Sohee? You’re right. I know who’s the girl.” Taehyun furrowed his brows at Yeonjun now, probably questioning his sanity a bit, but Yeonjun just smiled brightly. “We both are.” Now both Sohee and Taehyun just stared at him, until Taehyun began laughing, softly and cutely. It took a while longer for Sohee to fully get it, to understand that her own question was kind of stupid and thus could only expect a stupid answer, and she too started to chuckle.

“Now let’s go get that mattress.” Taehyun softly pushed himself past his sister to a room at the end of the corridor. There was a little, old looking key stuck in the lock, he turned it around a few times, the opened the door. He gave Yeonjun a signal to stay outside while him and Sohee went in. The room looked small, yet it held a bunch of cabinets and shelves, and, leaning on the wall, a mattress.

“Just close the door behind us and then open my room, ok?” Taehyun ordered his fake boyfriend to do, who quickly nodded and did as he was asked to when the the two siblings carried the mattress out of the storage and into Taehyuns room.

As soon as they had dropped it off, Sohee put her hands on her hips and grinned at Yeonjun, who was still standing at the door.

“Alrighty, I’ll leave you two alone now. Have fun!” And so the girl already left before Yeonjun could even say something, walking past him as she disappeared in the room right next to Taehyuns.

“Now come in already!” Taehyun pulled Yeonjun into his room and closed the door behind them. They were alone again. Sweet.

Taehyuns room was really neat. His bed was pretty huge, but a bunch of colourful pillows took up most of the space in it. There was a neatly organized desk, a huge wardrobe, and, most importantly, a kind of terrarium filled with plants, that seemed to be empty otherwise, at least at first glance.

“Oh! You’re meeting Dan now!” Taehyun excitedly hopped over the the terrarium and pointed at something Yeonjun hadn’t even noticed at first. When he came closer, he finally could take a good look at the snake. It was grey, with long stripes down its back in bright orange. Certainly cool looking, but not at all what Yeonjun would have expected from someone like Taehyun.

“Isn’t he cute?” Taehyun looked at his pet as if it was a little puppy, with sparkling bright eyes and a big, soft smile, bending down slightly to be able to watch it as closely as possible. He looked so endearing like his, so happy and excited-

‘He’s super cute,’ Yeonjun thought, but obviously not referring to the snake.

“It’s- I mean it looks neat. It’s certainly a noodle.”

“Don’t you like him? He’s a rosy boa! They’re really easy to keep as a pet and don’t become that big. They also live very long!”

“They don’t become that big?” Yeonjun squinted as he looked at the already pretty big seeming snake. “How big is it?”

“Just about 75cm right now. There are bigger ones and I’m not sure how much he will grow anymore though.” To Yeonjun, 75cm definitely sounded big. “Should I take him out?”

“Ah, there’s really no need to! Let him stay in his safe little home, ok?”

“Are you scared?” Taehyun started giggling.

“No? I just think it might be a lot of work to get him out of there and all so just keep him in, where he is safe and happy, ok?”

“Alright then.” Taehyun nodded to the mattress on the floor. “Is it comfortable? Do you think you can sleep on it?” Yeonjun let himself fall on the mattress and bounced around on it a little.

“It’s kinda hard, I’m used to softer ones to be honest.”

“Mine is soft, so if you want, you can just sleep in my bed.” Hold up,  _ what _ ? “And I’ll sleep on the floor.” Right. Never mind. Yeonjun wasn’t really sure why he had thought that Taehyun offered him to sleep in his bed  _ together  _ with him.

“It’s fine, I’ll sleep just nicely on this.” By now Yeonjun decided to just stay on that mattress, taking his shoes off first before he laid down flat on the back, looking at the ceiling. “What are we even gonna do tonight?”

“Sleep.”

“Huh?”

“Just kidding.” Taehyun dropped down next to Yeonjun on the mattress, stretching his arms and watching his fake boyfriend just lay there. “I don’t go to sleep before 3 on weekends.

“Fucked up sleep schedule?”   
“You can’t really call it ‘messed up’ when I can control it perfectly, can you? Like I still get enough sleep usually.” Cute how Taehyun always avoided saying things like ‘fuck’. It made him seem so innocent.

“If you go to sleep at 3, we have a lot of time to kill then. It’s just barely 8 or something.”

“Well, we could start by… watching some videos maybe.”

“What kind of videos?”

“You promised me to send me some videos like a week ago…” Yeonjun began to remember the talk they had about dancing. Even though he had promised Taehyun to dig up some dance covers, he never ended up doing it.

“The dance videos? Right, uh-” He laughed nervously. “I think that’s a little embarrassing.”

“Come on, after I got humiliated by my dad like this today, let me see something that embarrasses you too! Please, Hyung!” Well, he couldn’t say no to that, right? Yeonjun sighed and pulled out his phone from the pocket of his black jacket, then browsed his older instagram posts to find one of the videos he knew he still had up. It was gonna be embarrassing as fuck, but hey. What Taehyun wants, Taehyun shall get.

“It’s freestyle so don’t mind it looking a little weird.” He sighed as he sent the video to Taehyun, who now grinned at him.

“Nice! Let’s see, it can’t be that bad.” Taehyun turned up his volume just a little but and now Yeonjun sat up to better see his reaction. The song started playing, a familiar, quite popular one. “Oh! Bad Guy? That’s cool, I like that-” Taehyun cut himself off as he watched the video, his eyes widening. His expression didn’t really change as he watched the video until the end, but a blush slowly started appearing on his cheeks. “Oh.”

“Was it  _ that _ bad?” Yeonjun jokingly asked but in response Taehyun just seemed to get shy, quickly lowering his head.

“No, no no, not at all, that was really-” He tried to laugh, but it sounded kind of panicked. “You’re really good, I think you should dance more.”

“Is that all you’ve got to say? Why so flustered, huh?” Yeonjun grinned as he leaned forward a bit to look Taehyun in the face.

“Arg, you’re asking me why I’m flustered? When you dance like  _ that _ ?”

“Like what?”

“Stop teasing me, you know what I mean!” Taehyun crossed his arms, still not looking Yeonjun in the face.

“It’s ok, I get it, you’re gay panicking because I was very attractively dancing to a Billie Eilish song!” Yeonjun laughed, he was super amused by the fact that Taehyuns face was practically  _ burning _ right now due to something  _ he _ did! When they were in public, it was always Taehyun that got bold, kissing him and all, but now it was him. He did that.

“Geez, leave me alone, I’ve always had a thing for dancers, ok-”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’ve always liked to watch people dance and honestly it was kind of- A gay awakening?” Taehyun sighed, not looking up but instead at his phone he still had in his hand, despite the screen already having turned black a few seconds ago. “So what else am I supposed to do? I’ve already told you that I think you’re really good looking, so-”

“And you meant that?” Yeonjun cut Taehyun off, he didn’t really mean to, but he just blurted it out like this, he was actually genuinely surprised.

“Well, yeah? Of course.”   
“Oh. Ok. That’s nice.” And now it was him again that felt just the slightest bit of gay panic. Why though, it was just Taehyun saying he was attractive. It was just him, just Taehyun, just that boy he knew for barely two weeks, but already grew much too close to him.

Taehyun now got up and instead laid down on his own bed, which was basically just next to the mattress on the floor. His hand was hanging down from the bed and honestly, Yeonjun really wanted to take it. Just hold it. Feel its softness. And so he did. Taehyun didn’t even react to Yeonjun reaching out for his hand and holding it softly, drawing little patterns on the back of his hand. He didn’t move, just let his hand be held and played with, and watched it calmly. Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile. It felt so right to just… Sit there and play with his fake boyfriends hand.

Taehyuns eyes were fixed on him. His big, dark doe eyes were watching Yeonjun caress the boys hand, his pretty pillowy lips formed a smile. Taehyuns hair was still curly and soft looking, and Yeonjun could only think about how he looked like an angel, because he was pretty sure no human could look like this. His cheeks still looked so rosy and cute.

"What are you looking at?" Taehyun asked after a few more seconds. His voice sounded curious, and already a little tired.

"Nothing. I just think you're pretty today. I like your hair. It looks soft."

"It  _ is  _ soft." Yeonjun kind of wanted to curse at Taehyun for saying that. For making him want to play with his hair and feel it for himself. But how could he be mad at someone like this?

"Is that so?" He smiled at the angel laying in front of him. Taehyun only nodded.

"You wanna touch it, right?"

"Maybe I do."

"Nobody's holding you back, Hyung."

Yeonjun slowly lifted his hand up to Taehyuns head, placing it cautiously on his hair. It really was soft. He started playing with it, twirling the strands around his fingers. Yeonjun was convinced that there wasn't one person with hair as silky and beautiful as Taehyun. He was convinced that there was not one single person out there with features as beautiful as his.

Yeonjun felt Taehyuns curious eyes on him. He knew that they were scanning his face, and deep down, Yeonjun was hoping that Taehyun thought just the same as he did right now. Yeonjun was hoping that Taehyun also was wishing to hold his face and look into his eyes for an eternity to try count all the stars that were sparkling in them. He was hoping that Taehyun was thinking about holding him just as much as he himself was. Yeonjun was hoping that he wasn't the only one who just wanted to cup his face and kiss him.

Yeonjun really, really wanted to kiss him. Without anyone watching or knowing. He wanted to kiss Taehyun so bad, the real Taehyun, not the fake boyfriend one. He wanted to feel his soft lips on his own once again and find out if they tasted just as peachy as they looked.

God, he was stupid. He was so dumb. Yeonjun was really just a complete dumbass. Why would he feel like this? It was so obvious. It was obvious for everyone around, it was even obvious for Beomgyu.

Yeonjun had fallen in love with Taehyun.

Maybe not fallen in  _ love _ , that was a strong word. But he had a crush on him. A huge crush. Of course he did. Yeonjun was really dumb enough to admire every feature of this boy and feel so beautiful and warm and complete when being around him and touching him and  _ kissing _ him and yet just a day ago he denied that he'd ever catch feelings for him when he already  _ did _ . Yeonjun was so so dumb.

So dumb he had to laugh. Just softly and quietly but he couldn't help himself.

"What's so funny?" Taehyun asked.

"Nothing. Nothing big, really." Yeonjun continued to play with Taehyuns hair. "Your hair is just really soft.”

“I told you it was.” His boyfriend sweetly giggled. “I’m taking good care of it. It also isn’t dyed, so it’s nice and healthy.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Yeonjuns fingers froze and he grinned. “Because my hair is as dry as hay?”

“I never said that! It’s your fault if that’s the conclusion you draw. Is it really  _ that _ dry though?”

“I’ve bleached it from dark brown to to almost white multiple times, it’s a miracle it isn’t more damaged to be honest.” Taehyun seemed focused on Yeonjuns hair, and he kind of hoped that maybe he’d want to touch it too.

“Do you dye your hair yourself?”

“Yeah. I get professional hair dye though, I’d literally put my scalp on fire if I used box bleach. I dye Soobins hair too.”

“Soobins is pink, right?”

“Pastel pink, his natural hair colour is black. Bleaching them for the first time took literal days because I was scared I’d just burn all his hair off if we moved too fast.”

“If I asked you to dye my hair, would you do it?” Was that even a question? As if Yeonjun would decline the offer and miss out on the opportunity to touch and play with his hair all day and then see his pretty smile once they’d be done.

“Tell me what colour and I’ll get the dye.” Yeonjun now finally pulled his hand away as Taehyun lifted his head, now sitting up in his bed.

“What do you think would suit me?”

“Pretty much everything. You’d be pretty in every colour.”

“That’s not a big help.” Taehyun pushed his hair back, pondering. “Something natural or…?”

“Nah, go crazy. Let’s go for neon green or something. Or blue. Or two coloured!”

“I think that’d be a little too out there for me. I wouldn’t want something too eye catching.” But he already was eye catching. Someone as pretty as him stood out from the masses.

Yeonjun began smiling to himself over these thoughts. He always had them. When they first properly met, and talked their plan out in the cafe, he already had these thoughts of how beautiful Taehyun was. But he never really  _ understood _ them, or perhaps misinterpreted them. But right now, well, he got it. He was crushing on him, hard, and that realisation made him allow himself to be whipped for Taehyun without trying to find some excuse.

“What do you think about red?” Taehyun then asked, catching Yeonjun a bit off guard as he was once again lost in thoughts.

“Red? Red hair?”

“Yes. Not like super bright though. Could you do that?”

“Sure-” Red hair, huh? A cherry Taehyun. Cute. “I’ll get bleach and dye sometime then! Let’s do it!”

“How exciting!” Taehyun giggled, then stopped to yawn, stretching his arms. “I’m sorry, I’m kind of tired today.”

“You’re tired? It’s ok, me too. We can go to sleep early if you want. There isn’t much we planned to do anyways, right? Like… We didn’t plan anything.”

“I’d watch a movie with you but we don’t have Netflix anymore, so… what else is there to do? Other than just look at Dan all night?” Yeonjun gazed over to the snake, which was silently slithering in it’s container.

“I would rather not look at Dan for too long.” He scratched his head, then stretched out his legs. Taehyun frowned.

“Why does nobody like him? Sohee once called him an ugly worm and my mom threatened to throw him out multiple times, the only one that supports him is Kai.”

“I support and accept him, but I’m not sure if I really wanna look at him all night, you know?”

“That’s sad, because I have a bunch of cute snake videos we could have watched tonight.” 

The concept of Taehyun, sweet shy and well behaved angel Taehyun being obsessed with these reptiles was really strange to Yeonjun. But it made him even more unique and outstanding from others. Taehyun was strange in such an endearing way, it was weird to know that he almost had no friends in school whatsoever. How was it possible that no one other than him and Kai wanted to hang out with him? He was a theatre kid, a ‘nerd’, yes, but he was pretty, smart, interesting. How come that nobody was really talking to him? Or hitting on him?

Then again, Yeonjun wasn’t talking to him before either, probably because he didn’t notice him at all, and because he had a reputation to hold up. And now, it was Taehyun who helped him hold up that reputation instead of ruining it in any way. They friendship started in a weird way. And it continued to go weird ways. And it would end in a weird way. Right. It would end. That was… a little sad.

“When we break up…” Yeonjun now decided to somehow touch on that topic. “What are we going to do? We’ll still be friends, right?”

“I sure hope so. We just can’t hang out, at least not in public.”

“For a while. We can officially become friends again after some time, right? And then we can do stuff together like normal.”

“Do you mean ‘normal’ like the things we usually do or ‘normal’ as in, a normal friendship?”

“What even  _ is _ a normal friendship, Taehyun?”

“This certainly isn’t.”

“No?”

“As far as I know, guys aren’t usually this touchy with each other. I mean, I don’t understand why, because physical affection is really important, even just in platonic friendships. Kai and me are super touchy too, at least in private. He gives great hugs.”

“So you don’t mind being so close to me all the time?”

“Obviously not.” Taehyun laughed and leaned a bit closer, tilting his head and looking at Yeonjun with big puppy eyes. “I wouldn’t always make the first move if I minded. It’s nice to be so cuddly in public, to be honest.”

“And in private?” Yeonjun watched a fond smile appear on Taehyuns lips.

“Just as nice. Given our situation, I think we quickly grew comfortable with being so close. Like it isn’t even a big deal when we hug or hold hands. I enjoy your closeness.”

“Me too…” Yeonjun only wished that maybe there could be even more closeness. A bit more holding hands, a bit more hugging, a bit more- kissing, maybe.

Obviously that wasn’t going to happen, because the two were friends and platonic kisses weren’t really the usual thing to do. It was a little sad, of course, but maybe it would benefit Yeonjun, keeping him from falling more for Taehyun to the point that it might actually hurt him. He was glad about his situation now, and he thought that he might have figured out this feeling he had for his  _ fake _ boyfriend. It was a crush, quite a big one, yes, but just being friends with Taehyun was perfectly fine, and he honestly preferred staying friends, he felt like being in a real romantic relationship might be too much. Then again, that would probably fulfill the desire to be closer to him, even in private, if they’d ever date.

No, hold up, it was silly to even think about this. God, why was his mind so full and clouded with thoughts and feelings about Taehyun only?

When someone knocked on the door, Yeonjun flinched. He had been lost deep down in his thoughts again.

“Come in,” Taehyun called and when the door opened, Taehyuns mother carefully came in.

“Do you boys have everything you need? Do you need blankets or pillows or anything?”

“I have everything here.”

“Good.” Mrs Kang eyed the two, as if to find out what the two had been doing during their time alone. “I’ll already say good night then. Don’t stay up too late and don’t be loud, ok?”

“Alright. Good night, mom.”   
“Good night, Mrs Kang.” And the door closed again. Taehyun yawned once again.

“It’s still super early, right? But I’m already so tired… Should we just get ready for bed and then just chat or something?”

“Sure, why not.” Yeonjun nodded and pulled over his bag to open it and pull his clothes he had brought to sleep in out, just some sweatpants and a shirt. He took off the black denim jacket and stretched once, then started unbuttoning his neat white shirt he had spent hours searching for in his wardrobe just for this occasion, then he noticed it. His hands froze at just the third button. Look who was watching him. Taehyun.

“Are you staring?” It took Taehyun a few seconds to realize that he was being spoken to.

“What? No, I just- Maybe you want to change in the bathroom, Yeonjun.”

“Ah. Right. Sorry, almost showed off my amazing, well trained, handsome body to you.”

“Arg, shut up!” Taehyun was blushing again. How cute... Yeonjun wondered if he would have said anything by himself if Yeonjun wouldn’t have caught him, well- staring. He packed all his clothes and stood up.

“Where’s the bathroom though?”

“The door just opposite of this room. When you come out of here, just go straight.”

“I’d never go straight, Taehyun.” Taehyun snorted.

“Then go gay, just find your way to the bathroom!”

“I will, don’t worry!” Yeonjun grinned at Taehyun, whose cheeks still were slightly rosy, then left the room.

Yeonjun honestly kind of felt like a college fuckboy in these sweatpants compared to Taehyun, who was prettily sitting on his bed in pastel coloured pajamas, removing his makeup. The two had sat down on the bed as Yeonjun had honestly gotten kind of sick of just sitting on the floor this whole time.

Taehyun threw his makeup wipe in the trashcan next to his desk, the sat back down next to Yeonjun, closer than before, with their arms touching. The two were leaning on the wall that was pretty much covered in pillows, and when Taehyun pulled the blanket over his and Yeonjuns legs, it felt so comfortable that Yeonjun was worried he might fall asleep like this. The only thing that was missing was something in his arms, well, someone obviously. But he wouldn’t dare to pull in Taehyun now. Because maybe that’d be too much for him.

“Haven’t you slept well again?” Yeonjun asked when the boy to his left had just been sitting there in silence, head lowered, as if he was about to fall asleep.

“Not really. The past two nights have been kind of rough. I still think a lot. I feel unsafe for some reason.” Taehyun pulled his legs to his torso and hugged them, letting his chin rest on his knees. “I’m not even sure why. I’m safe here. My mom is really trying her best to cope with everything but it feels weird.”

“No, I get that.” Yeonjun now  _ did _ put his arm around Taehyun, to maybe give him some comfort. “I guess you’re just scared that you family will treat you different, right?”

“Yeah…” Taehyun softly exhaled and lifted his chin again. “I know my mother apologized but she wouldn’t have said these things if she didn’t at least somewhat mean it. I-” Taehyuns voice got more quiet, slightly shaky. “A lot of things are changing for me now. There’s just a lot going on. And it just kind of scares me.”

“I’m here for you, though. I can help you go through this, you know? I can- Well the least I can do is just watch your steps and try hold you when you stumble. If you’d like that.”

“Of course I’d like that.” Now he leaned his head on Yeonjuns shoulder. “Thank you. I really appreciate you, Hyung.”

“No problem.” Yeonjun watched Taehyun close his eyes. “That’s what friends are for.”

It was nice to just sit there for a few minutes, with Taehyun next to him, almost falling asleep. Yet after some time, a muffled buzz disrupted the silence and Taehyun opened his eyes again slowly, as if his lids were made out of iron, too heavy to lift up just like that. He reached out to his phone that was buried somewhere in the masses of pillows he had on his bed.

“Kai texted.”

Yeonjun didn’t mean to look at Taehyuns phone, but he just kind of had to, and when he saw the chat filled with a bunch of hearts and emojis and exciting seeming texts, he couldn’t help but grin. Of course Taehyun was going to be very soft around his best friend, but he didn’t expect him to be the kind of person who aggressively spams him with pink and orange hearts.

“Tell him I said hi.” Yeonjun watched Taehyun type out a message for his friend.

‘I’m busy rn, Yeonjun is over. He said hi’ the message said, and just a few seconds later, one from Kai arrived.

‘OOOOOOH! romantic ò3ó’ and then a ‘say hi back’.

“Kai says ‘hi’ too. Should we send him a picture?”

“Ahh, yes! Cute, let’s do it!” Taehyun opened the camera and turned around so that Yeonjun could place his chin on Taehyuns shoulder and hug him from behind, as gently and softly as possible.

“Look how adorable we are. The nations couple.” Yeonjun leaned forward as best as he could to look at the picture they had taken. Taehyun sent it to Kai with a sweet caption, saying good night. “Can you send it to me too?” Taehyun nodded, and Yeonjun sat up straight again. Taehyun was about to lean on his shoulder again, when he paused. He softly touched it, moving Yeonjuns white shirt around slightly.

“You’re tattooed?”

“Oh. You can see it through the shirt?”

“Slightly. Can I see?” Yeonjun hesitated before he tried to roll up the sleeve of his shirt enough for Taehyun to see the tattoo.

“That’s pretty. It that… a tree?”

“A weeping willow. My birth… flower? Well, more of a birth tree. I got it a year ago or so.”

“It’s so pretty…” Taehyun traced the black outlines of the bold and simple branches so very softly, looking like he was holding his breath, fingers slowly gliding over Yeonjuns skin.

“A while ago you said, you like tattoos.”

“Yes. I won’t get one, probably, but I like looking at other peoples tattoos. It’s a beautiful form of art.” Taehyun took one last look at it, then softly pulled down Yeonjuns sleeve again, instead taking his arm and holding onto it. He rested his head on the place he had previously traced his fingers along. Yeonjun really, really enjoyed it. How soft and gentle Taehyun was with him. How tightly he held onto his arm. “Do you have more?”

“No. It’s my only one but I want to get more. I don’t really have the money for it right now though. I’m kinda broke. Moving out and stuff.”

“Right, you’re moving out…” Taehyuns voice began to get more tired. Yeonjun couldn’t see his face but he assumed that Taehyun was probably about to fall asleep. “When are you moving?”

“Next week. Spending my first night in the apartment on Friday.”

“Cool. That’s cool.” Taehyuns hold loosened a bit around Yeonjuns arm. “When I move out-” He stopped, seemingly thinking about what he wanted to say. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” Yeonjun chuckled as he watched his boyfriend let go of his arm, positioning himself slightly different to sit, well, lay more comfortably. “Are you that tired?”

“Three hours of sleep last night weren’t enough at all.” Taehyun giggled tiredly and looked up to Yeonjuns face, eyes soft and sleepy, and simply beautiful. A smile appeared on his face, in contrast to the rather worrying thing he had just told Yeonjun.

“Three hours? Taehyun… We can go sleep now if you want, I’m getting kind of tired too.” Although it kind of hurt Yeonjun to just let go, he was ready to stand up and get on his mattress, but Taehyun held him in place, quickly wrapping his arms around his torso.

“No, no, let’s not sleep yet!” Taehyun seemed like he wanted to sound super enthusiastic about it, but he couldn’t quite convince Yeonjun. To Yeonjuns dismay, he let go of his body again. “Let’s still talk. I wanted to get to know you better. But we have barely talked. Tell me something. Tell me about your apartment.”

“Well- It’s small but nice. It’s in a building a bit further away from the city, but closer to school than our house right now. It’s-” There wasn’t really much interesting to say about it, and so far everything was going smoothly with packing up and getting ready, for once his parents were enthusiastically helping and supporting him, probably because they too finally wanted to see him gone just as much as Yeonjun was excited about leaving them and their terrible apartment behind. “Yeah. I don’t know what else to tell you about it, it’s honestly not as exciting as you’d think.”

“Are you gonna live alone?”

“Yes.”

“And are you scared?”

“No. Not at all actually. It might get chaotic at first but I don’t think it’s gonna be that bad. I think I can take care of myself well. I’ve always been very independent, living alone probably isn’t gonna be as different from my current lifestyle, considering that my parents already don’t do much for me anymore. We also barely talk, so…” Taehyun nodded, listening well to Yeonjun, or at least seeming like he did. He shifted closer to his fake boyfriend, resting his head on Yeonjuns shoulder first, then sighing, as if that position wasn’t comfortable enough. Yeonjun let him move around a little more until he just put his arms around him, pulling him closer so that Taehyuns head could rest on his chest.

For a second he thought that maybe it was too much, too sudden, as Taehyun didn’t move, but he then realised how Taehyun made himself smaller, as if to better fit Yeonjuns embrace.

“Keep talking, Hyung.”

“About what though?”

“I don’t care. About anything. School or your friends or your hobbies or…”

“Why don’t you tell me something?”

“I’m too tired.”

“Aw. Ok. Fine.” Yeonjun tried to think of something he could talk about while one of his hands moved up to Taehyuns head, so that he could do the one thing he liked doing the most; play with Taehyuns soft pretty hair. “There really isn’t much to tell you though…”

“Tell me about what music you like.”

“I listen to rap and hip hop and all kinds of things- Jungkook, you know, that friend form the cafe, he knows someone who’s a music producer and who works together with a really cool rapper, so I like listening to him. He isn’t really known and actually works as a botanist,  _ but _ he also raps and writes songs.” By now Yeonjun had lowered his voice a bit, almost as if he didn’t actually want Taehyun to hear him.

Yeonjun talked a bit more, mainly about music, what artists and songs and genres he liked, but the things he said didn’t really held any weight to them, were just ramble instead, just so he could say  _ anything _ . When he made a little pause, Taehyun opened his eyes just a little bit, looking at Yeonjun.

“Sorry if I fall asleep, Jun.” Then he closed his eyes again, Yeonjun started smiling so brightly, and he got scared that maybe Taehyun could hear his heart beating faster.

He said  _ Jun _ , he called him a nickname most of his friends gave him, yet it was different to hear it from Taehyun.

“It’s ok. You should sleep.” It looked like Taehyun wanted to respond with something, but he ended up nodding ever so slightly. “Good night, Taehyunnie.” Taehyun hummed.

“Night.”

Yeonjun felt a lot. He felt so much, overwhelming tiredness of course, but also happiness. Calmness. Warmth. Comfort. Who would have thought that he’d hold Taehyun as if he was his greatest treasure and fall asleep with him in his arms? It was a beautiful feeling, which was made even more beautiful by the fact that Taehyun genuinely felt safe around Yeonjun, that he really…  _ liked _ him. Maybe not in the way Yeonjun liked him, but that was ok. There was no need for Taehyun to like him in just that special way as Yeonjun did.

And yet there was this slight pain in his chest, like a sting in his heart, when he looked at Taehyun laying in his arms like this. It was almost unrecognisable, but it  _ was _ there. Yeonjun could only hope that maybe, it’d go away. Soon.

He wasn’t even able to think about it more as tiredness entered his body so rapidly like he had never felt before, he simply had to close his eyes now, yet he tried to keep them open for just a second longer, just so he could admire the boy, no, the  _ angel _ clinging to his body, breathing steadily and slowly. Yeonjun held back a giggle as he looked at Taehyun, wondering why he hadn’t realised his crush sooner.

Whatever. He understood his feelings now. He closed his eyes and and hugged Taehyun tighter, just a little bit. He felt happy. At peace. That really was what mattered now. These feelings, and Taehyuns warmth, made falling asleep incredibly easy, even though it wasn’t even close to midnight yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... one of the longer chapters again... This one was kind of nerve wrecking to me (not as nerve wrecking as the coming 2 though) but I liked it a lot!  
> Tonight I've finished writing chapter 10, so I will post both 9 and 10 here tomorrow! And then I've finally caught up and updates will be a LOT slower again... But I'm quite excited to be up to date here too!
> 
> Thank you once again for all your support! This already got so much more love than I would have ever thought! I feel so supported and motivated, aaah~


	9. Chapter 9

Waking up next to Yeonjun.

It had happened two days ago. It was surprisingly early when Taehyun had woken up on Saturday, his head on Yeonjuns chest, arms wrapped around him as if he was a big teddy bear. Yeonjun had still been sleeping at that point, eyes shut tight, lips slightly parted, face pretty and innocent looking.

Taehyun didn’t exactly remember how he ended up falling asleep in Yeonjuns arms like this. But it was certainly nice. Yeonjun was warm, and his arms were strong, holding onto him tightly. It gave Taehyun a weird sense of safety. And so, when Taehyun had woken up, he stayed like that, in his arms, not feeling the need to get up or even just move at all. He just rested in his fake boyfriends arms, well- No. He rested in his  _ friends _ arms, waiting for him to wake up soon, being too scared to actually wake him up himself.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for Yeonjun to wake up. Taehyun had his eyes closed again, so Yeonjun didn’t seem to have noticed that Taehyun was already awake. He slowly lifted his hand up to Taehyuns head like he had done so many times now, and then let his hand rest there. Only a few seconds later, he felt a pair of soft lips on his forehead, just for a few moments, then they pulled away again, leaving Taehyun with a warm, excited feeling.

Yeonjun always treated him so softly, with such care. He touched him as if he was a doll made out of porcelain, easily breakable. And Taehyun couldn’t deny it, he liked that. Because it was different from what he was used to. Kais physical affection mostly consisted of almost aggressive hugs and sudden cuddle attacks. But Yeonjun was gentle and careful. Maybe that was the difference between a best friend and a ‘boyfriend’.

Taehyun proceeded to simply not move even after the quick peck Yeonjun had planted on his forehead, just to see if Yeonjun would maybe wake him up. He didn’t. And at some point Taehyun thought that maybe he had fallen asleep again, so he opened his eyes again, just to catch a pair of tired eyes looking back at him. While Yeonjuns expression rather turned into shock, Taehyun simply smiled at him.

“Good morning.”

“How long have you been awake?” Yeonjun had now slowly pulled away his hand from Taehyuns hair.

“Just woke up,” Taehyun lied in response. He wasn’t really sure why he said that, maybe to not make Yeonjun feel embarrassed.

Despite both being awake, and being aware of, well, their closeness, being fully conscious and not half asleep like last night, they stayed like this, in eachothers arms a little longer. It was honestly quite comfortable, and felt safe. Yeonjuns embrace was a safe place.

_ Yeonjun _ was someone who would keep Taehyun safe at all cost. And he’d learn that today, on this Monday, that started out so peaceful.

Today, Kai had been bugging Taehyun with questions, wanting to know every single detail of Taehyuns weekend. Questions about holding hands and cuddles and kisses, if they had slept in one bed and if they had fallen asleep whispering sweet and innocent love confessions to each other. Kai had never been in a relationship before but it was obvious that he was a hopeless romantic.

Taehyun tried to tell the truth, then again, the truth wasn’t really interesting, aside from them falling asleep in eachothers arms. All that hand holding and Yeonjun playing with Taehyuns hair was a pretty normal way for them to show affection between two friends by now.

When Kai asked about kisses, he told the truth. There weren’t really any, aside from that forehead kiss, well, rather peck. Kai totally loved the thought of Taehyun and Yeonjun already having shared a bunch of kisses, yet they were still too shy to do it more.

‘What a shame,’ Taehyun though when Kai cooed, dreamily holding his chest and looking at his best friend. ‘He’s not gonna be very happy about the breakup.’

Kais curious questioning had to come to an end when the lunch break started. The boy would once again leave Taehyun alone with Yeonjun. Taehyun may have missed the time he usually always spent with Kai, yet he knew that his best friend had made a bunch of new friends in the drama club whom he often studied and practiced his lines with. Just two more weeks and Taehyun could join them too.

Kai had left and Taehyun was now leaning on the wall next to his classroom, waiting for his fake boyfriend to pick him up.

“Hyun?” Taehyun lifted his head to smile at Yeonjun, who was approaching from the same direction Kai had just left from.

“Hi, Hyung!” Yeonjun pulled him into a quick hug, then let go to eye him.

“What are you wearing?” Yeonjuns eyes widened a bit as he analyzed his friends outfit. “Not your usual attire.” Taehyun looked down on himself as if to check what he was wearing. Just a pair of his usual jeans, a white shirt, a black denim jacket.

“Chunky pastel sweaters wouldn’t really go with this jacket I think.” Taehyun smiled.

“Is that- mine?”

“You left it at my house so I thought, why not wear it today? It’s probably going to give me a bunch of boyfriend points if people spot me in your clothes. You can take it back if you want though-” Taehyun was about to get out of that too big jacket to hand it to Yeonjun, but he stopped him.

“No, keep it for now! It looks good on you. You’re pretty.”

“Me or my outfit?”

“Both, obviously. But I’m serious. Don’t always wear these huge sweaters, you drown in them.”

“But they’re so comfortable!” Taehyun adjusted his jacket before linking arms with Yeonjun. “Maybe I like drowning in big sweaters. I’m not really the type of person to show off my body or anything. The more I can hide in my clothes, the better.”

“Arg, what a shame… But I can’t tell you what to wear, right, Taheyunnie? I can only tell you that you’re really pretty in like… casual clothes like this.”

“And I can only thank you!” Taehyun giggled. “Before we go anywhere, can I go to my locker? I’ll need to get some stuff from there.”

“Sure, let’s go, let’s go.” With their arms linked, the two walked down the hallways through the school, Taehyun leading the way. The place his lockers were at was usually pretty crowded, Taehyun knew that a lot of people of his grade were spending their time there.

When they reached the lockers, Taehyun began opening his, feeling the stares of the people around him on his back while Yeonjun was softly wrapping his arms around him, hugging him from behind. He was used to all that attention he gained from simply being around Yeonjun by now, and these soft, loving gestures, which became more and more realistic with every passing day, were making the people around them whisper, stare even more.

Taehyun loved it when Yeonjun did things like this. When he came so close to him. Because it was really believable. Yeonjun did a great job at acting whipped, really. He placed his chin on Taehyuns shoulder while Taehyun tried to find the books he needed for his math homework. It was weird, how natural it came to them by now, even though Yeonjun still seemed hesitant a lot of the times.

“Ah, Jun!” A voice somewhat familiar appeared behind them and Yeonjun let go of Taehyun to turn around. “Thank god I meet you here, I wanted to ask if you could pick me up on Saturday.” Now Taehyun also looked over his shoulder to see who had approached them. It was a boy with dusty pink hair, tall and handsome.

“Soobin, it’s just Monday and you’re worried about Saturday already?”   
“I’m probably gonna forget over the course of this week, so I’m asking already.” Soobin shrugged. “You’d just have to pick me up on Saturday because I don’t have a ride to Mins house. I know how to get home, but it’d be nice if you could drive me there.”

“Can do that, no problem.”

“Thanks, Jun.” Soobin now stepped next to Taehyun to eye him. “Wanna come too?”

“Come where?” Taehyun didn’t look up, still trying to pull his book out of the pile of reading material and folders.

“Party at Mins house. You’re familiar with them already, right? They wouldn’t mind you coming too.”

“Min doesn’t mind  _ anyone _ coming to their house. As long as you don’t fuck in their room and pick up your trash, you’re welcome at their parties.” Yeonjun laughed. “You wanna come with us?”

“I- I don’t think so. I don’t like going to, you know, big social gatherings. Doesn’t sound like I’d enjoy this.” Taehyun tried to smile as he finally got his book, putting it in his bag and closing his locker.

“Oh, don’t worry, we’d protect you from any harm and drunk fuckboys and drugs!” Soobin flashed a big smile, showing his deep dimples.

“No, really, I don’t- I don’t think I’d have a lot of fun there.” To be honest, a party with a bunch of people that may or may not know Yeonjun was probably the perfect place to pretend and act, but Taehyun was knew exactly that he’d only be uncomfortable there. Call him stuck up, but he didn’t like being around people that were under the influence of any substance, no matter if alcohol or drugs. Besides, his mother would  _ never _ let him go to any party. Then again, his mother wasn’t home on Saturday and would only come back on Sunday noon. But no, it might have been a great opportunity to show off their glorious fake relationship, but it would all only end up with Taehyun being incredibly uncomfortable.

“It’s fine, I don’t think you’d enjoy going there. Stay home, Hyun.” Yeonjun softly smiled at his fake boyfriend. “I know that you don’t-” Yeonjun stumbled when someone walked past him, bumping into him with his shoulder. “Yo, watch you where you’re-”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Taehyun felt his blood freeze in his veins when he heard the voice of the boy who had just brushed past Yeonjun. “Didn’t mean to ram into you like that.” He stopped walking and turned to face Yeonjun. “I was hoping to hit your boyfriend.” An ugly smile appeared on Han Kiwoons face. Yeonjun eyed him with pure disgust, then shook his head and turned his back.

“I don’t have time for your fuckery. Get your ass away.”

“Oh, what happened to you? Weren’t you so brave last week? Where’s that energy now?” Yeonjun didn’t answer, but then Kiwoon seemed to catch Taehyun looking at him with wide, and definitely scared eyes. “What are you looking at, cunt?  _ You  _ wanna fight me instead of your coward ass boyfriend?” Kiwoon dared to come a step closer, stepping between Yeonjun and Taehyun. Taehyun tried to back off, but only ended up bumping into the lockers behind him. Yet Yeonjun immediately reacted, forcefully pulling back Kiwoon, a fire starting to burn in his eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay the fuck away from Taehyun?”

“Oh, now you’re acting all dangerous? Come on, act! Try touch me again, what are you waiting for, Choi?” Kiwoon stepped closer to Yeonjun, who did not move an inch, instead stayed completely frozen, glancing at the boy standing uncomfortably close to him.

“I told you to not come close to Taehyun.” Yeonjuns voice was made of ice. Cold, hard, deadly, yet completely calm, as if there wasn’t an inferno raging in his gaze. “If you listen to me, I won’t have to do anything.”

“Yeonjun, let’s-” Taehyun tried speaking up, his voice was quiet but slightly shaky. Yes, he was scared. He was really  _ fucking  _ scared. He could only hope that Yeonjun would just turn around and grab Taehyun and leave, he could only hope that nothing was going to happen and Kiwoon would just give up. But of course they didn’t. Kiwoons head snapped in Taehyuns direction, throwing a smirk at him.

“Fuck off already, or do you want me to smash your ugly fucking head into the locker doors?”

“Keep your bitchass mouth shut already,” Yeonjun now hissed, voice as sharp as a knife. “Do not talk to my boyfriend. Ever. I’m literally going to break your fucking legs.”

“Then go ahead.” Kiwoon turned his head back, his face being only inches away from Yeonjuns, who now straightened his posture and lifted his chin slightly. “Come on. I’ve been waiting for this. What are you such a pussy for?” When Yeonjun continued to stay completely silent, only staring at the boy opposite of him, Kiwoon grunted and grabbed Yeonjun by the shoulders, pushing him away. “Don’t just fucking stand there, come on! Are you scared?” Despite tumbling back, Yeonjun quickly caught himself again, now pushing his hair back, sharply exhaling.

“As if I’m scared of a bastard like you.”

“Yeonjun, no-” Taehyun felt adrenaline rush through his body as he watched Yeonjun dashing forward, grabbing Kiwoon and ramming his knee into his stomach, leaving him to bend over in pain. Taehyun wanted interfere somehow, attempting to come closer to Yeonjun, yet was held back by Soobin, who was still standing next to him.

“Don’t, Taehyun, let him do this himself,” he murmured quietly, yet seeming just as worried as Taehyun himself.

“Fuck you, youson of a bitch-” Kiwoon straightened his back again, still holding his stomach with one hand.

“Did it hurt, or do you want another one?” Now Yeonjuns tone had changed completely. It had lost its calm, its sweetness it usually  _ always _ had, his honey voice had turned into something almost resembling a growl, something Taehyun had never expected to come out of Yeonjuns mouth. He was serious,  _ fuck _ he was mad. And yet Kiwoon had the audacity to put the dirtiest smile on his face.

“You promised me more. Come on. Show me what you can do. Don’t you wanna impress your stupid fag-”

“ _ Fuck off! _ ” Yeonjun once again stormed forward, ramming Kiwoon into the lockers opposite to Taehyun. A bunch of bystanders gasped when Kiwoon hissed as his head smashed against the thin metal doors of the lockers, causing a small dent in them.

But Kiwoon didn’t hesitate to push Yeonjun off, making him stumble and using at opportunity to take a swing at him. Taehyun was paralyzed, only being able to whimper when Yeonjun dodged the punch somehow.

“Jun, no, please stop!” Taehyun wasn’t sure if he actually said it out loud, or if he was just begging in his head for this to come to an end without Yeonjun getting hurt.

Even though Yeonjun was able to dodge the previous swing of Kiwoons fist, it didn’t seem like he could replicate his move again. Taehyun flinched and closed his eyes shut, hoping to not see what was going to happen, yet he heard it. He could  _ hear _ the punch, Yeonjuns painful groan, the shocked pants and whispers from the people around him. God, why weren’t they doing anything, why were they only watching, why was nobody trying to help?

Why wasn’t  _ Taehyun _ trying to do something about this? It was  _ his _ friend,  _ his _ Yeonjun getting beaten because of  _ him _ and yet Taehyun couldn’t move an inch. He felt Soobins grip around his arm tighten before he let go and Taehyun was able to open his eyes.

Yeonjun had stumbled back, holding his face and when Taehyun saw a drop of blood dripping on the floor, his eyes began to burn. But now Soobin was rushing forward.

“I’m gonna break every bone in your fucking body-” Kiwoon backed off slightly, rubbing his now bruised fist, when Soobin, being considerably taller than even the giant that was Kiwoon, approached. Taehyun finally snapped out of his paralysis, using that chance to try and pull Yeonjun back.

“Hyung, are you ok?” His voice was trembling as he looked into Yeonjuns narrowed, rage filled eyes. He pulled his hands away from his face to reveal a bloody nose and lip. Taehyun tried his best to not cry right now.

Why was he so dumb? Why was Yeonjun so goddamn stupid? Why would he get in such a stupid fight, just because of Taehyun? None of this was acting anymore. None of this was fake. Yeonjun was actually mad. And he was fighting for him.

Soobin couldn't land a hit on Kiwoon anymore as a high, almost outraged voice echoed through the hallway.

"Han, Choi, what is this all about?" Soobin immediately backed off when the small figure of a woman fought her way through the masses of watching students. All three of the boys said nothing, Yeonjun still trying to not get blood all over himself.

"Han? You seem to get into fights quite often. Care to explain?" The woman coldly looked at Kiwoon, who was heavily breathing, probably still filled with adrenaline.

"Nothing big," he grunted. "A little argument, that's about it."

“Can you explain why Mister Choi is bleeding then?”

“He provoked me.”

“ _ He  _ provoked you?” Soobin hissed at him, seemingly having to hold himself back from not attacking Kiwoon. “You insulted him and his boyfriend and pushed him and say  _ he _ provoked  _ you _ ? You’re joking!”

“Bin, come on, you’re only gonna get yourself in trouble.” Yeonjun tried his best to keep his friend from lashing out. “Soobin didn’t do anything. It was just me and Han.”

“I see.” The woman scanned all four boys intensely, then nodded. “Han Kiwoon, Choi Yeonjun… Would you please come with me then.” Without waiting for an answer, she already turned around, expecting the two to follow her.

“Wait for me after school,” Yeonjun quickly told Taehyun, with a painful smile on his bloody lips, before he followed the teacher through the crowd.

“Sorry about that…” Soobin muttered, putting his hands in his pockets when the crowd around them had started going on with their day. “Yeonjun doesn’t get mad often. He usually minds his own business.”

“Then why did this happen just now?” Taehyun leaned against his locker, his eyes still burning with worry.

“Because he loves you?” Well not really, but- “And Yeonjun doesn’t let anyone fuck with the people he loves.” Soobin gently patted Taehyuns shoulder with his gigantic hands. “I’m glad you two found each other. He’s happier with you.”

“He is?”

“He really is in love again. Haven’t seen him like that since the very beginnings of his relationship with Hyunji.”

“Oh.” Taehyun forced a smile on his face. Yeonjun was better at this than he thought. “I’m happy to hear that.”

It was a heartbreaking story, really. All their friends were celebrating this relationship that wasn’t even real, that would come to an end in just two weeks from now. Taehyun hadn’t really thought about how to handle Kais reaction to their breakup, and he assumed that Yeonjun didn’t either.

“Imma leave you for know if that’s ok with you. Gotta find Beomgyu.” Soobin flashed his big pretty smile again. It wasn’t imaginable that just some moments ago he was about to beat Kiwoons ass for hurting Yeonjun.

“Sure, uh- See you around, Soobin Hyung.”

Taehyun had spent the rest of his lunch break with Kai again, deciding to study with him and his new found friends, yet couldn’t really focus on anything. His mind was stuck with Yeonjun. With his eyes and his voice and the danger and anger he emitted. With that weird validating feeling his protectiveness gave Taehyun.

And now Taehyun was waiting for Yeonjun outside of the school building, under a small roof to protect himself from the rain. The air smelled like summer despite the fall approaching soon.

“Hey, Hyun.” Yeonjun had pretty much snuck up to Taehyun, which caused him to slightly flinch.

“Are you ok?” Taehyun didn’t really know why that was the first question he had when he saw Yeonjun, drops of blood having stained his shirt. He had a little wound on his lip, but thankfully there wasn’t more that couldn’t be covered up with a bit of makeup.

“I guess so. Only really got one hit, right? I’ve been in worse fights.” Yeonjun grinned, but Taehyun couldn’t really smile, instead furrowed his brows in concern.

“Did it hurt?”

“Well, yeah, a bit I guess?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Taehyun didn’t answer. Well, yeah, for what was he sorry? For putting Yeonjun in danger maybe. After all, Kiwoon wouldn’t have disliked Yeonjun in the first place if it wasn’t for Taehyun.

“I just want to protect you, Hyun.”

“I know, because it’s our deal, but-”

“Forget about that stupid deal. You’re my friend. You’re important to me, Taehyun.”

“And you’re important to me too. That’s why I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“My god.” Yeonjun now gently placed his hands on Taehyuns shoulders, looking at his face with the softest eyes. “Taehyunnie, it’s fine. I get into fights sometimes. A little blood and bruises are nothing I can’t handle, ok? Kiwoon was suspended for a few days, I got some detention, nothing world ending happened. And I don’t think he will bother us again.” Taehyun sighed, shaking his head. Of course Yeonjun could tell him how a few bruises meant nothing, but still, Taehyun didn’t want it to happen. He didn’t want Yeonjun to be hurt in any way. He didn’t want him to get in trouble, especially not  _ because _ of Taehyun.

“Yeonjun-” Taehyun inhaled, wanting to say anything really but he didn’t quite know what to say. He sighed, then let himself fall into Yeonjuns arms, wrapping his arms around his body. Yeonjun seemed a bit taken aback for a few seconds, then pulled Taehyun close and chuckled lightly.

“You know what would hurt me the most? If  _ you _ got hurt in any way. That would be the worst for me. I wanna keep you safe, Taehyunnie.” Taehyun hugged his fake boyfriend tighter, hiding his face, and the smile that was growing on his lips, in the crook of Yeonjuns neck. What an idiot. Why would he care so much about Taehyun? Why would his safety and happiness be so important to him? Did Taehyun even deserve this? Did he deserve someone as comforting as Yeonjun?

It was weird how much Yeonjun felt like a home already, after just two weeks. How close they had become. That relationship between the two was more than just fake dating, a deal, but it was a genuine friendship. A friendship Taehyun cherished.

“Jun?” Taehyun lifted his head a bit and Yeonjun hummed in response. “You’re cold.” Taehyun could feel Yeonjuns cool skin through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Maybe a bit. It has gotten colder than I thought.”

“You can have your jacket back then…” Taehyun was about to take off the much too big jacket he had pretty much stolen from Yeonjun, but got stopped.

“No, it’s raining, keep the jacket. Keep it. You’ll get cold. And you’re pretty in it.” Taehyun hesitated a bit, then sighed.

“Maybe you’re a bit too protective of me.”

“I think I’m just doing my job as a great boyfriend right.” Yeonjun smiled, softly ruffling through Taehyuns hair.

“You really do.” Taehyun couldn’t help but wonder how it must be to be Yeonjuns  _ actual _ partner. They’d really be a lucky person. How much different would it be from now, from this faked love? What else would Yeonjun do and say, would his touch be even softer and his words be even more comforting? And what about his kisses? How different would they feel from the few acted out kisses they had shared?

Taehyun knew that he wasn’t really in the place to think about that, so he quickly scrapped these thoughts and questions and instead sigh once again.

“If you get a cold, I’ll break up with you.” Taehyun grinned as he closed the jacket, feeling a cold breeze on his body, yet Yeonjun only frowned.

“Aren’t you gonna do that anyways?”

“You’re right. Almost forgot about that.” Taehyun took a step back. “Then I’ll go now? We will see each other tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Yeonjun smiled lightly, putting his hands in his pockets. “Oh, and, uh- Before I forget, wanna go on a date?”

“What?” Taehyun furrowed his brows “A what now?”

“I should have worded that differently.” Yeonjun chuckled. “Jungkook, Jimin and Tae have been asking where my boyfriend was. So I thought we could visit them at the cafe, you know. They still wanna get to know you.”

“Sure, why not. When?”

“Some time this week, just, uh… tell me when you’re free?”

“Yes, ok. Sounds good. I’ll update you.”

“Nice.” Yeonjun smiled brightly, looking so warm that the cold october winds felt like a light summer breeze. “And by the way, I also got some hair dye. Red.” Taehyun felt excitement rising in his body.

“Thanks, Jun. I’m ready to become a tomato.”

“I think you’re gonna be more of… a red rose. Now come on, get home. I feel like it’s gonna get stormy soon.” Taehyun looked up the the rain clouded sky, getting darker and darker.

“Right.” He smiled, and somehow he wanted to give Yeonjun a quick kiss as a goodbye for today, but since nobody was around to witness it, it would have been pretty much meaningless and of no use. “See you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah. Get home safely.”

And Taehyun stepped out into the rain, getting soaked after just a few steps already. The way home would be a very cold one. But at least Taehyuns heart felt warm.


	10. Chapter 10

For the past days it hadn’t stopped raining. The summer seemed to have finally ended now, in mid october, and the cold and stormy fall was approaching. Even though Yeonjun was more of a summer child, he loved the transition from the hot sunny days into chillier ones, giving him a calm and cozy feeling.

Yeonjun almost jumped out of the bus that made halt at a station still a few meters away from his favourite little cafe. Of course he hadn’t thought about bringing an umbrella and so the only thing left for him to protect himself from the heavy rain was the hood of his rather thin hoodie.

With big steps he walked through the empty streets, lowering his head as if it could keep him from being soaked by the rain. The sky had significantly darkened already despite it being just 4 in the afternoon, probably caused by the almost black clouds that were hanging over the sun, not allowing a single ray of light to hit the earth.

Yeonjun was glad the cafe wasn't that far away from the bus stop, because a few more minutes of walking in the rain would have probably caused him to catch a big cold. The cafe was prettily lit, illuminating the dark street, immediately giving off a warm and welcoming feeling. Yeonjun pushed the door open and shuddered, pulling the wet hood from his head.

"AYYY, YEONJUN!" A young man greeted him by basically yelling at him, causing the heads of the few people in the cafe to turn. "Man, its it's been a while since you were last here, I missed you!"

"Hyung, you're so dramatic…” Yeonjun sighed as Jungkook ruffled through his hair as if he was his little brother. He then gasped and pulled his hand away quickly.

“My god, I ruined your hair for your date! I’m so sorry!”

“My hair was ruined before already. Speaking about my date though-” Yeonjun pushed his hair back, scanning the room for Taehyun.

“He’s here already.” Jungkook nodded over to a table at the window. Taehyun was prettily sitting there, resting his head on his hands, staring out of the window. He didn’t seem to have noticed Yeonjun yet, nor did he hear Jungkook call out his name when he entered. Yeonjun came closer and it reminded him a lot of the first time the two had met up here, where it was Taehyun that approached him.

It was crazy to think about it, actually. They had been just strangers that day, knowing absolutely nothing about each other, they had never held hands or kissed or even just laughed together. And now, when Taehyun finally realized that Yeonjun was here, he pulled out his ear buds and smiled brightly. When they first met here, Taehyun couldn’t even look into his face yet.

Just a little more than two weeks ago, Yeonjun had looked at these pretty lips of Taehyun and wondered to himself if they felt as soft as they looked. Yes, he did back then already. It’s not like he consciously thought ‘Wow, I want to kiss him’, but he was already amazed by his beautiful facial features, already curious and quite excited about acting as his boyfriend. And now here he was, crushing on that boy who’s face he just really liked in the beginning. Just that by now, he didn’t only adore his face but his entire being. Ok, that maybe sounded a little too dramatic. It was nothing more than a crush anyways.

“Hello, Hyung.”

“Taehyunnie!” Yeonjun sat down opposite of his boyfriend, smiling brightly. It was so very different from last time. “Have you ordered something already?”

“Not yet, I wanted to wait for you. Oh, and-” Taehyun put his earbuds back into their case, sliding them into the pocket of his jacket. “I’ll pay for us today, alright?”

“Oh, you don’t have to, I brought enough money-”

“You intended to pay last time, so I’ll do it today.”

“But I didn’t  _ actually _ -”

“Shh, Yeonjun, just let me do it!” Taehyun scrunched his nose, and Yeonjun could hardly say no anymore.

“Fine, fine,” Yeonjun agreed and held up the small plastic bag he had carried with him. “I got some dye by the way. So we can go back to your place later and make it red?”

“Oh, my mom is not gonna like that!” An excited grin appeared on Taehyuns face as he reached out to grab the bag, pulling out the bottle of dye and eyeing it. “Do you think it’s even going to be visible? Without bleach?”

“Sure, I’ve seen people with darker hair than yours go like neon red without lifting the colour first so it should be fine. Just trust me and my amazing hair dying abilities.”

“I always trust you, Hyung,” he then mumbled, still scanning the writing on the bottle. Wait.

“You do?”

“Obviously.” Taehyun let the bottle slip back into the bag and slid it over the table to Yeonjun. He then smiled at him again softly.

“Y- You said your mom wouldn’t like this, should we like hide from her or-” Yeonjun tried changing the topic, for no actual reason, but somehow he felt, well, interesting to say the least, maybe a bit flustered and excited at the thought of Taehyun really truly having trust in him.

“Oh, you’ve heard what my parents said yourself. If I just  _ do _ it, there’s nothing really they can do to stop it, right? I also doubt they’ll kick me out of the house because of some hair dye. And even  _ if _ , I still have a boyfriend with his own apartment that I can live with, right?” Yeonjun almost choked when he heard Taehyun say that, sounding so weirdly casual yet serious about it. “And if that doesn’t work out, I still have my best friend and his moms that would take me in at any time.”

“I think you living at my place would work perfectly fine.” Yeonjun tried to smirk but he was pretty sure he looked like an idiot right now. “There just isn’t a lot of furniture. I only have like one mattress in there so far, so-”

“Well, it’s not like we’ve never slept in one bed before.” Yeonjun stopped, looked at Taehyun, watched him softly giggle. None of them ever really talked about their sleepover that ended with them falling asleep and waking up in eachothers arms, tightly holding onto each other as if it was the most natural thing ever to do for two friends that barely knew each other for two weeks. Yeonjun wasn’t even sure if Taehyun had actually  _ remembered _ it up until now. “And it’s not like I’d never do it again.”

So Taehyun was basically inviting him to sleep in one bed again and cuddle and- He was probably joking. He wanted to make fun of that whole situation, right? Must be. Thankfully, Yeonjun didn’t have the chance to even think about it more than he should, as someone slammed the menu on the table, causing both Taehyun and Yeonjun to flinch.

“May I take your order? What do you want to drink?” Jungkook grinned at the two with gleaming eyes.

“I don’t need the menu, I already know!” Jungkook quickly got a little notepad out to write down Taehyuns order. “A strawberry tea for me.”

“Oh! Well, you know it. One for me too, Jungkook.”

“Nice, nice. Y’all want some cake maybe? Or waffles?”

“I’ll take whatever cake you recommend,” Taehyun answered and Jungkook took notes.

“Then give me whatever Jimin recommends.”

“He’s pretty much gonna recommend you whatever is most expensive.”   
“That’s ok!” Yeonjun laughed. “I don’t have to pay today.”

“I’m gonna try convince Jimin to not scam you guys into buying a whole pie. Be right back then!” Jungkook smiled brightly, then picked up the menu again and turned away.

“You’re getting a strawberry tea? It’s-”

“Your favourite, yes. You always get it, I remember that.”

“You did?”

“Of course.” Taehyun flashed his beautiful smile. “It was one of the first things I ever really learned about you. I remember how amazed I was by the fact that you loved something as simple yet cute as strawberry tea, considering how much I was convinced that you were one of the toughest guys out there.”

“And you really ended up remembering that…” Yeonjun huffed, studying Taehyuns face as if it was their first time meeting. How beautiful the boys features were… His lips looking so pillowy and soft, almost inviting Yeonjun to kiss them again. “We’ve changed since then.”

“We have. Can’t believe I used to be scared of you. And now you’re one of my closest friends- Well, I only really have two friends but- You get me.”

“I do.” Yeonjun smiled as if he didn’t just get friendzoned- Well. It’s not being friendzoned if you don’t actually feel the need be in a relationship with someone, right? Right. “I’m glad the two of us became close friends this quickly.”  _ ‘I wish we could be- No, I don’t, this is ok. _ ’

“I don’t usually open up this quickly to be honest.”

“Well, me neither, but I guess the two of us are just…”

“Made for each other?” Taehyun completed Yeonjuns sentence with a wide smile, a sweet but silly one, and it was clear that he was joking but Yeonjuns eyes widened nonetheless. God, why would he  _ say _ something like this so casually…? How did Taehyun, the shy one, manage to say shit like this and flirt all playfully, just for fun, without ever getting flustered? And why was Yeonjun the one whos heartbeat fastened rapidly and face started heating up? Well- He knew why, but-

“Aight, here’s your tea, your cake, and your Jungkook, my shift is over so let’s chat.” Jungkook was back, put a tray with tea and cake on the table and took off the little apron, pulling a chair closer to sit down with the couple. “This one,” Jungkook pointed at a piece of dark chocolate cake with a single strawberry on top, “is Jimins recommendation. The other one is my favourite.”

“Thanks a lot, Kook. The cafe is pretty busy right now, are you sure you can sit with us?” Yeonjun, glad that Jungkook had once again stopped him from overthinking about things that hadn’t left him alone for the past few days, took the cups and plates from the tray, pushing them over to Taehyun.

“Telling me that I can’t sit with you? Man, who are you, Regina George?” Jungkook pouted. “It’s ok, we have a new employee whos helping us, I can go a bit slower. I wanna talk to my bestie Yeonjun again, come on!”

“Welp.” Yeonjun admired the piece of cake in front of him, then looked back up to Jungkook, grinning at him. “As long as you’re not getting fired?”

“Come on, as if my boyfriend would fire me. Anyways…” Jungkook now leaned back in his chair, eyeing Yeonjun. “No offence but you kinda look beaten up. Like what's up with your lip?”

“Oh-” Yeonjun lifted his hand up to his mouth, brushing over the small but almost healed wound Kiwoon had left there on Monday. “Just got into a small fight.” Taehyun sighed at Yeonjuns answer. “Some dude’s been harrassing Taehyun for a while and I guess it got physical this time. It’s fine though-”

“Stop saying that it’s ‘fine’, please.” Taehyun looked down at the table, an almost pained and worried expression on his face.”It was terrible to watch.”

“You know, Taehyun…” Now Jungkook shifted his chair to be able to talk to Taehyun better. “I’m sure it hurts to see your boyfriend get into a fight, but Yeonjun- He’s very protective over those that he loves. He wants to keep you safe, you know? From what I’ve learned, Yeonjun shows his love by caring for and protecting others. And he’s an absolutely reckless troublemaker, not to say dumbass, so-” Jungkook sighed, yet smiled.

“I’m glad he takes care of me.” Even though he was speaking to Jungkook, Taehyun now looked directly into Yeonjuns eyes. “But I just want him to be okay.” Yeonjun wanted that too. He wanted Taehyun to be okay, and he’d do anything for that.

“You seem to be a good boy, Taehyun. A sweet and innocent boy. Yeonjun may be different from you and show his love in ways that are weird to you, but he does genuinely love and care for you. And I think you’ll get used to it.” Taehyun nodded as he listened to Jungkook.

“No, I get that. I just- well, I love him too, right? I love Yeonjun. So it hurts to see.” It was insane how Taehyun could still keep eye contact with Yeonjun while saying something like this. While saying that he loved him, which was obviously not true, but-

Just for a second, it felt real. The way his eyes were still fixed on Yeonjuns face, the way his voice was clear and confident, it was so real. Of course it was. Taehyun was an actor. And for some reason, Taehyun saying that he loved Yeonjun hurt. It was stinging in his heart, just like a single needle poking through his chest, a short and light pain, but it was noticeable, it was there, strong enough for Yeonjun to not be able to ignore it. Well, that wasn’t… good.

And just now, Taehyun finally broke the eye contact to Yeonjun and really looked at Jungkook.

“Can I ask you something? About your relationship, if that isn’t too much?” Jungkook seemed to get excited over that question.

“Yes, oh my god! Ask anything!”

“Right, so… Your boyfriend is the owner of this?”

“Taehyung, yes.”

“And the other boy that works here-”   
“Jimin!”

“He also is Taehyungs boyfriend?”

“Exactly!” Jungkook smiled brightly. “I met him about four years ago and we became a couple two years ago. And a few months later, he met Jimin at a party and they fell in love at first sight! I think-”

“Didn’t they like, hook up while drunk?” Yeonjun furrowed his brows, trying to recall what Jimin had told him once when he got curious about their relationship.

“Oh, yeah, but it was also love at first sight! Tae and me always were transparent with each other and I was always aware and ok with him having multiple partners.”

“So it wasn’t weird for you? Or for Jimin?”

“I mean, there was some trouble at the beginning. For Jimin at least. I myself am not a very jealous person, and neither was Jimin, but I guess he sometimes got the feeling that I was superior to him as I’ve known Tae for longer than him. He said that he was scared of just ending up being someone that would provide Tae with the kind of affection I can’t give- as I’m asexual-” Jungkook sighed.

Back when their relationship was still kind of troubled, Yeonjun didn’t even know them yet. By the time he met the three, everything was working out perfectly already, their relationship was healthy and steady.

“Obviously,” Jungkook continued, “that wasn’t the case, Tae loves Jimin just as much as he loves me. It took a while but it all ended up working out just fine. Jimin and me love Tae, Tae loves us.”

“And, if I may ask, how is the relationship between you and Jimin?” Taehyuns curiosity surprised Yeonjun in all honesty.

“We are just pretty much best friends. It sure is a friendship different from most, but the two of us aren’t really in  _ love _ .”

“Interesting.” Taehyun nodded, then smiled at Jungkook and later, at Yeonjun. Yeonjun could guess what he was thinking right now. Their friendship was also different from most. And they also weren’t really in love, well- Taehyun wasn’t. And Yeonjun wasn’t in  _ love _ either. Right?

“I’ve never really seen a relationship dynamic like yours outside of fiction, so I apologize for the questions.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine! If someone’s got questions, I am willing to answer.” Jungkook smiled, looked over to Yeonjun. “He was pretty curious too at the beginning. But he asked Jimin instead of me, so I never got to tell the story.”

“And how did you meet Yeonjun?”

“Good question.” Jungkook kept his eyes on Yeonjun, waiting for him to answer the question.

“When did I come in here for the first time? Maybe eight months ago or so? I kinda got lost and it was really cold outside so I got in here. And, uhm- They just took me in I guess.” Yeonjun smiled as he sipped on his strawberry tea, the sweet familiar taste taking him back to the day he froze his ass off, entering the cafe and immediately being greeted by warm smiles and welcoming greetings.

“Right, right! I remember that. We got along well from the very start.” Jungkook sighed, also seemingly reminiscing about the ‘old times’.

“Koo, I know your shift is over but-” Then suddenly a boy came up behind him, making him flinch. The boy looked surprised when he identified the two guys Jungkook had been sitting with. “Oh! Yeonjunnie! And his sweet little boyfriend, how nice!”

“Hi, Hyung!” Yeonjun grinned at Jimin, who had placed his arms on Jungkooks shoulders to lean on him.

“Say, Yeonjunnie, do you like the chocolate cake? I thought it’d go well with the tea.”

“It’s great, really!” They may had known each other for a long time, but Yeonjun was surprised with Jimins pure loveliness every time. He was pretty much like a fairy, or an angel, or an angelfairy, and Yeonjun had no idea how he pulled that off, being so sweet and innocent all the time when he was actually a loud ass diva.

“I’m glad, I’m glad! I’d love to chat with you but we’ve got a bunch of work to do. Koo, would you come help us maybe? Our new employee is a bit overwhelmed by some of our machines, and I think you’d be the best one to help her right now.”

Jungkook sighed, but then nodded, getting up and putting his chair back. “Okay, okay. I’ll talk to you guys some other time. I’d love to get to know you actually, Taehyun! So, come back for a date soon, will you?” He didn’t really wait for an answer, but already turned away to help in the kitchen, Jimin following him.

“He’s sweet,” Taehyun said as he watched the two disappear behind the counter. “Both of them.”

“All three are honestly like a new found family. Obviously they’re not as close to me as Beomgyu or Soobin, but especially Jungkook is like an older brother.” Yeonjun smiled while swaying his teacup in his hands. “Pretty much destiny that I found this cafe and met them.”

“And they’re so supportive! All your friends love me!”

“Obviously they do. If I love you, they’re basically forced to love you too.” Yeonjun took another sip of his tea, then he remembered something. “By the way, I think you’d might want to know about this too-”

“What is it?” Taehyun furrowed his brows, a slight worry gleaming in his eyes.

“Beomgyu found out.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah.” Yeonjun sighed, poking into the piece of cake with his fork. “He found out, almost everything just by himself. God damn galaxy brain. I don’t think we need to worry, I mean at least I can talk to him all openly now, but still-”

“What about your other friend? Soobin? Does he suspect anything?”

“Nope, not in the slightest. And I’m not gonna tell him I think. What about you though, you haven’t told Kai yet, right?”

“No…” Taehyun leaned back, looking at the table, the slightest bit of guilt showing on his face. “I wanted to tell him at the beginning but he got too excited before I could even tell him. He’s too sweet and supportive and honestly, if he found out, it’d break his little heart. I feel bad for it, I really do, but maybe someday I can tell him, long after our breakup…” God, Yeonjun kept forgetting about the breakup that was constantly creeping closer every day. “I don’t think he’d be mad if he found out, but-” Taehyun huffed. “I feel bad for not… Telling him when he’s my best friend. I’ve never kept a secret from him.”

“Hey, I get that. To be honest, I don’t feel so good about hiding everything from Soobin, but if they’re never finding out, it’ll be ok.”

“Well, that’s not really morally correct but you’re right. It’s too late to reveal the truth now anyways.” Taehyun cut off a small piece of his cake. “Maybe after we’re done with this I’ll tell him. He’s probably gonna try and comfort me and then it turns out that I don’t even need comfort because we never even had feelings for eachother.”

Something in Yeonjuns chest felt heavy whenever Taehyun said something like this. Right, no feelings. God, of course there were feelings. No strong ones but they were there. And yes, they’d go away, but for now, right at this moment, the feelings were there, blooming in his heart, right now, as he watched Taehyun stuff a tiny piece of cake into his mouth and joyfully chew it.

"How's the cake, Taehyunnie?" Yeonjun asked, his voice softened.

"Really good!" The smile that had appeared on Taehyuns face was truly priceless. "Wanna try?" Yeonjun nodded, about to pick up a little piece himself, but Taehyun was quicker, sticking his own fork into it and guiding it over the table to Yeonjuns mouth. Yeonjun was surprised yet in awe of the younger boy feeding him so sweetly. Taehyun fell back into his chair after leaning over the table and watched Yeonjun try the cake.

It was incredibly sweet, filling him with pure joy. Both the cake and Taehyun. Taehyun grinned brightly before having a bite of his cake himself.

“I get why you always drink the same tea here, it’s delicious! You know…” He looked at Yeonjun with sparkling eyes. “I think I will forever associate strawberries with you. If I taste strawberries, I’ll think of you.” God, could he get any more endearing?

“That’s funny, considering I usually use strawberry flavoured lip balm.”

“Oh?” Now Taehyuns gaze shifted to Yeonjuns lips. Was a good idea to bring that even up? Yeonjun was hoping that the heat that was rising up in his face wouldn’t show. “So  _ you _ taste like strawberries too?”

“Well.” Yeonjun tilted his head, confidence overcoming him for just a second or so. “There’s only one way to find it out, right?” After these words had left his lips, he immediately lost all boldness and was ready to backtrack or come up with a dumb excuse, but Taehyun only laughed, the slightest shade of light pink appearing on his cheeks.

“Either you just asked me to kiss you or you’re willing to borrow me your lip balm. But according to that beautiful red colour your ears are turning into, I doubt you meant the latter.”

“Wha-” Yeonjun quickly covered his ears in embarrassment.

“You’re always getting so flustered when it comes to kissing, Hyung! Even when we’re just joking around!” Taehyun giggled, his voice sounding like honey.

“And you’re way too chill about it!” Yeonjun whined. How could he not get flustered over this? How was he supposed to just stay completely still and not think any further when it came to  _ kissing _ the prettiest boy on the planet which also happened to be his crush? How was he supposed to be calm when only the thought of Taehyuns soft lips pressing against his own was filling his mind? Ahh… the things a single pair of lips did to him… “You always act as if it’s so normal for two bros to just kiss.”

“Well, it is normal for us because when we kiss, we’re not friends but boyfriends. It sure is a weird situation but so are many other things I’ve done on stage before.” Sure, damn it. Why did he have to bring up that whole stage thing again. Yes, it was just a role, but it came so natural to Yeonjun by now that he sometimes forgot how absolutely serious Taehyun took this whole thing. Whatever  _ he _ did in public was strictly the role he was playing. Arg. Fuck.

“Right, right. You’re right. Well, but it makes me flustered nonetheless. I probably don’t have that same actor mindset as you have.”

“And yet you flirt with me?”

“Well, that’s-” Now Yeonjun felt heat in his face again. “That’s just part of my personality, okay?”

“Sure!” Taehyun laughed again. “That’s cute, that’s cute.”

You have the audacity to call me cute?”

“No, but let’s be honest! Acting all tough but then getting shy over acted out, fake kisses, using strawberry chapstick to match your favourite flavour of tea. That’s cute. You’re cute.”

Man, Yeonjun kinda wanted to scream. Wasn’t it Taehyun who was the cutest person out there? And now  _ Taehyun _ of all people called him cute? If he kept making Yeonjun feel so happy and, well- full of butterflies, how was that crush he had developed even supposed to go away?

“You’re cute too, Taehyunnie. You’re very cute.”

“I know.” Taehyun softly giggled, then looked at Yeonjun in a way so soft and gentle, it was melting his heart. Thank god he knew it. Thank god he was aware of his power, of the way he could make people feel.

Taehyun and Yeonjun were sitting next to each other on the bus, on their way to Taehyuns house. They had finished their cake and tea and by now, the sky way almost pitch black as the sun was already setting, at least Yeonjun had guessed that the sun was setting, since the sky had been overcast the whole day, dark and heavy clouds blocking any light.

Yeonjun pulled out his phone, just to check the time, but Taehyun made a surprised noise next to him when the display lit up.

“That’s us,” he pointed out after he got a quick glance at Yeonjuns lockscreen. Indeed. It was the selfie they took when Yeonjun was sleeping over at Taehyuns house last weekend. Taehyun looked so pretty and soft in it, he couldn’t resist to use it as his wallpaper.

“Yeah. It’s uhm-” Of course Yeonjun was  _ not _ going to tell Taehyun the actual reason as to why he used that pic of them. He was not going to explain that Taehyun looked ethereally pretty on that picture and that he liked getting reminded of him every time he turned on his phone. “I thought, it might be smart to have you as my wallpaper because sometimes my friends look at my phone and then they’ll see the wallpaper, you know?”

“Oh, yes, I get that. Very smart of you indeed.” Now Taehyun pulled out his own phone. “My lockscreen is kind of boring but I have Kai and me as homescreen. I like that picture too much to change it anytime soon, even though it’s already a year old.” Taehyun unlocked his phone and showed his wallpaper to Yeonjun. It was hard to believe that it was only a year old, considering that Kai looked almost 3 years younger in it. Puberty really hit that boy with full force…

“Are you wearing makeup in this?”

“Yes, it was for halloween.” Taehyun smiled as he looked at the picture that showed him with lips redder than usual, and almost neon blue stains on his face and Kai wearing a blue blazer, doing a peace sign. “We dressed up as Heather Chandler and Veronica from the Heathers. My sister helped me put on some makeup.”

“You dressed up as who from what?”

“Oh, it’s a movie and a musical. No time to explain but we wanna recreate it this year on halloween.”

“I thought you don’t like partying?”

“I don’t,” Taehyun answered, putting his phone away again. “Hyuka doesn’t either, but we always dress up for halloween and sometimes we go out to eat together or something. Like platonic dates kind of? We also always did stuff together on Valentines Day.”

Well next Valentines Day he would once again go on a friendship date with his best friend, right? Or maybe by then Taehyun had found a real boyfriend. Or maybe he’d go on a date with Yeonjun. A platonic date of course. Or maybe-

Yeonjun huffed, as silently as possible. Come on, by the time  _ Valentines Day _ was around, he wouldn’t have a crush on him anymore, maybe they wouldn’t even be friends anymore.

“Yeonjun? We’ll have to get out soon,” Taehyun reminded him, once again pulling him out of his thoughts he got lost in.

“Oh. Right. There’s a bus stop near your house, right?”

“Yes, it’s maybe a minute long walk.” Taehyun grabbed his transparent umbrella that had leaned next to his seat, getting ready to get up as soon as the bus would stop. “I don’t even know if my parents are home already. But I guess then no one's gonna be there to stop us.” Taehyun smiled and stood up. Yeonjun followed him out of the bus and the two pretty much crammed under the rather small umbrella, bodies close to each other so that both could even fit under it.

The rain had become heavier, the wind was stronger, and Yeonjun could only hope that Taehyun wasn’t getting cold, despite the big jacket he was wearing. The wind blew some rain in their faces and Taehyun scrunched his nose while trying to hold onto their umbrella.

“Your nose is getting red, are you cold? How much longer until we’re at your house?”

“Hey, Jun, it’s literally over here!” Taehyun laughed just slightly, dragging Yeonjun around a corner and in front of their house. Yeonjun hadn’t even noticed that they already arrived, he didn’t recognize the house in this dark and almost scary atmosphere. “I’m not too cold. Can you hold the umbrella for a second, I’ll open the door.” Yeonjun did as he was told to, watching Taehyun pull out a key of his pockets, opening the door.

The lights were on and almost blinded Yeonjun, but he was glad to be welcomed by such an inviting brightness. Yeonjun closed the umbrella and quickly stepped in, closing the door behind him. It was really warm inside, and quite cozy.

“Dad?” A girls voice came from the living room, probably belonging to Taehyuns sister.

“It’s Taehyunnie,” he answered, and Yeonjun found it really endearing how Taehyun referred to himself as ‘Taehyunnie’ when talking to Sohee.

“Oh! Weren’t you out with Yeonjun?”

“We’re back already, as you can tell.” Now the girl came out of the living room, her eyes began sparkling behind her big round glasses which she hadn’t worn last time Yeonjun saw her. She honestly looked a lot more tired, her long hair tied up in a bun, and almost disappearing in a huge shirt that seemed to belong to Taehyun.

“Oh! You brought him with you! Hello, Yeonjun!”

“Hi there!” Yeonjun smiled at the girl who bowed her head the tiniest bit to greet him.

“Is mom home?” Taehyun took off his jacket and shoes and gave Yeonjun a sign to do the same.

“Nope, not yet. Why? What are you planning to do?”

“We’re, uhm- Well-” Taehyun hesitated while Sohees face lit up as she waited for her brothers response. “We want to dye my hair.” That didn’t seem to be the answer she had expected, but an excited grin formed on her face nonetheless. 

“Taehyunnie!! What colour? Can I watch?”

“Red.” Taehyun just sighed. “And no, you can’t.”

“Why  _ not _ ?”

“Sohee, don’t you think I maybe wanna be alone with my boyfriend.”

“Sure, sure. Can you help me with my english homework later at least?”

“I can do that.” Taehyun was about to go upstairs, being followed by Yeonjun when he stopped in front of his little sister to eye her. “Isn’t that my shirt?”

“Yeah, but all of my shirts are being washed right now so I had no choice!” Taehyun furrowed his brows, then shrugged.

“Alright, whatever. Looks better on you than it looks on me anyways. The colour fits you.”

“Yeah, right?” Sohee giggled as the two now walked past her to get to Taehyuns room. “I’ll claim all your blue clothes from now on.”

“I don’t have a lot of blue shirts anyways.” Taehyun grinned, even though Sohee wasn’t able to see his face anymore. Yeonjun chuckled as he was following his boyfriend upstairs.

There, Taehyun opened the door to his room, and stepped back so that Yeonjun could enter first. When he did, there was one thing that immediately caught his eye. Something that changed about his room since the last time he was here. Just above the container for Dan, on the wall, there was a huge, a bit crinkled rainbow flag.

“Oh! Since when is this here?”

“My sister got it for me. It arrived just yesterday.” Taehyun threw himself on his bed and grinned. “My mom was not amused when she saw it but she didn’t say anything later on.” He patted next to him on the bed. “Come sit down, let me see the colour you brought.” Yeonjun sat down next to him, emptying the plastic bag with hair dye on the bed.

“How is it going with your mom? Did she say anything?”

“Well-” Taehyun sighed with a tired smile on his lips, reaching for the bottle of red hair dye. “She doesn’t really  _ say _ anything but her looks are enough to let me know how… not okay she is with everything. She’s tolerating it, but probably only because I’m her son. She’d probably still close her eyes or get upset if she saw a gay couple in public.”

“Does it… hurt you?”

“A bit. But I’ll have to understand her way of thinking. She’s grown up like this. With the thought that a relationship only works if it’s a man and a woman. The thought of anything LGBT confuses her, and it  _ is  _ hard to get out of that mindset, even though she’s trying. That’s why Kais parents never come over, trans people make absolutely no sense to her and I don’t think Kai, nor his moms would have the nerve to try and explain that to her. Anyways-” He tried to change the topic, now playing around with the bottle. “What do you need for this? I assume some gloves, a towel…?”

“Yeah, that’s really all we need. I’m not gonna use conditioner to thin it out so we can apply it straight from the bottle.”

“Okay, alright.” Taehyun got up, grinning. “I’ll get that and then we can start.”

A towel was now wrapped around Taehyuns shoulders and he watched Yeonjun put on his gloves.

“Ready to become a redhead?”

“More than ready!” He now sat down on his desk chair, spinning around once, with a huge smile on his face. Yeonjun could tell that he was super excited.

“You sure? Once this stuff is in your hair, there’s no going back!”

“Come on, just do it, before I change my mind~”

“Really sure? Think about it again.” Yeonjun already had some dye on his hands, yet hesitated to finally put it into Taehyuns hair.

“Arg, stop teasing me, Juni!” Taehyun whined, his voice just slightly higher pitched than usually.

“Aah, you’re too cute!” Yeonjun laughed as he watched Taehyun scrunch his nose. “Fine, fine, turn around then, I’ll start.”

Taehyun did as he was told, spun around in the chair once again. Yeonjun then started to apply the dye to the first few strands of hair. He twirled them around, played with them between his fingers, then moved on to the next strands, making sure the dye was put on his hair evenly. Taehyun leaned into his touch, letting Yeonjun work, seeming relaxed.

What a dream come true, huh? To play with Taehyuns hair like this while he enjoyed it, just letting it all happen. Taehyun was almost like a puppy, slightly tilting his head while Yeonjun applied the red dye.

“How long until I can wash it out?”

“We’ll leave it in for maybe 15 minutes. I think the colour will be really strong on your hair, considering that that’s virgin hair too.”

“‘Virgin hair’ sounds absolutely awful.”

“Hey, that’s how it’s called! I can’t change that!” Yeonjun chuckled. “It’ll look nice, Taehyunnie. You will look like a red rose. Or a cherry.”

“Or a strawberry?” Yeonjun paused his hand movements. 

“I thought I was the strawberry? Didn’t you say strawberries always remind you of me from now on?”

“Yeah, but-” Taehyun nodded only slightly. “Then the colour of my hair can match the taste of your lips.” Woah. That was really gay of him to say. Gay enough to make Yeonjuns heart skip a beat.

“‘Taehyun stop flirting with me’ challenge has failed.” Yeonjun groaned as he continued to apply more hair dye.

“Why flirting, didn’t you say that you use strawberry lip balm yourself?”

“You don’t have any proof yet, though.”

“Now it’s you that’s flirting, huh?” Taehyun tilted his head so that he could look at Yeonjun with his big sparkly eyes and a grin on his face. “Do you always do that with your friends?”

“N-Not always.” Yeonjun hesitated once again, tried to sigh as silently as possible. “I just think I’m getting used to do it with you.”

“Too deep into the role?”

“Right. A bit too deep into the role.” If Taehyun only knew that this ‘role’ had started to fade away slowly. Yeonjun once again felt the slightest sting in his chest.

Yeonjun applied the rest of the colour without saying much, and even Taehyun was so silent that he worried he might have fallen asleep. But he was awake, and when Yeonjun pulled off his gloves, which by now looked like he had murdered someone in them, Taehyun spun around once more, eyes gleaming.

“Thank you, Hyung!” He threw a quick look into the mirror that was hanging next to his closet and let out an excited gasp. “Look at me! I’m red!”

“Let’s give it maybe 10 more minutes and you can wash it out, okay?”

“Yes! Thank you, Jun! Uhm- Yeonjun.”

“Oh, no no, say Jun. It’s okay.”

“Is it?”

‘Sure, it makes my heart flutter a bit whenever you say it.’ A thought Yeonjun didn’t dare to say out loud. Instead, he just nodded.

“I think Kai will love this.” Taehyun smiled at his own reflection in the mirror. “Ah- We wanted to go out this weekend but he has to study and now I’m basically bored and alone all weekend.”

“You can still come to Mins house if you want.”

“Oh, that party?” He sighed. “No thanks. I’ll be alone then.”

“You prefer loneliness over being with me?” Yeonjun crossed his arms and pouted which caused Taehyun to quickly shake his head.

“I prefer being with you over a lot of things, but I really don’t want to be in the middle of s loud, drunk, high and possibly horny crowd of jocks while probably losing you in the masses. I’m also gonna stay up late like always so maybe I can study a bit or catch up on some shows.” He now started spinning around in his chair, clearly getting a bit impatient.

“You could also stay up and watch me drunk text you at 3am.”

“What kind of things do you send when you’re drunk?”

“Sometimes I contemplate the meaning of life. Sometimes I talk about my favourite Spongebob episode. Sometimes I send out love confessions.”

“All of that sounds good, but I’d prefer if you didn’t get drunk at all?” Yeonjun only huffed at that in shock.

“What else do you want me to do, be home by midnight?”

“What I want is that you take care of yourself.”   
“Well, yeah, I’m gonna disinfect all my wounds with a bunch of alcohol!”

“You’re an idiot, Jun.” That’s what Taehyun said out loud. But his fond smile and soft eyes were rather saying ‘You’re my idiot’. “Now when can I wash this out?” He now continued to spin in circles and Yeonjun was quite impressed that he wasn’t feeling dizzy yet.

“You’re so impatient, geez!” Yeonjun quickly looked at his phone to check the time. “You’ve got the wait a bit longer.”

And Taehyun spent that time spinning. And humming. A melody Yeonjun didn’t know, but it was certainly a nice melody. He remembered how Taehyun had once told him that he loves singing but never does it in front of other people. Maybe that humming was already a step in the right direction. It already sounded sweet, angelic. Yeonjun was just watching him while sitting on the bed, occasionally checking the time.

“I think you can wash it out now.” Taehyun abruptly stopped spinning on the chair and didn’t even look dizzy in the slightest, and when he jumped up, he could easily keep his balance. “Do you need help with it?”

“Nope, I’ll be fine! Be right back!” With that, he left Yeonjun behind, running into the bathroom.

He only really had to wait for maybe 5 minutes until the door to Taehyuns room opened again, just a little bit, without Taehyun entering the room yet.

“You wanna see?”

“Obviously!”

“Then close your eyes!” Yeonjun huffed, but closed his eyes anyways, waiting for Taehyun to signal him to open them again. “Alright. You can look.” Yeonjun did. And in front of him was the most precious boy he had ever seen.

Taehyun, red hair, still a bit wet, a smile on his face that looked so happy and excited, these little, so endearing wrinkles forming at the outer corners of his eyes, was standing in front of him, looking up to Yeonjun with tiny sparkles in his eyes. God, how pretty he was. And now that he looked so happy, he was even prettier.

“Does it suit me?”, the now red haired boy asked.

“It does. It really does.” Yeonjun nearly sounded out of breath, he only realized that now. “You’re beautiful.” God, he was whipped for that stupidly breathtaking boy.

“All thanks to you, Hyung.” That was pretty much a lie. He had been beautiful before already.

“No problem,” Yeonjun just decided to answer though, lifting his hand up to Taehyuns hair, who immediately leaned into his touch. Yeonjun brushed through the slightly wet hair, smiling. “It feels good too. It’s still gonna be beautifully soft. You should maybe go get some colour protection shampoo, but otherwise it’s looking really great.”

“And I-” Taehyun held his hands up, grinning. They were stained with red dye. “I look like I just committed a crime.”

“A crime, yeah, you’re stealing hearts!”

“Oh my god, Yeonjun!” Taehyun groaned, shook his head. “Come on, you can pull better jokes that this!” He stepped back to look at himself in the mirror. “I’m really happy with this. Ah, that’s gonna be a big surprise for Kai tomorrow! And for my mom... “ He turned his head back to Yeonjun and kept smiling. “Ah, she’s gonna get through it. I feel great. I’m not gonna let anyone ruin my mood now. Thank you.”

“For what exactly?”

“Well-” Taehyun seemed to think about it, then just shook his head and almost attacked Yeonjun with a hug. “I don’t know. Just thank you.” Yeonjun once again let his hand slide up to Taehyuns head, caressing him ever so softly.

“No problem, my strawberry boy.”  _ His _ . Oh, to be able to really call that beautiful boy in his arms  _ his _ one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally all caught up with posting all the chapters I have written so far... Which also means that I won't post every day, but rather every 1-2 weeks, but I hope that's alright!
> 
> Thank you all for reading this far and keeping up with the story, I hope you'll be able to wait a little bit for updates!  
> For spoilers and other stupid updates on my writing, my life, and TXT, go check out my Twitter @/EternallyHyun <3


	11. Chapter 11

Sitting in a pitch black room watching bad musical recordings on the phone at 1 am was probably not the best way to spend the weekend, but Taehyun really had no choice. Boredom was taking over him after there was nothing more to study for and he refused to go to sleep before 3am on a saturday night.

That kept him awake, but also something different. Someone different. ‘Don’t do anything stupid, alright?’ was the last message he had send to Yeonjun, who at that time was on his way to pick up Soobin to get to Mins house. Yeonjun only responded with an ‘i’ll try’, and hadn’t texted since then. It wasn’t like he owed him any updates on the situation, especially because the two weren’t even dating for real, but he felt a strong sense of protectiveness and… No, not jealousy, what was he supposed to be jealous of? But he didn’t feel good about everything regardless. It wasn’t like Yeonjun took any drugs, but he was drinking and Taehyun was worried that maybe it would be a bit too much.

Taehyun could also just text him and ask if everything was alright, but- wouldn’t that be too much? Too, well… clingy maybe, or annoying, maybe he’d seem stuck up, or like a worried mom that always runs behind her children to double check on them.

But Taehyun  _ was _ worried, right? And as Yeonjuns fake boyfriend and  _ real _ friend, he had every right to be worried and ask if everything was ok.

So he sighed, paused the musical he had watched a thousand times already, and opened Yeonjuns chat.

**_Jun_ **

_ you doing alright? _

Taehyun didn't expect Yeonjun to see the message and reply immediately, and yet, he waited, staring at the screen for maybe 5 minutes. No signs of Yeonjun seeing his message, or even having his phone around. Taehyun decided to go on his instagram, checking the stories he had posted. He felt weird doing that, like a stalker in a way, but he was just worried, right? It didn't feel right nonetheless. His last instagram story was maybe from an hour ago, it was just a selfie of him, Soobin and Beomgyu.

Taehyun sighed, switching back to the chat, when he saw it.  _ Read _ . Thank god, at least he saw it. It then switched from  _ read  _ to  _ typing  _ and back a bunch of times for maybe 30 seconds, until a message finally arrived. Just that this message wasn’t really insightful.

_ fucj yed im foing amgauyjm _

_ you’re what _

_ AMAZSINF _

_ please take care of yourself, Jun _

_ be safe, okay? _

_ im SUPRD saFE _

_ ik doinf realklx gooifgfd _

Yeonjun stopped typing once again. Then a new message arrived, one different from the ones sent before.

_ kang taehyun right _

_ hi _

_ who am I talking to now? _

_ ah _

_ choi beomgyu _

_ is Yeonjun Hyung okay? _

_ lmao _

_ well hes doing great techically _

_ hes having the time of his life ngl _

_ he’s drunk, right _

_ ive never seen him this wasted _

_ would be fun if i didnt have another huge drunk baby by my side _

_ these bitches are like toddlers istg _

_ another baby? _

_ Soobin? _

_ yea _

_ listen can you like come here and pick up yeonjun _

_ i know that you shouldnt live too far away from min _

_ ive got my hands full with bin and if im being serious i get that youre worried _

_ i sound stupid but yeonjuns done some dumb shit while drunk n that boy can barely stand up straight by now so _

_ i wouldnt want him to be here much longer _

_ and since youre his boyfriend _

_ “boyfriend” _

_ wait _

_ you’ve found out about everything, right? _

_ about it being fake? _

_ yea _

_ kinda dumb of yall ngl _

_ but ive complained to yeonjun enough im not gonna annoy you too _

_ should i send you the location _

_ yes, go ahead _

_ [location attached] _

_ okay, that’s like 10 minutes away from me _

_ I’ll be on my way then _

_ thank you for letting me know _

_ ill wait in the front yard  _

_ thanks again _

_ hes getting annoying _

_ I’m there soon _

Taehyun put his phone down. Yeonjun had been drinking more than usually? He sighed, getting up from his bed and turning on the light, quickly getting out of his pajamas and throwing on some normal clothes. He hesitated before leaving the room. Sohee was sleeping already, his mother wasn’t even home. What about his father though? He probably wouldn’t mind Taehyun quickly picking up Yeonjun, and he too was probably sleeping already. That man had a  _ very _ deep sleep, there was no way he was going to wake him up.

So Taehyun got out of his room, sneaking down the stairs, then freezing. There was still light in the living room. So his father wasn’t asleep yet? He approached the room, spying in. There he was, his dad, sitting on the sofa while reading a book.

“Dad?” Taehyun had his voice lowered. The man looked up, quite surprised.

“Taehyun? Are you ok?”

“Yes, it’s just- I’m gonna pick up Yeonjun from a party. I’ll be back in like half an hour or something?” His dad furrowed his brows, then shrugged.

“Okay, take care then? You got your phone with you?”

“I do.”   
“Good. I’ll head to bed soon so be quiet when you come in.”   
“Alright.” And Taehyun continued to sneak down the hallway to the front door. Okay. That was easier than expected. Taehyun was glad that his father was so relaxed with most things he did. He’d always listen to his wife, but if she was gone, which happened quite a lot due to her job, he’d let the family take a breath from the rather strict love Mrs Kang gave.

Taehyun hated going out alone in the dark, but his neighbourhood was completely lit with street lights, leaving almost no dark spots on the pathways. A bunch of rich and wealthy and successful people lived here, and tons of families, it felt pretty safe walking here. Nonetheless, Taehyun took big steps, walking fast, tightly holding onto his phone.

Min was indeed just living a few blocks away from him, how convenient. That also meant that they were the child of a good family, and yet it was slightly questionable as to why they were allowed to have seemingly wild house parties in a snobby neighbourhood like this. And that party was  _ loud _ .

Taehyun was still quite a bit away from his destination but he was already hearing bass in the distance. He quickly checked his phone to see if Yeonjun- or rather Beomgyu had texted something, and there actually way a new message, this time not from Yeonjuns number though

**_Unknown Number_ **

_ hi this is beomgyu _

_ yeonjun got a hold of his phone again and somehow lost it so im looking with him rn _

_ so if youre coming we probably wont be in the front yard anymore but i get if you dont wanna come in so just stay outside _

_ and dont let people talk to you i think there are some guys outside rrn so idk maybe avoid them lol _

That was super reassuring, wow. Taehyun sighed. Come on, nobody would talk to him anyways. It wasn’t like anybody knew him or something- No. Hold up, basically  _ everyone _ knew him. Maybe they didn’t know his name or anything like that but everyone knew that he was Choi Yeonjuns boyfriend. Was that a reason to talk to him though?

Taehyun barely had to check if he was on the right way, because he could very well recognize Mins house due to the lights and noises coming from it. He slowed down his steps when he saw a bunch of people sitting in the front yard of the house, keeping safe distance. Maybe if he’d stay away, he could wait for Beomgyu and Yeonjun to come out?

  
  


**_Beomgyu Hyung_ **

_ I’m here now _

_ have you found Yeonjuns phone? _

_ not yet _

_ ill let you know tho _

Okay. Taehyun crossed his arms, getting just a bit closer to the house. Just stay outside and wait for a bit, and try not to be seen-

“Yo!” Great. Too late. “Ain’t you Chois… urg, his bitch or something?” Someone already called him, but Taehyun quickly lowered his head, pretending to not even notice them. His  _ bitch _ ? Wow.

“Fuck off man, leave him alone.” Taehyun didn’t dare to look up to see who had been calling out the dude, but he was pretty thankful for that person.

“Don’t say  _ bitch _ , man, that’s a dude. You can’t call a dude a bitch,” another person now said.

“Nah, bitch is gender neutral.” So these were the conversations you had at half past one, drunk, outside the house of a party. If Taehyun wasn’t so scared for whatever reason, he probably would have chuckled.

“Taehyun, right?” One of the guys called again. “Aw come on, what are you doing here?” Taehyun now finally lifted his head. The guy that was talking to him now was familiar. How could Taehyun even forget someone as unique looking as him?

He was approaching, and Taehyun sighed, then came towards him too. If he was really gonna have to talk to him, he’d prefer to do it near the house where more people could see him and, well- help him out if he needed any.

The guy wasn’t really walking straight, he was carrying a bottle of what seemed to be something stronger than just beer. He was clearly drunk, what made him even scarier than he already was. His eyes met Taehyuns now. His two coloured eyes, one of them being dark, the other one almost icy blue.

“Come on, Taehyun~ What’s a sweetheart like you doin’ here, eh?” He pushed his long, bleached hair out of his face.

“Hyunseok, right…?” Taehyun sighed, now trying to avoid eye contact with him. Which, admittedly wasn’t easy when someone had eyes as mysterious and beautiful as his. It was already hard  _ not _ to look at him the last time they met, what felt to be ages ago. “I’m here for Yeonjun.” Hyunseok began frowning.

“You still with that asshole? Man. What the fuck, ain’t you sick of him yet?”

“Obviously I’m not sick of him.” Taehyun tried to look past the tall guy in front of him, glancing over to the door of Mins house. Come on. Can’t Beomgyu hurry up already and find Yeonjuns stupid phone?

“Man, Taehyun… You shouldn’t really, like… be here right now because parties like this are fucking  _ nasty _ , man.”

“Well, I’m going to leave soon. I’m just waiting for my boyfriend-”   
“Ah, bro, you’re not gonna be together for a long time, dude! Ya gonna break up in like-”

“Can y’all like keep your hands off of my  _ fucking  _ boyfriend for once?” Finally. Once again, Yeonjun appeared in the best possible moment to get him out of a weird situation.

“Geez!” Hyunseok groaned, taking a step back. “I’m just tryna help him.”

“You’re helping no one, get your ass over to your gang again and leave him be. Fucking hell.” Taehyun quickly walked over to Yeonjun to greet, or rather support him. He, too, clearly struggled to walk in an at least somewhat straight line, even more than Hyunseok did. “Am I  _ ever _ gonna get your family out of my life, or-” Yeonjun quickly held onto Taehyuns shoulder, almost pushing him down.

“Fine, sorry, man. Just trying to help,” Hyunseok repeated, retreating back to his friend group. Yeonjun already stopped listening though, now practically hanging onto Taehyun.

“Are you okay, Jun?” Taehyun tried his best supporting his friend, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“‘M okay, babe~” Babe? Yeonjun was deep into this role, even drunk. Taehyun quickly looked around, also spotting Beomgyu now. Soobin was almost sticking to him, holding onto his arm.

“My god, he’s like a child when drunk. Loses his phone and then almost runs away? You can keep him, Taehyun.” Beomgyu looked quite annoyed, and yet tilted his head slightly when Soobin tried to hide his head in the crook of Beomgyus neck. “Both these bitches get too clingy for my taste…” It certainly didn’t look like that right now, judging by his soft reactions to Soobins cuddle attempts.

“Are you sure I’m picking up Yeonjun because you’re worried he might do something stupid or is it because he’s third wheeling you guys?” Taehyun furrowed his brows as he watched Soobin lean against Beomgyu.

“Arg, stop clowning and bring that poor boy home. Soobin is always like this with both of us, he just stops hiding his love in public when he’s drunk. And honestly, I don’t even know what to say about Yeonjun anymore, he’s just wasted, he completely lost it.” Beomgyu tried to keep his balance while Soobin has leaning on him like a huge puppy that hadn’t yet realized that it wasn’t as tiny as it used to be anymore. “Now go and let him get some rest. Also he gets really bad headaches and shit the day after, so I hope you have some stuff at home that can soothe that. Or else he will whine all day and you do  _ not _ want him to complain for hours.”

“Right, right. I got it.” Taehyun sighed. “Are you his best friend or his dad?”

“Sometimes both- Get home safely, and maybe text me when you’re home?”

“I sure will. See you sometime soon?”

“Yup. And thanks again for picking him up!”

“No problem!” ‘Thanks for making my night less boring,’ Taehyun thought as he tried to turn around while still holding Yeonjun.

“Where we goin’, Taehyunnie?” Yeonjun stumbled along with his fake boyfriend, his voice just the slightest bit higher pitched, a bit more whiny sounding.

“Home. You’ve had enough for tonight. We’ll go home, okay?” Taehyun tried to adjust Yeonjuns arm a bit so it would be easier for them to walk home. “Can you put your arm around my shoulder, Juni? I can hold onto you more easily.” Yeonjun did as he was asked to, and Taehyun could then place his hand on Yeonjuns waist.

Even though Yeonjun barely was in control over his body (and probably his mind), Taehyun felt a bit safer walking down the pathways back to his own neighbourhood, this time walking a lot slower due to Yeonjun not quite being able to keep himself balanced.

“Taehyunnie? Did you know-” Yeonjuns voice got more tired. “Did you know that I really like you?” Taehyun chuckled.

“You sure do.”

“No, like  _ really _ . You’re a really good… boyfriend, Hyunnie.”

“Right, totally. There’s no one around, Yeonjun. Nobody can hear this. You can stop pretending, you know?” Taehyun watched a confused expression form on Yeonjuns face.

“What am I pretending?”

“Never mind. You’re too deep into it anyways.” Yeonjun was definitely stable enough by the way Taehyun was holding onto him, and yet he felt the need to pull him just a bit closer. He smiled at the way Yeonjun was still ready to act whipped even when he was completely hammered. Maybe he didn’t yet register that there was literally no one around. “How much did you drink?”

“Mmh… maybe like… seven or eight…?”

“What? Beer, or like, shots or whatever?”

“Maybe nine.”

“Yeonjun, that isn’t really helping. Beomgyu said that you’ve never been this drunk.” Taehyun sighed, starting to become exhausted from carrying Yeonjun like this. “I even told you multiple times to take care.”

“Ah, Hyunnie…” Yeonjun stumbled a bit, and Taehyun had to tighten his grip around his waist. “‘M so sorry… please don’t be mad, okay? Don’t be mad at me~” He pouted. Acting like a toddler indeed.

“I’m not mad, Jun.”

“Good.” His other hand now slid to where Taehyun was holding him, letting it rest on Taehyuns hand. “Never be mad at me, ‘kay? Yes? I love you.”

“I’m not mad,” Taehyun repeated, this time softening his voice even more. “I was worried though. You understand that, right, Juni?” Yeonjun hummed in response, then giggled quietly.

“Say Juni more often.”

“You like that name?”

“From you. Yeah. Say it lots, ‘kay?” He grabbed Taehyuns hand a little tighter while also putting more weight on Taehyuns shoulder, causing him to stumble a bit.

“Okay, but I need you to stop leaning on me so much, I can’t really hold you like this.” Taehyun grunted softly as he tried to adjust Yeonjun somehow. “Come on, my house is not far. You can lay down soon, alright?”

“Yeah…” Yeonjun now seemed to have trouble even keeping his eyes open. He pouted, leaning a bit closer to Taehyun. “I’ll stay at your house?”

“Yes.”

“Your bed?”

“Huh?”

“Can I stay in your bed?”

“That’s what I planned. You can’t really sleep in the living room because you’d scare the crap out of my sister in the morning-”

“With you?” Now was that Taehyun hesitated, his steps slowing down as he glanced at Yeonjun, who looked him dead serious in the eye.

“What do you mean, ‘with me’?”

“Can I sleep in your bed with you?”

“Well-” Why was Taehyun hesitating when his answer was clear? Of course. They’d be sleeping in his bed together. And they’d be close. And they’d most definitely cuddle. Which was a thing Taehyun enjoyed a lot, so how could he even decline? “Yes,” he then finally answered. A tired smile formed on Yeonjuns face.

“Good. I wanna cuddle with you. I just wanna-” Yeonjun giggled once again. “I really wanna hold you all day.”

“And I’d let you.”

“I like you a lot, Taehyunnie.” His voice got quieter. “I really like you.” Yeonjun seemed to have gotten really tired now too, not only drunk, judging by the rather questionable things he was saying, and yet Taehyun was impressed by how well he was holding up his role.

“You’re really too drunk, Juni.” Once again, Yeonjun only hummed. Weird, how quiet he was now, how soft, compared to just some minutes ago with his friends. That was a habit he also had when sober.

Getting Yeonjun all the way home was quite exhausting, having to carry his weight the whole time because he could barely walk without any support. And yet the two had done it, they were back at Taehyuns house and he tried to pull out his keys to then open the door as silently as possible.

“Be very quiet now, okay? Or you’ll wake my family up.” Obviously Yeonjun wasn’t going to make any noise, he looked like he was about to fall asleep, but Taehyun still felt the need to say it. He turned on the lights in the hallway to better find his way to the stairs, then  _ really _ gave his best to somehow get upstairs with Yeonjun. It took some time and a lot of effort to get up, and when he did it, Taehyun sighed. He pushed open the door to his room and the two entered.

Finally. Only now, Taehyun let go of Yeonjuns waist, or at least he tried to, because Yeonjun immediately held his hand in place.

“Don’t let go-,” he whispered, almost whined.

“Come on, just for a second… Go sit down and let me get you something to drink.” Yeonjun hesitated, but then let go of Taehyuns hand and in the end even of his shoulder he had his arm around this whole time, stumbling over to Taehyuns bed and practically falling onto it.

Taehyun grabbed a bottle of water he had on his desk and gave it over to Yeonjun, watching him drink a few sips, then he pulled out his phone.

**_Beomgyu Hyung_ **

_ we’re home now _

_ he’s super tired but seems to be okay _

He didn’t even wait for a response, just put his phone away again, sitting down next to Yeonjun. He put an arm around him and started gently caressing his back.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyun asked, his voice heavy and worried. Yeonjun didn’t answer at first, then a tiny smile appeared on his lips and he leaned against Taehyuns shoulder.

“Just really tired.”

“Do you want to go to sleep?”

“I wanna-” Yeonjun froze when he looked at Taehyun, his eyes nearly fixated on his lips. Then, the tips of his ears started turning even redder than they already were before. What was he thinking about? Well- Taehyun could guess it by the way Yeonjuns eyes widened while staring at his lips so intensely. But why would he-

Right. He was just drunk and very tired. He had said many quite exaggerated things tonight. His brain clearly didn’t work the way it usually did. And yet-

“What are you thinking of, Yeonjun?” Taehyun tilted his head slightly. He knew what he was thinking of. Why ask? Maybe he just wanted to hear it for himself. Maybe he wanted to make sure that he was right and not having any completely delusional thoughts. Yeonjun didn’t seem to even register that question properly for a few seconds, then he blinked once, his eyes finally breaking away from Taehyuns lips.

“Kissing you.”

Maybe Taehyun was just tired. Maybe his own brain wasn’t properly working right now because it was deprived of sleep. But it felt like it was the right thing to do now. It felt only logical for Taehyun to smile at Yeonjuns answer, to nod, and to move up his hand to Yeonjuns face and softly place a thumb on his almost burning cheek. He pulled him closer, ever so slowly, so that maybe, if Yeonjuns drunk brain realized that kissing your close friend  _ isn’t  _ really the right thing to do, he could still pull away if he wanted.

But Yeonjun didn’t. Yeonjun didn’t pull away but leaned in too, tilting his head to the side. Taehyun felt his heart beat faster. As always when they were about to kiss, yet this time it was different, it felt even more thrilling. It felt more real. Was it, though?

Taehyun already felt Yeonjuns hot breath on his skin, his hand holding onto his face, ready to pull it closer and close the distance between them, ready to let their lips connect. He was ready to pull him into the kiss that was just an experiment, or maybe real, or maybe just an act that ended up being a bit too realistic. He was ready to kiss him, and so was Yeonjun, who grabbed Taehyuns waist to more or less gently pull him and his whole body closer to him.

And yet, destiny wasn’t on their side. A soft knock on the door made Taehyun flinch and abruptly pull his face away from Yeonjuns just before they could kiss. Someone opened the door, and Sohee was spying in.

“Hey, did you-” She gasped. “O-oh my god, I didn’t know Yeonjun was here! Oh god, holy shit, I’m gonna forget everything again, okay? I’m so sorry, go on with whatever you were doing!!” Her voice was high pitched, almost panicking, and she quickly closed the door again.

God, how stupid was Taehyun- he left the lights on in the hallways. Maybe Sohee was getting something to drink or whatever and wanted to check if Taehyun was still awake and if it was him who left them on. He just looked at the spot Sohees head had been peeking through the door a second ago. Then his head turned back to Yeonjun, his hands were still on his waist, but his eyes looked tired again- and not so… hungry for Taehyuns lips. Yeonjun blinked a few times, then let go of Taehyun, looking confused for some reason.

Maybe it was just now that he realised that he was about to kiss one of his best friends despite no one being around. Maybe now he was finally snapping out of his role.

“I-” Taehyun felt the need to explain himself now, to justify his move, yet he couldn’t even explain it to himself. “I didn’t-”

“Let’s sleep,” Yeonjun interrupted him though, a tired smile on his face. “Let’s sleep, ‘m so tired.” Taehyun sighed again. So no explanation. Good, because Taehyun didn’t have one. He nodded, stood up to turn off the big light in his room, only leaving on the small lamp next to his bed.

“Take off your shoes and we can sleep, okay?” Yeonjun nodded slowly, gave his best to take off his sneakers, then his jacket. He let himself fall back. “Come on, lay down properly. I’ll come to you in a few minutes, okay?” Taehyun was about to grab his pajamas to head to the bathroom, but Yeonjun sat back up again, looking at him with his sparkly eyes and a pout. That was probably the cutest Taehyun had ever seen him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll just change. I’m back soon, okay?”

“‘Kay…”

Taehyun came back to the sight of Yeonjun laying in his bed, but he didn’t seem to be able to pull the blanket over him though. He had his eyes closed shut, maybe he was asleep already? Taehyun sat down next to him and pulled the blanket over his body. Should Taehyun get another blanket for himself? No. It was fine. He could share one with Yeonjun.

He laid down next to Yeonjun, coming a it closer to him so that he could get a bit of the blanket for himself, and faced him. He scanned his face, eyed every single detail of the boy that was just a few inches away from him. He knew Yeonjun was attractive but looking at him now was different. Looking at him, eyes closed, lips in a slight pout, with dim lighting. Taehyun had to admit it. Yeonjun was probably one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen.

And then Yeonjuns eyes opened. So he wasn’t sleeping yet.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyun whispered.

“Tired.”

“Do you have a headache or anything?”

“No.”

“Good. Can I do anything for you?” Yeonjun frowned at that question, but shook his head ever so slightly. There was something on his mind, that was clear. But Taehyun wouldn’t bother to ask more. Instead he just looked at him. At his beautiful face. At his tired eyes and pretty and plump lips. Why was he so fascinated with his face now? Was it because he was so tired? Probably. Taehyuns brain must have been playing with him.

“You said, we can cuddle.” Yeonjuns voice sounded so different from usual. So tired and soft and almost shy.

“That’s what I said.” Taehyun smiled, turned off the small light next to the bed, then moving a bit closer to Yeonjun. He rolled on his back to let Taehyun rest his head on his chest and wrap his arms around his torso. Yeonjun held him tight, and their bodies could not have been any closer.

Taehyun could hear Yeonjuns heartbeat, he could feel Yeonjuns chest move up and down with every breath he took. And he felt calm. Yeonjuns closeness made him feel at peace. He was home.

“Taehyunnie…”

“Yes?”

“Wish you would have kissed me.”

Taehyuns heart stopped beating for just a second. Yeonjun wasn’t serious. He was drunk, he was almost asleep, and in no way was he serious about it. And yet- Taehyun couldn’t answer. He didn’t know  _ what _ to answer, if there even was an answer appropriate for this situation. Nothing came to mind. But Yeonjun didn’t seem to wait for a response, he just continued hold Taehyun. And soon, he seemed to have fallen asleep.

But Taehyun couldn’t. Because he couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened just some time ago. What on earth made him think that kissing Yeonjun was a right thing to do? There was only ever  _ one _ reason to kiss Yeonjun; it was to make people think that they were a couple. It had always been an act. But now, there was no one around to act in front of. They were alone. Just the two of them. Why the fuck would he try to kiss him then?

It was this stupid role, right? It was starting to take over him, it made him act like Yeonjuns boyfriend even when he wasn’t, even when he was just his friend, when they were alone. Maybe it was his response to drunk Yeonjun being kind of stuck in the character he was playing.

Maybe Taehyun was going to far, and he was taking the role too serious. So far that he started acting the same way even in private. How much of everything he did and felt was just this damn role becoming a part of him?

‘Don’t do anything stupid, Taehyun. Think about what you’re doing. Don’t do anything you don’t mean.’ That was easier thought than done, because again, Taehyun wasn’t sure  _ what _ he really meant anymore. He sighed, hugging Yeonjun tighter.

At least one thing he knew was right. He enjoyed Yeonjuns company. He enjoyed his closeness, his warmth. He  _ did _ truly love Yeonjun with his whole heart, just not in the way he had to pretend like he did. But he loved him. And Yeonjun loved him back.

Just where did Taehyuns friendship love end, and where did the  _ fake _ love begin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my last notes I said that it would take some time for me to update because now I'm up to date and have posted all chapters I've written so far... and USUALLY it takes about one to two weeks for me to write a chapter, but? I wrote this in two days because I couldn't stop myself. This one and the upcoming chapter is my favourite so I kinda slipped,,,?
> 
> Aaah, I'm really excited to see the reactions and thoughts about this chapter... That kissing part wasn't even planned but it was like 6 in the morning and I was losing my mind while also craving physical affection and then this happened.
> 
> I'll try reply to comments from now on, sorry if you've left a comment but I didn't reply! Thank you all for reading once again! And please don't get used to these quick updates ;;


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, hi there. Before I start off with this chapter, I'd like to give a quick.. disclaimer sort of?  
> A mutual on twitter had recently notified me of finding this AU on wattpad, posted by someone else who then claimed Actor was their own.  
> I didn't think I'd ever have to say that but PLEASE. Have some common sense. Do not. Steal months of someone elses hard work to then pretend like its your own. You are both hurting your fans and the original author.
> 
> With that in mind, please notify me if you find Actor ANYWHERE ELSE that right here or on my Twitter EternallyHyun. Thank you, and please have fun with reading this chapter. Well... Fun? I don't think it's really gonna be fun :DD

Yeonjuns head was buzzing, nearly pulsating. It was completely quiet, his surroundings pitch black, but his entire body felt heavy. Yet, he tried to pry open his eyes. When he did, he was greeted by a light flooded room, blinding him and forcing him to close his eyes again.

Where the fuck was he? He tried to backtrack, remember what he did before falling asleep in this unknown place, yet just simply thinking too much was exhausting. He tried opening his eyes once again, slowly, wanting to raise his hand to shield himself from the light, yet couldn’t even move his body. He let out a groan, trying to get used to the light. Something moved next to him so he slowly turned his head and-

“Taehyun?” A pretty boy with messy red hair was sitting next to him, half his body covered with a blanket, the rest of it was wrapped around Yeonjuns body. Had they slept here, together? Yeonjun really gave his best to recall what on earth happened, but right now, his mind was blank, the aching pain in his head didn’t help him.

“Good morning.” Taehyun sounded tired, but soft. “How are you feeling?”

“My head’s gonna explode, I think.” Yeonjun sighed, lids still feeling heavy. Not heavy enough though to close his eyes again and miss out on Taehyuns gentle look. “Care to explain what’s going on? What you’re doing here?”

“I live here, Jun. This is my house.” Taehyun smirked while laying down next to Yeonjun again instead of sitting up.

“And what am I doing in your house?” Yeonjun tried to roll on his side to better be able to look at Taehyun. He furrowed his brows slightly after hearing Yeonjuns question.

“You forgot?”

“Looks like I did.”

“I picked you up last night. From Mins house. Beomgyu Hyung asked me to, because you were too drunk to walk properly and he couldn’t really look out for both you and Soobin. You remember nothing?”

“I think I remember walking home with you… And I remember like, a bit of the party. Like the beginning and all. Nothing more.” Yeonjun huffed, honestly pretty embarrassed about the fact that he got so wasted, he literally had to be picked up. But Taehyuns eyes widened.

“Oh. Okay. Well, I can tell you this much.” He shyly grinned. “You’re quite clingy. But it’s cute. You were sticking to me the whole time. You said cute things.”

“W- What did I say?”

“Are you joking or do you actually not remember?”   
“I don’t, really!” Yeonjun sighed as he watched Taehyuns expression get relaxed, somewhat relieved.

“You said that you want to cuddle a lot. And you never wanted me to leave your side.” He giggled. How embarrassing… God, Yeonjun had to hope that this was all, that there was nothing more he said that might have revealed his crush. And if he did, Taehyun had hopefully taken it as a joke or the senseless ramblings of a drunk person. “You were really cute last night. Anyways, let me get you some water. You must be thirsty and maybe it’ll help your headache a bit.” Now he got up and grabbed a bottle of water, half empty already. He pushed his hair back and smiled at Yeonjun.

The term ‘boyfriend material’ has always sounded stupid to Yeonjun but now he got it. Because right now it really was the only way to describe Taehyun. His pajamas, the shirt slightly shifted in a way that it exposed a bit of his collar bone, his messy hair, his tired yet soft eyes, his warm smile as he gave Yeonjun the water bottle… That was a sight his future boyfriend would be able to enjoy a lot. Damn. Yeonjuns heart was beating fast just looking at him. If only he could be in that position of watching Taehyun get up every morning, looking so sleepy and pretty.

He couldn't help but admire the boys body, his beautiful tiny waist Yeonjuns eyes were always immediately drawn to whenever he wasn't wearing huge sweaters that hid his body completely. God, his beautiful waist… How badly Yeonjun wanted to just hold him by the waist and pull him close. But that was- too much to think of right now.

He sighed as he tried to sit up, his head hurting badly again. He took a few sips from the water Taehyun had given to him and huffed. Taehyun sat down next to him again, looking at him with big worried eyes.

"How much did you drink last night?"

"Well…" Yeonjun moved closer to Taehyun just a bit. "If I knew, I'd tell you. But I don't even remember even getting here."

"Beomgyu said it was more than usually…" Taehyun lowered his head, his eyes fixed on his hands that were resting in his lap. "So you got really drunk even though I told you to be safe and I even mentioned before that I don't want you to drink much." Now Yeonjun not only felt pain in his forehead but also a sting of guilt in his heart. He usually controlled himself but something last night was telling him to just accept every drink he got his hands on. Sometimes he just had to drink to clear his mind. And it seemed like he had a lot on his mind that night. Which caused him to disappoint Taehyun.

"I- I'm sorry. I think I acted too reckless once again."

"You can be thankful that Beomgyu asked me to pick you up. I was worried the whole night to be honest because I didn't know if you were okay." Taehyuns voice turned from somewhat scolding to almost sad. He was playing with his hands as if he was nervous.

"Are you… mad?"

"Jun…" Taehyun now huffed once, just lightly. "You asked me the same thing last night. I'm not mad. I don't have the right to be mad at you for doing what you like, I'm not your mom, nor am I your boyfriend-" Why did he have to bring that up again? "-but I'm worried. You know all I want is for you to be okay."

"Taehyun…" Yeonjun reached for Taehyuns hand, held it, started to draw patterns onto it's back with his thumb. "I get that. I'm sorry, really. And it hurts me honestly to know that you were worried because of me. I want you to be happy just as much as you want me to be fine. I should have listened to you. You are right, you’re not my mom, but you’re my friend. You have every right to be mad or disappointed in me."

"Hey, Yeonjun, it’s fine. I’m not mad at you, I told you. You can do whatever you want, but- Just don't do it again. As cute as you were last night, getting you all the way here was the worst." He lightly giggled, then looked up to Yeonjuns face, scanning him.

"Am I not cute when I'm sober?"

"I think, you're always cute." Taehyun softly pulled away his hand from Yeonjuns grip to instead wrap an arm around him. "Well, most of the time."

"When am I not?"

"When you yell at people. Or punch them."

"Oh, come on!" Yeonjun laughed as he lifted up his hand to once again play with Taehyuns hair. Still as soft and beautiful as ever, if not more beautiful than before. "When do I ever yell at people?"

"A lot, actually. All the time, in fact. You get protective a lot. Kinda possessive even."

"Well. I don't want anyone to hurt you, right? You're  _ my  _ strawberry boy after all." He wasn't really  _ his _ but Yeonjun liked to at least pretend like he was. Yeonjun liked the thought of Taehyun belonging to him. He shouldn't, but he couldn't really control his thoughts when it came to Taehyun lately. He couldn't just stop thinking about how much he… liked Taehyun. How much he adored him. As a crush. That's what he forced himself to think.

"I'm your strawberry boy…" Taehyun repeated, letting go of Yeonjun once again. "That's cute."

" _ You're  _ cute."

"Aah, Juni, stop!" Taehyun giggled sweetly, his eyes sparkling. How endearing 'Juni' sounded when it came from Taehyun… "You can't go two minutes without complimenting me, huh?"

"Of course I can't, even if I tried! Maybe there's just too much about you to compliment…?"

"Arg, come on, stop! What do you want me to do? Pay you back? Tell you how cool you are?"

"You don't need to pay me back, Hyunnie!" Yeonjun laughed. "No need to say something sweet when your voice alone already is."

"Geez, come on, now you're fooling around."

"Maybe a bit, yeah. But for real. Everything about you is sweet."  _ Even your lips.  _ "You're a strawberry boy."

" _ Yours. _ I'm your strawberry."

Taehyun smiled, but just for a second. Then his eyes began scanning Yeonjuns face.

How could someone be this pretty…? How could anyone ever be this stunningly beautiful? How could anyone ever have lips as pillowy and kissable and simply gorgeous as Taehyuns? And why, out of all people, did Yeonjun choose to ask an angel like Taehyun to be his  _ fake  _ boyfriend, when he only ended up not being able to really  _ love  _ him?

"Yeonjun?" Taehyuns eyes were fixated on Yeonjuns face now. "You-" It seemed as if Taehyun held his breath, trying to stop himself from speaking out whatever he was about to say. In some way, the atmosphere had shifted in just a heartbeat. Like whatever he was about to say was a secret that the two would have to keep between them forever.

"What is it?" Yeonjun tried to turn his body, somehow position himself differently so that he could better look at Taehyun.

"Your lips are really pretty," Taehyun then finally whispered, leaving Yeonjun breathless for a second.

"Yours are too," Yeonjun answered just as quietly. Then time stopped. And Taehyun leaned forward.

His face moved closer to Yeonjuns, his hands resting on Yeonjuns chest. Yeonjun felt his heart beat faster and faster with every inch Taehyun came closer to his face. Was he about to kiss him? Even though they were alone? Why the fuck would he do that, why would he just kiss him despite no one being here?

Yeonjun had questions, and thoughts, and he had worries, and they were all raging in his head at once. They were circling and spinning and his headache only got worse, until  _ something  _ in his head clicked. And now there was just one thought.

_ I want to kiss him so bad. _

And so, Yeonjun finally snapped out of his paralysis, moving his hands to Taehyuns waist, leaning forward just a bit, and tilting his head.

Fucking finally.

Their lips slotted together perfectly, as if they were made for just each other. Nothing had ever felt so right. And there was no feeling Yeonjun had missed more than the softness of Taehyuns lips. And Taehyun was a good kisser, hell, he was such a good kisser.

His hands were now moving up from Yeonjuns chest to his face, holding it softly as he continued to press his lips against Yeonjuns, moving them ever so slightly. They separated for just a second, yet connected again immediately as Yeonjun pulled him closer.

He had been waiting for this moment for so long, had been craving the taste of Taehyuns lips like it was nicotine, because he had gotten addicted to it after their first kiss without even realizing it. He was dumb for thinking that he could just go on with Taehyun being his friend when he knew he wanted more and what they were sharing right now was exactly what Yeonjun wanted to happen again, and again, what he wanted it to become a routine for them.

He didn't want any more quick fake pecks to entertain the school, he wanted this. He wanted real kisses. He wanted to feel Taehyuns lips melt together with his own. He wanted kisses that would make Taehyun feel all the love and pure admiration he felt for him. And he wanted Taehyun to be his. His alone. He didn't want anymore faking. He wanted the real Taehyun. And he wanted this to go on forever.

But they separated. Taehyun pulled away, both his lips and face now in a bright shade of red. He stared at Yeonjun, pulling his hands away.

"Yeonjun, I-" He sounded weirdly out of breath. "I'm so sorry, shit! I didn't really-" Yeonjun now let go of Taehyuns waist. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!" Did he just say 'fuck'? He moved away, staring at the wall, eyes now wide open, as if he had committed a crime. "I didn't mean to… do this."

He didn't? Yeonjun huffed. Oh. Okay.

"It's fine."

"Forget about this, please. I didn't-"

"It's okay, Taehyun. I already forgot." Yeonjun smiled, or at least forced himself to. He didn't forget, obviously. He wouldn't forget that quickly. Hell, he’d probably never forget.

“I don’t know why I did this, I-” The fact that Taehyun seemed seriously upset with himself destroyed every last bit of happiness and excitement Yeonjun had felt after that kiss. “It’s… not gonna happen again, I promise.” Taehyun licked his lips quickly, not looking at Yeonjun once. Why? Why couldn't it happen again? Repeating that moment, kissing Taehyun again, over and over again, that really was all Yeonjun wanted. Why did Taehyun have to  _ promise  _ it as if it was something Yeonjun didn’t like when in reality, he had been waiting for this moment for so long?

“Taehyun-” Yeonjun wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to  _ promise _ , that he’d be okay if they broke that promise anytime, but- He couldn’t. What even was he supposed to say?

“I- I’ll get something to soothe your headache now. I’ll be right back.” Without another word, Taehyun got up and left the room, leaving Yeonjun alone.

Alone, sitting on the bed, blood still rushing through his body, lips still craving for more, and heart aching. He had felt something like this before. He had felt this slight pain, like a sting, before. But it now didn’t feel like a tiny needle that was burying itself into his heart anymore. It was something bigger. Maybe a knife, maybe a whole god damn axe. It was definitely painful, and it was spreading in his body.

For fucks sake, how did he not realise how much he was in love with Taehyun? How could this stupid dumbass think that he was just  _ crushing _ on him and it would go away soon? How could he think that he wasn’t gonna get hurt by Taehyun?

Yeonjun was in love, he was so in love with Taehyun, he wanted to be with him,  _ actually _ be with him and tell him how much he loved him and kiss him all day. The one thing Yeonjun wanted to do so goddamn bad was to  _ kiss _ Taehyun, as much and as long as possible. And he wanted it to be real.

But Taehyun didn’t.

Yeonjun sighed, leaned back and pushed his hair back. This was more than a friendship. This was more than a stupid deal. Yeonjun was in love, and  _ visibly _ in love. Taehyun wasn’t. And yet he went as far and-

“Why the fuck would you kiss me?” Yeonjun couldn’t help but mutter, massaging his temples. “And why would you do it so  _ well _ ?” It didn’t make sense. Taehyun was flirting too much with him, he was being too close with him to not feel anything either. And yet Yeonjun just knew that Taehyun didn’t feel the same. Because he was way too serious about, well, everything. About reputation and acting and fooling people and- about breaking up.

When Yeonjun had already forgotten about having to break up, Taehyun was still bringing it up too often. He was going to make it happen, he was going to end this fake relationship that started to turn into a real one without realising that this was so much more than an act, at least for Yeonjun. Taehyun  _ was _ going to break Yeonjuns heart. And Yeonjun just let him.

“Hyung.” Taehyun came back in again, his head still lowered. “I think that should help a bit with the head ache.” Yeonjun took the glass filled with water and something fizzy in it and Taehyun sat down next to him again, just a bit more distance between them than before.

At first, Taehyun said nothing, just played with his hands, and not daring to look at Yeonjun. I was obvious that he was not going to talk about what had just happened between them. He also kept the distance, like building an invisible wall between them, separating them for the first time despite sitting next to each other.

Then he finally lifted his head, looking at Yeonjun. Not directly into his eyes, but at least he was looking at him.

“Are you gonna take the bus home?”

“Probably.” Yeonjun sighed. He noticed how his voice now sounded slightly hoarse. “I’ll go back to my apartment.”

“Right, you live on your own now. How is it?”

“It’s nice. I feel safe.”   
“Not lonely?”

“Well-” Yeonjun had rather felt relieved in his new apartment. But he got the feeling that he  _ was _ going to wake up feeling lonely. “No. It’s really nice. I can always call over Soobin and Beomgyu, they both have the keys. You want my address? For like, emergencies or something?”

“Sure.” Taehyun nodded. “Not sure what kind of emergencies could really happen, but why not?”

“I’ll send it to you later.” Yeonjun inhaled, if he was being honest, it really felt like there was a weird tension between them. Fuck, he finally got what he was waiting for for so long and as soon as it was over, the whole situation got awkward because Taehyun didn’t actually mean it. Yeonjun wanted to get away, to escape this, and at the same time he wanted to stay by Taehyuns side, right here, and just wait for him to fall in love too. “When should I leave?”

“Whenever you feel better. I don’t want you to go out when you’re still having a headache or something. You can also take a nap if you want, I don’t mind.” Did Taehyun try to sound colder than usual? If he did, he was definitely failing, because even though his voice was just the slightest bit more distant, his words still sounded soft and caring as always.

“I’ll just stay here and sit down for a while if that’s fine with you.”

“Of course it’s fine,” Taehyun answered, and then added, voice lowered a bit: “As if I’m ever  _ not _ fine with having you around…”

Still seemed to have a soft spot for Yeonjun, huh? Maybe Taehyun just needed time. Maybe he had to think about all if this first, and maybe then he would- Feel something too.

Taehyun now got up again.

"Do you mind if I- Get Dan out for a second?"

It took a while for Yeonjun to remember who or what Dan is. He sighed, then slowly nodded. It wasn't like he was scared of snakes but they weren't exactly his favourite animals.

"Just quickly. I'll put him back right after." Taehyun crawled out of the bed and his face started lighting up a bit, making Yeonjun feel almost relieved to see him a bit more like himself again.

He opened the tank, reaching in.

“Hey there!” He greeted the snake that was now slithering up his hand, wrapping itself around his arm. Yeonjun was quite unsettled watching this, to say the least.

“So… you’re gonna feed him or what?”

“Not now, it’s time for feeding next week.”

“Next week?” Yeonjun continued to have his eyes on the snake that was climbing around Taehyuns arm.

“Oh, yes, he gets fed like two times a month. It’s not like I gotta feed him every day like a dog.”

“And.. what do you feed him?”

“Well-” Taehyun began grinning, reached out to Dan with his other hand when he was almost gliding from his arm to support him. “I’m not sure if you really wanna hear it. But it’s mice. Kind of cool to watch him eat though. He wraps around his prey when-”

“Yeah, you know what, maybe I don’t want to know.” Yeonjun physically cringed at the thought of having to feed that snake, partly in disgust and also kind of in horror. Dan was  _ long _ , certainly, but didn’t look like he could devour a whole mouse. But apparently he  _ could _ , which made him seem even more unpredictable and, well, quite dangerous.

“Do you want to hold him?” Taehyun now asked, holding Dan into Yeonjuns direction. “You have to be gentle with him of course.”

“Oh, Taehyun, there’s really no need to-” Yeonjun shook his head, just lightly because too much movement caused him to already get dizzy. “Arg. Really, I don’t need to hold him.” Taehyun just shrugged, continued to watch Dan crawl between his fingers.

“Too bad.” He then looked up, brows furrowed just slightly. “Are you scared of him?”

“No?” Yeonjun was quick to defend himself. “I’m not scared of a tiny snake like this, come on.” He laughed it off, but then again, Taehyun wasn’t wrong? Yeonjun wasn’t scared of Dan, how could anyone be scared of a snake called  _ Daniel _ , but the animal  _ did _ freak him out a bit. He adored Taehyun for handling it like it was a pet like any other, being so cool and natural about it, playing with it and knowing so much. There really was no one else like Taehyun.

No one else was as endearing and unique and perfect as him. Yeonjun sighed as he watched the boy play with the snake, smiling at it, as if nothing had ever happened today. His head hurt, but his heart did even more. Taehyun would just continue to ignore it. Not talk about it. Go on with his life as if he didn’t just-

Well, at least he was smiling now. Maybe he forgot already. Maybe he wouldn’t ever think about it again. If he did forget, maybe he wouldn’t end up almost hesitant with physical affection.

Yeonjuns heart hurt, it never stopped hurting ever since Taehyun had left the room a few minutes ago, and he knew that it wasn’t going to stop hurting that easily. And he knew that with every day it would only hurt more, until one day maybe it’d tear apart. But it was alright for now. After all, he had one more week left to be in love with Taehyun more or less openly, to let him feel his admiration. One more week left for Yeonjun to watch Taehyun smile and giggle, to hold him and look at him like his eyes hold the world. One more week left for him to completely deny the fact that he was going to be heartbroken and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do to prevent that.

Fuck that. Yeonjuns heart hurt more and more, just thinking about this bullshit. He closed his eyes when the pain wouldn’t stop pulsating in his forehead. By now he could only guess the reason for drinking so much and never declining another shot last night. Maybe headache would make heartache go away. But he didn’t expect the night to end in Taehyuns bed, he didn't intend on waking up next to him, and he would have never thought that in the end, it was still the heartache overpowering any other pain.

“Are you still tired?” Taehyun asked as he noticed Yeonjun having his eyes shut. Not tired, but exhausted rather. “You can sleep more if you want. You- You can stay the whole day until you feel better, you know?” Yeonjun slowly nodded.

“Wake me up again in an hour.” He sighed on last time. “I’m so fucking done right now.”


	13. Chapter 13

Yeonjun dropped his bag next to Beomgyus, sighing and looking at his friend, who just now looked up from his book. He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall of their usual meeting spot in school. Again, no one else was there, probably due to the temperature that had drastically fallen since sunday.

“How’re you doing?” Beomgyu watched Yeonjun sit down on the cold floor next to him. “Got home safely on Saturday?”

“I guess so. Can’t really remember.” Yeonjun looked around cautiously, trying to spot anyone else joining them in skipping class that might interrupt their conversation and prevent Yeonjun from… well, opening up.

He got home at around 4 in the afternoon yesterday, after falling asleep at Taehyuns place again and having Mr Kang offer him to stay for a meal. Mrs Kang came home too, not to keen on finding her sons boyfriend in their house on a what was supposed to be peaceful Sunday, but simply lived with it, soon disappearing into her bedroom to probably have a nap.

Taehyun and him didn’t bring up the kiss again. They didn’t cuddle, didn’t even hold hands or anything of sorts, probably because Taehyun didn’t want to make it awkward again. Yet it only ended up feeling weird and distant, because it was simply natural for them to be close to each other. And when Yeonjun ended up leaving, thankfully still getting a tight hug as a goodbye, he felt heavy. And in love.

He knew that he couldn’t just keep it for himself. That it was going to break him completely if he didn’t talk about it. And there really was only one person who he could talk to. Beomgyu. But how on earth was he supposed to even start? He knew exactly what was coming for him, an ‘I told you this was going to happen’ and a ‘See who’s right now’. But despite the teasing and scolding, Yeonjun was also well aware that Beomgyu would give absolutely everything to make him feel better and take care of him. Now how to start that conversation?

“How was it after I was gone?”

“Honestly…” Beomgyu sighed. “A lot more chill. Not that you annoyed me, but I’ve never seen you this fucking wasted to be honest. Soobin was drunk too, and I couldn’t even keep up with you, I swear to god. Having you gone and knowing that you were in safe hands was… quite relieving.”

“How was Soobin doing?”

“As usual. Didn’t drink anymore after you left. He started to sober up more or less quickly.” Now Beomgyu closed his book and dropped it, staring at the ground. His expression was almost emotionless, yet his ears started turning slightly red. Yeonjun wasn’t sure if it was due to the cold air or maybe… something else?

“Yeonjun- Would it be weird if I told you that Soobin and me-” Beomgyu huffed, scratching the back of his neck. Yeonjuns eyes widened. What the fuck did he miss that night after leaving? “Well- How can I say it, I guess we’ve become a bit closer.”

“Wait.” For a second Yeonjun really forgot why he wanted to talk to Beomgyu in the first place. What? Closer? Oh god, were the two really developing healthy and steady romantic feelings for eachother while Yeonjun was out here suffering? “Do you mean, you two are like… dating?”

“No! Oh god, no… Not like this, not this fast, but we got to, uh- talk? Right, we- talked I guess. And came to the conclusion that maybe there have been feelings we didn’t really realise up until then. We agreed to stay friends and we’ll just see where the future leads us.” Beomgyu seemed like he tried to hide it, but it didn’t exactly go as planned and so he wasn’t able to stop himself from smiling brightly.

“Damn. That’s pretty cool. I mean- I’m kind of excited for you. How’d that even happen?”

“Guess you’re braver when you’re drunk. He said what was on his mind. And apparently I was on his mind that moment.” Beomgyu seemed to get shy, lowered his head more to hide his growing smile.

“Oh my god, that’s so sappy, please!”

“I’m _sorry_ , let me have a love life too!” Beomgyu giggled, and finally lifted his head again. “It feels kinda weird, like- You suddenly realize your feelings and in just a second, everything starts hitting you and- you suddenly notice how you’ve had these feelings all this time but just didn’t- You just didn't understand them before and now it kind of makes sense I guess. It’s so hard to explain?”

“No, I get you.” Yeonjun huffed. “I relate.”

“You… do?” Now Beomgyu furrowed his brows as he scanned Yeonjun. “Do you mean-” Yeonjun only sighed, forced himself to chuckle, then nodded.

“I guess it hit me too. The feelings.”

“You… Hold up, are we talking about Taehyun? You like Taehyun?”

“More than that.” Yeonjun let out a heavy sigh, letting his head fall back, staring into the sky through the branches of the trees and bushes surrounding them. “I’m dumb for not realizing it earlier. I've fallen in love and I’ve never admired and _wanted_ someone like this.”

“Jun-” Beomgyu put an arm around him, then he sighed. “I know I’m gonna sound rude, but… this is exactly what I feared would happen. I’ve told you this shit wouldn't end well.”

“You did, and you were right, but now it’s too late and we are breaking up in a week and-”

“And you’ll have to confess before you break up. You’re gonna be super fucked up if you just let that breakup happen. Stop pretending and tell him.”

“If I do, I’m gonna fuck up our whole relationship.”

“As if your relationship isn’t already fucked up, Jun.”

“But at least I can remain friends with him after our breakup?”

“Yo, you could also just… not break up? And actually date instead?”

“See, what you’re assuming right now…” Yeonjun grunted, pulling his sleeves over his hands which slowly started getting colder. “...is that he has feelings for me too. And I know that’s not the case. It might _seem_ like it, but- He’s too much into this whole acting thing. He doesn’t bat an eye when he talks about the breakup. Even yesterday, he was literally so upset with himself after he kissed me-”

“Hold the fuck up. He kissed you? Are you fucking stupid? Like does your brain work at all? He kissed you and you think that he doesn’t feel the same? Yeonjun, you’re a fucking dumbass and it actually physically hurts me.”

“Gyu, you don’t understand though. I know it sounds like he actually likes me but something was off about him after the kiss. He apologized and almost looked embarrassed? Like he did it just to try it out or something and then came to the conclusion that it was not the right thing to do. And he keeps bringing up the breakup as if it wouldn’t hurt him at all, as if he was ready to just be done with this. That kiss really gave me hopes for a second, but- His reaction was off.”

“You have to tell him regardless. You’re gonna be hurt otherwise.”

“I’ll be hurt anyways.” Yeonjun sighed, closed his eyes that now started feeling heavier. “Guess I already am.”

“Jun…” Beomgyu pulled him closer now, softly patted his shoulder. “I wish I could help you but I can only really tell you to confess before it’s too late. If you tell him, there might still be a chance of him liking you back. And even if he doesn’t, you’ll still have it off your chest. I’m gonna be here for you, okay? And-” He hesitated. “I think it’s really time to tell Soobin.”

“Wait, no- I can’t do that.” Yeonjun now moved away from Beomgyus touch to look at him. “I don’t think it’s the right time to tell him.”

“You have to do it now though. Because it’s not just a fun little pretend thingy but it’s getting serious. It’s about actual feelings potentially getting hurt and he has a right to know.”

“What if he gets mad though…”

“Oh!” Beomgyu huffed, shook his head. “Soobin got every right to be mad, Jun. But the later you tell him, the worse it gets. He needs to know what’s going on. And if he gets mad, so be it. Not telling him _is_ a pretty big deal after all. He promised to come in a few minutes so that’s your chance. I can leave you two alone too, if you want.” Yeonjun crossed his arms, anxiety creeping up in him. Then he slowly nodded.

“I guess I’ll have to tell him then-” Yeonjun tried to smile to hide the fear he was actually feeling right now. Beomgyu just nodded, then slowly got up.

“He told me he’d be here in five or so. I’ll be back soon, but imma give you some time. Remember not to fuck up your friendship of 10 years, yeah?” Beomgyu ruffles through Yeonjuns hair more or less carefully and left.

Damn, Beomgyu. Really just left like that, leaving Yeonjun alone with his fears and uncertainty. Yeonjun sighed, already trying to somehow find out how to even _start_ that conversation. How was he even supposed to say it? How could he explain all of this without Soobin getting mad at him?

Well, Soobin never got mad at him. Like ever. They’ve never even argued in the 10 years they knew each other now, and _if_ they did, it was only about the smallest and dumbest things. They always ended up laughing about it just a few minutes later. Maybe they’d be able to do the same now? Now that Yeonjun thought about it… probably not. He groaned once again, playing with the sleeves of his jacket as he nervously waited for Soobin to finally join him.

It really just took a few painfully long minutes when he heard the deep and gentle voice of his very best friend calling out his name.

“Jun? Why the fuck are you alone? Didn’t Gyu-”

“Actually!” Yeonjun finally got up now after freezing his ass off. “Actually Gyu is gonna be here soon, but I, uhm… I wanted to talk?” Now Soobins eyes widened.

“Oh? W-Wait, you know about Beomgyu and me though, right? That we-”

“That you’re lowkey catching feelings? Yeah. He told me.”

“Good…” Soobin smiled, showing his deep pretty dimples. “I asked Beomgyu to tell you because I’m not sure how to properly phrase it so… Didn’t know if he told you already. What do you need though?” He leaned on the wall next to Yeonjun, dropping his bag.

“It’s, uhm-” Yeonjun took a deep breath. “It’s about Taehyun and me.”

“Oh-” Soobins smile immediately turned into a worried frown. “Please don’t tell me you broke up-”

“No! No. Not… not yet.”

“Are you… planning to or-”

“We pretty much are.” When Yeonjun only got confused looks, he sighed. “It’s hard to explain. But please listen to me, okay?” Soobin slowly nodded, and Yeonjun took a deep breath. That was going to be… a long and weird ride. “Taehyun and I, we are… planning to break up by the end of this week. But the thing is, we had it planned from the beginning. From the very first day, it was our plan to break up after a month.”

“What? How the fuck-”

“Taehyun and me aren’t in a real relationship.” There. He said it. The worst part was over. Or was it? “We- We faked it. Like all of it, or at least we did at the beginning, things are different now, but what I’m trying to say… We’re not real boyfriends. We put up an act these past three weeks.”

“You don’t love him?” Soobins voice sounded uncomfortably monotone.

“Well- At the beginning I didn’t, but- I’ve developed feelings for him, I can’t deny them anymore. And now Beomgyu said I should tell you so-”

“Beomgyu knew?”

“Yeah. He found out so I told him last week or so but-”

“So you lied to me?” Soobin wasn’t even looking at Yeonjun anymore, his expression cold as ice. He wasn’t used to Soobin looking like this. His features always looked soft, happy, and now-

“I didn’t- I didn’t lie.”

“No? But you pretended like you dated, you told us- told _me_ that you love him from the very beginning, told me that you fell in love at first sight, and none of that was true. Doesn’t that make you a liar, Yeonjun?” Yeonjun didn’t answer, a bit taken aback. He was right, but- “And from what I’ve gathered just now, you didn’t plan on telling me either. You only did because you got into a bad situation and Beomgyu told you to tell me too. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have done it, right?”

“I- probably. Right.”

“Okay. I see.” Now Soobin just stayed quiet for a while. Then, he exhaled softly, still not looking at Yeonjun once. “Now go on. Why’d you fake a relationship? And what kept you from telling me?”

"It was for dumb reasons. When I broke up with Hyunji, I guess my- stupid fragile ego got hurt. I wanted to prove to her that I can move on. I wanted to uphold my image, I didn't want to lose my status and-" Yeonjun sighed. "Nobody was supposed to know. If people found out, I would have been a clown for the rest of my life. I couldn't risk telling anyone." For a few more seconds, Soobin said nothing. He didn't move either, but then furrowed his brows.

"Do you think I would have told anyone? Did you not trust me?"

"Soobin- No, I trust you, you're my best friend."

"But something kept you from telling me regardless."

"Yeah, because- You were so supportive of me, and you were so excited, and-"

“But I was excited about a lie, about something that wasn’t even real! I was excited about you being happy and in love again.” The scariest thing about Soobin right now was the lack of anger in his voice. He sounded almost completely calm, yet his words held so much power.

“And I didn’t want to take that excitement away from you, Bin. Wouldn’t you have been disappointed if I told you?”

“Yeonjun, you don’t get it. Of course I would have been sad that you haven’t _actually_ found a new partner but the problem isn’t that you faked it and just pretended to be in a relationship, but that you didn’t bother to tell me. We’ve never lied to each other, why now? I would have supported your plan, you know that. You had the opportunity to tell me and Beomgyu from the very beginning when we started asking you about the relationship. We were alone too, you could have just said it then without risking someone listening to us.”

Something about Soobin made him so intimidating, maybe his nearly emotionless tone, maybe his eyes that seemed darkened now, staring straight ahead at the ground. And yet, he looked… sad, almost.

“I didn’t want to hurt you then.”

“But you did.”

“Are you mad at me?” Soobin huffed at that question, turning his head away.

“I thought you’d always tell me everything. I’m disappointed. I’m hurt. Fuck, of course I am mad!” That hurt. Soobins voice slowly lost its softness. “You decided to lie at me for such a long time about something this important, and now that you fucked up, you finally tell me. But you didn’t even decide to tell me yourself, you're only doing it because Beomgyu told you to.”

“I didn't want to hurt you,” Yeonjun repeated, not even knowing what else to answer. He fucked up. Once again. Fuck, could it get any worse by now? Was everything really going down the drain now?

“How did you think that not telling me _at all_ wasn’t going to hurt me? It feels like you don’t trust me anymore! I-” And now Soobin finally looked at Yeonjun, he looked him straight in the eyes. Shit. There was something in Soobins eyes, something sparkled in them, gleamed. Hurt. Hurt and anger. Soobin had never been mad at Yeonjun, not in the 10 years they had been friends. But now he was. “I feel like you left me alone. I feel like I don’t… matter…?”

“Hey, don’t say that, I love you-”

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have lied all this time.”

“But I didn’t really lie, I just-”

“You didn’t? What’s ‘lying’ to you then? Is keeping a secret like this pretending and telling me so much stuff that isn’t true not lying?”

“It- It was an act, it was acting, like a play, or a drama-” Yeonjun didn’t know why he felt the need to defend himself, when Soobin had every right to be mad, but he had to justify his actions somehow.

“You can’t be serious. Yeonjun, there is a fucking difference between you _acting_ like you're in a relationship but letting me _know_ that it’s not real and straight up not telling me anything. I don’t go watch a Disney movie thinking it’s a documentary about singing animals, I _know_ that what I’m about to watch isn’t real, that it’s a story, that it’s made up.”

“Soobin-”

“No, no, I don’t- Just leave me alone for a while. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Soobin, wait!” Yeonjun tried to reach for his friends hand as he was about to leave, then hesitated, not being sure if it wouldn’t make him even angrier. “I just- I thought it was the right thing to do, I didn’t want to hurt you, but-”

“But you _did_ hurt me! Just leave me be.” Soobins voice had gotten shaky. He picked up his bag hastily, didn’t once look at Yeonjun again and just left instead, leaving Yeonjun in the cold, motionless and guilty. He felt his heart burn, his entire chest, and it then spread up his shoulders and neck, making them feel stiff, unable to move. And lastly, his eyes. They began burning, watching Soobin walk away with big steps.

Yeonjun covered his eyes with his hand as he leaned on the wall again, exhaling. His face felt cold, almost frozen, yet his body was hot, burning, a fire was raging in his heart. It wasn’t anger. It was no fire that wanted to destroy others, but rather an inferno planning to turn Yeonjun to ashes. It was guilt and fear and right now it was loneliness too. If only Beomgyu was here. Or Taehyun. Or even just someone like Min.

Why did Soobin have to leave him now, right _now_ out of all days, when everything was already starting to fall apart? Why couldn’t he just stay and not be mad but comfort him instead and-

No. It was what he deserved, right? Soobins anger was justified. Yeonjun was a liar. He had so many chances to just tell him but he didn’t bother to do so because he thought it wasn’t a big deal, and now-

Yeonjun slowly slid down the wall and sat down on the cold dirty floor, pulling his legs closer to his body. He just fucked up a friendship of 10 years. Fucked up his bond to one of his very favourite persons, to someone he would probably die for, just because he thought telling him about something important as this wasn’t necessary. He sighed shakily as he waited for anyone to come and join him in sitting on the floor outside in the cold. Anyone, really just anyone.

And it took a few minutes. But then he heard steps, someone coming closer. He prayed for it to be someone he was at least somewhat close to.

“Jun…” Thank god it was a familiar voice. “I just met Soobin on the way back, what did-” Beomgyu hesitated when Yeonjun wouldn’t look up to him but instead once again hid his eyes. “He got mad, right?”

“Maybe you go spend time with him now…” Yeonjun didn’t want Beomgyu to leave again, but what he wanted even less was for Soobin to be alone now. “So at least you won’t fuck up your relationship.”

“Yeonjun, what the fuck…?” Beomgyu sat down next to his friends and started to gently pat his back. “You didn’t fuck up your relationship, man.”

“Oh? For the past 3 weeks I did nothing but lie to him and now I only ended up hurting him. He doesn’t even wanna _talk_ to me anymore, Gyu. I fucked up!”

“Hey… You’re being a bit too dramatic here, you big baby…” Beomgyu sighed. He then put an arm around Yeonjuns shoulders, pulling him close. “Yeah, he’s mad. Understandably so. But it’s not like he’s gonna hurt you forever. Fucking hell, that would be illegal, he can’t just drop you like that. He probably needs a break. Give him a while, okay? Give him a week or two to really think about it. If he doesn’t wanna talk to you by then, I’ll force him to, okay?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer. Instead, he just leaned his head on Beomgyus shoulder, allowing himself to be hugged tightly by his best friend.

“Jun, this was one of the only times you ever argued. Soobin loves you too much to just never talk to you again. You know how forgiving he is. I still to this day don’t understand how he puts up with _my_ bullshit, and hey, look at us, we are lowkey highkey crushing on each other. I know it’s hard for you right now. You’re a big idiot and you’ve kinda gotten yourself in some weird ass situations and you probably need all the help and emotional support you can get. But I’ll be there for you now. And Bin will be there for you too, if you give him some time.”

“I’m honestly just scared. I want everything to end. I want Soobin to not be mad and I want Taehyun to-” Yeonjun sighed, almost groaned. “I want a happy ending, Gyu. No more pain and hurt but just a goddamn happy ending.”

“You’ll have your happy ending, Yeonjun.”

“You can’t promise it though.”  
“I can’t. But I can hope with you. And I can be with you until it’s all over.”

Yeonjun really only wanted to see Taehyun now. He just wanted to be around him. Taehyun had promised him to wait for him after school today, and Yeonjun couldn’t be more excited. Yes, there had been a weird, just slightly awkward tension between them, but Taehyun gave Yeonjun a feeling of comfort nonetheless. And that was just what he needed right now. after he had spent the day just… feeling guilty. Overthinking. Worrying. And really just wishing for everything to end. Now, if Taehyun could give him a bit of energy…

If Taehyun could just calm him down. Hold his hand or hug him or just smile at him, that’d be enough to forget about all these emotions of trouble and fear for maybe just a second. Beomgyu was probably right, Yeonjun was overreacting, but he was hurt anyways, he was scared that Soobin would hold a grudge, that he would lose him while losing Taehyun at the same time.

Yeonjun walked through the school with an ice cold expression. Being alone, almost rushing through the now pretty busy halls, and the people desperately trying to get out of his ways, almost cowering as he passed them… It gave Yeonjun the kind of feeling he almost forgot about for the past weeks. It gave him a sense of power. It reminded him of his status, his image of being the, how some people apparently called him, ‘Demon King’ of the school.

Yeonjun had stopped caring completely about the looks he got after a week or so of being with Taehyun. Funny how he set up this whole relationship just so he could keep that notorious image, and yet after just a while, he completely forgot about it, started to focus on Taehyun instead. It had never been that way with Hyunji. Maybe because their relationship was just serving of a symbol of their power, they were a walking billboard for people to look at and fear. The fact that he actually _enjoyed_ the time he spent with Taehyun only proved to him that this time, he was in love. He cared more about Taehyun than he cared about his image, and about himself in general.

The two had agreed to meet outside, so when Yeonjun left the school through the main entrance, he immediately tried to spot Taehyun in the masses of leaving students, yet he was nowhere to be seen. Yeonjun sighed. Where could he be waiting? Maybe further away from the entrances, a bit down the street. Yeonjun put his hands in his pockets and marched down the big courtyard, constantly keeping his eyes out for his boyfriend.

When Yeonjun spotted him, his heart dropped. Taehyun wasn’t alone. A tall guy was standing in front of him, too close for Yeonjuns taste, arms crossed, but seemingly comfortably talking to Taehyun.

Something in his brain clicked, and a single memory came back to his mind from last weekend. A memory of him approaching Taehyun who was talking to that same guy at the party. Yeonjuns steps fastened and his eyes darkened.

“What the fuck is your business, Hyunseok? Why are you talking to _my_ boyfriend?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :D Hope you enjoyed reading :D I don't know what to say other than THANK. YOU. SO MUCH. FOR. ALL THE SUPPORT!  
> I love you all so much and I'm so thankful for every single reader... You guys really heal me in a though time :(  
> ALSO this chapter isn't up on Twitter yet, so this is SUPER EXCLUSIVE WWOOOOOH!!!
> 
> @ my groupchat: you were all wrong. You were wrong all along. HAHAHAHA!


	14. Chapter 14

The air was almost icy cold outside compared to the warm school building. Taehyun had to pull the sleeves of his turtleneck over his hands as he tried to close his jacket. Their class ended early today due to their teacher having to be somewhere, which meant that Taehyun had to wait for Yeonjun to pick him up for a bit longer than anticipated.

Yeonjun wanted to meet him after school today, for no particular reason other than just seeing him quickly. But now Taehyun was going to wait for a few minutes until Yeonjun would even arrive, which meant standing in cold, probably alone, waiting for him. He would have loved to wait with Kai, but he wasn't in school today, so he had to somehow just stay by himself.

Taehyun walked slowly, not exactly knowing where to spend that extra time now. He should probably stay somewhere close to a building, and near the entrance so that Yeonjun could quickly spot him. Then again, maybe it would also benefit him if he just moved around instead of just staying in one place and ending up freezing.

And so Taehyun ended up wandering around, up and down the street, checking for Yeonjun to maybe come and meet him. Nobody was there though. Obviously, because school would end in some time for some people, and Yeonjun would appear early for absolutely no reason.

It took a bit of just… walking when someone finally caught Taehyuns attention. It wasn’t Yeonjun though, sadly. Someone else insead, someone Taehyun had seen just recently.

Someone in a coat, walking down the street, his long hair in a bun, hands in his pockets. A handsome young man, Taehyun had to admit it. Well, he kind of admitted it every time he saw him. It was always easy to recognize Hyunseok when you saw him. The hair alone made him stand out, and once you started to take a closer look, his quite attractive face, and especially the two tones eyes were what further made him so unique.

But what brought him here? He was no student here, at least not anymore. But Taehyun quickly remembered. Hyunji was his sister. And they seemed to have quite the good relationship, considering that she told him pretty much everything that upset her, so maybe he was here to pick her up or something?

Taehyun wouldn’t bother much, just wait for Yeonjun. That was his plan at least, but of course, it wouldn’t go his way. Because when Hyunseok spotted him, he furrowed his brows and approached Taehyun. He sighed. By now he knew he wasn’t going to beat him up, Hyunseok had lost his intimidating aura. And yet he wasn’t quite the person Taehyun was looking to have a conversation with.

“Taehyun? Kang Taehyun?” Hyunseok flashed a charming smile, hands digging deeper into the pockets of his black coat. “We see each other so soon again?”

“Right.” Taehyun sighed, trying to avoid eye contact. “You remember our encounter.”

“Why would I not? Honestly it’s pretty embarrassing to think back to it. My friends were assholes, no doubt. And I was drunk, but my point still stands.”

“Your point?” He crossed his arms as he looked up to Hyunseok.

“Yeah. My point that first of all, these parties are no fun places for someone fragile like you to hang out at-” Calling him _fragile_ was almost insulting. Taehyun was maybe pretty short and his body seemed to appear quite slim, but he was occasionally working out! He was physically stronger than people might think! “And secondly, I still think that Yeonjun isn’t a good guy to date.”

“And why would you care? Why can’t you just leave us be? I don’t know you and you have no right to give me any relationship advice.”

“Taehyun, I’m trying to help you.”

“There’s no need for your help though. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about my relationship with Yeonjun.” Hyunseok started getting on Taehyuns nerves. How dare he say that Yeonjun wasn’t a good boyfriend?

“I’m trying to help because I don’t want anyone to get hurt by him again. My sister was in a relationship with him for nine whole months, do you think I don’t know anything about him?”

“Well!” Taehyun gazed up to the taller one in front of him, watching his expression turn into something almost worried. “You do realize that I’m different from Hyunji? And that our relationship has a very different dynamic from his previous one? You realize that your sister and me are different from the core and Yeonjun probably also grew as a person and learned from his past mistakes? You do understand that the main difference between me and Hyunji is that I truly, really truly, _love_ Yeonjun?” It really had become easier to say this. Not that it hadn’t been easy before, it was a simple line Taehyun was delivering, but by now it was feeling so much more natural. _Love_. It was sweet to say. A line Taehyun had mastered.

“Hyunji loved him. It just started to fade when she understood that he wasn’t loving her back. It’s gonna happen to you too, it will be painful, and that’s why I’m recommending you to cut the ties now.” Taehyun just huffed, shaking his head.

“Some things aren’t meant to be. But we are.” This whole conversation honestly sounded kind of pointless right now. Because they obviously weren’t meant to be, they’d literally break up this week or so. But at least for now he had to pretend like he was sure it was going to last forever. “Please don’t try to dictate the relationship of a stranger.”

“You know we don’t have to be strangers.”

“What?”

“We could get to know each other if we wanted to.” Hyunseok smiled, looking almost too handsome to decline- for someone who might have been interested in him, which Taehyun really was not.

“If we wanted to, yeah. But we don’t.”

“We don’t? I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Are you trying to hit on me? When I have a boyfriend?”

“Oh, Taehyun!” Hyunseok let out a laugh, deep and smooth. “I told you to cut him off. Do it now before it’s too late. But you know…” Now a smirk appeared on his lips. “If he did hurt you, I could be a comfort.”

Woah. What the fuck. Was that his goal? No ‘protecting’ and ‘warning’ and all that stuff but to just hit on Taehyun like that? Kind of disgusting. And yet somewhat smooth, he had to admit it.

“Pretty sure I’ll find comfort in someone else, thank you very much.” Taehyuns eyes narrowed. “I don’t need a complete stranger to first tell me to break up with my boyfriend and then flirt with me.”

“I’m deeply sorry, Taehyun, but you’re just cute. You’re my type.” To say that Taehyun wasn’t at least somewhat flattered by this would have been a lie, because it _did_ feel damn good to know that someone actually had their eyes out for him, especially when it came to someone as, well, objectively attractive as Hyunseok. And yet, it was kind of cheap.

“Congratulations for having an amazing taste in men- I wouldn’t have expected you to be interested in men at all to be honest- but I have my eyes on someone who isn’t trying to manipulate me into dropping a whole relationship. And that someone is, coincidentally, my boyfriend.”

“Oh I get it, Taehyun. I’m just making you an offer. Just in case.”

“I’m declining that offer. Thank you.”

“Well! It was worth a try.” Hyunseok now just shrugged, took a small step back. “But I’m serious nonetheless. You could get in trouble if you’re with Yeonjun. He might make you happy now but just wait a bit longer. Watch him break your heart. And not only is he a heartbreaker, he’s a bad influence too. You’re a pretty innocent boy, am I right? He’s gonna try take that innocence away. He’ll start with making you skip class, and then you’ll get dragged into more and more bullshit.”

“That’s a bit dramatic.” Taehyun shook his head. Honestly, what Hyunseok was saying was exactly what Taehyun had expected to happen just a few weeks ago. He thought Yeonjun would get him into trouble because he _was_ a troublemaker. But he almost did the opposite. He was rather protecting Taehyun from any harm instead of trying to drag him into his fights. He behaved well, and most importantly, he had such a big heart. Especially for Taehyun.

“It’s a justified worry. He was planning to do that with Hyunji too, I just know it.”

“I don’t think you _know_ anything about Yeonjun. He’s good hearted and sweet and loving. He would never want the people he loves to get in trouble. He’s protective. You don’t know shit about him, you blindly trust what your sister has told you about him.” Maybe Taehyun started to sound more upset that he really wanted to, but it _did_ annoy, no, it angered him. Hyunseok was in no place to talk badly about Yeonjun. He didn’t know a thing. He wasn’t as close to him as Taehyun was. And Taehyun knew one thing: Even Hyunji was in no way as close to Yeonjun as him. Even though this whole dating thing was a big lie, the actual relationship between them was something that probably couldn’t even compare to what Yeonjun and Hyunji had. It was stronger. Weirder maybe, but stronger.

“I know him for over 10 months, Taehyun. You can trust me-”  
“You don’t. You barely know him. You know him from your basketball stuff and you know him from what Hyunji tells you about him, but you don’t know him on a personal level. You don’t know how he thinks.” _And how he talks. How he smells and feels and… tastes._ Only Taehyun knew.

“Hyunji was in a relationship with him for nine months, don’t you think that she knows him? Don’t you think that when she says her feelings got hurt, it was true?”

“I’m not trying to invalidate her feelings. But I do believe that their relationship was much different from ours now. Image was a big part of them. Popularity. Status. I’m not denying that they loved each other at the beginning, but there always was this pressure to the relationship, and in my case it’s different. I don’t _want_ to be in the middle of attention. I don’t want to uphold someone's image. I’m with Yeonjun because I love him.”

No, that was a lie. It was for Yeonjuns reputation. He was with him because of status. And yet-

“If you don’t want attention then being with Yeonjun doesn’t seem to be right, don’t you think? That’s what he’s going to cause. That you’re the center of attention because _he is_ too.” Hyunseok sighed. “Really, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. It’ll be hard to get away from him later. Taehyun, I think you’re really nice. And I just want to help you. You deserve someone better. I believe that someone who could treat you better is out there.”

‘No one treats me better than him’ That’s what Taehyun wanted to say now, but he only really got to open his mouth to speak when someone interrupted him.

“What the fuck is your business, Hyunseok?” Hyunseok almost flinched when he heard the cold but familiar voice echo over to him. “Why are you talking to _my_ boyfriend?”

Taehyun hadn’t even noticed all the students coming out of the building. School now seemed to have ended officially without him realizing, and through the masses, one boy was walking towards them. Taehyun couldn’t hold back a smile. Yeonjun _always_ got him out of situations like this. Maybe he had to wait a while this time, but in the end, he did come.

“Speaking of the devil…” Hyunseok pulled his hands out of his pockets, turning around to Yeonjun with crossed arms, then taking a step closer to Taehyun. “Aren’t other guys allowed to talk to him? Am I that much of a thread to you?” Yeonjuns eyes had already been ice cold, but now they seemed to hold an entire snow storm. “Am I making you insecure?”

“Just tell me why you’re talking to my boyfriend or get away from him.”

“Maybe Taehyunnie wants to tell you himself?” Taehyun froze when Yeonjuns eyes widened and he looked at him waiting for an answer. Why did he look so worried? Didn’t Yeonjun trust him? No- No, Hyunseok was obviously trying to make it seem like he was getting along with Taehyun perfectly. He was trying to make Yeonjun jealous. Offering genuine help was one thing, but now he was just trying to start drama and arguments between them. Taehyun wouldn’t give him that opportunity.

“What is it? Why don’t you want to tell your oh so amazing boyfriend what was going on between us-” Hyunseok reached out to Taehyuns shoulder with a smile, but Taehyun moved away immediately.

“Don’t call me ‘Taehyunnie’ and don’t _fucking_ touch me,” Taehyun hissed, maybe a bit too sharply, because Hyunseok was pulling his hand back almost in shock while Yeonjun only widened his eyes even more. “You’re making it seem as if we’re best friends when all you did was try to tell me that Yeonjun is an asshole and flirt with me!”

“What?” Yeonjun now moved closer to Hyunseok. “You did what now?”

“I’m only telling the truth, come on. You’re an asshole, you know it. You’re gonna give him nothing-”

“Who do you think you are? _Flirting_ , seriously? When he has a fucking boyfriend? That’s pretty low, even for someone like you.” Yeonjuns eyes narrowed again.

“I think someone’s jealous.” Hyunseoks voice still sounded deep, smooth, calm. He grinned. “I knew I was making you insecure. Which is understandable. We are in very different leagues, Choi Yeonjun.” Yeonjun didn’t answer. Obviously, what are you supposed to answer? How would you answer such a childish statement without sounding childish yourself?

Yeonjun ended up just… exhaling. He clearly wasn’t in a good mood already, and now he just seemed exhausted.

“You don’t hear yourself speak, right?” He pushed his hair back, eyed Hyunseok. “You’re delusional. This isn’t a competition between the two of us. This is about you hitting on my boyfriend, which is a fucking asshole move.”

“But you wouldn’t have to worry about that if you weren’t-”

“I’m not fucking _worried_ . Because I know that he is _mine_.” The tone in Yeonjuns voice had once again changed from soft honey into something deep, raspy, angry. He straightened his back slightly, lifted his chin, and stared directly into Hyunseoks eyes. And then he almost whispered. “And you have no fucking business talking to what’s mine.”

_His_. That made him feel… strange. In a way Taehyun couldn’t quite elaborate on. It was a weird and unknown feeling. He simply pushed it back.

“Oh, _yours_ , I see. Possessive. Is there your name written on him or something? What-”

“Fuck off,” Taehyun blurted out, quite unusual for him to just say like that but he was annoyed by now. He pushed past Hyunseok to finally stand by Yeonjuns side, immediately holding onto his arm. “I _am_ his. And you won’t change that with your empty warnings. Leave us alone.” Hyunseoks jaw slightly dropped.

“Taehyun, I was just trying to help you.”

“You’re no help to me. Get away.”

“Taehyun-”

“I can’t hear you, Hyunseok, I’m so sorry!” Taehyun huffed, then pulled Yeonjuns face a bit closer to plant a single quick kiss on his jawline. As soon as he pulled away, it kind of… hit him. He blinked a few times, but was able to hide his own confusion about himself and that quick action. It felt like it was the right thing to do. To annoy Hyunseok. To finally shut him up. Yeonjun turned his head, looked at Taehyun with big eyes.

“Let’s go,” Taehyun just whispered. “Somewhere without him.” Yeonjun nodded slowly, and Taehyun pulled him away from Hyunseok. He didn’t turn back to catch Hyunseoks reaction, but he honestly didn’t care.

Taehyun didn’t let go of Yeonjuns arm, even after they were out of Hyunseoks sight. He missed that closeness, even though it had just been a day, barely over 24 hours in which he didn’t even dare to touch Yeonjun besides a goodbye hug. He didn’t want- to get too close again. Taehyun quickly pushed that memory back.

“What were you talking about?” Yeonjun asked, and his voice was uncomfortably cold.

“He is stupid. He was- trying to tell me that you’re an asshole and that I should drop you because you’re a heartbreaker and troublemaker and bad for me. He said that you were just going to hurt me. That I should cut you off now before it’s too late and I can’t get out of this relationship anymore.” Taehyun huffed at that thought. How absurd that sounded, please. “He was basically just preaching that you’re shit and purposefully hurt people.”

“But I don’t.” Taehyun was surprised by Yeonjuns quick answer. He had never sounded so… hurt. Almost scared. As if he had to assure Taehyun that he wasn’t a bad person. He was quiet, almost shaky. Taehyun looked up to Yeonjun to be met with a pair of now empty, sad eyes.

“Of course you don’t, I know that.” He tried to give his friend a comforting smile. “He’s dumb. He said I’m his type and that if I get hurt by you that I could come to him and-” He let out a sigh. “What an idiot.”

“He flirted with you. He’s such a- And you think he’s attractive, right? You-”

“Hey, Yeonjun!” Taehyun quickly grabbed Yeonjuns hand. “ _Are_ you jealous?” Yeonjun said nothing for a few seconds, then he huffed, and his expression changed into a tired, almost pained smile.

“There’s be no reason for me to be jealous, right? After all, we’re not-” He hesitated. “You know.”

“I know.” Taehyun sighed, once again. “That was a dumb situation I ran into. He’s a…”

“A bitch. You can say it out loud.”

“He’s a bitch. He’s such a stupid bitch.”

Taehyun now felt Yeonjun holding Taehyuns hand a bit tighter, and his eyes once again dulled. He wasn’t okay, clearly. Taehyun had never seen him like that. So vulnerable.

“Juni? Are you okay?” Yeonjun just sighed in response, turning his head away slightly. Obviously he wasn’t. “Do you want to talk? Or just…” Taehyun didn’t have to finish his sentence.

He let go of Yeonjuns hand and instead wrapped his arms around him as tightly as possible, getting on tip toes just slightly so that Yeonjun could rest hide his face in the crook of his neck somehow. Yeonjuns breath seemed to get shaky and heavier. Was he… crying? Was he going to cry? All these weeks they had been together, Yeonjun had not cried or even seemed sad once. And now? Was he actually crying? And there was nothing really he could do about it?

“Hey… Jun, I’m here for you. Do you want to tell me what happened?” Taehyuns voice softened as he talked to Yeonjun. What a weird situation. But it caused a sting in Taehyuns heart. "You don’t have to talk. But I will listen to you.” Yeonjun didn’t say anything at first, only held onto Taehyun. Then he let go, lifted his head and quickly wiped over his eyes.

So he did cry. Not much, but the thin wet lines on his cheeks were giving it away. Taehyun brought his hand up to Yeonjuns face and carefully wiped away one of these lines with his thumb. How pretty he looked. Even now, with slightly teary, tired eyes. But still, Taehyun wished there was something he could do to take these tears away. If he could just- No.

“If you want to tell me-”

“Yeah. I… I had a bad day. It started off shit, I’m feeling shit, and now I’m just upset and-” Yeonjun seemed to give his best to not look into Taehyuns face. “I’m shit.”

“What? You’re not shit! Yeonjun-”

“No, you don’t- get it. I’m- Soobin got mad at me.”

“For?”

“Well… All of _this_. For not telling him that we were just pretending. And I get it, I-” Yeonjun closed his eyes, maybe to keep more tears from forming in his eyes. “I lied to him all this time and my excuses were complete bullshit and I deserve it, I deserve that he’s mad at me, but… I need him now. And he doesn’t want to talk to me and when I checked, he even fucking blocked my number and- I just… I need somebody right now.”

Taehyuns heart hurt seeing Yeonjun like this. Never had he been so… vulnerable. He prayed that he wouldn’t have to experience this sight, a sad and hurt Yeonjun, ever again because it really pained him.

“But you get that he’s mad?”

“Obviously… I would be mad too, I understand him, and I think I only made it worse when I tried to come up with any excuses. I wanted to justify myself so bad even though I knew I was in the wrong. And knowing that he even blocked me now, it’s- It hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could make it better, Juni.” Taehyun pulled his friend back into a hug. A tight and genuine one, one that could hopefully be comforting.

“You already do. You really do.”

Taehyun smiled. Good. That was really all he wanted right now. We wanted Yeonjun to be better. When all this time it had always been Yeonjun comforting Taehyun, he now wanted to give it back. He couldn’t all repay it, but he could start small. With a tight hug.

God, he was going to miss this. He was going to miss holding Yeonjun so bad. Too bad things had to… end…

But it wasn’t the time to think about that right now. If he could only focus on the present now… Focus on making Yeonjun feel better right at this moment… There was nothing more he could do other than holding him and hugging as tightly as possible, but he could put all his love in, all his energy and hope. If he could only… Let Yeonjun know how much he loved him… Well, that was stupid. Of course he could. He could just tell him.

“Yeonjun?” He waited for Yeonjun to tiredly hum in response. “I love you.” That didn’t feel like it was enough, like it could really convey what Taehyun was feeling, but how else was he supposed to do it? How else were you supposed to show someone that you love them if not through the words ‘I love you’?

“I love you too. I love you so damn much.” Yeonjuns voice became a bit quieter towards the end, and once again shakier.

They stayed like this for a little longer. Maybe for a minute, maybe for five. But it didn’t matter, because time was an illusion anyways whenever Taehyun was close to Yeonjun. And after a while, Taehyun heard Yeonjuns muffled voice again. It was more stable again, which relieved Taehyun immensely.

“I really needed that today.”

“What exactly?”

“You. This. Your warmth.”

So it wasn’t just Taehyun who missed this closeness. How stupid of Taehyun to just not initiate anything anymore in fears of getting- so careless again. In fears of doing something as stupid as… doing _that_ again. Come on, as if he couldn’t control himself… Well he _couldn’t_ , it had happened almost two times, two times of Taehyun suddenly being bold and doing something that didn't make any sense for him to do because it just felt like he couldn’t control his actions, because he couldn’t draw the line between liking to be close to Yeonjun and acting anymore.

It had to stop. The acting had to stop. He had to grow out of this role again, so he could finally better control his actions and thoughts. The breakup was soon. It would take so much pressure away from him. Right now, Taehyun wasn’t looking forward to it, obviously, but once it was happening, once the day was coming, maybe he’d feel relieved. Maybe.

He certainly didn’t feel relieved when Yeonjun let go of him again. It felt more like… emptiness in his arms again.

“You should get home, Taehyunnie. It’s cold.” Taehyun hadn’t even noticed the cold anymore, after having Yeonjuns arms around him and warm body pressed against his own.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll have to be okay. I guess it’s just time to wait and hope that Soobin won’t be mad anymore.” He chuckled, but it was clearly pretty… faked.

“I’m here for you. If you need something, text me.”

“I will.” Yeonjun nodded, tried his best to smile. Taehyun took a quick look around. The school grounds were almost empty again. Well, but it wouldn’t hurt if- Taehyun almost had to get on his tiptoes again to quickly give him a peck on the cheek. He occasionally did that with Kai too, so why not give Yeonjun a small cheek kiss now that he was still able to? Maybe it’d make him feel better. And judging by Yeonjuns wide open eyes and slight smile, it did.

The rest of their goodbye went by quickly. Just another quick hug, smiles and a “see you tomorrow” and “tell me if you need something”. Then they parted ways.

Taehyun sighed. He really met a different side of Yeonjun today. But he had to leave that one behind soon too, like every side of Yeonjun. At least just for a while. Taehyun wasn’t looking forward to it really, but maybe, when the time had come, maybe it’d help him finally separate the role from his real feelings and actions again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAND scene. thank you for reading! It is now starting to get spicy, and when I say spicy, I mean sad.  
> I'm currently not posting on Twitter so this time is you on AO3 who get the new chapters first!
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapters, which I have already finished writing, so it won't take too long for me to post them hopefully <3


	15. Chapter 15

Yeonjun didn’t even know why he went to school today after skipping more than half of his classes anyways. He couldn’t really hang out with Taehyun either since he was studying with Kai for an exam that was coming up just this week. And Beomgyu, well… Yeonjun prefered Beomgyu to spend time with Soobin now. After all, there was a chance of the two of them starting to date for real, and Yeonjun thought that if Beomgyu was around him all the time, maybe Soobin would get mad about it. So Yeonjun only really had the usual clique with him.

They were his friends too, no doubt, but most of them just seemed to be followers of the cool kids. Yeonjun barely had a connection to them. Min, maybe, was closest to him out of all of them. The rest really just felt like… background characters. Once again Yeonjun had to realize how people didn’t really cared about _him_ but about his name instead.

This whole week had been a single shit show and so was this day, with his motorcycle not working and him having to walk to school on this ice cold october morning. He couldn’t even meet Taehyun after school because his classes ended earlier and he didn’t want him to wait. So Yeonjun had to _walk_ back home, alone, and even though the sun had warmed up the earth quite a bit compared to this morning, it was chilly nonetheless.

As he started walking, he tried to fish his phone out of the pockets of his leather jacket. He usually liked walks quite a lot, because at least he could listen to some music while taking in the scenery, even though that scenery around the school and his apartment wasn’t exactly the neatest. He was about to put in his ear plugs when someone called his name.

“Yeonjun!” He pretended like he didn’t hear that much too familiar voice, pretended like he didn’t know the person that was seeming to catch up with him. “Yeonjun, stop walking!”

“What do you want?” He lowered his hands again and slipped the ear plugs back into his pockets, not yet turning around to face the person that approached him.

“Talk.”

“About?”

“Uhm? Everything? Your boyfriend, my brother, _us_?”

“There is-” Yeonjun finally turned around. “-no ‘us’, Hyunji.”

“There very much is an ‘us’. But that’s not the main point right now. I am done with you and all the bullshit you’re pulling, Yeonjun.”

“What? What bullshit? Hyunji, what on earth do you want from me?” His ex girlfriends expression seemed serious now, and not quite angry but like there was something she needed to get off her chest.

“You and your stupid boyfriend are just ruining everything! First you move on so quickly as if I never meant something to you, and with a _boy_ out of all people when you told me you’d never date boys. And then you get all touchy and clingy with him in front of me, my friends, _everyone_ in the school, when you’ve never done that with me like that?”

Damn. Well, that was exactly the plan to begin with, and even though that plan didn’t matter to him at all anymore, Yeonjun was still a bit proud of himself and Taehyun to have succeeded like this.

“And the worst thing,” Hyunji continued, “is that you- You really really like him and _everyone_ knows that and at the beginning I thought you were using him because you _needed_ to be in a relationship with someone. I thought I could just walk around and tell everyone that you’re gonna break up after a week anyways because you don’t love him but- You do-”

Yeonjun furrowed his brows, quite overwhelmed by Hyunjis rant. Funnily enough, she was completely right. Taehyun was nothing but a way to win a petty fight at the beginning, and now he was someone who Yeonjuns happiness depended on.

“And what are you so angry for? That I’m living my best life? That I’m in a happy relationship while you’re still mentally stuck in our long, shitty one?”

“I’m angry that you- I-” Hyunjis voice was high pitched, she almost shrieked. “I’m mad that you’re happy and I’m not. I’m fucking mad that you’re in the right and I’m not!” She sighed, shook her head. “Congratulations that you’re doing great.” Her tone was softer again. “Really, great that you’re okay. But it pisses me off. And the fact that you’re rubbing this oh so great relationship in everyone's faces pisses me off even more. Everyone sees how _amazing_ you’re doing and how boring my life is in comparison.”

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do, Hyunji? Stop loving my boyfriend to you can catch up on life? What do you want from me now?” This conversation already seemed so pointless. Was she just going to cry about how unfairly life was treating her? Yeonjun sighed and crossed his arms.

“I just- I want to know what the fuck I’m doing wrong. Why is everything about, _you_ and your boyfriend?”

“What? You’re obsessed with us, I think that’s it-”

“No, listen to me first,” Hyunji demanded, an almost pleading expression on her face. “It’s not just that you annoy the shit out of me. Even my goddamn brother-” Hold up, what? “Even he is absolutely fixated on Taehyun. And my friends only talk about you, ‘Have you seen Yeonjun with his boyfriend today?’ and ‘Look, there’s your ex!’ and I am sick.”

“Wait, backtrack a bit. What about your brother?” Yeonjun remembered the quite unfriendly chat he and Taehyun had with Hyunseok just two days ago. He knew that he had been flirting with Taehyun, but he never got to know what exactly went down between the two. If Hyunji could provide more info though…

“Yeah, of course you’d want to know that. Hyunseok’s into him. He thinks he’s cute or whatever. Tiny sweet guys have always been his thing I guess.”

“I didn’t know he’s into guys-”

“You’re not the only bi person, Yeonjun.” Hyunji sighed in slight annoyance. “He won’t shut up and I’m honestly so done how everything in my life is just about you and him when I’m trying my _fucking_ best to move on. But no, even my own fucking _brother_ wants to talk about your stupid relationship and how he wants to be the hero in shining armour so bad and protect sweet innocent little Taehyun from the big bad Yeonjun before he gets hurt, so maybe Taehyun will be forever thankful and be his new lover. And I’m sick of it. I don’t want to hear it anymore, I want you out of my fucking life.” Hyunji was upset without a doubt, but strangely enough, her voice now wasn’t as hysterical as Yeonjun knew it to be. It was angry, definitely, but not as… annoying? Which was honestly pleasant. It made her seem more serious. And it was much easier to listen to her like this. “I don’t care for your bullshit life anymore but everyone else around me does. I can’t escape this shit anymore. Everything is always about Yeonjun, Yeonjun, Yeonjun. Choi Yeonjun. You’re the center of this entire earth it feels like. And back then I didn’t care because I was the center _with_ you and now I’m being forgotten because I’m still miserable and alone while you’re in a scandalous gay relationship and beat up assholes in front of everyone.”

Hyunji lowered her head, as if it was an indicator that she was finished with rambling. Damn. It wasn’t like Yeonjun really cared about her feelings anymore, but that was a lot to take in nonetheless. So it weren’t the hurt feelings, the broken heart that was troubling her after their breakup. Of course, that hadn’t bothered Yeonjun either, at least it hadn't when they officially broke up. The ‘heartbreak’ had happened much earlier, when he fell out of love.

The issue for Hyunji right now was much rather the status as queen bee, bad bitch, she was slowly losing right now while Yeonjuns image was only shining bright, being the focus of attention. It was jealousy. It was the need to be in the center, to have everyone talking about you. But barely anyone cared for her anymore, no, instead it was Yeonjun who everyone was talking about.

And as stupid as it sounded, Yeonjun really got it. He understood to be honest. The two had always been _that_ couple even though their relationship was barely functional anymore. And now, Hyunji almost was a nobody anymore, because there was someone more interesting taking her spot. She lost her importance. And that was exactly what Yeonjun feared would happen to him if he didn’t find someone to move on with.

The entire plan was to win this race of trying to not be forgotten, and Yeonjun had won it now. Hyunji was only reacting as expected, hurt and insecure about her social status in this shithole of a school. If it would have happened the other way around, Yeonjun would have reacted the same. Her ego and pride was hurt by Yeonjun finding someone new this quickly, just like her telling Yeonjun that he would be a nobody without her was hurting his ego.

And she couldn’t even move on from Yeonjuns success because he was _everywhere_. And now even her brother was invested in this relationship, nearly obsessing over the pretty new boyfriend that pushed Yeonjun back into the center of attention, so it was even harder to escape all of this. He got it. He wasn’t sorry for her in any way, but he understood her.

“But…” After a bit of silence, Hyunji raised her head again, looking at Yeonjun with the usual resting bitch face. “I’m gonna be out of here anyways. And you won’t have to bother me anymore, Taehyun won’t bother, Hyunseok won’t bother. I’ll be leaving this bitch ass city in a few month. I’m moving away, and until then I’ll have everyone blocked and all the numbers will be deleted and all our pictures are burned. By January I’m out of here. And I will not give a single fuck about you anymore. Hell, I don’t give a fuck about you anymore right _now_! Go be happy with your boyfriend, I’m moving on.” Now that was quite inspiring.

“Wait. January? You’re moving to another city? Alone? Bro, we are graduating this year, what about school?” No, Yeonjun didn’t want to have small talk with Hyunji now, actually he really wanted home because he was freezing his ass off, but that _did_ make him curious now.

“Restarting this year again in another city. Come on. I wouldn’t have made it anyways, you know my grades.” Just a tiny grin appeared on her face that made Yeonjun remember that he _was_ friends with her once and that they _did_ get along not too long ago. Hyunji was a bitch. But not a monster. And Yeonjun had good times with her, even though they were almost overshadowed by their petty fights and emotionless relationship towards the end. And he did indeed know quite a lot about her. Her terrible grades for example.

“So… a reset, huh?”

“Yeah. And my parents will never find out about the bullshit I pulled here. With you, mostly.”

“Like demolishing the headmasters car.”

“Can’t believe they never found out it was us.” Hyunji chuckled. For the first time in maybe three months she seemed to genuinely be amused by Yeonjun, or at least the memories of her and Yeonjun.

“You’re gonna turn into a picture perfect student in your new city?”

“Hell no. My dad can’t watch over me anymore, I’ll go crazy. But I’ll try not to fuck up my future. Gonna be educated so I can get myself out of trouble when I fuck shit up. Learn about my rights and shit.”

“Your dad’s a cop, you should know that they don’t give a shit about your rights.” Yeonjun furrowed his brows. Man, when the two weren’t two petty exes, Hyunji wasn’t so bad to talk to.

“Hey, being educated won’t hurt. Maybe ask your friends to look into it too, doesn’t one of your friends literally have a criminal record?”

“Only for small bullshit that doesn’t even matter, really-”

“Didn’t Beomgyu spit on my dad once?”

“He sure did! And he’d do it again!”

“Yikes. But I wouldn’t stop him.” Hyunji wasn’t directly looking happy, but much more relaxed. Just a few minutes ago she was going off at Yeonjun and now her mood changed so quickly, talking to Yeonjun as if they were completely chill… Well, Yeonjun assumed that this would probably their last conversation, given that Hyunji was ready to completely ignore him from now on and wouldn’t even live here anymore in maybe two months. She also was a master at switching moods in the matter of seconds, even though it usually went from chill to angry and not the other way around.

“So…” Yeonjun put his freezing hands back into his pockets. “You’re leaving Hyunseok here too? I thought you two were close?”

“We are. It’s not like I’m never gonna speak to him. But as long as he tries to be a white knight for your boyfriend, I’d rather stay away from him for a bit.”

“What’s his business with Taehyun? Am I that bad?”

“I think he interpreted my… well, heartbreak a bit wrong and now assumes that you're gonna hurt everyones feelings. He’s a protector. If he thinks someone does evil, he’s gonna ‘warn’ everyone that stands in contact to them.” And now, Hyunji looked embarrassed.

“Did I really hurt you that much? During the relationship?” Hyunji first shrugged, then shook her head after seemingly thinking for a while.

“I mean it was my longest relationship ever. I guess it did hurt when things between us changed.”

“It hurt me too. Falling out of love I guess.”

“If you could ever really call that ‘Love’ and not a very glorified crush.”

“That’s pretty much exactly what I was thinking later on.” And now these two were really using that temporary peace between them to sort out their unspoken relationship issues? After months of just staying together for popularities sake? Wow, that’s what Yeonjun would call ‘growth’. “I don’t think we ever were right for eachother.”

“Well in other people's eyes, we were. We were a badass couple, but that shit was destined to fail when-” Yeah, when exactly? Yeonjun remembered it to be about their fourth or fifth month together when he admitted to himself that stuff was different. Not right.

“When I lost interest in you as… a partner I guess?”

“To be honest, my interest in you as a partner was never particularly high.” Hyunji snorted. “I really think it was a crush I forced myself into more because I knew I had a chance with you and I didn’t want that to go to waste.”

“That’s what I had feared.” Yeonjun only shrugged. “In all honesty, I think I really liked you. I was definitely crushing on you. But I now know that that was _not_ real love. I mean, I assumed it was back then because shockingly, you were my first girlfriend and I didn’t know the difference between ‘She’s cute’ and ‘I am in love’.”

“But you do now, right?” How oddly soft Hyunji sounded now. “You know how real love feels like? Because of Taehyun?” Yeonjun smiled. She got it. She really got it, she believed what she saw, she believed that Yeonjun was in love with Taehyun. And it was the truth. By now, it was the complete truth. Yeonjun knew now how it felt to love someone so dearly, and to wish to always be by someone's side.

“You got it.”

“ _Man_!” Now Hyunji only groaned. “I just fed into my own jealousy. Fuck that, I’m supposed to never hear that stupid name again!” She shook her head, crossed her arms, and got back to her trusty ‘I don’t give a shit’ face, yet her features seemed to be just the slightest bit more gentle. “I’m getting cold as fuck so I guess it’s time to end this little tea party. I have more important things to do than to chat with my ex out in the cold for hours.” Yeonjun just nodded.

“Same. But honestly, I’m glad we- talked? Like for real, I expected you to whine all day and then throw insults at me and maybe end up kicking me or something.”

“Didn’t mean to spill my feelings but at least I got it off my chest. We’re still exes though, I still can’t stand you and I still don’t want to talk to you ever again and have your stupid relationship rubbed into my face every second of my day. It’s just that now, I don’t give a shit about whatever you do.”

“Good for you, good for you. And I still think you’re a bitch. Terribly annoying and noisy too.”

“Yep!” Hyunji flipped her long silky hair over her shoulder. “That’s me. I’m _that_ annoying and noisy bitch. But at least I’m hot.”

“But your dad is a cop so that makes you automatically less attractive.”

“And your dad is a literal criminal?”

“Yo, just stole some small stuff! Also rather be the son of a thief than the daughter of a pig!” Hyunji just huffed, shook her head.

“Can’t even disagree with you anymore. Whatever. See y- No, actually I hope I’ll never see you again. Now get away. I’ve looked at you for too long for today.”

“Oh, I’ll get away!” Yeonjun already started pulling out his headphones. “I’ve talked enough to you for the rest of my life!”

“Get home unsafely, then, I hope you fall on your face!” Hyunji winked more or less clumsy. And Yeonjun ended up doing the same, probably looking even more stupid than her.

“Hope you’ll break a nail or two!” Yeonjun was about to finally listen to some music and start his walk home when Hyunji spoke up one last time.

“And good luck with you and Taehyun.” She sounded serious, though a little ashamed judging by her rather quiet voice.

“Good luck with your move and school and shit I guess.” Yeonjun grinned at her, knowing that it would probably be the last time. “Still hope you break off a nail though.” In response, she only held up her middle finger, and finally, after a rather unusual talk, turned around to make her way home.

Hyunji was dumb. She was annoying, noisy, lowkey egoistic and self centered, sometimes she was fake as fuck and she usually cared more about her reputation than about anything else. But, she wasn’t an awful person. Not at all. After all, Yeonjun _did_ have slight feelings for her at some point. They just went away too quickly when they were kind of forced to be around each other all day, and Yeonjun realized that his feelings weren’t genuine and these two just weren’t compatible.

They weren’t meant for eachother. That should have been a quick, not too serious relationship. But it was the pressure of being the perfect couple everyone feared that kept them together and ruined a friendship that could have otherwise worked out quite okay. But they stayed together, and ended up hurting their fragile egos too much, resulting into this weird and petty competition. And that competition was the reason for the whole act him and Taehyun had now built. All just to piss off Hyunji. And it had worked perfectly.

The plan had worked out. And now, there was no need for it anymore, because it did what it had to do. So Yeonjun and Taehyun had to do the very thing Yeonjun had feared the most for the past two weeks or so.

They had to go back to reality.

Now Yeonjun was just laying on his newly bought bed in his apartment, staring at the ceiling. His phone was in his hands, ready to open the chat with Taehyun and tell him that it was done. But Yeonjun didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to turn on his phone, and he didn’t want to basically… give his ‘okay’ to the breakup. Because how the _fuck_ was Yeonjun supposed to go on without Taehyun?

Maybe if he didn’t say anything, Taehyun would forget. And then they could be together. Yeonjun sighed. Nope, he fucked up now. He couldn’t prevent this stupid thing from happening anymore and it started to hurt him so bad. Their whole relationship had been so bittersweet.

Yeonjun cherished every second with Taehyun. Every kiss they shared only caused the most beautiful feelings to bloom, and every time they separated again, Yeonjun was left feeling empty. Longing for more. But knowing that he couldn’t get more. And now…

Yeonjun wanted to scream. This frustrated him so much, what was he supposed to do? How could he stop this relationship from ending, how could he make it _real_? He couldn’t. He couldn’t do that.

His arm felt heavy as Yeonjun lifted them up to look at his phone. He unlocked it, just to be greeted by that one picture they had taken together when he slept at Taehyuns place for the first time. He looked like a doll, with fluffy hair and tired eyes. The prettiest boy Yeonjun had ever seen. He wanted to look at his home screen for a little while longer, really, but he had to… text him. And tell him. He opened the chat. And almost in slow motion, he dragged his fingers over the keyboard, typing out his message.

He hesitated. Should he send it? Or should he just follow the plan of not saying anything and hope that they’d just stay a couple? Yeonjun sighed one last time, closed his eyes, and pressed ‘send’. 

_**Taehyunnie** _

_ hi just wanted to let you know that i just talked to hyunji and she completely ate our story up. she moved on and doesnt give a shit about us anymore so id say this whole thing was a success?? like she really said all the stuff i was hoping shed say at the end of this _

_ you talked to her? _

_ oh yeah we kinda met after school and she started ranting _

_ but we had quite a good talk after _

_ she even wished us good luck _

_ kindaaa sweet _

_ oh that’s really sweet of her! _

_ its not like were good again tho _

_ she pretty much said that shes sick of me _

_ and of you?? _

_ and that shes actually moving away in like two months so it doenst matter anymore _

_ and she wants to move on _

_ oooh I see _

_ so? our main target is down? _

_ yup _

_ we did it _

_ oh wait _

_ so we basically did everything we wanted _

_ we’re like… “done”? _

_ with dating I mean _

Yeonjun stopped breathing for a brief second. Yeah, they were done. Got to do everything they wanted, achieved their goals. And it pained Yeonjun to continue texting.

_ yeah _

_ i guess _

_ were done _

_ so… _

_ break up next week? _

_ yea _

_ okay, nice _

_ let’s talk about all the details some other time because I’m tired _

_ we can “officially” end it on the weekend or something _

_ let’s still continue this week? _

_ ok _

_ lets do that _

Let’s not do that. Please, let’s not do that, let’s stay together, let’s fall in love. Yeonjun stared at his phone, his own messages he had send himself, which was hardly believable because there was nothing more he wanted than to _not_ end this cursed relationship. He wished he could take back these dumb texts, just delete them. And never talk to Taehyun about this again.

He let his phone fall on his chest, which ended up being more painful than he thought, but his chest was hurting this whole time already so did it really matter? Yeonjuns eyes now felt tired, heavy, he could barely keep them open. Nothing felt real right now. The messages he just send, and the answers he received, they didn’t feel real. And Yeonjun _wished_ that they weren’t.

He rolled on his side and unlocked his phone once again, this time opening his messenger app as fast as possible so that he wouldn’t have to look at his home screen for too long. Now he opened another chat. He had to talk. He had to talk to _someone_ , just ask for help, or even just comfort. And there really only were two people who knew about everything, one of them having him blocked though. So one left. Beomgyu.

_**Choi Bitchgyu** _

_ beom _

_ im in trouble _

_ omg what did you do _

_ okay long story _

_ i met hyunji after school _

_ omg did you punch her _

_ and we kin _

_ what _

_ no??? _

_ oh _

_ we kinda talked about things and _

_ well i told taehyun about it _

_ and we came to conclusion that we can basically break up now _

_ itll be over officially next week _

_ what _

_ yeonjun are you fucking dumb _

_ who the fuck shit into your head _

_ youre literally the dumbest fucking person ive ever met _

_ wow thats really the support i need right now beomgyu !!! _

_ sorry _

_ sorry but _

_ what the fuck _

_ you cant just break up _

_ we can and were gonna do it _

_ and you just let it happen? _

_ do you think i want that to happen?? _

_ do you think im happily awaiting the breakup with the boy i LOVE? _

_ no but i cant DO anything to stop it _

_ a month is over and we reached all the goals weve set _

_ and our deal is ending and we are breaking up _

_ what am i supposed to do about it? _

_ how am i supposed to STOP it?? _

_ its my fault for choosing him and then _

_ falling in love _

_ with this perfect fucking human being _

_ yeonjun _

_ but theres nothing i can change _

_ i can just sit here and _

_ feel empty _

_ because i need him and i WANT him but i cant have him _

_ so ill just watch him go _

_ yeonjun you need to fucking tell him _

_ and get heartbroken? _

_ sure _

_ you already are heartbroken tho _

_ and if you just let him go like that itll only get worse _

_ confess _

_ tell him now _

_ i cant _

_ but you have to _

_ come on _

_ if you say it now everything will be so much easier for you _

_ im gonna fuck it up gyu _

_ you know how youre gonna fuck up _

_ if you let him go _

_ if you break up with him _

_ THEN you fucked up _

_ if you tell him you at least tried your best _

_ come on now do it _

_..okay _

_ ill try _

_ ill try okay _

  
  


He didn’t want to try, he didn’t even have the energy to try, and especially not the courage. But what if Beomgyu was right? If he said it, maybe he’d at least feel better? He closed the chat with Beomguy to open Taehyuns instead. What was he supposed to say?

‘I love you.’

His fingers started shaking, sweating, he could barely hold onto his phone anymore. He started typing. Something, anything, a small paragraph filled with bullshit, ‘I don’t know how to say it’ and ‘I can’t explain how it happened’. And as the text got longer, Yeonjuns heart started beating faster, to the point that it hurt so much he wasn’t sure if he would still be able to breathe.

He didn’t even manage to get to the actual confession when he stopped typing, staring at this stupidly long explanation about how dumb he felt. He closed his eyes. They were burning. Then he deleted the entire text again. How pathetic to type out this long confession, well he’d rather call it an essay. Then he started typing again. A short message.

  
  


_**Taehyunnie** _

_ taehyun? _

_ i want to tell you something _

_ oh? _

_ are you alright? _

Yeonjun hesitated to answer. Of course he wasn’t. Not in the slightest. But he chose to lie.

_ yeah _

_ but _

His hands started shaking once again. Say it now. Say it now or never. Get it off your chest now, say it, and-

Memories of Taehyun flashed through his mind. Taehyun constantly referring to the breakup, and talking about it like it was no big deal. Him saying all these things of ‘When I really fall in love…’ and ‘When I have a real boyfriend’. Taehyun kissing him. Then pulling away and apologizing and looking embarrassed and shocked and nearly ashamed.

Say it now and get rejected. Say it now and get hurt by him. Say it now and make these last two days the two could spend together just awkward and painful.

_ never mind _

_ forget it _

_ ill see you tomorrow _

Yeonjun didn’t wait for an answer, just put his phone down, exhaled. Then he rolled on his stomach, and finally buried his burning face in the blanket, grabbing onto it like he was about to rip it.

Yeonjun didn’t cry. He was too exhausted to cry. But he stopped moving. Fuck this. Fuck Taehyun and fuck love and fuck all of this goddamn deal, fuck these feelings and fears. Yeonjun felt like he was tearing apart already, and reality hadn’t even hit him yet. Right now, they were still together. For just two or three more days. And then he’d completely be ripped out of this lie he had been living for a month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things start to get painful now


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi before we start please. PLEASE just stop stealing my stuff. come on yall. write your own stories, and dont copy other peoples hard work :,) cant believe I have to say that again

Taehyun was going to be free again. There was no more role that manipulated his feelings and thoughts. No character that was taking over him to the point that he couldn’t even control his actions properly. Taehyun would be himself again. The only thing that was keeping him from finally breaking out of this role was Yeonjun, who hadn’t replied to his text for two hours now.

Usually Yeonjun was the person to answer in the matter of minutes, even in the middle of the night. But today it took him longer than usual. Not that his reply was needed urgently, but he’d be quite thankful if all of this could still be sorted out today. They still had to discuss how to act in school on monday, whether they’d tell their friends or not, and when they could try to get closer again without looking suspicious. And then, their breakup would be official.

Honestly, Taehyun thought that he’d be prouder of himself after this. He thought that he would be super impressed by his own acting skills. He thought that he’d leave this relationship with a boosted ego and plenty of new experience as an actor. Instead, he felt- weird. Confused, one could say, and almost scared. Scared of… his own power? And the fact that he was fusing so well with that role that he- had many quite questionable thoughts. If this relationship ended, Taehyuns desire to kiss this boy would come to an end though.

When Yeonjun finally replied to him, his answer was quite short. Maybe he was tired.

**_Jun_ **

_ we should talk about monday, right? _

_ like how are we going to act if we run into each other and all that _

_ right _

  
  


_ okay _

_ should we just ignore each other? Maybe we won’t even run into each other but if we do, I’ll just ignore you? Or should I like stare at you angrily? _

_ oh no _

_ just ignore _

_ just ignore, alright _

_ what are you going to tell your friends though? Not sure if I should tell Kai directly _

_ lets wait with telling people _

_ so it doesnt like _

_ blow up completely _

_ yeah, makes sense _

_ if someone asks just try to answer shortly! _

_ like it’s no big deal _

_ do you think I should tell Kai? _

_ i mean _

_ if you want _

_ i dont think hed talk about it to other people much right _

_ yup _

_ oh man he’s gonna be so sad- _

_ but okay, okay _

_ maybe I’ll tell him tomorrow _

_ OH also! _

_ when can we hang out again? _

_ because we shouldn’t meet up any time soon again :/ _

_ that might be weird if we’re still besties after our breakup _

_ i dont know _

_ but lets not wait too long pls _

_ im gonna miss you _

_ I’ll miss you too _

_ I mean it’s not like we can’t communicate at all, right? _

_ you can always just text me _

_ thats not the same is it _

_ I know it’s not _

_ it’s your touch I’m going to miss _

_ I mean like _

_ your closeness you knwo _

_ ill miss having you in my arms _

_ and ill miss showing everyone that we belong together _

_ I’ll miss being your strawberry boy _

_ hey _

_ youll always be that _

_ give them 2 months until we become “friends” again? _

_ 2 months??? _

_ how am i gonna survive that? _

_ I mean _

_ I could still try sneak into your apartment, that’s not the problem! _

_ let’s not act like forbidden lovers :D _

_ we’ve acted enough I’d say _

_ right _

_ if someone asks who broke up though, what are we saying? _

_ did we agree to anything in the beginning? _

_ you said I could break up _

_ so people don’t start making fun of me for getting dumped by you _

_ alright _

_ its you then _

_ okay _

_ soo _

_ then we’re making it official? _

_ yeah _

_ okay _

_ thank you for this past month _

_ I found a great friend in you, Jun _

_ I guess… _

_ I’m breaking up _

It was supposed to be freeing. It was supposed to make Taehyuns chest feel lighter. It was supposed to finally separate Taehyun from the role he had put on this month. But he only stared at his screen in disbelief. His chest tightened, instead of getting its weight lifted. Maybe he needed time. Maybe he had to… fully remind himself of his true feelings and thoughts again. Maybe he still was stuck in the boyfriend mindset. And maybe that was why it had felt so wrong to send that message. Like he didn’t want to break up yet. Maybe the part of him that was in ‘love’ with Yeonjun wanted to be in this relationship for a bit longer. But that part wasn’t real, it had never been real. It wasn’t  _ Taehyun _ .

Yeonjun had read the message. But he didn’t reply. Well, how are you going to respond to a “I’m breaking up”? Are you supposed to just, smile and nod? Fake breakup or not, there was nothing more to add. And yet, Taehyun wished that maybe Yeonjun would still answer and talk to him for just a little while.

Taehyun wasn’t free just yet. But he was tired. It was early in the evening, but his lids suddenly felt heavy. Maybe after some sleep, he would- be able to think freely again. Maybe he needed some time for reality to finally hit so that his brain would finally stop connecting everything good and comforting with Yeonjun.

Taehyun sighed, sounding hoarse as his throat started to dry up for some reason. It would probably simply take him a while to… not feel like he just did something horrible.

Because Taehyun had said many dramatic things before, including breakups, due to his participation in all kinds of stage dramas. But never had anything ever felt so wrong like this simple “I’m breaking up”. Never had something actually hurt him.

But it was going to be okay, right? It felt wrong now. But when he was fully himself again… he’d finally feel that freedom again. He’d realize it soon. It was okay to break up. Nothing of it had ever been real anyways. There were no feelings hurt. It was an act.

Taehyun had never been in love with Yeonjun.

  
  
  


_ I’m breaking up _

Yeonjun looked at his phone, the chat, the messages Taehyun had sent. He stared at it, rereading that one sentence over and over until he couldn’t anymore, simply because his vision started to blur. Words and letters turned into scribbly lines. And yet his gaze was still fixed on the screen even after it had turned black already.

It had always felt like there might still be hope. Up until this point, there was the tiniest bit of hope that maybe, Taehyun would stop in the last second, turn everything around and say “I love you”.

But instead he had said “I’m breaking up”. Yeonjun let go of his phone.

And now something in him finally cracked. Something that was barely holding together these past two weeks was now cracking, and- fell apart. Yeonjun fell apart. He didn’t know why it took him so long, but it happened  _ now _ . As if every second of fear leading up to this moment had piled up and now… hit.

It crashed down on him like a wave, drowning him, taking his breath away, made him lose control over his body as he tried to save himself from this ocean of… realisation. An unbearable pain took over his heart, one he had never, ever experienced before. It wasn’t a sting anymore. It wasn’t like a stab, like someone was penetrating his heart with a needle, or blade.

It was- breaking. It had broken, was shattered into sharp little pieces. And when he tried to exhale, he instead let out a pained sob. Then one more, and another one, until he was curled up on his bed, crying out loudly about something he knew was going to happen for a month. And he knew it was going to hurt, but god, he didn’t know it would be this insufferable.

All this time Yeonjun still had this last bit of hope. But  _ now _ he was back in reality and  _ now _ he had to face that nothing he had wished for would ever happen because  _ he _ was in love with a boy that saw nothing more in him than a  _ friend _ and an  _ actor _ . The knowledge that him and Taehyun would never be more than friends and fake ex lovers was crumbling the last shards left of his heart.

And everytime Yeonjun thought he had cried enough, it came back. Made him sob out loud once again. And he felt like it was never ending. The time was passing but Yeonjun didn’t know if it passed quickly or not. He didn’t know if it took minutes or hours of crying, almost  _ weeping _ , until he finally grew too exhausted to go on and instead just laid on his bed. But he couldn’t fall asleep. Not yet at least, because even though his entire body felt like it was about to rip apart, his mind kept him up.

Taehyun wasn’t his anymore. He never was in the first place. And he’ll never be.


	17. Chapter 17

‘Can we talk?’

With that message, Yeonjun had invited Taehyun over to his apartment. It was hard for him to even send the text without starting to shake, tear up. And now that Taehyun told him that he was on his way, he was barely able to even catch a breath because the anxiety was pressing against his chest, and the sharp shattered pieces of his heart were still scratching him up from the inside.

He could only pray that he didn’t start crying again. Not in front of Taehyun. Not again. He had cried a bit exactly a week ago, on monday, after his stupid argument with Soobin. And when Taehyun held him in his arms he couldn’t help but- to just let it out. Just a few tears, silent ones. Taehyun probably expected these tear to be shed about Soobin when in reality, they also were partly because of Taehyun himself. Because his embrace felt so safe, and Yeonjun knew that he’d lose that safety soon. And now he  _ had  _ lost it.

He spent the rest of his Saturday crying, and then, after what felt like hours, fell asleep on a tear stained pillow just to wake up again at 4 in the morning. He felt almost paralyzed when he woke up, eyes still heavy, hurting, but the memories of the past evening hadn’t yet hit him. And it took him a while to remember. To feel his chest ripping apart again and his throat dry up. But he had been too tired to cry again. So he simply didn’t move at all. He didn’t eat either, constantly feeling like he was about to throw up. Only when he started to feel dehydrated he forced himself to get up to get a water- then a beer. And he felt pathetic for just sitting there and rotting while drowning in sorrow over a broken heart, acting as if Taehyun would never speak to him again when they were still friends and in just two months or so, they could spend time together like normal friends.

But obviously that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be with Taehyun. In a way different from friendship. He wanted to be able to truly love him, with his whole heart, no, his whole being. And all that without hiding behind an excuse like “it’s just acting”. It wasn’t fair to Taehyun either. It wasn’t fair to him when every kiss was just an act for him, when for Yeonjun, it was real.

Taehyun deserved to know. He deserved to know that all of this was fucking with Yeonjun so badly, and he deserved to know that he was loved so dearly. And at the same time, Yeonjun had the right to know what Taehyun felt because- Taehyun didn’t love him. Yeonjun knew that, but he wanted to know what the fuck he was thinking when they kissed.

So he asked him to come over today, after Beomgyu practically had bombarded Yeonjun with messages. Surprisingly, not even half of these messages consisted of ‘You’re fucking dumb’, but rather were they trying to comfort him, and most importantly, they encouraged Yeonjun to actually reach out to Taehyun. Beomgyu had been right all this time, if could just  _ tell _ Taehyun, maybe things would get better- Maybe Yeonjun would at least  _ feel _ freed.

And now he was going to tell him. Or at least try, hoping to not get crushed by simply the sight of this perfect boy he wanted but couldn’t have.

Yeonjun opened the door, not daring to look up at Taehyuns face but instead keeping his gaze fixed on the ground.

“Jun?” Instead of a happy greeting, he was met with a worried voice instead. Just hearing him speak to him again calmed Yeonjun down immensely, but at the same time, it worsened the pain in his chest. “Are you okay?”

‘No,’ Yeonjun thought, but chose to not answer instead. “Come in.” He hadn’t realized how hoarse his voice was. He finally lifted his head to look at Taehyun, who didn’t move like he was asked to but instead stared at him with his big, beautiful sparkling eyes and furrowed brows.

“Yeonjun-” He looked hurt. And Yeonjun felt the pressure in his chest only grow stronger. “Okay…” Taehyun finally stepped in after softly sighing, quickly looking around the apartment. He looked quite surprised. “You said you didn’t have much furniture before? It’s nice in here.”

“Thanks.” Yeonjun pushed his hair back, just now noticing how messy and fucked up it probably looked. “Sit down if you want to.” He nodded into the direction of the admittedly old but still very comfortable sofa he had gotten second hand, and Taehyun took a seat, albeit a bit hesitant. Yeonjun sat down on the armrest, creating quite some space between them, but he just didn’t dare to sit too close to him, scared of making it miss Taehyun even more. Because they were so far away now. They may have been in the same room, but- They were distant.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyuns voice was soft. A healing voice, and a killing one at the same time. “Can I help you with anything?”

He couldn’t. There was no realistic way for him to help, other than listen now in the hopes that maybe just confessing it would ease the pain a bit.

“I’ve got a lot to say,” Yeonjun whispered, his voice raspy as if he had just woken up. “I don’t know-” He started playing with his hands. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Take your time.” He didn’t have time though. He wanted to get done with it. “Start with the beginning of everything you want to talk about. Like chronologically?”

“In that case- Let’s start with four weeks ago. When we first met.”

“What?” Besides worry, Taehyuns face now showed confusion.

“When I looked at you and thought that you’d be a good fake boyfriend. And then let’s move forward a few days and we kissed for the first time. A few more days later, you stared at other guys and I got jealous for some reason. And in the next week, when we kissed again. And then I slept at your place and played with your hair and held your hands and watched you fall asleep in my arms. When I got into a fight because I wanted to keep you save and I couldn’t bear to hear people speak badly about you. When I dyed your hair and you got excited and I watched you smile so brightly because you liked the colour so much. When I woke up next to you because you picked me up from that party. When you kissed me and your lips felt like home. I-” There he was. He was about to say it, to tell him what he did to him.

“Yeonjun? What are you-”

“I love you, Taehyun. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Taehyun didn’t answer for a moment. Instead, he only had his head lowered, as if he was thinking. Then he raised his voice ever so slightly, sounding shaky.

“You can’t.”

“But I do.”

“It wasn’t real though.”

“And that’s why it hurts.”

Again, no answer.

“It’s stupid, because,” Yeonjun continued, “I couldn’t fall  _ out _ of love. Because I was close to you all the time, I was with you the whole day, sometimes the whole night, and the more I got to know about you, the more I fell for you. You have no flaws, nothing that could make me love you less.”

“Yeonjun-” Taehyun took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Maybe you’re imagining it. Maybe this whole acting thing got to you so much that you  _ think  _ you like me when you actually don’t. Maybe you’ll understand your feelings when you have some time now after this breakup-”

“I don’t think it’s gonna work like that. I love you. I know that I do. Breaking up wouldn’t hurt as much otherwise.”

“But I don’t- I’m so sorry but I don’t- love you in that way.”

He knew. He knew he didn’t. He had known it all this time but hearing it now was like a shot in the heart. And Yeonjun was about to bleed out.

“But the way you acted made it stronger. Made it feel like it was okay to love you. The way you flirted and talked about kissing me and the way you touched and held me. You always treated me like you loved me like  _ that _ . And it gave me hope, just the tiniest bit, I’ll admit it.”

“You know it was all acted.”

“All of it?”

“Well-” Taehyun hesitated. “Yes...”

“When you kissed me?” Yeonjuns tone had suddenly changed, it sounded much more stable, and he was quite surprised by himself.

“We kissed to fool people, Yeonjun.”

“And when we were alone? When no one was around? When  _ you _ went in for a kiss, and such a beautiful one at that, when we were alone in your room? Who were you trying to fool, Taehyun? Me?” Now Taehyuns eyes were wide open, shocked, and guilty.

“No! Yeonjun, I told you I didn’t- I didn’t mean to do it, it just happened!”

“You don’t just kiss someone like this and then say you didn’t mean to. I just want to know what you were thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking  _ anything _ , that’s the point! I just did it because I- I thought- I don’t know, it was stupid to do, it was dumb, and I am dumb for doing it and-” Taehyuns voice broke for a brief moment and he sighed weakly.

“And you didn't enjoy it?”

“I-” Taehyun got up, not looking at Yeonjun. “I always did. But I don’t- I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t love you. I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this. But- I promise you, someone will love you. But I can’t be that someone.” Yeonjun looked at him with a blank expression. “Should I... leave?”

“Yes, please,” Yeonjun whispered, barely able to hold back his tears now.

“...Okay.” Yeonjun got up too, even though his legs were just barely supporting him anymore. He opened the door, stepped aside to let Taehyun leave. He stopped at the door frame. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun. I- I’m sorry...” And he left. Yeonjun closed the door. He was gone.

Taehyun was gone. He had just let him go.

And Yeonjuns legs gave in. His entire frame broke down and he fell on his knees as if the weight of the world has just pushed him to the ground, burying his face in his hands and letting out crushing sobs. He knew it. He knew it would happen all this time, he was well aware that Taehyun didn’t share his feelings and that they’d break up and he’d leave, but why did it hurt so much, and paralyze his whole body and put him into a kind of pain that seemed impossible to heal? Why did he think that confessing would ease that pain when it did the exact opposite? These words, ‘I don’t love you’, were now straight up ripping his chest open, and leaving him there to bleed.

Nothing felt real anymore. Much rather like a fever dream. Yeonjun prayed that it was one. A terrible dream, a fucking nightmare. And he’d wake up next to Taehyun. Open his eyes to the most precious boy in the world smiling at him and telling him that he loved him.

He needed Taehyun. But he had just let him go.

When Yeonjun woke up, he was laying on his sofa. He didn’t remember how he got here really, but he assumed that he somehow moved here with the last bit of strength he had left before falling asleep from exhaustion again. His head was buzzing, his throat was dry, his stomach ached, and his body was chained to the sofa, all the weight resting on his heart. It felt heavy, forcing him to not move, and preventing him from lifting his torso, getting into an upright position. He just chose to rest instead, pressure pressing against his entire body.

Just staring at the white blank ceiling, waiting for something to happen, or for everything to end. Thinking about everything but in the end about nothing really, while Taehyuns voice was echoing back and forth in his head. Until the cycle was broken, interrupted by a knock on his front door. Yeonjuns head bolted up, staring at the door, not sure if he just dreamed or if there was someone. A few more seconds went by, then another knock, followed by a muffled voice.

"Yeonjun?" Someone calling out his name… a familiar voice at that, a voice that made his heart beat a bit faster. And yet, he couldn't get up, nor could he answer. Until he heard a key turn in the lock, and the door practically flew open. And Yeonjuns tired eyes teared up once again.

He was met with a pair of well known eyes, eyes he had found comfort in before. Yeonjun tried to take a deep breath, to finally say something.

"I'm sorry," was all he managed to get out, before the boy in the door frame rushed forward and almost threw himself onto Yeonjun, holding him so tightly, almost breaking Yeonjuns frame but at the same time giving him so much comfort.

"Don't say sorry now, Jun," the boys deep smooth voice said, and Yeonjun wrapped his arms around his body like he's done so many times before. "That's not the problem now. I'm here to make you feel a bit better, okay?"

"Okay-" At least Yeonjun had him back now. At least Soobin was back.

It took a few minutes of Yeonjun nearly being crushed by the weight of Soobins body and tight hug until someone else came through the door Soobin had left open in a hurry to hold Yeonjun. This time Beomgyu was peeking through the door, a tired smile on his lips and a plastic bag in his hand.

While he was alone with Soobin, Yeonjun had really given his best to not break down in tears again, but now that he had his two very best friends around him, knowing they'd spend comfort, what was stopping him? After all, Soobin and Beomgyu were here to hug him and hold him and dry his tears.

Another half an hour later and Yeonjun had finally managed to drag himself out of his apartment thanks to his two best friends. Both had linked their arms with him, and Beomgyu was carrying a bag with him, the content of it still unknown to Yeonjun. And now they were walking through the woods, along a familiar but overgrown path, and Yeonjun saw the sun hitting metal in the distance, making something gleam through the trees.

The three came closer, and the shimmering metal was revealed to be a chain link fence, old and rusty at some parts, and in it, a big hole.

And slipping through that hole was like entering a new world. Or rather an old one, a well known one. Yeonjun felt a few of these sharp edges of the shards of his heart rounden, stopping to cut him open from the inside. He felt the slightest bit of safety, but just that bit was lifting a whole world from his shoulders, at least for now.

In front of him was a quiet, peaceful scenery, laying serene in the rays of the afternoon sun. A dried out swimming pool full of graffiti, a lonely basketball hoop, a small shelter already overgrown, paint cracking off of its walls. This was  _ their _ place. The place of only these three boys, nobody else belonged here. Beomgyu and Soobin brought him here, the most familiar place in the world, at the exact time where Yeonjun was feeling like a stranger to everything.

They climbed up the shelter, sitting down on the roof to watch the sun slowly travel down the horizon, soon going to disappear behind the trees surrounding this area. This whole time, none of them had said a word. But Soobin was now breaking that comfortable silence after the three of them stared off into the sky for a bit.

“You know I love you, right, Yeonjun?” Yeonjun slowly nodded.

“And I love you too, Jun! Don’t forget!” Again, he could only nod.

“Do you want to… talk about it? All of it? Or just parts?” Soobin put an arm around Yeonjun, patting his shoulder gently. He probably owed them, especially Soobin, an explanation, so he should tell them what the fuck caused this mess of a breakdown. But just thinking about it made it hard for Yeonjun to even properly breathe, so how was he going to talk? How was he going to say it out loud and describe his feelings to them? Couldn’t they just read his mind and suddenly know what was wrong? And then… find a way for him to escape this mess? And where was he even supposed to start?

But as if Beomgyu had felt his worry, he instead started speaking up.

“If you don’t want to- or  _ can’t _ speak, should I just… try summarize what I know? And you can add to it if you feel like it later?” Yeonjun only nodded. Honestly hearing his miserable story of falling for Taehyun from Beomgyu wouldn’t be  _ much _ better, but maybe it’d hurt less than talking about it all himself.

“So, as far as I understood it, they got together to make Hyunji jealous. And they were going to do it for a month and now basically… The month is over, they broke up again but Yeonjunnie caught feelings and now-” Beomgyu threw a pitying glance over to Yeonjun as patted his thigh once, then reached into the plastic bag he had with him this whole time, pulling out a pack of chocolate chip cookies. “Honestly, it sounds stupid to me. Why would he break up? I thought you kissed and shit?”

“Wait, what? You kissed? Like-” Soobin tilted his head, looking at Yeonjun with his eyes wide open. He only sighed and took one of the cookies Beomgyu was offering.

“Yeah…” He took a bite. It wasn’t like Yeonjun was hungry, but these cookies felt like a lifesaver right now, that sweet chocolate reminded him of all the times him, Beomgyu and Soobin were cuddled up watching movies or playing games and eating these cookies in hard times, when one of them struggled with anything really. “It’s really- weird. All of this was weird, because…” Yeonjun barely managed to form a sentence, his thoughts running wild. How to even start? How to explain that process of falling in love and knowing that nothing would work out but still hoping that maybe it  _ would _ ?

“Because he acted as if he was in love with you, Yeonjun. Of course it’s weird. You’re used to him being your boyfriend,” Beomgyu said, playing with the pack of cookies.

“Things started to feel real, you know?” Speaking did start to feel easier now. His eyes didn’t burn as much anymore, yet his throat was still dry. “Like in private.”

“You said, you kissed?” Soobin asked cautiously. Yeonjun nodded.

“The morning after he picked me up from Min. It was- so weird. We were just talking and I guess we kinda got like, close to each other again and, well, we just flirted a bunch, like we always do, really, and then he looked at me and he kissed me. And- obviously I enjoyed it, because I fucking love him, and he saw that I enjoyed it because I pulled him in, and I know that  _ he _ enjoyed it I guess, but- he apologized.”

“Then maybe you should have  _ told _ him that it’s no problem because you, you know, like kissing him?” Beomgyu raised his eyebrows. “Like maybe he  _ didn’t _ know you liked it.”

“Come on, he knew. I literally pulled him closer, I-”   
“Well, it looks like,” Soobin leaned forwards a bit, scrunching his nose, “he didn’t. Because he’s a fucking dumbass.”

“Soobin, don’t say that-”

“No, Yeonjun, listen here.” He straightened his back again. “He’s dumb. Taehyun is fucking dumb. And I can’t believe he just left you like that. He kissed you? And you seemed to have kissed him back? And he acts as if it’s an accident or something? Nobody does that, unless you’re a fucking dumbass.”

“Did you finally confess at least?” Yeonjun nodded at Beomgyus question.

“I did. Just now.”

“And he said?”

“What I expected him to say. That he doesn’t love me back.”

“Fuck  _ off _ , no! Come on, he’s a fucking idiot! Okay, why the fuck would you flirt with someone all the time and then  _ kiss _ him and then  _ all of the sudden _ act as if you have no feelings for him whatsoever? That does not make sense, Yeonjun. That’s not how a functional brain works. That is how the brain of a fucking dumbass bitch works. Of someone who has zero fucking brain cells left.” Soobin loudly slapped his own thigh as if to end his speech with that. “He’s dumb.”

“He’s not dumb, Soobin-”   
“Yes, he is.”

“Bin, fuck off. I’m serious, I know it’s weird and it doesn’t make sense but I get it somehow. Yes, we flirted all that time and the way he kissed me just didn’t feel fake, but- Maybe that kiss was his way of finding out he doesn’t love me. Maybe he had to- test it out? If it felt right?” Both Beomgyu and Soobin were silent now, Soobin had his eyes wide open in disbelief, and you could pretty much see the brain cells slowly evaporating. Yeah, none of this made really sense, but Yeonjun wanted to find  _ some  _ explanation.

“In that case, he’s an asshole and should have been honest about his feelings and how he’s questioning them in the first place! You don’t just kiss someone to ‘try it out’, and if you don’t like it, leave it at that without any explanation. You don’t kiss and then don’t talk about it ever again. Unless you’re an asshole.”

“Taehyun isn’t an asshole-”

“Oh no, he’s just a dumbass and I want to punch his pretty face.” Beomgyu sighed and patted- or rather slapped Yeonjuns shoulder. “I get that you love him, but- I don’t know, all he really does is hurt and confuse you. Maybe you two just aren’t-” Beomgyu stopped, his stare was blank and he sighed. “I don’t want to tell you to move on from him because it’s not that easy, but… you should try.”

“I don’t want to move on from him. I love him so fucking much.”

“I know you do, Jun. I know.” When Beomgyu and then Soobin simply hugged him from both sides, Yeonjun felt like crying once again, but at this point he was just exhausted, he was tired, and just shedding another tear would stress his eyes too much. So he just closed them, let them rest while absorbing every bit of the familiar warmth of his two very best friends.

Maybe half an hour and a bunch of cookies later, Yeonjun finally raised his voice again after enjoying the comforting closeness and the slowly disappearing sunlight in complete silence.

“How did you know?” Soobin slightly jumped at the sudden question, yet Beomgyu only raised his eyebrows.

“Know what?”

“That I needed you.” A short silence followed, then Beomgyu answered.

“Well, you texted me that you’d tell him. And I asked you to keep me updated and if you don’t reply in an hour I’ll come over. And when I spammed you with messages and you didn’t say anything, I guess we kind of panicked? Well Soobin panicked, and we came here. I told him to get to your place already while I got some of, you know… our comfort cookies… I also have a beer in case that you need to-”

“No, no beer-” Yeonjun huffed and shook his head as Beomgyu was about to reach for the plastic bag again. “I’ve maybe had a bottle or two this weekend already, I’m not- I don’t need anything.” He scratched the back of his neck as he thought about his idiotic attempt to drown out the pain with alcohol when he really only had cheap beer at home, which ended up in him being the slightest bit tipsy but in no way drunk enough to be less in pain. Instead, everything around him was just spinning more than it already did before and he was stuck with that absolutely awful taste in his mouth. Maybe he could get something nicer later on this week.

“I’m still wondering why both of you came though. Like… Soobin. How did you know?”

“Oh actually-” Soobin huffed. “Me and Gyu were hanging out but he wanted to make sure you’re okay and- I can really just leave you like that, right?” He put on a sorry smile, and as much as Yeonjun wanted to act offended, he really was just glad Soobin was here again.

“Are you still mad at me?” Soobin didn’t answer, only when Beomgyu threw a dark gaze at him, he sighed.

“I’m still kind of mad, yeah, but- I guess I can yell at you another time. I know that you need us right now, Jun. I wanna be here for you. I still love you.”

“I guess that’s really what I need right now.” Yeonjun sighed, watching the dark slowly taking over the forest and their personal little paradise after the sun had completely disappeared behind the trees. “The knowledge that I am loved.”

This could have been such a sweet moment. Outside in their favourite place, cuddled up together, being warm despite the cool october air, with cookies and some beer if they wanted to have any. It could have been so nice.

If it wasn't for Taehyuns voice still faintly echoing in Yeonjuns mind. And he knew, as soon as he was alone in his room again, that one sentence would play in his head like a broken record, getting louder and louder again.

“I don’t love you in that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm- I'm just not gonna say much about the chapter itself but instead...
> 
> THANK YOU???? FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT WHAT THE FUCK???? I'm actually so so happy and honestly, I'm fucking PROUD to see so many people enjoy the shit I write. I've reached 4000 hits, get so many amazing comments... I'm so sorry I don't get to reply to all of them :(  
> I'm so thankful for you all, that you are supporting and lifting me up so much while I'm really struggling with my personal life. Actor really is my comfort, and so is each and every one of you. Thank you so much!
> 
> And, uhm- I'm sorry :D


	18. Chapter 18

Rain had been falling down from the dark skies this whole day, knocking against the kitchen window, disrupting the uncomfortable silence in the room. Taehyun sat at the kitchen table, poking into the plate of noodles his mother had left in the microwave for him. He wasn’t hungry. Not since yesterday.

Yesterday, when he had said words he wasn’t sure he actually meant. When he had said something that was supposed to be honest and easy to speak out. And then, he left Yeonjuns apartment. Alone. Finally realizing what he had done.

Yeonjuns heart was broken, and all because of Taehyun and his nonsensical actions and words. Yeonjun had fallen for him because the act ended up being too real in his eyes. If Taehyun would have only been better at being himself instead of being the  _ role _ when he was alone with Yeonjun, maybe none of this would have happened. Taehyun admitted it, this mess was his fault, and his alone. Yeonjun was obviously not able to just control his emotions and feelings for Taehyun, of course he couldn’t just stop falling in love with someone. Then again… Taehyun couldn’t either-

He grunted, almost threw the fork into the noodles in front of him. Stop thinking about Yeonjun, just stop thinking about him, his tired red eyes that obviously had been crying, his messy hair and his confession that was so full of sincerity and yet pain. Stop thinking about him just for a second.

He leaned back in his chair, staring at the meal in front of him. He still wasn’t hungry. And the noodles were probably cold by now. He closed his eyes. God, how tired he had been. He barely got any sleep last night, not after once again having one of his stupid nightmares that always haunted him when he- wasn’t well.

When he heard the kitchen door open, he flinched. He quickly turned around, and was greeted by his little sister, tired eyes behind her round glasses. In her arms were a bunch of books, paper sticking out of them.

“Do you have time maybe?”

“Oh, uhm-” Taehyun cleared his throat, straightened his back. “For what?”

“Homework,” the girl answered, sitting down opposite from Taehyun, spreading all her paperwork on the table, while Taehyun pushed away the noodles to the other side of the table.

“I guess. What subjects?”

“All of them.” Sohee sighed, staring at the coloured and highlighted texts and exercises in front of her. “Biology, a bit of english, oh, and I just can’t get maths done. I’m also having a history exam on Friday and I still don’t know a single thing about what happened outside of asia during the second world war.”

“What do you want to start with then?”

“Well- nothing if I’m being honest.” Sohee dropped her head on the table. “This is stupid. I don’t like school. As if a teenage girl didn’t already have enough trouble in her life.” Taehyun huffed. Did she? He barely kept up with  _ her _ life anymore after his got a lot more busy.

“You’re having trouble?” Taehyun asked cautiously and Sohee lifted her head.

“Oh, well, not too much, but…” She started playing with the corners of her paper, bending and curling it up a bit. “You know, I guess there are other things on my mind than Germany during the second world war. Like maybe I wanna think about my friends and hobbies and goals and not just study and spend my day reading boring texts. Ugh, and I’m feeling awfully single, Minjoo recently got into a relationship and I think Linda wants to ask out that guy from our running team and Haejin also has a crush and it’s looking really good for them-” Taehyun could barely keep up with all the names of Sohees friends and instead started studying one of the papers they had laying in front of them. “And I don’t know, it’s just kind of getting annoying because all they do is talk about boys? Like, yeah, there sure are some cute guys in our school but they’re all good for pretty much nothing. And then there’s you, and you  _ also _ have a boyfriend-” Taehyuns head nearly bolted up when Sohee said that. She didn’t know. Only Kai did, no one else.

“Sohee-” His voice sounded heavy now, a bit hoarse. The girl raised her head, looking at her brother, and when she saw Taehyuns expression, her eyes widened. “Not… anymore-”

“You... broke up? But you were so-” In love. They were in love. No, Yeonjun was in love- Right? It was just him and-

“Fuck-” Taehyun buried his face in his hands, trying to hold back the tears of pure confusion. Sohee was quick to jump up and wrap her arms around her brother.

“I’m sorry, Taehyunnie- I didn’t know-” She gently patted Taehyuns back.

“Don’t tell mom and dad.” Taehyun pressed his eyes shut, not wanting a single tear to escape. He wouldn’t allow himself to cry over losing Yeonjun. No, he didn’t even lose him. They were never- They never belonged to each other in the first place.

“I’m not gonna tell them. I’m so sorry, Taehyunnie.” Sohee softly swayed Taehyun in her arms while the tears were finally breaking out and he started to suppress his sobs as best as possible. “When he was here the last time… And you cried after he left…” Sohee was almost whispering. “Did you argue?”

When Taehyun cried after Yeonjun left. Over a week ago, when Yeonjun finally was feeling well enough and not as hungover as he did before, and Taehyun was caught crying by his sister after Yeonjun left their house and got on his way home. They hadn’t argued at all, no, it was the exact opposite. They kissed, Taehyun kissed Yeonjun, and he was left confused. Confused by his own feelings, and his own actions, and confused by Yeonjun who pulled him closer during that kiss.

He acted as if the kiss had never happened but Taehyun wouldn’t stop thinking about it. He felt guilty about it, as if it was something he was never supposed to do and never supposed to enjoy.

Taehyun didn’t even remember what exactly he was thinking when he and Yeonjun where sitting on the bed and Taehyuns eyes just couldn’t stop trailing off to Yeonjuns lips until he finally gave in to the desire to feel them on his own once again. Was he thinking anything at all? Was he aware of what he was doing? Certainly not. And when Yeonjun left, it all came crashing down on him, the confusion and insecurity, his need and yearning for this boy scaring him so much, he couldn’t help but to break down. Just like he did now.

Why, just why was he so conflicted, why couldn’t he finally return to his real self and leave the love, the  _ fake _ love for Yeonjun behind? And why was that fake love so much stronger than any other emotion Taehyun had ever experienced?

“Get up into your room, Taehyunnie,” Sohee whispered to her brother when he didn’t answer, instead finally started to sob. “Play a bit with Dan, okay? You don’t need to help me, I’ll ask dad later. I’ll make you some tea for you if you want. Come on, get up. Get up, Taehyunnie.” Sohee let go of Taehyun, helped him to slowly get up when his body was starting to slightly shake. He felt weak, both physically and emotionally. He didn’t want to leave his sisters side now, but it was alright, maybe he’d find comfort in his room.

He didn’t. When Sohee practically dropped him off there, he didn’t feel the slightest bit of comfort, instead the pain in his chest grew at the bare sight of his bed, in which he had woken up next to Yeonjun, on which he had cuddled with him and talked to him and  _ kissed _ him. And now just everything reminded him of Yeonjun. Everything reminded him of the boy that made him feel so awfully safe and happy.

Taehyun used his last bit of energy to fall onto his bed before he- Finally gave in to all these emotions. And cried. And let it out. And shed all these tears, for Yeonjun only. For the one that had cried over him too because he said that stupid fucking sentence of ‘I don’t love you’.

Taehyun had lied to Yeonjun, he knew that, but he wasn’t sure  _ what _ that lie was anymore. He wasn’t sure if it was the ‘I love you’ or the ‘I don’t love you’. He wasn't sure if it was the dating that was faked or the breaking up. And there was nothing he could do to find out because he was just confused, nothing but absolutely confused, it hurt his head, his chest, his heart in particular.

And so he just cried. He cried it out. For a few minutes, or maybe half an hour, he wasn’t sure. Time barely even moved, nothing around him did, once again turning into a blurred, dark mess. Why was it that whenever he was crying,  _ breaking _ , he’d be stuck in the darkness? Why was it that he never managed to get out of it himself?

Just now the darkness was cracking away the slightest bit when someone knocked on the door. Taehyun lowered his head, enough to still see the person opening the door but in a way to slightly hide his face that was tear stained now, and tried to hold his breath. Sohee was peeking in, eyes glued to the ground, clearly because she couldn’t bear to see her brother messed up and crying like this.

“There’s someone who wants to see you, Taehyun,” Sohees quiet voice said. She disappeared again, and instead someone else stepped in. Taehyuns heart started feeling just the slightest bit lighter when he saw the figure through his blurred sight.

“Hi, Tyun.” Kais usually excited, soft voice sounded almost dull as he looked at his friend, sitting on the bed, legs pulled up to his chest, head barely up. He sat down next to him, just looking at him while Taehyun desperately tried not to break.

Taehyun didn’t need to say anything for Kai to just sigh and then pull him into the most loving hug. It was an embrace Taehyun felt safe in, safe enough to just start crying again, letting it all go. And here in his soulmates warm arms, Taehyun felt like he could just forget all the problems for a while. Kais hands brushed through Taehyuns hair as he held him close to his body.

“Because of Yeonjun?” Taehyun nodded. “Oh no… My Tyunnie, I’m so sorry… You’ll get over him, I promise, but-”

“No,” Taehyun sobbed against his soulmates chest. “It’s not- Kai, it wasn’t-” How the fuck was he going to explain this? How was Kai even supposed to understand what was going on and maybe help him out when he didn’t even know why Taehyun was so distraught? He wasn’t aware that this wasn’t just a breakup like any other, but much more something that made Taehyun question absolutely everything he did and said and felt in the past month.

“Shh, breathe. Take a deep breath if you can. Take your time.” He tried. He really tried to just breathe, but it was harder than expected, it was hard to somehow stop the sobbing so that he could  _ speak _ . Maybe he should just keep quiet for a little while, try to calm down in Kais arms, while his best friend softly patted his back.

“I know you must feel hurt now but it’s okay. A breakup sure is a hard thing to go through…” Taehyun wasn’t able to just explain the real reason for his hurting heart, instead he just shook his head. No. That wasn’t it. It wasn’t that he fell out of love with his boyfriend. It was more that he fell-

That he fell too deep into a character that wasn’t him- right? It wasn’t him. It wasn’t- It became harder to believe that sentence, but he didn’t want to, and  _ couldn’t  _ accept that maybe, there was a bit of truth to all these feelings.

“Taehyun… Tyun, I’m so sorry… But please breathe, come on. Inhale, take a deep breath… and exhale. It’ll be alright.” Taehyun tried to follow Kais instructions, a few times until it really started to feel easier to breathe, and he got his sobs a bit more unter control. He didn’t lift his head, rested in Kais arms who didn’t once stop caressing his back.

As Taehyuns sobs lessened, Kai tried to gently move away, yet was held closely, causing his attempt to fail. Taehyun didn’t want to let go of him. He wanted to continue to be close to him, and just wait like this until everything was finally over. Until he wasn’t confused anymore and nothing mattered anymore. But of course, just hugging Kai wouldn’t solve any problems. Yet it felt like it did.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Kai spoke to him in a soft tone, as if he was talking to a little child. It was quite weird; Kai was a few months younger than Taehyun, sometimes even came off as quite childish, Taehyun was definitely the more mature one of the two. And yet Kai was incredibly responsible, attentive, clever. He was quick to change into a comforting quiet person if he needed to. He knew that sometimes Taehyun just needed to be treated with care, gently and softly.

Sadly he wouldn’t be able to really help. He still didn’t know what was going on. So…

“Kai?” His soulmate hummed in response. “I lied.”

“About what?” Kai was unfazed, remained just as calm as before.

“Yeonjun.”

“What are you talking about? Did he-”

“I’m sorry, we-” Taehyun let out a sob again. “We never- We were never in a real relationship.” Kai stopped his soothing hand movement for a second, hesitating to say anything.

“I… I don’t get it.”

“We lied. We acted. We never- We only did it because- I’m so sorry I lied to you-” Taehyun held onto Kai tighter, not allowing him to leave even if he attempted to. If he’d leave too, who would be left? Who would still be able to give Taehyun the love and comfort he needed?

But Kai didn’t move away, nor did he react shocked or mad. He just continued to hold his friend, waiting for him to continue his story.

“Go on.” His voice was just as stable as before. How come he didn’t react to it in any way? How was it possible for him to just go on?

“I-it was all faked and- The breakup was planned from the very beginning, I thought it would all go well and- Well we broke up and then he told me that-” A feeling of helplessness crept up his spine, leading Taehyun to shudder as he started sobbing more heavily again.

“Hey, Tyun, it’s okay. Calm down a bit, it’s gonna be alright. Breathe. You don’t have to tell me if you can’t.”

“I broke his heart, Kai, he fell in love with me and- And I said I didn’t love him back and I just left and I broke his heart! I- Everything is fucked up because of me-” Taehyun started rambling in between his crying, trying to get it all out now. Just say all the things he was thinking, with a voice trembling so much, he couldn’t exactly be sure if Kai even understood everything he said. “I’ve lost him and I just let him go like that and just left and- I feel so awful for making him feel like that but I’m also so- I’m so-”

“Taehyun, slow down a bit. Breathe, it’s okay, take your time. I’m here for a while, you can slow down.” Once again Taehyun tried to breathe as Kai said. Calm down. He needed to get this out now and if he talked and sobbed and cried all at once, Kai would barely understand him, right? Slowly. Calm down.

“So you had a pretend relationship and broke up,” Kai repeated, “and he then told you that he loves you? Like real love?” Taehyun nodded. “And you said you don’t feel the same?” He nodded again. “But…  _ do  _ you feel the same?”

Taehyun hesitated. Now that was exactly the problem. If he only knew. If he only understood what was going on in his stupid head, and most importantly, in his heart.

“I don’t fucking know- I- I feel so different with him, it feels so right being with him, and when we kiss I just-”

“Taehyun, I can’t look  _ into _ your head but that sounds pretty-”

“No, no, listen, I- I’ve been playing this dumb role for so long, and I’ve been getting into this whole boyfriend thing too much. It’s not- I think it’s all just that role I’ve been playing, it has taken over me, it controls my thoughts and I can’t properly differentiate between  _ me _ and  _ Yeonjuns boyfriend! _ ”

Now Kai let go of Taehyun, moving away slightly and instead taking him by the shoulders as softly as possible, looking him straight into the tired eyes. Taehyun quickly wiped over his face with the sleeves of his shirt, looking back at his friend.

“Tyun. I don’t know how to tell you, but… That doesn’t happen. You don’t confuse your roles feelings with your own. I didn’t turn into Veronica Sawyer last halloween, just like you didn’t suddenly act like Heather Chandler. I didn’t think the school was my kingdom just because I played the role of the king in last years play, my friends didn’t turn into fairies, and you didn’t  _ merge _ your feelings with those of the hero you played. Taehyun, you’re an amazing actor. You are great at knowing and understanding and feeling what your roles experience. But once you’re off stage, you know that you’re  _ you _ and you experience your own emotions.”

“But-” Taehyun wished he could argue with that, say anything that would put him in the right again, but things in his head started to make less sense all of the sudden. Or did they make more sense? “But we were acting constantly, I was  _ living _ as that role! I  _ was _ his boyfriend whenever I was around him, Kai!”

“And when no one was there, you were in private? Did you still feel like his boyfriend?”

“Well- yeah, kind of, because- Like I said, I started to confuse the role with real life and-”

“Okay, Taehyun, let's be honest. You don’t act when you’re off stage. Why would you do it in this case?” Taehyun didn’t answer. “That does not happen. You can’t just pretend in front of  _ yourself _ like this. It does not work out. I don’t know where you got that idea from but- I think you might like Yeonjun just as much as your ‘role’ did.”

Something in Taehyuns brain began processing Kais words, just slowly, but surely. Yet he only continued to feel confused. Taehyun had never been in love, he had never liked someone like this. And now-

“Kai, what if- How can I be sure-”

“Ah, Taehyun, you’re really tiring like this, you know? Come on. Think about it. Do you enjoy being around him?”

“Of course I do.”

“Did it feel right to break up?”

“No, but-”

“Did it feel right to hold hands with him and be close with him and kiss him?”

“...Well, yes…”

“And, when you say ‘I love you’ to him, no matter if you did it in front of others or not, does that feel right?”

“It-” Taehyun sighed shakily, closing his eyes. “It does.”

“There you have it, Tyun. You can’t trick yourself like that. You love him.”

“Fuck this.” Taehyun let himself fall to the side, slightly curling up. “I told him I don’t love him, I just said ‘Oh no, I don’t love you, I can’t love you’, I just said it out loud like that, like it was nothing.”

“ _ Was _ it nothing?”

“It was  _ something _ , it was the worst fucking thing I’ve ever said! It was the dumbest thing, and I don’t even know why I said it, I don’t-”

“So you lied, Taehyunnie? You love him?”

“I-” The storm outside was nothing compared to the fucking hurricane in Taehyuns entire body right now. It was nothing compared to these emotions and questions and thoughts he couldn’t even properly name that were all raging and twisting in his head, and the pain that was creeping up in his heart. But things made sense. Not his actions towards Yeonjun from yesterday, but his goddamn  _ feelings  _ made sense, his desires, his thoughts. “I do, I really do, I love him. I’m a stupid dumbass, I’m such a fucking idiot, I’m in love with him-”

That was it, the right thing to say. The words a part of him was waiting to say for so long, the words that another part of him was trying to hold back. But why? Why had it been so hard to say it? It felt so right, obviously, like for the first time in ages he wasn’t telling a  _ lie _ anymore. He loved him. Taehyun loved Yeonjun.

Kai sighed loudly, looking Taehyun while crossing his arms.

“Hey, you’re not- I mean you kinda are an idiot, but… At least you got it know. A bit late, but-”

“But why did I  _ say _ that, why-”

“Taehyun, listen. You don’t have any experience with all that love stuff, and you  _ are _ pretty oblivious. You were probably confused. You wanted to do things according to your plan, and you said that breaking up was planned. Maybe you panicked. Maybe you didn’t know how to handle that and you just said anything as a kind of ‘defense’?”

“Of course I didn’t know what to do, why would… Why would someone like Yeonjun ever love me?” Tears started to form in Taehyun eyes once again.

“You may be very different, but you know, opposites attract.”

“That’s not it. No, he- Who am I compared to him? Come on, why would someone like him fall for a stupid fucking nerd like me? I don’t get it, what’s so special about me, he even said he doesn’t fall in love with boys usually and then there he is, being in love with me and saying such sweet things about  _ me _ out of all people-”

“Taehyun, come on, don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re precious and loveable.”

“I don’t get how someone could fall in love with me. Someone as perfect as Yeonjun.”

“You don’t need to get it. He loves you, you love him. You need to fix this, and… and tell him. You could work out together, you know? You need just need to talk and let him know what you’re feeling.”

Taehyun pulled his own arms closer to himself. His heart began aching. How was he supposed to talk to Yeonjun now? And take all these things he said that broke his heart back? How was he even supposed to apologize and bring it up in the first place? And most importantly, how was he supposed to even reach out to him?

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can, Tyun…”

“No, I literally, actually can’t- I- I can’t reach him. He-” Taehyun sighed, trying his best not the break out into sobbing again. “He blocked me. I can’t text him.”

“What? Why would he-”   
“Because I broke his fucking heart! Of course he wouldn’t want to talk to me! He- he probably just wants to forget me right?”

“He won’t forget you, Hyunnie-”

“But I wish he would. I wish he’d forget me and move on. I don’t want him to be in love with me. I wish he could just fall out of love with me. So he wouldn’t get hurt by me.”

“But you feel the same as him!” Kai now laid down next to Taehyuns curled up body, looking at him with his pretty sparkling yet concerned and worried eyes. “You have the chance to make it right, Taehyun.”

“How, the damage is done! I fucked him up and now there’s no way to even tell him that I finally fucking got it, I missed my chance to- Urgh. I fucked it up.”   
“You can still tell him in school.”

“We agreed not to talk in school.”

“Well ignore that, it’s important that you tell him!”

“I- I’d rather- Just let him be. Just let him forget me. I’m just gonna hurt him, I could never be the boyfriend he’d want.”

“Taehyun? You’ve already been the boyfriend he wants? That’s the whole thing, you’ve been and acted like his boyfriend before. You technically were in a relationship already. Apparently you’ve already shown him that you are exactly what he wants.”

“And… I guess he’s what I want.”

Yeonjun was what he wanted. Taehyun wanted Yeonjuns arms around him, he wanted his lips on his skin, he wanted to see his smile and hear his voice, he wanted them to belong together. He had been wanting that for so long too, just being too fucking oblivious to understand that it was really  _ him _ who wanted that.

“You both want the same, Taehyun. Let him know. It can work out.”

“Don’t you think he deserves someone who doesn’t hurt him though?”

“My god! Stop with that already! You’ve made him happy all this time and now, yeah, you kinda really messed up but I’ve been  _ telling _ you that you can fix it! You deserve him, he deserves you! You can talk it out, and then you can- Do all these couple thingies together and be happy but you need to tell him what you feel! Un-break his heart and make it all better.”

If it only was that easy. Because if there was one thing Taehyun knew the two weren’t good at, it was talking to each other and communicating their damn feelings.

“Will you promise me that you’ll talk to him in school next time you see him?” Taehyun slowly nodded.

“Hyuka?”

“Yeah?”

“I- I just wanna cry right now.”

“It’s okay, Tyunnie. Come here. You can cry. It must be a lot for you.” Kai opened his arms, inviting Taehyun into a hug. He wrapped his arms around him, making him feel secure, yet vulnerable at the same time.

“Are you mad at me?” Taehyun whispered as his eyes filled up with tears of pure frustration and guilt again.

“For… Pretending you mean? Or lying or whatever? No. Well- Maybe a bit. But I’m sure you had a reason, right?” Though Taehyun believed Kais words, his voice sounded just the slightest bit disappointed.

“Why’d you come here…?”

“Your sister texted me.” Kai huffed as he brushed through Taehyuns hair. “She’s so sweet. She said you were just crying and help was needed. Did I help?”

“You did.” And there they went. Tears began escaping his eyes, dripping down Taehyuns face. “You really did.”

The rain was still crashing down from the skies, thunder growling in the distance, and yet Taehyuns room was pretty much in complete silence. Only sometimes Taehyuns exhausted sobs and sniffs were audible, muffled against Kais chest, who still held his friend, his soulmate tight to his body.

It was relaxing, just now, when Taehyun felt like everything in and around him was moving and spinning. It felt secure. And calmed him down enough to close his tired burning eyes, and after a while, just fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuhm haha at least.... at least he finally got it now ???? hahaa--


	19. Chapter 19

Everything felt empty without Yeonjun.

The school did, Taehyuns bed did, his arms did. He was so used to Yeonjun always being around that suddenly not being with him simply felt wrong. And it left Taehyun empty. Yeonjun was missing.

Yeonjun hadn’t been to school. Not once, this whole week. Taehyun saw Soobin and Beomgyu maybe once, but they didn’t seem to notice him, or simply ignored him. Rumors were starting to go around, though none of them had ever been confirmed as only a few people actually went up to Taehyun to ask, and Soobin and Beomgyu seemed to have kept quiet about it whenever someone approached them.

The few times he had been asked, Taehyun didn’t really answer. ‘Why’d you ask that?’ he just said before moving away. It was true. They had broken up. But Taehyun just didn’t want to  _ say _ it, he didn’t want it to be known. And yet he knew, by next week everyone would probably know, and talk about it. The whole school would talk about it, about both of them being single. What would that mean for the two though?

People would probably try to get their hands on Yeonjun. Was he going to move on? Date someone else? Taehyun had said that he wanted Yeonjun to forget him but- If he really did, really found someone else… Taehyun hated that thought. And what about himself? Would he be forgotten again, or would people continue to have their eyes on him, would he still be more than just a boring theatre kid or was he going to fall back into the position he had before in this hierarchy in school?

What about Hyunseok? Would he try to get Taehyuns attention? Who was going to protect him? Taehyun needed Yeonjun. Not only as a friend- or boyfriend, but also as someone who could be there for him and protect him from any harassment. He had to find that out in the past week already, when he was left alone with Kai again, who’d thankfully never leave his side.

Those same people who had been picking on him for years seemed to want to use the opportunity to occasionally bump into Taehyun again, all on ‘accident’ of course, stepping on his foot when passing him. Minor things, these actions themselves didn’t bother Taehyun too much. But there was a certain fear nonetheless. Because once everything was out, once everyone knew that Taehyun was no longer under Yeonjuns protection- What was Kiwoon going to do?

Taehyun had passed him once in school this week. And his face said enough. He didn’t do anything, but he was clearly  _ threatening  _ to do something, just with his cold eyes and ugly grin alone. Taehyun had never been scared of Kiwoon before, but now he was. Now that he had seen him actually hurt Yeonjun. What would stop him from trying to beat up Taehyun, who was pretty much defenseless? Well, seemed defenseless at least, he wasn’t as weak as he looked. But if Kiwoon actually got him, caught him off guard? He probably was not going to get out of there alive.

He once again realized how much he depended on Yeonjun. This entire month he knew he was safe. Not always a good feeling if it meant that maybe Yeonjun had to be hurt to ensure safety to his boyfriend, but he kept him safe nonetheless. Maybe that was a reason why he fell in love. Because Yeonjun was quite selfless when it came to Taehyun. And because he made him feel like things were going to be alright.

Taehyun had been thinking a lot the past week. About all these reasons he fell in love. Now that he finally admitted it himself, now that he  _ understood _ that he loved Yeonjun, everything made so much more sense. More sense than his absolute garbage excuse made at least.

Falling in love with Yeonjun made sense. He was incredibly attractive of course, but god, he was beautiful from the inside. As cheesy as it sounded, Yeonjuns personality matched his handsome face and body and every single detail about his appearance. Stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful. He was soft, so gentle with Taehyun, and could be so ice cold and scary when it came to protecting him. Yeonjun was perfect. Too perfect for Taehyun. And so he lost him, just like that.

Taehyun honestly had given up on reaching out to Yeonjun. He was still blocked, which was just an indicator that Yeonjun didn’t want to speak to him, and they couldn’t talk in school because he simply didn’t go to school. Of course, Taehyun knew where he lived, and he had played with the idea of just visiting him a few times already, but scrapped it every time. Yeonjun didn’t want to talk. And that was okay.

Obviously it wasn’t, not for Taehyun at least. With every day, he missed Yeonjun more. But he probably deserved it, he deserved to be in pain when he had previously put Yeonjun in such a terrible situation, probably for an entire month. But Yeonjun would one day be okay, and so would Taehyun. He’d soon be able to let go of him. He’d soon take his mind off of Yeonjun, and let go of him, and of being his.

Taehyun had tried a few things to get away from his constant sorrow. Studying being one of these things, but nothing would really fit into his brain by now, not any of his school work nor the text for his upcoming play. Playing with his pet snake was always a great distraction for him but honestly, even Dan seemed to judge Taehyun for fucking everything up, getting quite bored of him quickly whenever Taehyun tried to play with him for a while.

So Taehyun resorted to one of the most boring things to do alone, in his opinion at least. Taking a walk. Talking a walk around the city, visiting districts he hadn’t seen before, despite living here for all of his 18 years now. Today seemed to be the perfect day for that, at least before Taehyun got lost.

It was sunny, not like the beginning of the week, where it had been raining and storming the whole day. The sun was in fact shining, as brightly and beautifully as a summer day, and thus Taehyun had expected it to be a warm temperature. And walking outside for the first 20 minutes or so wasn’t bad. Taehyuns thin jacket was protecting him from the occasional cold wind quite well. But not every sunny day is a warm one, and Taehyun began to get cold after a while.

And then, he got lost. Well, not lost, he knew his way back home, simply because he just had to turn around and follow the road he had walked down, but he ended up in a part of the city he had never been in before. It seemed to be a rather quiet district, dozens of grey buildings towering up into the sky. He occasionally came across some small convenience stores or old shops that didn’t seem like the most visited businesses in this city.

It wasn’t an ugly place, at least not really uglier than the rest of this town. But it wasn’t nice either. Not a place Taehyun would really want to live at. Then again, he was living in one of those upper-class neighborhoods, where all the snobby doctors and their perfect little families would reside. When it came to housing situation, he was pretty much spoiled.

Taehyun had to admit, after walking through the silent streets and the sun began hiding behind the clouds, he started feeling just the smallest bit uncomfortable. After all, he was walking all by himself, in a neighbourhood he had never been to before, in a rather grey atmosphere, not only because of the bland colourless fasades of the buildings around him, but also because of the now darkened sky as thick clouds were settling in front of the sun. At this point he should have probably turned around and explored a place more known to him, maybe a more populated at that, or just gone home to get something warm to eat. But Taehyun decided not to.

He dug his hands deep into his pockets as he lowered his gaze. He felt like he was being watched. He was probably just paranoid, all that stress and worry making him feel anxious. And yet, it felt unsettling walking through these empty streets. Every noise from inside of of the buildings made him flinch. And why wasn’t he turning around? Taehyun wasn’t sure himself, but something made him continue to walk. Something kept him going. But then, he stopped abruptly.

He turned his head to the side, body frozen. There was something, he saw something move in the corner of his eyes. What was he so afraid of though? People walking through the streets wasn’t an oddity, especially not in a district where people seemed to  _ live _ . Why was he scared then? Why did he feel unsafe? Or was it just the feeling of nervousness that had already been pressing against his chest this whole week that had simply become stronger now that he was completely alone with his thoughts?

Nothing had moved after Taehyun stopped walking. So he was just imagining things. Right. He was so sure something had moved, but no. It was just his head playing with him. Things slowly started to feel like the beginning to a bad indie horror movie. And just any second someone would jump him and-

Taehyun turned around. He saw something move, he swore he saw something, for real this time, something black. And it should have been behind him, but why wasn’t there-

And then his heart stopped, for just a second. Something came out of the alleyway just a few meters away from him, causing him to flinch once again, just to be greeted with- A meow? A small black cat now stood still in front of him after making its way out of the alley, meowing at him once, staring with its big yellow eyes. Taehyun exhaled. He really got scared by a kitty. He let out a tired chuckle as the cat continued to sneak across the street, then he turned around.

Weirdly enough, his heart was feeling just a bit less pressured. At least there was no need to worry about a serial killer following him somewhere or some weird bullshit like that. Nonetheless, Taehyun knew that he should probably turn around, especially as it was getting colder, yet once again, he felt like walking just a bit longer. Just walking deeper into this unknown maze of concrete buildings.

When he saw something move once again, he didn't get scared. He didn’t flinch when he heard footsteps behind him, coming closer. Just when he heard a voice, the blood in his veins froze.

“Kang Taehyun. How nice to meet you here.” When he heard that voice, he knew he should have left. But his feet were glued to the ground, and his body was paralyzed. So he  _ did _ have a reason to be scared all this time. He turned his head just slightly, already recognizing the figure that had spoken to him. Han Kiwoon was towering behind him. And he was faced with that dirty smile once again.

“Leave me alone,” Taehyun just blurted out, not moving any further.

“I don’t want to bother you, Kang. But you and that absolute shitface Choi, you broke up, right?” Taehyun didn’t answer. “ _ Right _ ?” Kiwoon stepped closer to him. And when Taehyun refused to say anything- “Fucking answer me!” Kiwoon grabbed him by the shoulder, forcefully spinning him around to face him. He leaned down a bit to look into Taehyuns eyes. He stopped breathing.

“You did break up. Of fucking course. Who’d want to be with you for longer than a month? As expected. How did he dump you, huh? How was it?”

“He- He didn’t-”

“Did  _ you _ dump him? You have a fucking deathwish, right?” Kiwoon laughed, it was that fucking horse laugh, and he stared at Taehyun, taking the smallest step back. “Why would you be that fucking dumb? You’re a nobody without him, you know that, right? You’re alone. You have  _ nobody _ that could save your ass.” Taehyun barely managed to move, was only able to form a fist with his hands, his nails digging into his palms.

He wasn’t wrong. Taehyun lost his status. His safety. He lost the boy he loved, obviously, but that was also the boy who got him out of trouble every time. Every single time, Yeonjun had managed to come and rescue him, defend him, he was always perfectly timed, always able to play the hero. But now? Taehyun was alone. With no chance of getting help from Yeonjun.

“I’ve been waiting to meet you alone. Your ugly fucking shitface got annoying. But with Choi around there was no way to get through to you. You know what, you two looked good together! Both of you are good for nothing. Both of you have that punchable disgusting face. But he’s different because he thinks he’s strong and popular.  _ You _ know that you’re a useless cunt, but he thinks so highly of himself. He thinks everyone loves him, when in the end, nobody can stand him. If  _ you _ were just found dead one day, nobody would give a shit, but I promise you we’d celebrate his fucking corpse-”   
“Who the  _ fuck  _ do you think you  _ are _ ?!” Kiwoons eyes widened when Taehyun raised his voice, unstable but loudly. “Shut your fucking mouth, and don’t you fucking dare speak about him like that.”

“What did you just say?”

“I said  _ shut your fucking mouth _ .”

“What happened to everyone's least favourite good boy, huh? Has Choi taught you to talk like a big boy? I’m gonna crumple you. You know that I will break each and every fucking bone in your body and not a soul with give a  _ shit _ .”

Once again, Taehyun didn’t answer. He wouldn’t dare, right? He wouldn’t dare to touch him- God, yes he would. And he was going to. He was going to hurt him. Taehyun was scared, he was terrified, but he didn’t move, nor did he say anything.

“Of course now you shut up. You’re scared, right? You’re fucking scared, as you should. As you fucking should because once I’m done with you, your bitchass big ego ex can search the parts that are left over of you like easter eggs.”

“Y- You’re starting to sound ridiculous, Han. Really.” Taehyun didn’t know what he was saying,  _ why _ he was even speaking in the first place when he should have just shut up and run, but he was looking directly into Kiwoons eyes, raising his head ever so slightly. He should have known that this was a mistake, but right now, a weird mix of fear and anger came up in him, causing him to just… speak.

“You keep getting brave, and then you go back to being a pussy. What do you want, huh? Want me to be scared? You think you can scare me? You think-”   
“I want you to shut the fuck up.” Taehyuns hands started feeling almost numb as his knuckles turned white. “I want you to get away from me, from my friends, from Yeonjun. I want you to stop treating people like shit because you are too fucking insecure, because you don’t understand the worth of others simply because you are worthless. Now leave me alone.”

Kiwoon stared at Taehyun, eyes wide open. He seemed confused for a second, as if he had to process Taehyuns words first, and translate them into a language even his dumb bully brain would understand. Then his eyes darkened, and the corners of his mouth started twitching up into a rage filled smile. An ugly one, but scary nonetheless.

“Say that again, say that again you fucking-”

“You’re  _ worthless _ .” The grin should have scared Taehyun away, but he didn’t hesitate to repeat his words. But his action was soon rewarded with Kiwoon spitting in front of Taehyuns feet, then raising his head as his face got twisted with anger.

“You’ll see how worthless  _ you  _ are once I’m fucking done with you, you fucking bastard.”

A rush of adrenaline shot through Taehyuns body when Kiwoon swung at him, allowing him to dodge just fast enough for his fist to rush past Taehyuns face just barely. Kiwoon obviously didn’t aim properly, expecting Taehyun be caught off guard, but he was a fast thinker, and was pretty good at reacting quickly. But holy fuck. That was the end. Taehyun stumbled back a few steps. The streets were still empty, no one around to help. How to get away now? How to escape this? No time to think.

Kiwoon grabbed him by both of his arms, digging his fingers into the fabric of his jacket. Taehyun tried to pull his arms away, but Kiwoon grabbed them too tightly, just one of his hands sliding down the arm, scratching him through the fabric in the process. Kiwoon was trying to somehow push him away, probably to the ground, but Taehyun kept his balance while giving his best to escape the grip. He twisted his arms, and finally, Kiwoon couldn’t hold onto his other arm anymore, letting go of it for a brief moment.

Enough for Taehyun to pull away his other arm which Kiwoon was still holding onto, getting it out of his grip, leaving burning scratches on his forearm. Now he was free, and he should use that to… run? His brain now worked surprisingly fast, and decisions practically fell automatically. If he ran now, Kiwoon would catch up to him so- buy some time and-

Driven by nothing but adrenaline, Taehyun took a swing at Kiwoon, feeling so brave all of the sudden. Taehyun had closed his eyes halfway through, only feeling a sharp pain on his knuckles when he hit something he assumed to be Kiwoons nose. Taehyun opened his eyes after closing them briefly and Kiwoon let out a grunt as he stumbled, holding his face.

Taehyun jumped back again, holding his fist, and for just a second, he stared at Kiwoon, a drop of blood dripping down his face.  _ Run already _ , his brain called him out, and Taehyun did. Run. He ran without looking back once, hoping for Kiwoon to not catch up. He didn’t exactly know where to go, but he knew that he had to… hide? Stop somewhere, wherever he would be safe, could check out his fist, his burning forearm, and then get the fuck home already, get to safety-

It was like Taehyun blacked out while running. Like someone else took over his body while he himself was just passing out. He didn’t know where he was going, when he was going to stop, if he was safe or not. The adrenaline gave him a good boost in speed, not only strength, but it was wearing off slowly, so he, or rather his body, decided to finally slow down. His legs started to feel heavy, dragging over the still relatively empty streets, but to just stop here would probably not end well. His eyes quickly scanned the storefronts and spotted something that seemed to be a convenience store. He almost fell in as the door slid open when he came close.

Taehyun was short of breath, stumbling in, trying to hold onto a shelf right next to the entrance before he came back to his senses, perceived his environment again, and his legs stopped supporting his weight. He got to catch himself just before falling to the ground, breathing heavily, and only now properly noticing the pounding pain in his fist. It was reddened, his knuckles sure hit Kiwoons nose quite heavily. There also were a few scratches on one of his forearms, burning quite intensely, but just barely not deep enough to bleed though.

“Are you alright?” A woman, middle aged, a bit chubby, with short dark hair came up to him from behind the counter. She seemed to be the cashier. “Do you need something?” Taehyun looked up to her, still too out of breath to answer. Her expression was worried, motherly.

“I-” His hands began shaking. “I’m-”

“Calm down, are you okay? Are you alone?” He was. Oh god, he was. Taehyun was all alone. Even though he got out of this situation without any help this time, it still proved to him that he needed someone. He felt weak, unsafe, scared, he needed- “Do you want to call someone maybe?”

“Yeah, I-” Taehyuns voice was trembling now, and still exhausted. “My boyfriend.” No, no, it wasn’t- Well Taehyun didn’t care for who Yeonjun was to him. He didn’t care if he was his boyfriend or his fake ex or his friend, he needed Yeonjun, he needed to hide in his arms and feel his hands playing with his hair, he needed Yeonjun to comfort him like he had always done this past month.

God, what was he going to do without him? How was he going to make it without Yeonjun? When he already missed him so much and already got into trouble just days after they had last talked? His eyes started burning with tears once again as he tried to pull out his phone with shaking hands. There were too many emotions playing with him right now.

He unlocked his phone after a few tries, but then hesitated. He was blocked. No, there was no way to reach out to Yeonjun, because he didn’t  _ want _ Taehyun to talk to him. God, he- he was gone. But he needed him. Yeonjun couldn’t just let go of him like that, right? He’d come back if Taehyun needed him. Despite what he did. He  _ had _ to reach out to him again.

“Is there a problem?” The cashier lightly tapped Taehyuns shoulder. “Can you reach him?”

“I- I can’t-”

“Does it not work? You can try with my phone…” It wasn’t a good idea. Calling Yeonjun was in no way a good idea, but what else was he supposed to do? He just wanted to hear his voice once, even if Yeonjun would hang up right after.

“Yes, please- T-thank you so much.”

“No problem. Now breathe.” The woman quickly pulled out her own phone and gave it to Taehyun, who typed out Yeonjuns number. His finger was hovering over the call button for a few seconds.  _ Bad idea. Bad idea, don’t do it, don’t remind him of you, don’t call him. You don’t deserve to be comforted by him. You don’t deserve him, not after the lies you’ve told him. _

__ But Taehyun did it. The lady stepped away from Taehyun to leave him a bit of privacy as he lifted the phone up to his head. Seconds passed. Come on. Please answer, please-

“Hello? Who is this?” Taehyun heard a tired voice speak through the phone. It was him. Taehyun was holding back his tears.

“Yeonjun- Yeonjun, I-- I need you, I-” He hadn’t even thought about what to say to Yeonjun, he really just… wanted to hear him.

“Wait, who is this? Taehyun? Is that you, Taehyun?”

“I need you- I was just- walking and-”

“Are you okay, Taehyun?”

“I met Kiwoon-”

“What? Oh god, I- Are you okay? Is everything okay?”

“No- No, no, I just really- I need you. I’m lost and-”

“Taehyunnie, where are you? I’m coming to you, I’m so sorry. Tell me where you are, or- Send me your location, I’ll come and pick you up.” He’d do that? Just like that, despite- “Wait- Fuck, shit, I’ll unblock you. I’m so fucking sorry, I- I’m unblocking and you can send me your location, alright? I’ll be there soon.” Taehyun nodded, despite knowing that Yeonjun couldn’t see it through the phone, yet he knew that if he said something, his voice would probably break. “I’m gonna end the call and unblock you. Stay safe, okay?”

“Okay-” The call ended and Taehyun let out an unstable sign, his legs beginning to feel weaker again. He raised his head, tears burning in his eyes, to signalise the woman that he was done using her phone. She quickly approached him and took her phone, tilting her head.

“Do you need something? Some water?” Taehyun shook his head, instead got his phone to open the chat with Yeonjun. The one he had scrolled up and down the past few days, rereading their silly messages and chats. Previously a painful ‘You cannot send this user a message’ was stopping him from reaching out to Yeonjun, but now, it had disappeared again, and instead showed a ‘Jun is typing…’. Taehyun held his breath, waiting for the short message to appear.

‘im so sorry, please send me your location and i promis ill be there asap’. Taehyun managed to send his location, hands shaking, somewhat scared of seeing Yeonjun again and yet wanting nothing more than him. ‘this isnt far away from my home’ he then continued to text, ‘im on my way, please stay safe okay?’.

Now how long did he have to wait? How much longer did he have to hold himself here on his shaking legs and burning eyes and hurting fist and  _ aching _ heart? What was Yeonjun even going to do? How would he treat Taehyun now, after everything he had said, after not speaking to him in almost a week?

Well but he was worried, right? He seemed to be worried, why else would he be on his way to pick him up now? Whatever Yeonjun was going to do, it was  _ enough _ , just him being there would be enough for Taehyun. Just his presence gave him a feeling of safety, and that was exactly what Taehyun needed now, because he was unstable, everything about him was threatening to fall apart.

“Is he coming?” The Lady asked, and Taehyun nodded. “Do you want to sit down maybe?” Taehyun once again nodded as his legs became weaker with every second, and she gestured over to a chair behind the counter onto which Taehyun quickly fell. The woman crouched down once again to scan Taehyun with a motherly sparkle in her big eyes.

“Poor boy, what happened to you? Those scratches on your arm look terrible!” They weren’t that terrible, not deep enough to bleed at least.

“I- someone grabbed me, it’s okay.” She gasped.

“That doesn’t sound good though… I hope your boyfriend will be here soon, poor boy…”

‘I hope so too.’ Taehyun sighed heavily, closing his eyes as the world around him began spinning. He needed him. Now, right now. How foolish of him to think that he could go longer than a few days without Yeonjun.

Taehyun opened his eyes again when someone finally,  _ fucking finally _ , called out his name.

“Taehyun?” Taehyuns eyes met Yeonjun. Finally, he had missed them so much. Taehyun jumped up from his chair, a bit too quickly though, causing him to stumble a bit.

“Hey, slowly!” The cashier woman quickly too his arm. “Don’t rush!” Then she looked over to Yeonjun. “You’re his boyfriend?” His eyes widened, and he hesitated for a second. Then he slowly nodded.

“Yeah. Is he okay?” The woman let go of Taehyun now, and he came forward, not being sure if he could fall into Yeonjuns arms now like he wanted to do so badly.

“He stormed in and almost collapsed and said someone grabbed him, he was so out of breath-”

“Someone… grabbed you?” Yeonjun lowered his voice, his tone a mix of worry and anger. “Kiwoon?” Taehyun pressed his eyes shut, having missed the boys voice so much, and nodded. “Fuck him, I’m gonna- Let’s go home, Taehyun. We’ll go home, okay?” Taehyun nodded once again, taking a deep breath, opening his eyes again. Yeonjun turned to the woman, smiling at her tiredly. “Thank you so much, Ma’am.”

“No problem.” She smiled back at them. “Get home safely, okay!” The two nodded, left the small convenience store.

Now they were walking down those empty streets again. Two boys, so painfully in love with each other, walking side by side, and not touching once. Not even speaking a word. Just silently walking. And yet, Taehyun felt safe. He felt like he was with the right person again.

After just a few minutes, the area began to look more familiar to Taehyun again. The skies had darkened a lot already as he sun was setting, yet he knew those buildings around them. It might have been true that most of them looked identical to each other, but Taehyun had given his best to memorize them, and every smallest difference between them, when he was here the last time. When he had visited Yeonjun for the last time. He recognized the apartment building they were approaching.

Only when they entered the hallway, Yeonjun began speaking up.

“Are you cold?”

“Yes.” Taehyun was pretty much freezing, the outside having turned cooler with every minute. He had shoved up one sleeve as the fabric was kind of hurting when touching the scratches on his forearm, so it had been ice cold by now.

“I’ll get you something to warm up. You want a tea maybe?”

“I’m good. Thank you.” The two continued to saw nothing until they reached Yeonjuns apartment. He pulled out his keys, unlocked the door, then stepped back to let Taehyun in first.

Taehyun remembered the last time he had entered this apartment, a memory he wished to forget. He wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen that day, but right now, he was even more uncertain. Maybe Yeonjun would just… let him in, and let him warm up before just sending him away again. Or maybe they could- talk.

Taehyun had to tell him now, right? He had the opportunity to confess everything now. He had to say it, and he was going to, he swore that to himself. Yet he was scared of Yeonjuns reaction. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be with Taehyun anymore, honestly, it’d be understandable. He had hurt him in the past, so who knew if he’d do it again?

Entering Yeonjuns apartment felt weird, because obviously, Taehyun had connected it with bad things, with lies he had regretted saying by now. And yet it was warm in there, just what Taehyun needed.

“You can… get to my room if you want. Right over there, the door is open. I’ll… take a look at these nasty scratches then. Let me get some bandaids maybe.”

At first Taehyun hesitated, yet the thought of just sitting, or maybe laying down sounded fantastic. He was cold, he felt weak and tired, and now just… getting rest was what he needed so much. He slowly entered the room.

It was still quite messy, it didn’t seem like Yeonjun already had the time to unpack everything, but it was nice looking. Something Taehyun would expect from Yeonjun. A room that just looked like him, quite modern and simple, but not cold, instead still surprisingly welcoming and cozy.

Taehyun slowly sat down on the bed. It was soft, kind of bouncy. He exhaled. It was nice here, but Taehyun didn’t like that. He didn’t like how he already felt at home when he still wasn’t sure if he’d ever be here again. He… felt sad, honestly. Or maybe tired. Exhausted. And worried, he was so fucking worried about how this short visit would end.

He lifted his right hand up slightly to take a look at his knuckles. Stil reddened, still hurting, but much less than before. Damn. If it even still hurt  _ his _ hand, how fucked up was Kiwoons nose then? He would have been proud of himself but honestly he had never hurt someone physically before, and it was kind of weird, like it wasn’t right for him to do that. Kiwoon deserved it though. Plus, it was just self defence. Yet as much as Taehyun tried to justified it, it felt weird. It wasn’t wrong to do, but it was weird nonetheless.

“I don’t-” Yeonjun now entered the room too, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the bed with quite a bit of distance between the two. “I don’t have any bandaids here, I… I hope you don’t need any?”

“I- I don’t think so. No. But thank you.” Taehyun didn’t look up. God, he hated this, he hated how distant they were, and yet loved that they were… just in the same room again.

“What happened?”

“I was just… taking a walk I guess. Bumped into Kiwoon. And- We kind of got into a fight I guess-”   
“What? Fuck, Taehyun- What- Did he do something-”

“It’s fine. He tried to punch me but he didn’t hit and he grabbed my arms and kind of scratched me when I tried to get away and- My hand hurts now, but it’s… okay.” Taehyun saw Yeonjuns hand flinch, about to reach out for his, but he seemed to hold himself back. Why’d he do that, when Taehyun wanted nothing more than to finally be in contact with Yeonjun again?

“He’s gonna- pay for touching you, I can’t believe this. I’m so- Fuck this, this is all because of me-”

“Yeonjun, don’t. Don’t get mad. I’m okay now.”

“You know I still… I still want you to be safe, Taehyun.”

“I’m here now. I’m as safe as it can get.” This would feel so familiar if it wasn’t for the distance between them. A distance Taehyun wanted to close. “Yeonjun?” Yeonjun looked up. “I miss you.” Now Taehyun had absolutely no control anymore, his eyes were filling up with tears and he didn’t even bother to try stop them, blink them away, he just let them roll over his cheeks.

“Taehyunnie, no-” Yeonjun moved just the slightest bit closer to Taehyun, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t close enough. And Taehyun couldn’t stand it anymore. So he nearly jumped to Yeonjun, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as he could. Yeonjun immediately pulled Taehyun close to him and- he let his hand brush through Taehyuns hair again, like he had always done, playing with it so gently.

Finally. Taehyun was home. And he didn’t bother to hold back his tears. He cried, out loud, sobbing into Yeonjuns hoodie, letting his freezing body be warmed up by Yeonjuns warmth and love. God, fucking finally.

“I’ve been so dumb, I’m so so sorry!”

“Taehyunnie, what-”

“I’m so fucking stupid, I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“Taehyun, it’s okay…” Contrary to what Yeonjun had  _ said _ , his voice sounded hurt and exhausted. Like nothing was okay. And of course it wasn’t, for neither of them. “I’m gonna be over it.”

“No, no, but I don’t-”  _ I don’t want you to get over it. _ He just didn’t manage to say what he wanted to say. It felt like he didn’t deserve to confess. Not after what he had said before. Yeonjuns heart got broken because of him, and now it was his turn, now he was the one to be in pain because he deserved it, but-

“Just please don’t cry because of it. It’s okay. Don’t cry, strawberry boy.”

“Yours.  _ Your _ strawberry boy.”

“You… you’re not mine, Taehyun.”

“But I wish I was.” Taehyun huffed, clinging tighter onto Yeonjuns body, as if he’d just disappear if he didn’t hold him close enough. “I just wish I belonged to you again.” Just as his breathing had gotten a bit more stable again, he broke out in sobs for another time.

“Taehyun?”

“I w-was so fucking dumb and I don’t know why- I said it when I just- so obviously-”

“Taehyun, hey, calm down… Take a breath…”

“I feel so stupid, and I hurt you so much, and I wish you’d just- you’d just forget me but I also don’t  _ want _ you to forget me because-”

“What are you saying?”

“-Because I don’t want someone else to have you,  _ I _ want to be with you! But I don’t fucking deserve you after making you feel like- like everything we had was a lie-”

“Are you- slow down, I don’t understand-” Taehyun felt a sting in his heart when Yeonjun removed his hand from his hair, slightly moving out of Taehyuns hug. No, he couldn’t let go- He couldn’t leave him now, let go of him like that. “What are you trying to say right now?” Now what hurt even more was seeing Yeonjuns face like this, confused and hurt, and tears sparkling in his eyes. He was clearly trying to hold the tears back. Taehyun held his breath.

“I love you too.” Saying those words felt oddly relieving, and yet agonizing. It was too late. Too late for him to fix it, no matter how much he loved Yeonjun, how much he told him that he loved him. Right?

Yeonjun just stared at him for a few seconds, then he closed his eyes and… smiled? His lips curled upwards ever so slightly, then he exhaled.

“Do you really?” Of course, there was no need to believe Taehyun now when he claimed before that everything he did was nothing but an act. But he had to let Yeonjun know that what he was saying now was nothing but the truth.

“I love you, Yeonjun. And I need you. And I don’t know what to do without you. I fucked up and I just didn’t understand what I was feeling and I’m such a dumbass, I- I really fucking love you so much, I wish I could make it all better-”

“Make it better, Taehyun.” Yeonjun lifted his hand up to Taehyuns cheek, wiping away one of his tears gently. Taehyun blinked a few times, almost taken aback by Yeonjuns action, until he understood.

How to better heal a broken heart than with a kiss?

And finally, Taehyun leaned in. Finally, this time full of nothing but truth, real love. Finally a kiss Taehyun knew he wanted to happen so badly, one he admitted to craving. He’d experience the most beautiful feeling in the world again.

If it wasn’t for- Taehyun jumped a bit when he heard a buzz, coming from the pockets of his jackets.

“Not again,” he murmured as he pulled away slowly, quickly throwing a sorry glance over to Yeonjun. This reminded him too much the situation that happened just about two weeks ago. How come that they always got interrupted?

“Again?”

“I’ll- I’ll tell you later.” Taehyun pulled out his phone.  _ Hyuka🧡💕  _ was written on the screen. Why was  _ Kai _ out of all people calling him now? Taehyun sighed, then simply muted his phone, throwing it on the bed farther away from them. He looked back at Yeonjuns now quite surprised face.

“Maybe it was importa-”

“I’ve got a broken heart to fix. That’s more important.” A small chuckle escaped Yeonjuns lips when Taehyun finally put his hands on Yeonjuns shoulders, tilted his head slightly, and pulled him in.

And when their lips finally touched and Taehyun closed his eyes shut, he felt at peace. Like all the things that had happened today, and this entire week, didn’t matter anymore, had never happened in the first place. Time was standing still, making this moment eternal.

Yeonjuns lips felt beautiful, they were pillowy, especially his bottom lip. They were soft and- Indeed tasted just the slightest bit like strawberry. A warm excited feeling rushed through Taehyuns body when Yeonjun placed his hands on his waist. Their lips moved in perfect harmony, as if they had been training for his moment, which, in a way, they had. Taehyun tilted his head just a bit more, his hands moved from Yeonjuns shoulders to his neck, then finally his cheeks, cupping them gently. Then, Taehyun reluctantly pulled away, his face still close to Yeonjuns.

“I really do love you,” Taehyun whispered against Yeonjuns lips.

“I know now. And I love you too.” And Yeonjun pulled him back in. These words had made this second kiss so much better. Because they were genuine. They had been real, just like the kiss, which wasn’t driven by the goal to fool anyone or act out some stupid character, but by actual, real fucking love. Yeonjun and Taehyun loved each other, both of them were so deeply in love and now… they got to show it. Without any conflicting feelings that tried to tell them that maybe this love was nothing but an act. And Taehyun once again noticed salty tears stream down his face.

Taehyun was overwhelmed. By the sudden turn of events for one, all his worries turning into nothing as Yeonjun passionately kissed him instead of rightfully blaming him for his broken hearts. But more so by Yeonjuns gentleness as he continued to pull him closer, holding him with such softness and  _ adoration _ . He was overwhelmed with the way these beautiful lips felt, and how sometimes they smiled against his. He was overwhelmed by the perfection that was Yeonjun.

But, as hard as it was to just stop like that, that perfect boy pulled away after a while. He exhaled softly, looked at Taehyun, blinked a few times. Then he smiled ever so slightly, scanning Taehyuns still tear stained face. He once again wiped some of those tears away, and let his hands rest there, on Taehyuns cheek.

“Will you stop crying for me?”

“But I hurt you-”

“And just now you’ve healed me.” And as much as Taehyun wanted to stop crying, he couldn’t really. Things just felt so dreamlike, beautifully surreal. How on earth did he manage to turn this around? How did Yeonjun forgive him that easily? “I love you, Taehyun. Really all I wanted was to have you back. I’m too in love with you to be mad.” And there it was, his answer. Taehyun still wasn’t sure if he really deserved this, but… He enjoyed this anyways. Yeonjun was happy. That was all that mattered.

“You’re really cold, Taehyunnie. I’ll get you something warm, okay? Do you wanna check in with Kai?” Taehyun slowly nodded, then reached out for his phone. He slightly gasped as he unlocked it and was greeted with tons of missed messages and calls.

  
  


**_Hyuka🧡💕_ **

_ hiiii tyunnie !! _

_ jst wanted to check in w u _

_ bc ur dad just asked if u were @ my place _

_ bc ur not home frm ur walk yet _

_ so i wanted to see if ur doing good ! _

_ plz reply soon okay ! <3 _

_ hyunniiieeee _

_ its gettin dark :c _

_ r u alright?? _

_ hellooooo _

_ can u plz answer meeee _

_ im gettin really worried :c _

_ hellooo?? _

_ tyun ur dad is also scared _

_ hello?? _

_ missed call _

_ i hope ur okay _

_ im rly worried _

_ plz when u read this message me asap _

_ i hope nohting happened _

Now Taehyun immediately started feeling guilty, but thankfully, the last message was sent just a minute ago and Kai was still online.

_ I’m so sorry! _

_ I’m okay _

_ I got into a bit of trouble but I’m at Yeonjuns house now _

_ sorry!! _

_ thank god ur ok omg _

_ u really scared me :c _

_ im gonna tell ur dad that ur fine :c _

_ tell him that I’m safe okay! _

_ I’ll try text him tomorrow _

_ wait _

_ WAAIT _

_ ur at ,,, _

_ yeonjun hyungs place ???? _

_ WhAT _

_ oh _

_ I’ll tell you soon _

_ but uh _

_ NO BUT R U GETTING ALONG !!! _

_ DO U AHVE A BF NOW _

_ A REAL BF _

_ well- _

  
  


Taehyun looked up from his phone to take a look at Yeonjun who was standing in front of his wardrobe, pulling out a big red hoodie. He then turned around, a big warm smile on his lips, holding up the hoodie.

“It’s one of my favourite ones. You can wear it, it’s nice and warm and- You’ll look cute in it!” Yeonjun threw it over to Taehyun, who gave his best to catch it. It was soft indeed.

  
  


_ I think I do _

_ FUJHJFKJVKLJJHKDNF _

_ YES _

_ AAAAAAAAAA _

_ oh man that was faster than expected _

_ BUT YESYESEYESYESE!!!!!! _

_ AAAAAA im rly excited omg u need to tell me everythingrrgrhg _

_ okayokay _

_ ill leave u _

_ omg have fun _

_ ill tell ur dad ur staying at yeonjuns place _

_ aaaaa hav fun !!!!! _

Taehyun sighed and smiled at his phone, then put it away. He took off his jacket and pulled the hoodie over his head, almost disappearing in it completely. It was fluffy, warm, and smelled like Yeonjun. Like home, and like happiness.

Yeonjun sat down next to Taehyun again, tiredly smiling at him. Was it real now?  _ Were _ they together now, or… He sighed once again, wiping the last tears left on his cheeks away.

“What did he want?” Yeonjun asked as he nodded at Taehyuns phone.

“My dad called him because I wasn’t home yet and they got worried. I told him that I’m okay though. That I’m at your place now.”

“I see… wait,  _ did _ you tell him that we- you know. Were… fake? Kind of?”

“Yes, cried in his arms about it for a while.” Taehyun huffed. “He, uhm… helped me a bit with coming to my senses. He was surprised hearing that I’m at your place now though.”

“Oh? Surprised that got it sorted out already?”

“Well…” Taehyun smiled lightly, rested his arms on Yeonjuns shoulders as he pulled him a bit closer. “He  _ did _ ask if we’re  _ real _ boyfriends now.”

“Are we?”

“Sure hope we are.” Instead of answering, Yeonjun leaned in to kiss Taehyun once again. A short and sweet one this time, but certainly a beautiful one. All of this felt so natural, which wasn’t surprising really, because they were practically used to this. They had kissed a few times, and with every kiss, it became more real, even if Taehyun didn’t want to admit it back then.

But now it really, truly  _ was _ real. No doubt, no fear, no worry, no act, but love. And that was a feeling so overwhelming, so exciting, something Taehyun definitely hadn’t felt before. But he was glad he got to experience this feeling. He was glad he got to find out what love was, together with Yeonjun. Or rather, thanks to Yeonjun.

“Well since you’re my boyfriend now, I can say all these things I had to hold back before.” Yeonjun eyed Taehyun, his eyes sparkling. “You really are the most beautiful person I have ever met. Like you’re  _ actually _ the prettiest boy in the world. And I love your pretty big sparkling eyes, and your soft hands, and your pillowy peachy lips, and-”

“Juni, come on, I-” Taehyun felt heat rush into his cheeks. God, he could have said that earlier. He really wouldn’t have minded to hear such things from the  _ actual _ most beautiful person in the world.

“No, let me say this. I’ve had it on my mind for too long.” Yeonjun smiled at him, so unbelievably fondly, then softly grabbed him by the waist to pull him on his lap. “I love your pretty nose and I love your soft hair, and I love when you curl it a bit… I love how your body looks, and I think your tiny waist is so pretty and endearing… And you just look so delicate and beautiful, and I just want to hold you and look at you all day because you’re just  _ that _ pretty-”

“God, Yeonjun!” Taehyun tried to look a bit annoyed, but failed miserably, not being able to hide how flustered he was. “You’ve got a lot to say, huh?”

“I’ve got more! I love your voice and the way you speak, and I lo- mh!” Yeonjun didn’t get to finish his sentence when Taehyun pulled him in for a kiss again, his hands brushing through Yeonjuns hair as he tilted his head slightly. Those soft lips were so awfully addicting. Taehyun tried to pull away, yet Yeonjun let out a whine, pulling Taehyun in again. Taehyun smiled against his lips. Who would have thought that he was this clingy?

Well, Taehyun had seen him like this before, some time ago when he was drunk. And he suddenly remembered all those love confessions he had gotten back then already and had simply brushed off as drunk nonsense, when it was pretty much genuine all along.

“I thought…” Taehyun separated his lips from Yeonjuns for just a moment. “...you still had so much to say?”

“You got me to shut up quickly, Hyunnie. Now come on, don’t just stop! I’ve waited for this for too long!” Well Yeonjun really  _ did _ deserve his fair share of kisses now, after all he’s been through. So… why stop? Why not not give him more of what he, what  _ both _ of them wanted?

Taehyuns lips felt quite sore, but is heart was warm. The two were just laying on the bed, Taehyuns head resting on Yeonjuns chest, arms wrapped around him. A thing quite familiar for the two of them.

It was funny how fast they could fall back into that ‘boyfriend mode’, how easy it was for them to just kiss like that and cuddle, be close to each other when their ‘real’ relationship had just started now. Because they had been like this before, all this time, for a month. And they grew comfortable around each other so quickly. Taehyun really should have known. You don’t act like this with your  _ friend _ who you have no feelings for. But Taehyun really was too dense to understand.

But, past was past, and what he now knew was that he loved Yeonjun with his entire being, and Yeonjun loved him back. And now they’d just rest here on his bed, holding each other, not saying anything but instead just enjoying eachothers closeness and warmth. And Taehyun couldn’t have been happier.

“Babe?” Taehyuns heart skipped a beat when Yeonjun called him that. He only hummed in response. “Are you tired?”

“A bit.”

“We can sleep if you want. You can have some of my clothes too if you want. Comfier pants maybe?” Once again, Taehyun hummed. He didn’t quite want to get up now, laying in Yeonjuns arms was amazingly comfortable, yet he ended up lifting his head, then his entire body to sit up. Yeonjun got up, once again opened his wardrobe. “My clothes are a bit big on you but I guess…” He pulled out a pair of simple black sweatpants. “These will work.” He once again threw them over to Taehyun on the bed. “I’ll be right back, getting ready. You need anything, something to drink or-”   
“You,” Taehyun just mumbled. Yeonjuns eyes widened.

“Oh. Well… you’ll have me. In a few minutes, okay?” Taehyun grinned as he nodded, and when Yeonjun left the room, he got ready for bed. He really had missed sleeping in a bed with Yeonjun.

Those pants were indeed a bit too big on Taehyun, but it was fine, it wasn’t like he was going to jump around somewhere, and they were a lot more comfortable than his jeans. He was now sitting cross-legged on the bed, waiting for Yeonjun to return so that he could finally sleep, preferably in his arms. And when he finally did enter the room, Taehyun smiled brightly.

“Come here already!”

“Couldn’t go a few minutes without me?” Yeonjun threw himself next to Taehyun, who immediately nuzzled his head into the crook of Yeonjuns neck.

“Had to go this past week without you. That was enough.” Yeonjuns hand moved up to Taehyuns head.

“You’re quite the clingy baby.”

“Weren’t you the one who started whining when I pulled away earlier?”

“Well yeah. How dare you just pull away?”

“Ah, sorry. Should have considered it. Can’t believe I was about to  _ stop _ kissing you!”

“Shut up, strawberry boy!”

“You forgot something.”

“Hm?” Now Taehyun lifted his head, looking at Yeonjun with a slight pout.

“ _ Whos _ strawberry boy am I?”

“Oh.” Yeonjun smiled tiredly. “Mine. You’re  _ mine _ .”

And that was pretty much enough to guarantee Taehyun a good sleep. He was exhausted, tired, but god, he felt warm, happy, fulfilled. And most importantly, he felt safe.

“Yeonjun?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Taehyuns boyfriend said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is... the chapter we've all pretty much been waiting for. GOOD GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. DO YALL EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I WAS CRAVING THESE KISS SCENES AAAAA anyways im just so. ah. at peace now. And this is kind of? My fave chapter? Yes?
> 
> moving on, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE! We just reached 5k hits and now its 5.6k already????? aaaa proud-
> 
> also, only 3 chapters are left now.... I'm... just sad.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh
> 
> uuuhm...  
> sorry for taking so long :D i uhm
> 
> got distracted.
> 
> anyways have fun :D

Yeonjun had woken up, yet didn’t dare to open his eyes and turn to the side. Because he was scared. He was scared that Taehyun wouldn’t be next to him anymore. That he would have changed his mind, and left early in the morning. Or maybe, it was all a dream, and Yeonjun was still as lonely as he had been before.

And yet, Yeonjun managed to find the courage to open his eyes, turning his head to the right side. And of course, he wasn’t met with disappointment, but rather with… the sleeping beauty. A boy with messy red hair, eyes closed shut, peachy lips parted slightly. His boyfriend was laying down next to him, cuddled into Yeonjuns hoodie, sleeping so tightly.

Taehyun reminded him of a prince. Or maybe, an angel? Or a fairy? Certainly his beauty was otherworldly. The way he looked so at peace, it made Yeonjun feel full of love and warmth. Yeonjun admired his facial features, his pretty eyes, plump, peach coloured lips. His skin looked soft, his hair silky, the bright red colour having washed out into a slightly more muted tone. He was beautiful. There was nothing more to say, other than, he was beautiful.

And he was still here. And he truly  _ was _ his now. Yeonjun couldn’t take his eyes off of Taehyuns pouty lips. It was hard to believe that just yesterday, he was able to kiss them, freely, without worry, without having to fear or hide anything. Today he’d be kissing them again, and tomorrow and- preferably every day.

Taehyun was his boyfriend. The two were in love with each other and there was no acting left. The thing Yeonjun had almost given up on really had happened. He reminded himself of it again and again, getting it in his head, because it still felt like a dream.

Since Taehyun was still sleeping, Yeonjun quietly turned around to grab his phone from the side of his bed. He had missed quite a few messages, not bothering to check his phone once after he picked up Taehyun yesterday. He didn’t scroll up much, just read the first few messages that appeared on his screen.

  
  


**_soogyu n the 3rd wheel_ **

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ ft calm down i doubt hes dead _

_ Soobib _

_ you never know?????? _

_ i mean then again _

_ bicth has been crying a lolt recently so _

_ he needs sleep _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ thats what ive been saying _

_ let him sleep _

_ Soobib _

_ yeah but liek???? _

_ its been like idk 16 hours or something _

_ since he hasnt answered _

_ thats a lot of sleep??? _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ binnie pls _

_ hes fine _

_ you can call him later _

_ Me _

_ tf did you just call him binnie _

_ Soobib _

_ HES AALIVE _

_ BRUH JJUN WHERE THE FUCK HABE YOU BEEN _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ its called “love” jun _

_ also hi _

_ we thought u died _

_ Me _

_ well yeah in a way i did ??? ahaha _

_ also dont tell me shit about “love” sir _

_ AND i have noT????? been crying????? _

_ i stopped crying on idk thursday or so _

_ Soobib _

_ becaus u started drinking instead?? :D _

_ Me _

_.a bit maybe but thats not the point aNYWAYS _

_ good morning <3 _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ good morning mind explaining what was going on _

_ Soobib _

_ YEAH where have u been ):< _

_ Me _

_ :D _

_ doin things _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ hh _

_ doesnt sound good man _

_ Soobib _

_ okay but how do u feel?? _

_ you havent been in school this week so _

_ if you feel lonely u know we can come ober??? _

_ Me _

_ i dont feel lonely _

_ not at all actually _

_ ive got someone with me _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_???? _

_ JUN???? _

_ IS IT???? _

_ ARE YOU?????????? _

_ Soobib _

_??? _

_ have you gotten a puppie or _

_ Me _

_ almost :D _

_ like a puppy but cuter _

_ n hes right next to me right now _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ no fucking way _

_ youre kidding _

  
  


_ Soobib _

_ WAIT OMG IM DUMB _

_ BRUH WHAGTTG _

_ ARE YOU FOR REAL _

_ Me _

_ not kidding _

_ at all _

_ we are for real _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ “we” fuck off im gonna sob _

_ Soobib _

_ YOU??? _

_ AND???? _

_ Me _

_ taehyun _

_ my boyfriend _

_ Soobib _

_ FUFUJCDMVJN _

_ YES OH GOD REALLY OMG _

_ HOW THE BFUCK _

_?=???= _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ i swear im not a pussy but _

_ what the fuck _

_ there are tears in my fucking eyes jun wtf _

_ how did that happen _

_ Me _

_ im gonna?? _

_ tell you later _

_ im gonna be busy rn _

_ Soobib _

_ BUSY LOVBING YOUR BOYFRIEND _

_ HELL YEA _

_ HAVE FUN BRO IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU WTF _

_ HHRHRGRRHGHRG!!!!Q _

_ Choi Bitchgyu _

_ holy shit man i have no idea how that happened but im happy for you _

_ like for real wtf this is great _

_ take your time _

_ oh my god _

_ suddenly feeling lonely _

_ Soobib _

_ YOU WHORE _

_ I WAS AT YOUR PLACE YESTERDAY _

_ AND NOW YOU FEEL LONELY _

_ maybe if u said the b word alreasy u wouldnt feel lonely ):< _

_ Me _

_ lol ur gay _

_ anyways _

_ ill talk to you soon _

Yeonjun muted his phone and put it away again, turning his head to Taehyun. A pair of tired eyes was looking at him now, lighting up when they met Yeonjuns. Taehyuns lips curled up into a smile as he closed his eyes again.

“Good morning,” he whispered with a sweet and sleepy voice.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.” Taehyun huffed, quietly. “No nightmares.”

“You get nightmares?”

“A lot. When I’m unwell. But…” And he opened his eyes again. “I think I’ve never felt better.”

“Oh?” Yeonjun grinned at him, sitting up. Taehyun did the same. “And why is that?”

“Guess why, dumbass.” And Taehyun leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss against his boyfriend's lips. Every kiss he had ever shared with Taehyun had been beautiful, though some might have hurt. But this one, this was his favourite out of all of them. Such a short yet sweet one, a serious and truthful one, one that soon would just become routine.

“Well, I’m guessing… It’s because of your boyfriend?”

“It feels good to be able to call you that, you know. Like… We’re real now. And we could have been all this time if I wasn’t such an idiot. But I guess I just-”

“Taehyun, stop it already. It’s fine now, we are together, right? We are each others now.”

“I know it’s fine, I’m glad it ended like this but if I’m being honest-” Taehyuns eyes got bigger, but at the same time they looked guilty as he looked at Yeonjun. “I don’t get how you just… forgave me that fast?”

“Hyunnie Baby… come here, you’re silly!” Yeonjun quickly pulled his boyfriend into his arms.

“But seriously! I feel lucky but also- I don’t understand how you-”   
“Because I love you.” Yeonjun shook his head as he began playing with Taehyuns hair again. “That last week was hard for me but it didn’t make me love you any less, you know. It’s like… I got hurt by you but you made up for it? Like… the happiness I feel to be with you outweighs the pain I felt before.” Taehyun wrapped his arms around Yeonjuns body and softly chuckled.

“That sounds so dramatic, please.”

“As if this entire past month wasn’t dramatic.”

“Then let’s end the drama. Our act is over so let’s be natural again.”

“Are you saying that we haven’t acted amazingly natural before?” Now Yeonjun moved away a bit to look at Taehyun, a smile on his lips.

“Wasn’t it just a bit awkward for you when the two of us were alone?”

“It wasn’t really, until…” Yeonjun began pouting. “You  _ made _ it awkward.”

“What? When did I make anything awkward?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe when we, you know, kissed and then you told me to forget about it and proceeded to talk about snakes? Yeah,  _ that _ was awkward.” Now Taehyuns eyes widened and a pink colour began dyeing his face.

“N-Not that, Juni, what was I supposed to do-”   
“Ah, maybe just not pull away and kiss me again instead?”

“But back then I didn’t know- I mean I was kind of- Uh-”

“Yeah? You were  _ what _ ?”   
“Well, saying I wasn’t in love with you at that time would be a lie but I think…” Taehyun sighed, looking down. “I just didn’t get it. I was a bit too confused, I thought my feelings weren’t… real, you know.”

“And you still kissed me.”

“Yeah, because my heart told me that I liked you and my brain told me that I don’t and I’m just really bad at understanding why my heart makes me want to do things. So I did it without knowing why. I remember that when you left-” He once again sighed, coming closer to Yeonjun to lean on him. “I started crying because I didn’t know why all that happened. We could have just talked it out back then and everything would have been… good.”

“Everything’s good  _ now _ .”

“I just don’t get how you still-”

“I love you.”

“After all?”

“Still love you. And I won’t stop any time soon.”

“Honestly I hope you’ll never stop. Ever.” Taehyun put his arms around Yeonjuns neck, looking at him with gleaming eyes. Please, how could he ever stop loving a boy like this. It simply wasn’t possible to one day look at him and say that he wasn’t the most perfect human being on the planet anymore.

“I won’t. Ever.” Yeonjun pulled his boyfriend closer, caressing his cheek as he smiled at him. It was a dream come true. He wouldn’t ever let go of that dream, that dream that was now reality, even though it all still seemed unreal.

“Juni?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you very much.” And Taehyun moved forward a bit to press his lips on Yeonjuns once again, this time not pulling away that quickly, instead deepening the kiss. What a perfect morning. Pretty much the most beautiful way to start the day. Kissing your  _ real  _ boyfriend.

Yeonjun got his fair share of morning kisses, yet it left him hungry nonetheless. Not for kisses (though he would have gratefully taken more of those), instead it was simply food he wanted right now. He hadn’t eaten in quite some time, he had no dinner yesterday, and Taehyun, too, must’ve been starving. So, sooner or later, they had to get up. And as much as Taehyun continued to cling to Yeonjuns arm, he managed to shake him off softly.

“Come on, aren’t you hungry?” Yeonjun grinned at his boyfriend as he tiredly whined.

“Yes, but I’m also- Still sleepy.”

“And maybe a nice breakfast will wake you up a bit? A coffee maybe?” Taehyun only scrunched his nose a bit.

“Not a big fan of coffee…”

“A tea?”

“If it’s strawberry?”

“I don’t really have anything else home. You know me.”

“Right.” Taehyun smiled and stretched his arms, yawning cutely. “You’re obsessed with strawberries.” Yeonjun got up from the bed, holding out his hands for Taehyun to grab to lift himself off too.

“Guess that’s why I’m so obsessed with you?” He smirked as Taehyun finally jumped up, tiredly stumbling into his arms and once again holding onto his boyfriends body.

“Wow, you’re kinda really cheesy.”

“That’s nothing new, Taehyun. I have been all this time.”

“But I always kinda shrugged it off and now I’m allowing myself to enjoy it for the first time.” Taehyun didn’t seem to let go of Yeonjun anytime soon. A clingy baby, huh? “I mean I’ve always enjoyed… when you like, flirted, you know, but- It was kinda different because I thought-” Taehyun now hesitated, then giggled quietly. “Whatever. What do we eat?”

“You want some pancakes maybe?”

“Can you make pancakes?”   
“Wouldn’t offer them if I couldn’t make them, right?”

“Then go make some…” Taehyuns voice started sounding sleepy once again.

“I would, but- You’d need to let go of me first, you know…?” Taehyun sighed once again, let go, and fell back onto the bed.

“I’m too tired, Juni. I don’t think I can get up.”

Yeonjun crossed his arms, grinning at the boy on his bed who closed his eyes yet again. Adorable, how cuddly and cozy he looked in that big hoodie, with his hair still messy. It was like he belonged here.

“You can stay in bed for a bit longer if you want. I’ll go make pancakes and tell you when they’re ready.”   
“And if I fall asleep again?”   
“I’ll eat them all by myself.”

“Juni, you’re so stupid!”

“And you’re a whiny baby!”

“You go make our pancakes already! Your whiny baby is hungry!”

“Look at me having to do all the work in this relationship already!” Yeonjun fake sighed, then crossed his arms. “I mean I’d do anything for you if you asked but-” And now he just grinned. “Whatever. I’ll go make some batter, you can join whenever you want?” Taehyun hummed, keeping his eyes closed. He had a soft smile on his lips himself, seemingly feeling just as cozy and at home as Yeonjun did.

Actually, this apartment never really felt like a real home. Yeonjun thought that maybe it was because he hadn’t spent much time in it yet, but then he  _ did _ end up spending much time here, though that time was mostly used by staring into the void and, as much as Yeonjun wanted to forget it, crying. So after those past two or so weeks, it really only felt like some sort of shelter, just a place to rest but not a place to  _ live _ .

Until now. Because Taehyun made it different. Kind of complete. Both his room and now the small kitchen he had just entered felt illuminated, lively. Home. Just because he knew that Taehyun was still in his room, on his bed, in his hoodie, waiting for him to make some breakfast.

Taehyun made things feel alive. And just now Yeonjun noticed how his feelings were able to change so quickly because of Taehyun. They always had. Not only did he feel happy or sad quickly because of him, but Taehyun was able to make him feel protective, jealous, worried at times, and most importantly, calm and safe. Taehyuns voice and his presence would often give Yeonjun a sense of safety. And holding him was like carrying a treasure that  _ Yeonjun _ had to keep safe.

Yeonjun softly hummed as he started making the pancake batter, one he had made quite often already, for Soobin or Beomgyu or himself when his parents didn’t really bother to provide him some sort of food. It was a really sweet one, sometimes he put in chocolate or cinnamon or strawberries, depending on the season.

Yeonjun had no strawberries home, sadly, or he would have put some on Taehyuns pancake. Cheesy, yes, but Yeonjun didn’t really care how cheesy and annoying and disgustingly in love he was, because god, he enjoyed this so much. He enjoyed thinking of Taehyun and thinking about being in love with him, completely unapologetically. He wasn’t unsure anymore, he wasn't scared or guilty when the thought of Taehyun being with him, genuinely, crossed his mind. It was all true now, real, and Yeonjun wanted nothing more than to really appreciate it to the fullest right now.

The pancake batter sizzled in the pan as Yeonjun slowly poured it in, and a pleasant smell filled the apartment. It smelled like childhood, at least that’s what Yeonjun imagined childhood to smell like, considering that his childhood was only a blur, no important memories other than playing with Soobin and his parents starting to care less and less about him.

Or maybe it wasn't the smell of that idealized childhood he couldn't have, but instead of a vivid youth; of being a teen in love, of being free now and living a dream. Maybe it was the smell of home, the home he finally arrived in. And exactly that sweet sugary smell of being home seemed to have attracted someone.

Two arms wrapped themselves around Yeonjuns body from behind as he swayed the pan a bit. He didn’t flinch, his eyes slightly widened in surprise though as Taehyun put his chin on Yeonjuns shoulder, then pressing a kiss onto his neck. Oh Boy. That was pretty much all he ever wanted.

"It smells so nice," Taehyun murmured against Yeonjuns skin.

"It'll taste nice too."

"Are you good at cooking?"

"I think, I am?"

"Mhh…" He giggled, kissing Yeonjuns neck and shoulder again. "Good. So no expensive dinner dates in overpriced restaurants."

"I would love to have a fancy dinner date with you though."

"We can just as nicely do it here at home, babe."

Yeonjun knew exactly that Taehyun melted everytime  _ he _ said "babe", but so did Yeonjun, just feeling like he was about to combust when Taehyun called him by some cheesy pet name. All of this was honestly too good to be true. Too perfect to be reality, too sudden to be something that wasn't just a product of Yeonjuns imagination.

And for a second, doubt hit Yeonjun. It really  _ was _ too good to be true, right? And yet it felt too realistic to be a dream of sorts.

"Taehyunnie?"

"Yes?"

Now Yeonjun didn’t quite know what he was supposed to say. A part of him simply wanted to ask him if he was real at all, but that was a terribly stupid question, wasn't it? And yet right at this moment, he couldn't be sure of it.

"You love me, right?"

"Obviously." Absolutely no hesitation from Taehyuns part. Yeonjun hummed, slowly nodding.

"That's good."

"That's good? You've waited a month for this to say 'That's good’?"

"Arg, Taehyun, I thought you were so tired-"

"I was." Taehyun hugged his boyfriend a bit tighter as he his his face in the crook of Yeonjuns neck. "But now I'm more hungry than tired."

"So you just came here to tell me to hurry up?"

"I came here to cuddle." He stayed silent for a few seconds, and then added: "And tell you to hurry up."

"Lucky you, the first one is almost done." Yeonjun flipped the pancake more or less skillfully, looked at it with a satisfied smile. "Looks good, right?"

"Amazing. Can I eat it now?" And now Taehyun let go of Yeonjuns back to take a better look at the almost golden pancake. His eyes began sparkling with a childlike excitement.

When Yeonjun had placed the pancake on a plate, sprinkling some powdered sugar on top of it, Taehyun had already sat down. Not on the sofa though, but on the kitchen counter. Cute how he looked even smaller now, not only drowning in the giant hoodie but also swinging his feet back and forth, looking at his breakfast being served with big eyes.

"Don't you wanna sit on the couch maybe?" Yeonjun gave Taehyun the plate and a fork right after, but the boy only shook his head.

"I wanna watch you make more so I'll just sit here. You know. Like a gay person." Yeonjun snorted.

"Right. I'll make your tea first."

Working in the kitchen with Taehyun softly humming an unknown melody as he enjoyed his pancake was probably Yeonjuns favourite thing. He really could get used to this. How nice must it be to live with Taehyun and do this every morning and just have him around all the time while he sits there cutely, looking so small and almost fragile.

He wasn’t, obviously, Taehyun wasn’t fragile in any way. He was strong and brave, he was able to voice his opinions and thoughts and feelings, if he had sorted them out that was. Taehyun may have been shy, but at the same time he was hilarious, he was sassy and fun, he was smart and witty, once you got past his weak looking fassade.

Which had been easy for Yeonjun. And he was sure it’d be incredibly easy for most people to meet the real Taehyun. But what seemed to be hard for most was to even notice him. After all, he was one of those kids that’d just be invisible to most people, or plain uninteresting. And he had been invisible to Yeonjun just two months ago. And now...?

He was the only one he could see. The only one he wanted to lay his eyes upon.

“Juni, do you, say, remember anything from the party two weeks ago?” Yeonjun curiously raised his head when Taehyun asked him that.

“Mins party? When you picked me up?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, no. You know I kind of-”

“Yes. I know. You pretty much blacked out.”   
“Why’d you bring that up though?” Yeonjun flipped his own breakfast pancake, barely catching it with the pan.

“Oh, I was just…” Taehyun poked into his pancake. “I was just thinking about it. Because I’m pretty sure that I… really fell in love with you then.” Yeonjun laughed, it sounded quite odd. What could make someone fall in love with some drunk guy?

“Was I just that endearing when I was wasted?”

“Actually-” Now Taehyun huffed, and a slight pink colour appeared on his face. “You kind of were. I don’t know but it felt like you were speaking your mind, like  _ actually _ telling me what you think. Like confessing. And of course I didn’t realize, because- You know. I thought you were just talking dumb shit because you were drunk, and-” Now he looked up, with a soft smile, his cheeks turning into a darker shade of pink as he thought back to whatever moment he was talkig about now. “And then we almost kissed?”

“Taehyun- We  _ did _ kiss, you-”

“No, I mean… the night I picked you up. Like before we went to bed.”

“Oh. Wait-”

“I mean, we didn't, we didn’t end up kissing, but we almost did and I… I definitely wanted to kiss you in that moment and now that I think about it, that might have been it. I think that made me really… fall.”

Yeonjun looked at Taehyun for a while, watching him lower his head, almost in embarrassment. 

“And I fell in love then but I didn’t understand and that’s why… the next day ended up being like that. Also, you were drunk and technically I was going in for the kiss and even though you  _ told  _ me that you wanted to kiss me, you were still intoxicated and you know, that wouldn’t be right to-”

“Taehyunnie, it’s alright-”

“Right, what I’ve been  _ wanting  _ to say- I think that was the moment that started really confusing me. Because  _ I _ wanted to kiss you and it didn’t really… make sense, you know. I started to really question everything, like my feelings and all, but- I didn’t want to question if that makes sense?”

“Are you still…” Yeonjun now took the pan off the stove and stepped in front of Taehyun, who even seemed the slightest bit taller than him now that he was sitting on the kitchen counter. “...mad at yourself for not… noticing it?” He then cupped Taehyuns cheeks, looking into his eyes.

“I don’t think I’ll ever not be mad at myself for it.”

“Even though everything’s fine now?”

“Maybe you’ll have to prove to me that everything’s fine?”

“How many more times do I have to prove it?”

“Maybe a thousand times, maybe a million... Now come on. Kiss me.”

And obviously, Yeonjun didn’t hesitate to press his lips against Taehyuns.

  
  
  


Kais arms were crossed as he walked next to Taehyun, constantly side-eyeing him. He had barely spoken to Taehyun in the lesson they just had together, and now both of them were heading to some nice calm place while Kai still pouted, staring at his best friend as if he was waiting for something.

Well, Taehyun knew what he was waiting for. An explanation. A whole big story of what happened this weekend. And yet Taehyun just hadn’t been able to tell him, after spending the whole day with Yeonjun and not really having the time yet to talk about the whole story since he had to be somewhat focussed during this lesson. And now, just telling him on the go would be kind of awkward too, so the two were on their way to the library, to finally talk about it. Quietly.

They entered the library, sat down at a bigger table farther away from the entrance, and Taehyun noticed Kais now intense stare.

“Right, should I… should I just start or-”

“Oh no, before you start… let me say something.” Kai leaned forward as he looked at Taehyun, still pouting. “I just hope you’re aware… that me and your family, especially your father, were very, very worried about you.”

“Come on, Hyuka, you sound like my mom-”   
“I’m serious. I don’t know what happened, but your dad said you wanted to go on a walk and it got dark and as soon as it gets dark, you should-”

“I should have told you. I know. And I’m sorry, but I- I got distracted?” Taehyun sighed as his best friend continued to look at him, now leaning back in his chair. “Come on, what more do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me  _ what _ happened now? How on earth did you end up with Yeonjun again? Hello, Taehyun, I got to scold you and now you better tell me every single detail, and don’t you dare leave anything out!”

Well telling Kai  _ everything _ might be difficult, especially the beginning of all this; his fight with Kiwoon. Not the fact that  _ he _ tried to hurt Taehyun but much rather that Taehyun actually hit him. And he wasn’t really keen on describing to Kai the amount of times he started crying, even when Yeonjun was already sleeping deeply and Taehyun woke up next to him at night, seeing him sleep so soundly right there, and simply starting to tear up from happiness.

But the rest? Calling Yeonjun, confessing in tears, kissing and kissing even more, and then having a sweet little breakfast with him the next day… These were exactly the things Kai wanted to hear, those that constantly made him coo and gasp and sigh, dreamily looking at Taehyun as he told him the story.

“Please, this is so heartwarming… The boy you’ve loved all this time helping and protecting you… And then you are finally together…” Kai hid his face in his big sleeves of his colourful sweater. “Such a beautiful love story… So much pain and struggle and a rewarding happy ending!”

"Kai, I think you're getting a bit too excited-"

"But I have every reason to! Like both of you have gone through so much during this relationship and now you're finally together, like,  _ really _ together? Obviously that makes  _ me _ happy too, you know, as your Soulmate! And like…” Kai once again sighed dramatically. “Isn’t that so romantic of him? To come and help you even after you’ve broken his heart? That he never stopped loving you even though you-”

“I get it, Kai- I get it, let’s not talk about  _ that _ again!”

Kai proceeded to ask questions, how it felt to stay over at Yeonjuns house, if the pancakes he served were good (they really were), and if he acts any different now that they’re really in a relationship. Which was quite a difficult question, because he didn’t act too different, it was comparable to the way he used to already treat him in public, mixed with real friendship and admiration he had always shown him in private. And everything felt genuine. Taehyuns actions felt genuine and natural, like kissing Yeonjun, holding him or being held  _ by  _ him. It’s not like it hadn’t always felt natural but this time he was  _ admitting _ it.

After a few minutes and a bunch of questions Taehyuns phone buzzed. Now look at that, a message from the one they had been talking about this whole time.

**_Juni❤_ **

_ where are uuuu?? _

_ I’m with kai! _

_ in the library _

_ oooh can i come too? _

Taehyun hesitated. As much as he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend to show everyone how real they were, and this time without acting, he felt like he should hang out with Kai again, after mostly focusing on Yeonjun the past month. Then again-

“Kai, is it okay if Yeonjun comes?” The boy nodded, though hesitant at first.

“Sure. I mean I’ve heard everything I wanted to know, so-” He was about to stand up when Taehyun quickly grabbed his wrist to drag him down again.

“Nono, don’t leave! Stay, come on, we can hang out together!”

“For- For real?” And now Kais eyes widened, as if it was some kind of special honour to be with Taehyun and Yeonjun.

“Yes! You should get to know Jun a bit too, right?” Taehyun already began texting Yeonjun back when a huge smile formed on Kais face.

  
  


_ sure! _

_ come to us _

_ on my wwwway!! _

  
  


And he was, indeed, on his way, arriving after a good 3 minutes, being ever so slightly out of breath, indicating that he was hurrying to get to the library. He quickly pressed a kiss against Taehyuns cheek before falling on the chair next to him, now grinning at Kai who had let out a tiny squeak.

“Hi, friends.”

“Oh my god. This is the best. You two are the best. Woah.”

“Kai, stop freaking out about this- Why are you more excited about this than us…?”

“I don’t think he’s more excited about this than  _ me _ ,” Yeonjun just said, quickly grabbing Taehyuns hand.

“Oh,  _ you _ poor guy had to endure this dumbass the whole time! I remember when he finally came to his senses… What an idiot, he was crying and crying and-”

“Kai, don’t-”

“He talked about how much he loved being with you but he still believed that he wasn’t in love!”

“Kai…”

“And then  _ I _ ,  _ me _ out of all people, had to tell him that he  _ was _ in love! Imagine having to explain to your friend how they’re feeling because they’re too dumb to figure it out themselves!”

“Please, Kai, can you shut your pretty mouth, I don’t need you to repeat all that-”

“Our lovely Tyun is just extremely bad at feelings! Good at everything except for being an emotionally stable person!”

“I swear to god, can you stop absolutely  _ roasting _ me, I think we got it-” By now Taehyun had hidden his face in his hands, trying to not think about his dumbness and complete ignorance towards his feelings. He got it, really, he was an idiot and Kai rubbing it in his face more wasn’t really  _ that _ necessary.

But again, it was pretty much a lesson to not push back his feelings like this again, to be open and honest with himself in order to not hurt anyone, and  _ himself _ like that again.

“I mean- I personally understood my own feelings early on, but I guess some people just have problems with-”

“Can we stop having a therapy session for me maybe? And talk about different things?” Taehyun sighed as loudly as he could, making sure that the others really got him now.

“Sorry, sure-” Yeonjun squeezed Taehyuns hand and laughed. “Right, I wanted to tell you about an idea I had! I’ve kind of been wanting a piercing for some time now and I asked Beomgyu if he maybe wanted to get one together with me?” Now Taehyun raised his head. A piercing? Oh.  _ Oh _ .

“Where- Do you want to get one?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Yeonjun clearly tried to hide a smile right now, not so secretly waiting for Taehyuns reaction. “A lip ring maybe?”

“Oh shit.” And once again Taehyun hid his face, noticing the heat that was slowly rising in his cheeks. Imagining that was already a lot for Taehyuns poor heart to handle.

“Hah! Look at that, I got you blushing!”

“Shut up--”

“Taehyun sure would appreciate it if you got a lip ring, Hyung! You have very pretty lips so you will look really good!” Kais voice was definitely now just mocking his friend.

Yes, Yeonjun really  _ had _ beautiful lips and they didn’t just  _ look _ but feel beautiful. And maybe Yeonjuns lips had always been a weakness of Taehyun. And, just maybe, perhaps, a lip ring decorating his boyfriends beautiful face will make Taehyun malfunction.

“Thank you very much, Kai. I think it’s a very good idea to-”

“Jun, we have been looking for you?” Yeonjun got interrupted when two more people approached, one of them calling out for him. The two were none other than Beomgyu and Soobin, the shorter of both clinging to his friend's arm while waving at them. Both sat down on the big table without waiting for an invitation.

“Hello, friends. And Taehyun.” Beomgyu eyed Taehyun with faked disgust. “Decided to get your feelings under control, huh?”

“Can everyone like, stop bullying me?” Taehyun only sighed.

“Sorry, sorry, we’re cool now, though I still want to kind of kick you in the face.” Beomgyu laughed, and yet Taehyun knew that he was still somewhat serious about that. Which was understandable. After all, Taehyun wanted to kick himself in the face too.

“Speaking of that!” Now Soobin raised his voice, soft yet excited. “Do you know about what happened to Kiwoon?”

“Oh? What happened to him?” Yeonjun asked, and Taehyun immediately started to have a bad feeling.

“Okay, so apparently he broke his nose? But nobody knows how, he didn’t tell his friends either. So either he got beat up by a child or he fell on his face- both of which I find very fun to think about.”

“Oh my god-” Taehyun only blurted out, lifting the hand he used to punch the dude with. If it was because of him-

“Taehyun?” Yeonjun just looked at his boyfriend in confusion, then slowly widened his eyes as he started connecting the dots. “No, wait, don’t tell me-”

“I- I may have left out a detail when I told you that I met him-”

“No fucking way, Taehyun.”

“Can’t be because of me, right? Can’t be. I mean he was bleeding but-”

“Taehyun. Mister Taehyun.” Beomgyus voice sounded dead serious. “What the fuck are you talking about.”

“I might have broken his nose this weekend.”

And now everyone was silent, looking at the boy that, a month ago, was still wrapped in pastel sweaters every day, the boy that was so tiny and fragile. Then Soobin began to break out in laughter, not the kind that said “I don’t believe you” but one that was more of a “That bitchass deserved it”.

“Holy shit,” Beomgyu called out. “You’re a fucking jock slayer. Oh my god, you are an absolute GOD!” Taehyun only grinned, was about to say something when a woman hushed at them, shutting all of them up immediately.

“If you want to talk and be loud,” she croaked ,”do it outside. This is a library, people are trying to work. Leave.”

And so they did, all five. Beomgyu patted Taehyuns back a few more times, maybe a bit  _ too _ hard, then went back to holding Soobins hand, all while Kai and Yeonjun fondly smiled at him.

Alright. That was an interesting group. A mix of five really weird and different kids. But Taehyun could get used to it, really. Hanging out with all of them really would be… Fun.

Maybe the last years at this school would be a lot more fun with this group. And especially, with Yeonjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [faints]
> 
> OKAY okay so i dont want to say a lot, just that today is actors 6 month anniversary! ive been working on this bitch for exactly half a year now! and... theres only one chapter left now!  
> yeah... actor is almost over, yall! im already working on my next big project though hehehe... i hope to finish the last chapter sometime september or early october but i cant promise anything!  
> sorry for making yall wait so much! if you want more progress updates etc please feel free to follow me on twt @/LesbianTaehyun <3  
> see you next chapter!
> 
> OH AND ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 9K HITS RHJFEHVAFJB THATS SO MUCH I AM GOING TO FAINT AaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFUJIFKJVNFV


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